Incest

What is incest?

Incest is sexual activity - ranging from fondling to intercourse - between family members who are not married to one another.

Children may be abused by:

• fathers or stepfathers

• mothers or stepmothers

• brothers, sisters, cousins

• members of their extended family, such as grandparents, aunts or uncles

Why is it important to learn about incest?

Because learning about incest can help end the silence that allows it to continue. By facing the problem directly you can:

• Help sexually abused children and their families. You can help make sure that treatment programs are available for victims and abusers.

• Help prevent incest. No child should ever have to suffer the pain of incest.

Incest can happen in any family. But some typical factors include:

• A breakdown in family life. Parents with sexual problems may turn to their children to meet their needs.

• Problems with alcohol or other drugs. Under the influence of alcohol or other drugs, a person usually has less self-control. This can make incest more likely.

• Feelings of inadequacy. People who are depressed or have low self-esteem may use incest as a way to feel powerful again.

• Denial. Sometimes, family members deny that incest is even taking place because they fear the consequences.

• Other abuse. Neglect, spousal abuse, emotional abuse and physical abuse occur more frequently in families where incest is likely.

• Confusion of family roles. Parents may feel uncomfortable in the roles of parent and spouse. They may force their children into assuming these roles.

• A history of abuse. People who were themselves victims of physical and sexual abust may know no other way to realte to their children.

• Vulnerable children. Children with disabilities, children who are unwanted, or children who resemble someone disliked may be more likely to be abused.

But there is no exucse for incest. And, incest is never the victim's fault.

The Effects of Incest:

• A loss of trust. Children may have trouble forming trusting relationships. This is the result of being treated in a frightening and painful manner by someone they love.

• Feelings of guilt. Children often feel they're to blame for incest. They may need professional help to understand that the adult is totally responsible for the incest.

• A loss of self-esteem. Many abused children feel worthless and unlovable. It can affect their schoolwork, job performance, and personal relationships.

• Other problems. Incest may affect children throughout their lives in many ways, including antisocial behavior, amxiety and depression, confusion about identity, eating or sleeping disorders.

Incest may result in:

• Self-destructive behavior. Some children who believe they should "pay" for their involvement in incest may turn to prostitution or drugs, or even commit suicide.

• Sexual problems. Victims of sexual abuse may not understand the difference between love and sex. It may be difficult for them to find satisfying relationships later in life.

• Pregnancy. Many female victims who have reached puberty are at risk of becoming pregnant.

Some signs that may indicate incest:

• Isolation from the outside world. Family members may avoid contact with people outside the family in an attempt to keep others from "finding out" about incest.

• Frequent drinking, alcoholism and a history of abusive treatment of other family members may signal an incest problem.

• Restrictive control by a parent. For example, in a case of father-daughter incest, the father may act like a jealous boyfriend. He may forbid his daughter to have friends - especially boyfriends - or to attend parties, dances, etc.

• Overdependence of one parent on the other. For example, in many father-daughter incest cases, the mother is very dependent on her husband and may even be frightened by him.

The child's behavior - Be especially alert to:

• Physical problems. Children who are victims of incest may complain of pain or injury to the genital area, painful urination and stomachaches. They may also suffer sleep disturbances (bed-wetting, nightmares).

• School performance. Children may bury themselves in their work to avoid thinking about incest. Or, their schoolwork may suffer because they can't concentrate on it.

• Poor peer relationships. Incest victims are more likely than other children to be depressed, secretive and withdrawn. As a result, they may spend little or no time with friends.

• Other signs. These may include hostility toward adults, delinquency, substance abuse, seductive behavior, running away, fear of going home, and fear of being left alone with the abuser.

If you suspect incest, take action.

Contact the appropriate agency. Every state has at least one agency you can contact to file a report.

• Contact the Children's Protective Services (CPS), the Department of Human Services or the Child Welfare Agency.

• Check the yellow pages under Social Service Organizations for the number of the appropriate agency in your area.

Understand what will happen. After you file a report (which you may do anonymously), a caseworker will visit the child (often at school) and the family. Depending on the findings, the child may be removed from the home, and legal action may be taken. In most cases, professional help is recommended for victims and their families.

Protect Children Against Incest

Children are often victims of incest because they don't understand what is happening to them. Be sure that you:

• Discuss sexuality with your children. Teach them about their bodies and about appropriate sexual behavior.

• Teach your children that they should say "no" if someone tries to touch sexual parts of their bodies or in any way that makes them feel uncomfortable.

• Observe your children when they interact with others. If they are particularly uncomforatble around a certain relative, talk with them about their discomfort.

• Listen carefully to what you children say. Kids may not say directly what is bothering them, but they may give verbal clues that something is wrong.

• Let children know that they can speak openly to you if someone touches them in any way that confuses them or makes them feel uncomfortable. Be sure your children know that you will believe what they say.

• Seek help if you and your spouse are having difficulty meeting one another's needs for affection and understanding.

Make others aware of the problem:

You can help inform others about incest and get them involved in doing something about the problem through:

Service clubs, church groups, and other community organizations:

• Arrange for knowledgeable guest speakers to give presentations about incest to your group.

• Follow up presentations with a discussion about what your organization can do to help solve the problem.

Schools and libraries:

• Encourage school boards to educte both teachers and students about incest. Offer to help develop incest awareness programs.

• Ask your librarian to stock books about incest. Suggest that your friends and relatives read them so they, too, can be informed about this problem.

Offer support for victims:

In addition to reporting suspected cases of incest, you can:

• Reassure victims that they should feel no shame or guilt for what has happened to them.

• Support organizations that help victims of incest.

• Suggest that adults who experienced incest during childhood contact resources of help, if they need it.

Support treatment programs for offenders:

Many people who commit incest respond well to treatment. In fact, treatment makes it possible for many offenders to be successfully reunited with their families. You can help promote treatment programs by:

• writing letters to the editors of newspapers to make others aware of the need for such programs

• lobbying your legislators so that they will introduce and support legislation that promotes rehabilitation programs for offenders.

Troubled families can be helped by:

• Children's Protective Services (CPS). This agency is a part of the department of social services. CPS receives and investigates reports of incest, provides emotion support for victims, makes referrals for professional help and provides other forms of assistance.

• Crisis Intervention Centers. These provide medical and legal information, as well as personal support, to victims.

• Crisis hotlines. Trained staff member counsel callers and refer them to sources of professional help.

• Self-help groups. Separate groups help victims of incest and abusers. Groups meet to share problems and possible solutions.

• Law enforcement agencies. These are particularly helpful when immediate protection is needed. Personnel can also take crime reports and gather evidence.

• Other sources. Physicians, hospitals, mental health centers, counseling agencies, etc., can provide referrals and other help to inces victims and their families.

Information provided c 1985 Channing L. Bete Co., Inc. All rights reserved.

Copyrighted information property of Channing L. Bete Co., Inc. For more information or a copy of this booklet, call (800) 628-7733.