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Friday, August 15, 2003, 9:59 pm

Today was not a good day. Well, not so much. This morning I woke up at 7:30 because I had a soccer clinic to get to. Then, I panicked because I found out the driver wasn't home, he was brining my brother to school, and I had to leave in thirty minutes.

What a mistake. When I got back to my room to start getting ready, I realized it was a Friday, no school, and no soccer clinic. And I hate waking up earlier than ten in the morning.

I couldn't get back to sleep so I just watched tv. Soon, of course, I got bored and started thinking. And on lonely, boring days, thinking too much is bad. I thought about my crush, my friends, and what I could do for the rest of the day.

Thinking about all that stuff, I got really lonely. And y'know those things, when your heart...well, something happens to your heart, and...it sucks. When it's like a stab of pain, and it slowly ebbs away, but that small shock can send tears to your eyes. Well, that happened to me. Except it didn't really hurt, it was just there...it made me teary eyed anyway.

Thank God, my best friend called and saved me. She invited me to come over to her new house, where she just moved. Thankfully, we had movies to watch, stuff to eat and things to talk about at her house. She was feeling all senti and listening to sappy songs. No, I couldn't relate because I was never in love. I mean...maybe I am, maybe I was, but I'm never sure. I was never so sure of love, and I could never say that I've actually loved someone enough to cry over. Except for one guy, and he's moved to the states already. Still, I wasn't so sure about that. Maybe I was just wanted to feel something, so I thought I was in love.

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I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else.

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Blah. Blah, blah, blah. Right now I am so, so...weird.

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I was thinking kanina, that...about...stuff. I thought about how I'm so stupid, so childish, so lost in fantasy that when I'm jolted back to reality it hurts so much. I mean, I just realized that nothing really happens to me. What I would think is a connection to someone I lke, a bond that can start something between us, just turns out to be a figment of my imagination. Things that I wish so hard for that I end up mistaking small, casual things to be something big and significant. Well, stupid me.

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Hahha, this is so unlike me. I hardly know myself anymore, and...hahah.

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Am reading After Eden again. So, so sad. I cry everytime I read it, seriously. Hahah. It's such a sweet book. It's intense. You should read it. Especially the part where they fight and scream at each other, remembering how they confessed their love for each other at first. So, so sad. Love that book. Arnold Arre is a great comic book artist. He has great stories, and he's a helluv an artist.

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Oh, type = rand (200,99) in your a new microsoft word document. Press enter and wait a while. Aliw.

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Masakit maging kaibigan ng taong mahal mo. Hindi mo alam kung saan ka lulugar, di ka dapat umasa, o di kaya, mainis sa kanya. Bakit, anong karapatan mo? Kaibigan ka lang, diba?