Smackdown is on the air, Live from Bridgeport, CT!
Stacy Keibler comes out to open the show. (this is already better than all of RAW)
STACY: And now, let's give a warm welcome to the owner of Smackdown and my boss, Vince McMahon.
Vince comes out, walking even weirder than usual.
VINCE: Thank you very much Stacy for that warm introduction. {ASSHOLE chants} You're using language like that in the presence of a lady. I was wondering Stacy if maybe both of us need a microphone, would you mind getting one more. {Vince gets an ass shot and stops her} On second thought, that's alright, come back. You see Stacy is a model employee, Stacy will do everything that I tell or ask her to do. That's a model employee, I wish I could clone her. But unfortunately on Smackdown not everyone is like that, we have some dissident employees. Right at the top of that list we have that jerk HHH. You see I told HHH not to physically interfere with the Jericho/Hogan match. HHH didn't exactly physically interfere, but he did interfere. It was a distraction when he came down the ramp. Had it not been for the distraction of HHH, Jericho would be tonight the WWE champion. Jericho would have defeated Hogan just like Jericho defeated HHH last week. Some new rules for tonight - HHH you can't come within 10 feet of me. You will also do exactly as I tell you to do and you will do it with a smile. I own Smackdown and I damn sure own you and if you don't do exactly as I tell you to do starting tonight, there's gonna be hell to pay.
Motorhead hits and now, coming to you from 15,000 ft above certain death, it's HHH - now beardless for the first time since his DX days...I bet that makes him a pussy now. What? I could take him! Sigh...no I couldn't.
HHH{standing at least 10 feet away} - Don't come within 10 feet of you huh? {HHH Chants} What do you think Vince? This seems like about 10 feet. Was it 10 feet or was it 9 feet{step} 8 feet? {step} 7 feet {step) 6 {step} 5,4,3,2,1 {gets NOSE TO NOSE} You gonna destroy me now Vince? Or is everyhthing that comes out of your mouth complete bullshit. I think it's a lie, just like Stacy thinks it's a lie. Just like when you tell her that an old man can satisfy a 22 year old woman. Just look at her Vince, look at how she's looking at me. Don't you think she'd rather have a young stud who can pay attention to every detail of her young body and could keep her satisfied all night long. {he gets nose to nose with her and she puts her finger in her mouth seductively} Or would she want a wrinkled up old bastard with bad breath and a bad toupee? C'mon Vince, Stacy knows it's a lie. It's a lie when you tell her things like "Jeez, I don't know what happened...it happens to a lot of guys." Or you stand there au naturale and look down and go "It's just really cold in here!" I'll tell you what isn't a lie, Anna Nicole Smith over there is just killin time to you kick the bucket and she collects the cash. So you get in my face anymore and I'll speed up the process.
VINCE: Stacy, you should leave the ring. You aren't gonna want to be here when stuff starts happening. {he calmly escorts her out and then reels toward HHH, absolutely livid} You think I'm gonna listen to your insults pal?! You think I'm an old man?! You think I won't slap you in the face?! You think I won't beat the living hell out of you?! {jacket comes off} |
