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Monday, September 8, 2003, 8:49pm

Is there something wrong with the way I speak? Do you even see me when I pass you on the street? I close my eyes and let it be, because I just can't see why you love to hate me.

***

Agh. Hahaha I had typed up something earlier, around 6:40, but I left it UNSAVED to go to the grocery for a few minutes. When I got back, however, my brother had arrived and was using this computer. Unfortunately, he hadn't saved it.And he was blaming it all on me. I admit, it was stupid of me to leave it like that, but it was only because I wasn't expecting my brother to be home so early.

But then, it's partly his fault too, right? Isn't it just common sense to save something when no one is around? I mean, if you chanced upon your pc, and it was recently used by someone who is currently in the shower, wouldn't you save it? And then tell the person after.

Wait, that was malabo. Hahahha.

***

Issa, this guy is not worth it. If he hadn't realized that you would be a great catch, he's stupid. He's not even worth your plotting time. Revenge on him and the girl may be empowering, but it's just temporary. What else would you benefit from it?

He's crazy then, and I bet there are tons of guys out there to fall for you.

I especially warn you against doing that, because if that's your plan, well, I highly doubt that you'll break his heart.

Most likely, you'd fall for him all over again in the process. Because seriously, he's a great guy, just a bit dense, blind and stupid.

***

Sampip fits so much. So much so much so much. I just don't know though if the guy hates me. I hope not.

***

Wag mo na sana akong pahirapan pa. Kung ayaw mo sakin ay sabihin mo lang. Huwag mo na sana akong ipaasa sa wala, oo na, mahal na kung mahal kita.

***

Hahaha, scratch that lesbian idea. Some guys are just too appealing.

***

Why the heck??

Why is it so hard to forget about him?

My crushes usually just fade away. I've got tons, and they are replaced as quickly as they come.

But then why does this one stick?

Oh...I just realized, then. The ones that you gradually come to realize are sweet, generous and caring are the ones hardest to shake from your mind.

It doesn't help either if the person concerned is tall, dark and handsome.

I need help, then? This is only...well, he's only the second serious crush I've had in my lifetime. I should be good at it, I've been having crushes since I was in prep.

On this guy that was my classmate. Now he's my best friend's friend, studies in ateneo, and he's not cute anymore. Hahah.

***

Kase, tama yung sinabi ng ka-chat mo. Sinasabi mo na wala syang kwenta, pero mahal mo. Sobra.

(this is copyright, I suppose, by someone I don't know. It's from a story that my friend gave to me, that another friend gave to her, and that friend got it from the person who wrote it. A female Atenean. Very cool, and I simply cannot take credit for such a wonderful piece of work.)

***

I can do a trick with a beer bottle.

No, I can't down a whole bottle in 10 seconds. I don't drink. Hahah.

But I can do this one bartender trick thingy where you turn the bottle except I can only do it over grass in case the bottle falls.

***

And it sucks to face the truth that i ain't got no reasons too Whenever asked the simple question why i feel the way i do And i know it's stupid on my part to say that i love you Even though i know you hate me And you don't know why you do..

***

I just wish he wasn't so dense, and/or shy. This really, really sucks. If you think I'm talking about you, THINK AGAIN. You're wrong.

This guy is someone else completely. Hopefully a figment of my imagination, although my imagination must be very vivid to remember certain events.

Met him early summer, around right after school ended.

So, unless I met you early summer, IT'S NOT YOU.

Hahahah I'm such a weirdo. I'm just saying it because...I suppose I don't want him to know. So, I won't tell you if the above are fibs or not. Hahahah.

***

What the--? Where did this come from? All of a sudden, I have a tendency to say things that end in '-ing's WITHOUT the 'g'. (e.g. thinking=thinkin') And I'm also saying (sayin?!?) stuff like 'aight' or 'aryt' instead of 'alright'. And I keep saying 'dude' (hahah the real meaning is just plain disgusting) and 'man' and...hahah. It's just amusing.

I think I'm getting it from my sister.