Stupid Jokes

First Monster: Why did you eat those tightrope walkers?
Second Monster: I like a wellbalanced diet!


Why do ghosts shiver and moam ?
It's drafty under that sheet!


Girl Monster: Mom, the teacher said I was nice, smart, and well-behaved.
Mother Monster: Don't feel bad, dear. You'll do better next semester.


Boy Monster: Look how much I've eaten- practically the whole family. Ma,
I've eaten the motehr, the brother, the sister, and the grandparents. Now,
I'm going after the pop!
Mother Monster: Put him down, son. You know pop is bad for your teeth.


What did the monster kid say when he saw Santa Claus?
"Yum, yum!"


Why do werewolves howl up at the full moon?
Because you can't howl at the full moon!


Why did the mike stay home from the party?
He was dead tired.


Why do vampires drink blood?
Root beer makes them burp!


What's the mike favourite subject?
Latin, because it's a dead language.


What do you call a disgusting, slimedripping, two headed monster who comes
to New York for the first time?
A tourist.


What did the vampire from outer space say when he landed on Earth?
"Take me to your bleeder!"


What is ten feet tall, has two heads, and goes click-click?
A ballpoint monster!


What do you get if you cros King Kong with a kangroo?
Big holes in the ground!


Daughter Monster: Mommy, my freind jannie says I'm a vampire. That's not
true' is it? Mother Monster: Of course not. Vampires suck blood. You didn't
suck her blood, did you? Daughter Monster: Well...... only once or twice.


Son: Mommy, the kids at school all say I eat like a monster. That's not
true, is it?
Mother: Of course not. But howmany times do I have to tell you to stop
eating with your hands and usea shovel?


Girl Monster: Mommy, the kids all say we're aliens from outer space.That's
not true, is it?
Mother Monster: Vegl dibrogkjh di sfgtyh mudroc!


Boy Monster: Mommy, the kids all say I'm a two-headed monster.That's not
true, is it?
Mother Monster: Shut your mouths. I'm trying to work.


Why does the boy monster kiss the girl monster on the back of her neck?
He has to. That's where her lips are!


Boy Monster: You have such lovely blue eyes.
Girl Monster: What's the matter? Don't you like my green eyes and my red
eyes?


Boy werewolf: I just love your hair. Is that a new hairdo?
Girl werewolf: No, I forget to comb my face this morning!


Boy Monster: Did you get the big, red heart I sent you for Valentine's Day?
Girl Monster: Yes, I did. Thank you. Boy Monster: Is it still beating?


Boy Vampire: I just love your type.
Girl Vampire: Really? What type am I?
Boy Vampire: RH-positive.


How does one monster greet another monster that has yellow skin with big,
red sores all over it, has six green eyes with pus dripping from them, and
is drooling purple slime from its three mouths?
"Hey, good-looking!"


Why the boy and girl skeletons cowards?
They don't have any guts!


First Vampire: Why did you fall in love with Count Dracula?
Second Vampire: I guess it was love at first bite!


First Vampire: Where are you going to take Nancy on your date?
Second Vampire: Oh, I thought we'd go to the movies, and then out for a
quick bite!


What did Frankenstein think of his own creation?
He thought it was shocking!


What does Frankenstein have for lunch?
About two thousand volts.


What do you call a monster who flies a kite in a lightning storm?
Benjamin Frankenstein.


Bride of Frankenstein: I bought you a new chai for your birthday.
Frankenstein: Oh, thanks. I can't wait to plug it in!


Was the Frankenstein monster a hit?
Yes. He was a staggering success!


What's Frankenstein's favourite TV show?
A current Affair.


What's a good way to greet Frankenstein?
"Hi, there. Watts new?"


What's green, weighs four hundred pounds, and has eight wheels?
Frankenstein on roller skates.


Why was Frankenstein arrested for throwing a party?
He threw it across the Grand Canyon!


Why did Frankenstein eat a box of bullets?
He wanted to grow bangs!


Why did Frankenstein go to a psychiatrist?
He had a screw loose.


What is green, has bolts on the sides of his neck, and is two feet tall?.
Frankenstein bending over to tie his shoelaces.

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