Sunday, September 21, 2003, 7:36pm
Woah.
I opened the dictionary we have, and it opened to 'P". The first word I looked at was
PEDERASTY/PAEDERASTY
(n) sexual relations between a man and a boy.
WEIIIIIIRRRRDDDD....
***
No school tomorrow.
Report Card Day though..
I might be flunking CLE.
HELLO??
I MUST BE STUPID TO FAIL CLE????
Actually no. I find it utterly useless, therefor I do not pay attention the the damn class.
I don't take it seriously. And I don't care if I fail.
It's so strange. I don't feel disappointment or anger when I fail. I just shrug it off because honestly, I think, what we're learning in CLE is more useless to me than ..oh I don't know. Anything.
The important stuff, maybe we could take up in college.
Stuff to argue about, stuff to defend our faith. But...well I don't see the sense in this. Nothing is unravelling.
It's not helping my faith, why should I?
***
Julienne and I made a deal.
She wants to dress me up.
If I think that the clothes she brings for me are ok, I will wear them.
Well, that's it, actually. Hahaha.
And if she makes me wear spags, I will wear a long sleeved unbuttoned white polo over it.
Hahaha...that might actually give her a lot of space to toy with my outfit. That's probably not a good idea...
Hahaha oh well.
I don't know what I get out of it though.
??????
***
HAhaha I'm such a loser.
Issa!! I need your support. Sort of..
Well, thanks for bein' there when I need ya.
I think I can kill myself now.
murmur..ugly...murmur...stupid..murmur...damned...murmur..freak...I am....
***
Heeere we aaaaaare it's not a ..........peeeerfect wooorld.
***
Gad!
My mum is so overreacting! She's so maarte, I swear! She wants me to go with her to AC to get my card. She doesn't need me there! WTF???
I won't be back in time for the game!
GAD.
I really don't understand her. She doesn't make sense. And anyway, when I ask her WHY, she says she just wants me there.
I need a valid reason! I deserve a valid reason. It's my right to a valid reason!! She's totally making me a blind-deaf follower.
She's stunting my mental growth! She's not allowing me to think!
Parents may be the most INCONSIDERATE and the WEIRDEST people on the planet. They're so...finicky?
First, they teach us that we should think for ourselves, that we should reason out, that we should use our minds. They say that we should know what to follow, and what not to follow. They say that we shouldn't be blindly doing what people tell us to do.
Then they make us do stuff and they don't even give us a good reason. They think that just because they're our parents, BECAUSE is good enough.
HELLO??!?!?
***
GARDUSHDUSH.
***
I desperately need to speak with my mother.
***
Hahaha I'm such a damn LOSER!!
Loveless, lifeless dork.
The people who like me, I don't like, and the people I like don't like me.
What is wrong with me?? Hahahah
***
Damn...
this is just dragging on forever.
What the HECK do I see in him?
Hahah I can't even tell the difference between infatuation and like. Hmm..
Infatuation (n) - an intense but usually foolish love, often short-lived.
Well..this isn't short. And I am in no way in love with the guy...
Like (v) - to be fond of.
FOND OF?? I am not FOND of him. It's much deeper than that!
*Sigh* If only it were that easy, that a dictionary could tell us all about it. Unfortunately, most feelings are quite complicated.
Whether we realize it or not.
***
Darn him.
***
Hoy hoy hoy hoy.
I've got nothing of substance to write anymore.
I am not completely devoid of feelings anymore.
But then, what I feel at the moment is overused, normal, nothing special, already felt many times before.
Nothing intense either.
***
I think I'll start another story. This time, on of complete nonsense. No storyline. Everything out of the blue. Everything extraordinary.
***
Hmm...Wow, Miko, you made me think!!
My favorite movie of all time?
Bebe's Kids!!!
This was like...before the time of VCDs and DVDs. Even before VHS!!
Betamax time, man!
The best ever, for me.(Second fave movie would be Princess Mononoke.)
Non-animated though?
Maybe Amelie. Or The Debut. Both art films, both with substance and ideals. Idealistic...?
For no-brainers though, maybe Clueless. Hahaha!!
Or maybe Vanilla Sky.
Freaks me out a bit though. Some scenes drag along a bit.
But otherwise, it's really good.
***
OHMYGOSH THAT'S SO SWEET!
Hahah..
some guys kasi...I don't think they're really sensitive loving guys.
But when I get to know them better, the stuff they did for their exes? Ang sweet, man. Just loving that person a lot, admitting it until now, that's just sweet.
It's like a side uncovered that makes me think of them in a whole new light.
Gosh, I want someone to think of me that way. Hahaha.
I'm too boyish! Hehehe.
***
GAAAHHH...
hahhaa
this is so not me!
When did I ever start to want a special someone in my life? When did I start becoming so mushy?
*looks back in life's timeline*
Hmm...
***
I have totally lost it.
***
FRIENDSTER!! Hhahaha aliw.
.
O
kay
tagal
kitang
mamahalin..