| Fun things to do when driving: 1. Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit. 2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to head bang. 3. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors. 4. Write the words, "HELP ME!" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better. 5. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passengers side, when driving alone. 6. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll/doll/barbie out the window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance. 7. Pass cars, then drive very slowly. 8. Honk frequently without motivation. 9. Wave at people often, then if they wave back, offer an angry look and an obscene gesture. 10. Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look. 11. Restart your car at every stop light. 12. Hang numerous car fresheners in the rear view mirror. Stroke them lovingly. 13. Lob burning things in the window of smokers who throw their butts out the window. 14. Keep at least five cats in the car. 15. Root and cheer for fire trucks. 16. Stop and collect road kill. 17. Stop and pray over road kill. 18. Throw Spam. 19. Get in the fast lane and gradually slow down to a stop. 20. Let pedestrians know who's boss. |
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