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| 14 April 2002 |
| 14 April 2002 BB's Buttocks, Biceps and Bisexuals By Adam Harvey TAKE 12 Australians, make them share a house for a couple of days, then study the results. Will they a) drink a few beers, talk about the footy and argue about the washing-up? Or, b) announce their sexual preferences, remove their clothes to cook dinner, have three-way, same-sex kisses, shower together and tearfully discuss the most traumatic moments in their lives? If you selected b), you either have a wild social circle or you're a "reality" television producer with Channel 10. After just a few days, the network's Big Brother has degenerated into an exhibitionists' free-for-all. TELEVISED NUDITY THE show is a made-to-order orgy of nudity, brashness and sexual fluidity that would enliven a party at a Bandidos bikie gang clubhouse but seems awfully contrived in a shared house on the Gold Coast. More than 27,000 people scrambled to get on the latest instalment of reality television's most successful franchise, and at least 10 of the dozen people selected are lifelong show-offs - and proud of it. Take this exchange from the first episode: Host Gretel Killeen: "If you could describe yourself in, say, two words, what would they be?" Turkan Aksoy, 30: "I boogie down hard. I belly-dance, so I'll have to show you a lot of that, and basically I'm here for a lot of fun and to get to meet all these people. I'm looking forward to it - WOO-HOOO!" The most successful television program for 2001 has returned in a more hostile climate: an audience growing weary of reality programs such as Survivor, Castaway, Popstars and their less inventive offspring. Big Brother I seemed fresh and had some interesting and engaging characters. Sara-Marie Fedele's bum dance has been credited with raising the confidence of young women who don't conform to the Kate Moss body image, but not everybody on the show was an exhibitionist. BEAUTY MEDICINE THE makers of Big Brother II have decided the best way to delay the genre's imminent death throes is to fill the screen with good-looking young people and hope they get their gear off. They haven't been disappointed by this bunch of alpha males, body-piercers, aerobics instructors, musicians and bisexual thrill-seekers, who have an average age of 24. There aren't any housemates in their late 30s or 40s. Surely this isn't because younger people look better? "We interviewed a lot of people in that age group (over 35), but the number of suitable applicants in that age group is lower and it's therefore more difficult to create a cohesive cast including them," the show's makers say. So we're left with housemate Jessica Hardy, 24, an entertainer who describes herself as "energetic, bubbly and here to have a really good time". Then there's TV worker Alex Christie, 30, who is "good fun"; Turkan, who is "very loud"; Damian Hoo, 21, who is "flamboyant"; and body-piercer Sahra Kearney, 23, who is reportedly a "good entertainer". Friends of Shannon Cleary describe the 31-year-old personal trainer as "loud". Their antics are detailed on the Big Brother website. The headlines wouldn't look out of place in the National Enquirer: "Naked Communal Shower Frenzy"; "Shannon's Bulimia Anguish"; "Nathan Comes Out" and "Peter's Tragic Tale". Remember, they've been together for less than a week. Dr Toni Johnson-Woods is the University of Queensland academic who wrote Big Bother, a critique of the first series. She's been watching Big Brother II with interest. "The thing that struck me was that they all said they were fun, crazy sorts of people," Dr Johnson-Woods says. "There were a lot of people who professed to some sort of entertainment skill. There weren't that many in the previous series who had a talent. We're getting more performers." HAM AND LEGS IT'S too early to tell whether audiences will fall for scripted outrageousness from a bunch of long-legged ham actors. Ratings last week peaked on Monday at 2.04 million. On Wednesday, 1.6 million people tuned in, but by Thursday it was down to 1.36 million - fifth place on the night. Rival channels are already beginning to put the boot in, but it's important to remember that the original Big Brother's ratings didn't reach the stratosphere for quite a few weeks. The biggest rating episodes for last year were the "eviction nights" - when the public got to vote on who they would throw out of the house. Although many viewers may be attracted by tight singlets and shower scenes, Big Brother II still manages to be quite dull. It's the same phenomenon that affects the Playboy channel and those two-hour real-life specials that feature nothing but car crashes - the vicarious thrill quickly wears off. Biceps and buttocks are entertaining for a few minutes but then the audience is left with nothing but inane dialogue from a pack of extroverts - each trying to make an impression. Some of the highlights from last week were: (SCENE 1: THE TOILET) Sahra Kearney: "Can you hear, like, farting?" Nathan Morris (holding toilet paper): "Do you fold or scrunch? You know, if you're on the toilet for a while, I fold it." Sahra: "I scrunch. If I'm constipated, I'm like this." (She scrunches the toilet paper.) Nathan: "Oh no. So it's like this." (He folds the toilet paper.) (SCENE 2: THE GARDEN) Two tanned and fit 20-somethings sit together in the backyard, laughing as they drag their feet across some garden pebbles. The dark-haired young man, Damian Hoo, is wearing a tight singlet which display his impressive shoulders and triceps as he rests his hands on the ground behind him. The young blonde woman, Jessica Hardy, wears rose-tinted sunglasses. They seem so very cool - until they speak. Jessica: "I'm so glad that all of the people are just so on our level." Damian: "Oh, level - le-vel. Level is a big word, hey." Jessica: "And, you know, you're, I think, you're on the same level as well." Damian: "We got this frequency around." Jessica: "Yeah?" Damian: "Yeah, I think we might have a frequency." Jessica: "Yeah, it's a frequency." Damian: "Yeah, I'm tuned into your frequency." Jessica: "Ha ha ha ha." If that semi-coherent flirtation was too deep for you, try this searing self-analysis: "I'm a personality, not a sexuality," says Nathan Morris, a red-faced 25-year-old, notable for his complex facial hair, horn-rimmed yellow-tinted sunglasses, and for short dyed hair which has been painstakingly sculpted into a kind of receding Johnny Rotten spiked look. DEATH AND DANCING FIVE minutes later, the Big Brother household lurches into a soul-searching group discussion where Peter Corbett bares his soul and brings the housemates to tears as he describes watching the death of his parents. Katrina Miani, 21, breaks down completely and runs away, sobbing, as she confronts the memory of her grandmother's death - four years ago. Shortly afterwards, the housemates bounce back with a spontaneous fancy dress party. Cowboy outfits and mini-skirts inexplicably emerge and everyone is soon dancing and skipping around, having a very loud time. Later that night, the girls tongue-kiss. On Friday, the gang strip down to shower together. Just your typical Aussie flat experience, right? Maybe, if you're living on the Gold Coast with 11 moronic flatmates. The second series of UK Big Brother was saved by sexual tension. Will Helen and Paul bonk? asked the British press almost every day for a month. The pair never did sleep together, but ratings remained phenomenally high while there was a chance of something happening. If the Australian Big Brother producers are hoping for similar public interest, maybe they should slip a note under the Big Brother door and tell the housemates they'd better stop showing off - before there's nothing left to reveal. |