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| *Favorites* |
| Jimmy: Hey, Mike! How's the pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special. Mike: To tell the truth, I'm really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird. Jimmy: What?! Let me get this straight.... You bought a fish because you thought you could teach him to sing like a bird? Mike: Well, yeah. After all you know, he is a parrot fish. Jimmy: That's what YOU think. It just so happens this fish CAN sing. The only thing is, he's terribly off-key and he's driving me crazy. Do you know hard it is to TUNA FISH? ********************************************** On the first day of school, a teacher asks her class, "Who here is a Yankees fan?" Every student knew that she loved the Mets, so they replied by rasing their hands, except for one little girl, Ruthie. The teacher asked, "Who do you like, little girl?" Ruthie replied, "I'm a Mets fan and I hate the Yankees. The teacher asked why and Ruthie told her that her parents were Mets fans, so she was too. The teacher said to the class, "So, if Ruthie's parents were idiots, what would that make her?" Ruthie chimed in, "A Yankees fan!" ********************************************** "Oh, NO!" he gasped as he surveyed the disaster before him. Never in his 40 years of life had he seen anything like it. How anyone could have survived, he did not know. He could only hope that somewhere amid the overwhelming destruction he would find his 16-year-old son. Only the slim hope of finding Danny kept him from turning and fleeing the scene. He took a deep breath a proceeded. Walking was virtually impossible with so many things strewn across his path. He moved ahead slowly. "Danny! Danny!" he screamed. He tripped and almost fell several times. He heard someone or something move. At least he thought he did. Perhaps he was just hoping he did. He shook his head and felt his gut tighten. He couldn't understand how this could have happened. There was some light but not enough to see very much. Something cold and wet brushed his hand. He jerked it away. In desperation, he took another big step, then cried out, "Danny!" From a nearby pile of unidentified material, he heard his son. "Yes, Dad," he said, in a voice so weak it could harldy be heard. "It's time to get ready for school," the man sighed, "and, for heaven's sake, clean up this room. ********************************************** The rural doctor came out to the farm to check on the farmer's wife. Upon arriving, the doctor felt thirsty. He walked over to the well to bring up some cool water, but slipped and fell in. The moral is that a doctor should take care of the sick and leave the well alone. ********************************************** |
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