Composer

It start like this... My first lover is Called Alan Ng.. that time i'm jus secondary 3 he was the 1st guy i like and have a feeling towards him but all this was just a crap coz dat time i still young dun realli noe wad love.. he could commuintcate wif me well so this is the reson why i fall for him.. But all dis is So called cyber staed ba coz i had never met him before never seen him before.. got one time he called and met up at Ang Mo Kio KFC there... When he saw me he said When i grown bigger den go look for him.. Which means i look like adult and grown taller and not longer airport..As i am short, ugly and "so called airport" dats was i'm in secondary dat time all i think dat is i being childish... But its hard to forget him whenever i feel bored i will called him for talk but the distance getting further n further.. Later i knew another guyand getteing close to him much more den Alan Ng.. Ever seen we had never been contact anymore! All dis is I'm jus childish.. Maybe i looking for a Staed is because of all my classmate and best friends have a Stead and always have BGR problems so i oso wish den end up being childish..

The second guy appear in my life is Alan Lau but towards him i had no feeling... jus he asked to stead wif him and i agree wif no feeling at all being wif him just like being wif kids as he walk bump here and there make me so embrassed he is oso the 1st guy who hold my hands... But i told him alot of things about myself about my illness... Staed wif him for 3 months.. still no feeling at all... he always ask for break and patch, break and patch to me i think he jus dunno wads the meaning of LOVE. When the last time we broke off since then we had never contact.. But he do played a game dat i used to play.. i saw wadz he wrote about me... its say " dis is teh witch dat i hate the most, wan ppl to tong qin her!? call her go die! go slp wif guys, cheat others! but lucky i was not hooked!" i saw i was so angry and think back do i did anything to cheat him? had i ever lied or cheated him? i had never chaet him or wad all along is he hu cheat my feeling and toyed me.. as i was trying to putting effort in the relation... but he keep ask for break and patch... but love is jus a game no matter how he say me i jus ignore coz... No point angry and my concious is clear dat i had nv cheat or toyed any one even him...

Dis is another guy hu enter my life n hurts my heart alot.. everyday cried evey nite cried.. Dis is how i noe him.. he told me his exam fail and wish to run away from home asked me to join i refused.. later he was angry as i dun care coz dat time i'm still not his anybody.. later i received my mom called.. he scolded me for my Hp bills as he say cant over $100 i didn't jus abt $70+ end up my mom wanna take back the phone... i was so angry so he ask me to run away from home i agree.. when i saw him in the nite, he took me go to meet his friends up and asked for help.. later we hang out at a see saw near his friend HDB flat... Later he bring me to Ka tong shopping centre sat at the bowling there... i was so tired.. i said i wan go to the sea side so we brought me to east coast... den i saw my mom was searching me.. He was kanna scolded my my elder sister ex.. den late he went home and i went home too i saw my mom cried coz of me i knew my mom heart pain.. being wif him my mom always heart pain and hurts as i always hurt her coz of my this guy..he teach me to escape sch bring to east coast early in the morning whereby no ppl and drag me to the boy toilet to do things guys wanted.. but no sexually... He always come to my house... whenever there is no 1 he want to do petting wif me if i dun allow i will get beaten by him... when there is peopel in my house like my younger sister he would do nothing... always stared at her... as he dislike me younger sis alot.. But whenever i go out wif him wad i want will never get to dissappoint coz he will get for me... he always act infront of my family members and my friends or his friends dat he is bery good... infact all this was jus a acting... wad i wanted to eat he will get for me no matter how far or how expensive... whenever i go out i dun hav to bring any money along.. Once i was sick realli sick he came to my house find a excuse dat he wanted to take acre of me.. as i had no strength at all.. but i refused him to come he insisted when he reach knock on the door so loud.. so no choice i gets to open the door for him he came in he was takeing care of me i was so happy but he do it on purpose... when i get to slp he took off my clothe and had sexually wif me.. i cried loudly n i dun wish too but i cant do anything he hit me... and ask me shut up.. his strength was so strong.. no matter how i defence still cant.. Later i learn how to torture myself whenever he wanna hit me i take my head to bang on the wall so dat he wont gets to hit me...i know u guys will ask y dun i break off wif him.. i wanted break off wif him bery long agian but he refused always come to my house to find me... Always disturb me... He was so violent... at last i bite my teeth and wanna break off wif him he refused i hit myself and bang my head against the wall till he agree to break off wif me.. dis is how i end the relation.. HaizZz~ strugle 1 and a half year den end it.. i was so sick and tired n hurts badly..Coz of him i hurt my mom so much i din know y.. as i dun love him and never loved him before... All this was the past.. my shadow now i gets to knwo all guy in IRC cant gets to be stead but can be Good friends.. Alan Ng, Alan Lau, This guy all i know them from IRC...