Laloo jokes

Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush thesecurity
guard told Laloo "WAIT PLEASE" for which Laloo replied
"65Kgs" and moved on...
Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and LasVegas.
So he called up the Tourist department and asked them
"Ji..could you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas...".
The man at the other end replies "One second sir..."
andLaloo immediately replies "thank you" and puts the phone down.
Laloos family planning policy..
"DONT HAVE MORE THAN TWO CHILDREN IN ONE YEAR"
At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE
WALKER, SINGLE."And the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE."
The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?"
Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."
After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go modelling.
Once he enters the herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of
the cattle he poses for the photo.
Next day the photo appears frontpage of a newspaper. GUESS THE CAPTION !!
"Laloo, third from left!"
Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business
Development to Bihar.
The Japanese Emissary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar
is an excellent state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an
economic superpower like Japan."
Laloo was very surprised. "You Japanese are very inefficient," hestated.
"Give me three days and I will turn Japan into the next Bihar!"
1) A Bihari after coming back from a three hour long class says: Saala pura
body headache maar raha hai
2) A Bihari goes to a movie hall and asks for two tickets,Do tho ticket
dena, the person at the window tells him that there is a house full, so this
Bihari says koi baat nahin do house full de do.
3) A Bihari went to New Delhi for the first time in his life. He went there
during the time of Asiad and was zapped to see all these new stadiums, newly
constructed roads, flyovers etc etc. The poor fellow hadn't seen all this
ever before. So when he came back to Aligarh people asked him as to how did
he like Delhi, he was too excited and said : yaar delhi to buhat top ka
laga, pura delhi chamak chamak raha tha, sab kuch jagmaga raha tha, sab
shine maar raha tha lekin yaar ek cheez hum understand nahin kar paye, yeh
itta barka barka speed breaker kahe ko bana diya hai (he couldn't figure out
what is a flyover).
4) A Bihari went to a cigarette shop and asked for one Wills: Bhai ek Will
dena, so the guy selling the cigarettes told him that there is no brand by
the name of Will, it is Wills, but the Bihari insisted and said I want one
Will, so the person told him unless you say it correctly i.e Wills I won't
sell it to you, so the Bihari went mad and said "Hum ek hi to maang rahen
hain pura packet to nahin maang rahen hain".
5) This incident happened when we were in college. Two Biharis talking to
each other, " Aaj Mother teresa a rahen hai Kennedy Auditorium mein saam ko
aap chalenge na , hum aap ko 5.30 p.m sharp pe lene aienge, so this fellow
didn't know who is Mother Teresa and replied back, " nahin bhai aap hi chale
jaiye hum Englis film nahin dekhte hain.
6) There was this Bihari who was travelling with two tickets, so when the
T.T.E asked for the ticket, this fellow gave both the tickets, and so the
T.T.E asked him the reason of buying two tickets , this fellow answered well
what will happen if in case I lose one of them, so the T.T.E said what if
you lose both of them, so this guy said then why do I have a monthly pass.

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