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9:35 PM, August 12, 2003.

Hahahah.

Was absent from school today. I felt sick in the morning, but I miraculously recovered by noon.

Was watching tv all day until my brother came home, and brought...MY PHONE.

Finally, what I had been waiting for. After a week without it, I was desperate.

My phone had been stolen a week ago, when I was at Greenbelt 3. Around 10:00 am, and the mall hadn't even opened yet. Stupid me, I stuck my cellphone into my jacket pocket and when I felt for it a little while later, POOF. It was gone. Like a magic act. Except it wasn't very entertaining.

Walking back to the hotel where I slept in, my friend was accompanying me, and she claimed I was in a daze and she had to pull me back THRICE from oncoming traffic or else I would've been roadkill. Thanks Mady. Me, I don't really remember.

***

Argh, stupid WYSIWIG Dreamweaver. I used CSS in the code but it doesn't show up in the program. It works though. Now I'm finding it sooo hard to see what I'm typing right now. Bleargh.

***

Just waiting for my sister to finish using the laptop so I can check my email. And chat. I am practically addicted to chatting. It's fun, and cheaper than texting.

***

So very bored. So many thoughts tumbling in my mind. Er, well, not really. More like one thought: I AM SO BURIED IN DEBT AND I AM GOING TO DIE. There goes all my christmas money. It's going to be used to pay back all the darn debts. Stupid, stupid me. I think I'll make it my new year's resolution not to put myself in HUGE, GIGANTIC quicksand pool of debts. AND take care of my phone.

Er, YEAH RIGHT.

***

I am so confused.

Should I, shouldn't I? Shoutld I? Or I should not? Should I not? HUH!?

A guy. Guys make life so confusing. Well, not just any guys. Nice, handsome, quirky, funny, interesting guys you find attractive just SUCK. (Wait, that's a paradox. Is it?)

They make life SO complicated. Other males, I don't really mind, I, for one, have two guy best friends. Mind you, they really are just friends. Contrary to what people say, not all guy-girl best friends end up together. There is no way in HELL I am going to end up with my best friend. I mean, I'm not saying he's rotten or anything. But our relationshiip is more...buddy-buddy, sibling-like. So it would sorta be like incest. YUCK.

But...I'm way off track.

This...guy...frustrates me. In a way he doesn't mean to, I'm sure. Because he has no idea I have a crush on him. And it's...unbearable not telling him. Sort of. Because I want him to know, at the same time I don't, because...it might backfire and his response might not be what I want.

Er..I could do it, then again. I did it before, and the response was...favorable. Except strangely enough I ended up finding the guy really irritating. I don't know why. Maybe the idea of a relationship anywhere TOUCHING more than friends scared me. And maybe it still does. But then the guy is my close friend now. Sort of...we can talk a lot. We're friends. And it's not awkward, so I suppose my decision of not pursuing anything kinda worked.

***

Damn. All the phone lines are dead. THIS MEANS I CAN'T CHAT! And my crush is online. Ehehehe. Stupid dial-up.