By Shirley WILLIS Deem 1998

Every time I think of banking the fire, I have many memories that come to mind. Number one, the memory of a terrifying fear; and number two, a poignant sadness/depression of the miserable conditions in which I had to raise my children. These were definitely NOT the good old days! But, let me give you a little background to this time I am about to tell you about.

It was August, in the summer of 1954 when we made our move back from Colorado. We made the trip back with my husband Ozzie's Aunt Ethel and Uncle Dale, as they were traveling from California, on their way back for a family visit in Indiana.

Kenny was 2, and the twins, Ronny and Donny, were 6 months old when we made the trip. (Ozzie, their dad, had gone back to Indiana a few months before us) There was a heat wave and no air conditioning in cars in those days. The milk for the babies was curdling in the thermos, so we had to stay in a motel during the day and travel at night. My feet were burning from the heat on the floorboard of the car, so I had to prop them up on the seat in the back. Quite a trip!

I had explicitly told Ozzie that I would not come back to Indiana unless he had a place for us to live. He had promise he would....but, we lived with the in-laws for 8 months! They only had three rooms, and "path". It was getting pretty unbearable for them - as well as for us.

Our neighbors, the Abbitts, had ordered a garage to be built on their property to live in, and to finish raising their 9 children. The deal was with the A1 Construction company out of Indianapolis was - no money down, and $42.00 per month. We investigated the possibility of doing the same. After all, it would be a roof over our heads. Homer, my father-in-law, deeded a little portion off of his property for our garage to be built. In early spring of 1955, we moved in. We had no water, no electricity, no gas, no outhouse, no ceilings, no walls for rooms, but we were at least to ourselves.

"The Miller Drive" area where we lived, was located southeast of Bloomington, and had no water, sewer or gas utilities. It was there, in that little garage, that we began to rear our children. We also had three more while we lived there .... Scott, Teresa, and Jackie.

In June of 1955, my mother and grandmother moved to Indiana to be near us. (They said that each year after that, in June, they bent over and kicked each other) Mom bought a used trailer and moved it to the back of our garage til she could find a lot to move it to. It was during this summer, that Dad also moved back to Indianapolis, so I had a little help with getting the garage livable. Mom got work right away with Tarzian's Tuner plant on Hillside Drive, and grandma helped me with the children, as I was having a very difficult time in my pregnancy carrying Scott. We also had another heat wave that summer.

Dad came to wire our house for electricity, (he was an electrician by trade, as well as a tool and die maker) Mom paid for the wiring, and Dad did the work. At least we had lights now.

I went to work after Scott was born at the Tarzians plant also. Winter was coming on and I was scared that we would have to move back in with the in-laws, as we didn't have a chimney flue to have a stove for heating. One day as I was walking home from work, I saw someone on top of the roof, and Sam, my brother-in-law, was putting in a chimney. What a relief! (I know it was for the in-laws benefit, as well as for us.) Sam, and "Tootsie", were both such a blessing to me through the years... I really don't know what I would have done without them at times.

Now, to the banking of the fire. Just before it got real cold, someone gave us a coal stove, a "Warm Morning" brand. It's top lid, where you added the coal, was broken. You had to lift off both broken parts to add coal. Sometimes that was really tricky if the fire was too hot. Every night, the stove had to be "banked"- that is, you had to add enough coal to carry the fire all through the night so it wouldn't go out. I would wait til bedtime.... as late as possible, to go outside to get the last bucket of coal. There were no outside lights, and it was black....as coal....when I'd go out.

I can't describe the fear of going out there. I would feel something breathing down my neck, hovering over me. I would gather the coal as fast as I could and run as fast as I could to the back door. Once inside, I could breath again. The next night it would be the same torture. I would dread all day having to go outside that night again to get the nightly coal.

One day, I was reading the Bible in 1^st John 4:18. It said, "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love."

That really spoke to me! Evidently I was not made perfect in love, or I wouldn't have this terrible fear! This was a message that I believe the Lord gave me through His Word to help me to overcome this fear of the dark. As I began to ask the Lord to help me to have perfect love, the fear left....Praise God! I have not been tormented again like that. I only recently found out how it works - the way to have perfect love....and that was in 1^st John 2:5 where it says, "But, whoso keepeth His Word, in him verily is the love of God perfected..." So there it was, keeping His Word helps us to have perfect love. And, if we have perfect love, we don't have fear. It works!!