SEVEN
DEGREES OF BLONDNESS
ONE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the
phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know,
that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said
"I don't know; some woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear."
TWO
Two blondes are walking down the street.
One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up.
She opens it, looks in the mirror and says,
"Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says,
"Here, let me
see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
THREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on
her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his
apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms
of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take
out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief.
She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend
yells, "No, honey, don't do it. "The blonde replies,
"Shut up,you're next!"
FOUR
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of
state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I
know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the
capital of
FIVE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told
her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
SIX
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific
accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry
herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was
applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like
an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant.
"Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the
blonde chirped. "Well, how in the world did this
happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde
began. "I was driving along this road when from
out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I
swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I
swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and
there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was
....""Uh,
ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on
this
road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging
back and forth."
SEVEN
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked
to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She
telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the
channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was
the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached
the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran
out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and
his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I
come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call
the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman