Untitled Document

Wednesday, September 3, 2003, 7:20pm

There's gotta be more to life, than chasing round every temporary high to satisfy me.

***

Exam week. It was history and Filipino today. I studied tons yesterday. I seriously was trying to be disciplined. But it's just not in me.

It's Literature and Grammar tomorrow, but I hardly studied.

I'm so going to cram during the 30 minutes of study period tomorrow. Hah.

I'm going to be dead, dead, dead.

I'm SUCH a slacker!! Wahahhah!

***

My brother is being such an ass! He borrowed "The Debut", which is a Filipino American art film. It has Dante Basco in it, who played Ruffio in Hook. He looks the same.

He won't let me borrow it cos daw it's my exam week. As if!!

Like he's a perfect angel when it's his exams? *raise eyebrow*

***

I'm making a story, but so far it's only one chapter. It's a stupid story. I'm thinking of abandoning it, to start a new one.

***

I think I'm going insane. Seriously. Just when I'm getting over this guy, his name pops up pretty darn often. It just SUCKS, I'm telling you. I try to ignore it like hell, but I can't help but notice it, and...hahaha. It may be a sign!!

Just kidding. I don't believe in those stuff.

But still, you know, it's such a coincidence.

***

Everytime I see you falling I, get down on my knees and pray, waiting for that final moment, to say the words that I can't say.

***

This...is just the longest streak of happy-ish days I've had in memory.

I feel so light, and together, and...you know? It's like the absence of guys in my mind makes everything so easy. Well, except for academics, which is always a prblem.

Maybe that thing DOES work. That...thing, that desk. The cozy corner of my bed and study table. Soon I'll be catching myself lighting tea candles and lighting incense. Hah!

Maybe it's the short days. The half-days, since it's exam week. And I have so much time to just lay back and relax or study in a comfortable environment.

I sort of miss A.A All that nature. I haven't seen those in school. I need a walk. This saturday, I'm going to wake up at five in the morning and take a walk at the Ateneo. I'll catch the sunrise. I'll sit around and breathe the dewy morning air.

***

You cut your hand, and now you're freaking. Another friend becomes a foe.

***

Agh!! I reread my entries yesterday, and hahaha, it really really sucked. I mean, they were OK, but I just couldn't believe myself. I couldn't believe that I actually wrote the TRUTH. The bare, deep truth anyway. It's kidnn of hard for me to lie, but when I really need to, I can. The only problem is that I end up feeling so guilty afterwards, unless it got me out of waist-deep trouble.

***

Sign the guestbook!

***

How long will I be waiting? Until the end of time. I don't know why I'm still waiting, I can't make you mine.

***

Mahal kita, sobrang mahal kita, wala na kong pwedeng sabihin pang iba, kundi sorry talaga, di ko sinasadya, talagang sobrang mahal kita, huwag kang mawawala, sorry na.