We see a pair of legs, and AW YEAH, they belong to Stacy Keibler, donning her Ms. Hancock garb for her new role as Vince's assistant. She goes into his office, straightens a picture {for your viewing pleasure} cannot find Vince and then lies down on a couch and crosses her legs {for double your viewing pleasure}
{back to Stacy's legs}
Vince comes in and the two greet each other. Stacy wants to know if Vince has considered her offer to be his assistant. Vince says he's been giving it a great deal of thought and he tells her that there are a few other candidates for the position, who will be interviewed in the ring tonight. Stacy says she'll give him an offer that she can't refuse. You know, I took Vince as my Confirmation name, because our last names are similar, which is now beginning to look like an appropriate choice considering the overall skeevines of both the Catholic Church and Vince McMahon lately. Fortunately you won't find this reporter giving altar boys their "first communion" or forcing his employees to feign sexual interest in him on tv. Now THAT's a tangent!
Here comes Nero...I mean Vince McMahon. {For those of you saying "The Pizza Guy?" No, Nero was the Roman emporer who played his fiddle as Rome burned
VINCE: Well as you all know. {boos} Let's be nice. As you all know for sometime now I've been looking forward to hiring a personal assitant, one with eminent qualifications. Since from time to time my assistant may have to appear in the general public, it may be a good idea to hold these auditions before you people here tonight. Candidate number one!
{a prim and proper woman walks to the ring...she looks like a librarian and she comes into the ring which has been decorated like an office}
What's your name?
GIRL: Slyvia Johnson.
VINCE: What are your qualifications?
SYLVIA: I can type 95 words per min, speak three languages and work overtime no problem.
VINCE: No good, you're not my type - out! Don't let the door hit you...that's right, we don't have doors on a ring do we? NEXT!
{a guy walks down! They make fun of him for looking like Steve from Blues Clues, VINCE just stares and then screams}
GET OUT! NEXT!
{a attractive, yet professional looking woman comes to the ring}
What's your name?
GIRL: Sue Heicherson.
VINCE: How many words per minuted do you type?
SUE: 95
VINCE: Do you take dictation?
SUE: Of course.
VINCE: I love a secretary who can take good dictation. Sounds like you're qualified, unless someone makes me an offer I can't refuse!
{"Legs" hits and out comes Stacy}
STACY: Take a hike honey, you aint gettin my job. Vince, take a seat. As for my qualifications, I'm not gonna tell you, I'm gonna show you.
{she wipes off the desk, takes her hair down, gets up on the table and starts dancing ala Ms. Hancock. Vince tips over in his chair. Then she puts one leg on each shoulder and Vince says}
VINCE: You're hired Stacy! |
