Ajit Jokes

(Scene - Giving a decision as to how the hero should be killed.)

AJIT:Peter, time bomb le aao aur is kutte ko usse bandh do.

Timer ko theek das baje set kar do.

Nahin nahin, yeh saala to sub cheez hamesha late karta hai.

Iski maut bhi late honi chahiye. Timer ko panch minute late rakh do.

Arre, Robert, Raabert, bevkoof, silly fellow, time bomb ko yahan peh mat

rakho, yeh to 'no-smoking' area hai. Ha haa ha.

Time bomb 'tic tic tic tic' karke bajega.

Aur iska dil 'tup tup tup' karke dhadkega.

Tum agar paas me khade hoge to tumko 'tic tup tic tup tic tup' suanaai dega

(Scene - Ajit ordering his chela to kill the enemy.)

AJIT: "Robert, Ise varnish mein daal do, saala mar bhi jaayega aur finish bhi ho jaayega.

Bob: Boss, mission par kaise jaaoon, mujhe headek ho raha hai.

AJIT: Abe head ek ho ya do, kaam to karna hi padegak.!

(Scene - Ajit ordering his chela to kill the enemy.)

AJIT: "Robert, Isss Haramzaade ko social security pe daal do.

Saale ko Society jeene nahin degi aur security marne nahin degi.

(Scene - Robert and Ajit are in a boat. The boat suddenly springs a hole and

water starts coming inside. Robert is perplexed !)

Robert: Boss ab kya hoga ??

AJIT:Robert Ek aur hole bana do, aur ek hole me IN aur doosre me OUT likh

do. Ek hole se paani ander aayega aur doosre se bahar chala jayega !!

Mickey Mouse: Ajit, Muzhe Ramayan padhnee hai.

Ajeet: Raabert, isse wall peh chipka do

Raabert: yeh kyon baas?

Ajeet: Taaki yeh waal-mickey kehlaygaa aur usse Ramayan apne aap samazh me ayegee!

Boss: Raabert!

Rab: Yes, bass?

Boss: Yeh "bus" mei kuch hawa daal do.

Rab: Lekin, kyon bass?

Boss: Yeh bus "Airbus" ban jayega.

Robert: boss, China se Mr. Hu aayee hain.

Ajit: Goli maar do. Hu mar jaane par humor ban ke sab ko hasaayenge.

Raabert: Boss! Aaap ko kaun si teen chiz sabse jahyahda pasand hein boss?

Ajeet: Ek Mona, Doosra Sona, aur Tisra, Mona ke saath Sona

Peter: Boss? Sona kahan hei?

Ajeet: Tum chahe jahan bhi sona, lekin mujhe to Mona darling ke saath sona!

Scene: Ajeet spots one of his is enemies...

Ajeet: Maikal, woh jo admi ghadi pahne tumhe nazar aarahaa hai, woh hamara mehman hai.

Tum ja kar uske doosre hath mein bhee gadhi pahna do...phir woh do ghadi ka mehman ho jayega !

Scene: Ajeet is escaping with his men in a helicopter...

Ajeet: Kuch hee der mein hamara helicopter hindustan ki sarhadon ke pare

door birmingham mein hoga. Wahaan tumhe ek kaale rang ki sioorlett

(cheverlett) nazar aayegi. Wo tumhe signal degee...on..off..on..off

Raabert : Boss..hamara signal kya hoga ?

Ajeet : bewkoof...off..on..off..on...

Peter: Boss? aur is pille ka kyaa kare boss?

Ajeet: Peter! Is saale ko super-conductor me daal do, saala bus mein ticket

dete-dete thak jayega.

Peter: Boss is saale ka kya karen ?

Ajeet: Ise microprocessor mein daal do...BIT by BIT marega !

Robert: aur boss..iska kya karen ?

Ajeet:Ise hamlet poison khilado...sochta rahega, to be or not to be !

Ajeet: "Raabert, Isss Haramzaade ko social security pe daal doo. Saale ko

Society jeene nahin degea aur security isse marne nahin degea.

Scene: Raabert and Ajeet are in a boat. The boat suddenly springs a hole and

water starts coming inside. Raabert is perplexed !

Raabert: Boss ab kya hoga ??

Ajeet: Raabert Ek aur hole bana do , aur ek hole me IN aur doosre me out lik

do . Ek hole se paani ander aayega aur doosre se bahar chale jayega !!

Scene: Ajeet is worried about something. Robert is facing him.

Ajeet: Shanker kaal bahuth bada maal Versova beach per aane wala hain.....

A pause.....

Tum chootti le lo.

Scene: Raabert had twins and comes to the "Boss".....

Raabert: Boss, mere dono bachon ke liye koi naam bataiye..

Ajeet : Ek ka naam rakho Peter....

Raabert: boss or doosre ka ?

Ajeet: Repeater.

Ajeet: Raabert, is Harshad Mehta kaa stool test karo.

Raabert: Stool, boss ?

Ajeet: Aakhir pataa chale ki ye bullshit kya cheez hai.

Scene: Ajeet get's hold of his favourite hero & then directs his chela.

Ajeet: Maikal, Is saale ke ek haath mein laal aur doosre haath mein hara

rang laga do.

Maikal: Lekin kyon baas?

Ajeet: Bewakoof, itnaa bhi nahin jaanta? Jab pulice yehaan aayegi to ise

range haathon pakad legi. he he he....

Scene: Raabert and Ajeet go for shikar...Raabert spots a peacock...

Raabert: Boss....more.. more...

Ajeet picks up the peacock, shoots it and says...

Ajeet : Nomore !

Peter: bass yeh aadmi to kuchh boal hee nahin rahaa...

Ajeet: Ise revolving chair pe bitha do, pataa to lage chakkar kya hai.

Ajeet: Mona, tum Toni se shaadi mat karnaa, bahut mona-toni ho jaegi.

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