Yes No

2. Do you ever feel like the person you're dating doesn't truly respect you?

Yes No

3. Do you want to have sex because you're curious or just to "get it over with"?

Yes No

4. Do you feel like "everyone else is doing it"?

Yes No

5. If you have decided to have sex, do you ever feel bad or have any doubts about your decision?

Yes No

6. Are there times you don't want to have sex, but feel like you can't say no?

Yes No

7. Have you ever had a sexual experience that left you feeling frightened, shaking or guilty?

Yes No

8. Have you had sex without using a latex condom because your partner did not want to use one?

Yes No

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be having sex or considering having sex for the wrong reasons. You may even be experiencing sexual coercion.

Recognizing Sexual Coercion

It can take many forms, including:

• Pressure. The person may say that everybody's doing it, sex is the way to prove love, you've had sex before so you can't say no now. None of these are true!
• Threats. The person may threaten to hurt you or leave you if you won't have sex. You may feel afraid to say no.
• Flattery. Compliments can be sincere. But if someone keeps saying things that sound extreme or too good to be true, this may be sexual coercion.
• Other forms such as put-downs, guilt trips, buying gifts or spending money to make you feel you "owe" sex.

Remember you never owe anyone sex.

Tips for Avoiding Unwanted Sex

• Trust your feelings. Follow your instincts if you feel uncomfortable with a situation in any way or recognize signs of possible sexual coercion. Say no firmly or leave. Seek help if needed.
• Learn ways to respond to sexual pressure. For example: "I really like you. I'm just not ready to have sex." "If you really care about me, you'll respect my decision." "I said no. I don't owe you an explanation."
• Avoid alcohol and other drugs. These can harm judgement, make it harder to resist a sexual situation, make your partner more aggressive, make you black out (especially if a date rape drug is slipped into your drink).

Where to turn for help

• A trusted adult or friend. Talk to a parent or other family member, a teacher, anyone else you feel comfortable with and trust.
• A professional in the community. This may be a school counselor or nurse, health-care provider. If you are out of school, look in the yellow pages under mental health services.
• A hotline. If you feel troubles by any sexual experience you had had, call a local crisis center.