Thursday, September 11, 2003
Alright! The season is starting this Saturday.
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Agh.
***
This really sucks.
What am I supposed to do?
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I seriously thought I was over him. But then when I see him, or talk to him, it just rushes all back.
It's so stupid. I mean, I don't think about him that often anymore, but when I do...I crumble.
***
I really don't want this!
I can't figure a way out of this. Now that I look at the situation I'm in, my only big problems are guys.
How do I tell one I don't like him, and tell another...
Well...
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I'm just feeling so lost, so confused. Have you noticed that my blogs are getting less and less interesting?
I don't have time anymore, and I'm actually grounded from the pc but my dad isn't home, so...
Can I just take a leave off school for a week? To get back in touch with nature. Hahahah!
I just need to think, think a lot.
***
How do I tell him that I like him? Am I supposed to tell him at all? And what if he doesn't feel the same way? I'd be crushed.
I'm wasting my time thinking of him, wasting my time thinking up things I just hope could be
But that's all it is, I'm imagining things but it'll never happen.
I can't tell him, because that's stupid. Because I still don't know how I feel, but I know it's good. I know there's something I like about him.
***
Then, how am I supposed to tell this other person that I DON'T like him that way? He's a great friend, but...
My friends say I'm lucky I've even got someone to turn away. I don't think of it that way. It's too hard to tell someone that you don't like him, and it's just plain confusing.
It'd hurt too much to tell it to his face, but then, how do you drop subtle hints if the opportunity never arises?
***
I just want to be the way I was before, a guy-less, innocent (hehe) smart, carefree little girl.
***
"Maybe it was just me and my fertile imagination"
I don't know. It IS my imagination. After all, I don't know if he likes me or not. No hints. Well, in my head, there are.
But I realize that there really are none, and it's just me again.
***
This really, really hurts, and I feel as if no one cares.
It's like, I'm working and everyone around me is takin a long break. Away from me.
***
May panahon para maging hari, may panahon para madapa, dahil ang buhay natin ay sadyang ganyan.
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Ano pa ba dapat na gawin ko, upang malaman mo ang nadarama ko. Upang iyong mapagbigyan pansin aking paghahanap at pagtingin sa iyo.
***
Owch.
Wasted time and tears on nothing. Wasted thoughts on something that will never happen. Wasted emotions on a guy who might never like me back. Who may in fact, hate me. Who just might not even think of me at all.
.
Over
you.
I'm
never
over,
over
you.