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If I Only Had a Five
-to the tune of "If I Only Had a Brain", sung by
the Scarecrow, in The Wizard of Oz.

I could while away the hour
Playin' sabotage with power
and be glad to be alive
My opponent's base would beckon
I could scout it with my recon
If I only had a five.

I could fend off every stranger
And I wouldn't be in danger
I would certainly survive
With the plans I'd be makin'
My whole spirit would awaken
If I only had a five.

Oh I could tell you why
The sab is near the four
I could make some moves I've never made before
And then I'd think, and make some more.

I would not be just a wastin'
As my generals cop a pastin'
and for victory I'd strive
I would laugh and I'd be grinnin'
'Cause for sure I'd be a winnin'
If I only had a five.
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And then I saw her base...

I thought sab was
Just a game for teenagers
Meant for someone young
But not for me
Sab was out to get to me
That's the way it seems
Different setups haunted
All my dreams

And then I saw her base
Thanks to my recon
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I'm in luck
And don't I know it
I couldn't blow it
If I tried

I thought sab was
More or less a game of chance
But the more I play the more
I see, oh yeah
What's the use in guessing
All you get is pain
When I move in blindly
I get slain

And then I saw her base
It cost me my recon
Now it's a race
I'm one move ahead
I'm in love
Sab is fantastic
Whoops I was spastic
Now I'm dead.
Baseland
-to the tune of "Graceland" by Paul Simon

The game of sabotage was calling
Like the ocean calls the shore
I am following my footsteps
Down the hallway
To the computer room once more
I'm going to baseland, baseland
Right here at IYT
I'm going to baseland
Good boys and daddies with families
And we are going to baseland

My daring opponent is very bold
He is a master at sabotage
But I've reason to believe
My one will be received
In baseland

He comes back to tell me I'm gone
As if I didn't know that
As if I didn't know that I'm dead
As if I'd never noticed
The way he crushed my men to oblivion

And he said losing sab
Is like a window in your heart
Everybody sees you're blown apart
Everybody sees the wind blow

And my sabotage companions
Are very good opponents
I'm looking at tough positions
But I've reason to believe
My one will be received
In baseland

There is a girl in New South Wales
Who calls herself the blue gum trees
And sometimes when I'm smelling victory
So sweet as mother nature I say
Oh so this is what she means
She means we're breezing into baseland

And I see losing sab
Is like a window in your heart
Everybody sees you're blown apart
Everbody feels the wind blow
In baseland, in baseland
I'm going to baseland
For reasons I cannot explain
There's some part of me wants to see baseland

And I may be obliged to defend
Every bomb, every ending
Or maybe there's no obligations now
Maybe I've got a reason to believe
My one will be received
In baseland.
Fifty Ways to Win at Sabotage
(with thanks to Paul Simon)

The problem is all inside your head, she said to me
Sabotage is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help you in your quest for victory
There must be fifty ways to win at sabotage

She said there are so many methods to include
And even if my meaning is mutated by your mood
I'll repeat myself, at the risk of being rude
There must be fifty ways to win at sabotage,
fifty ways to win at sabotage:

Just trade off the one, son,
make a good plan, Stan
Move up the four,Thor,
just listen to me
Hit 'em with your five, Clive,
backed up by your sab, stab
Then knock off the three, see,
and get yourself free.

Get rid of his two, Lou,
scout'em with your rec, Shrek
Gotta find out his base, Ace,
watchout for the mine
If your still in a pinch, Hinch,
try to win on time, slime
Never say die, Guy,
and you'll be just fine.

I said tell me the truth, Ruth,
I need to know more, I emplore
There's so much to know, now,
where do I start
I should just stick to chess, I guess,
My head's in a mess, I confess
I can't even think or blink,
I'm falling apart...

She said it's oh so sad to see you go insane
I figure we can find a way to waken up your brain
I said thankyou, but would you please explain
about the fifty ways?

She said why don't we just enjoy a game tonight
And maybe by the middle you might feel for the fight
And when she wiped me, I realized she probably was right...
There must be fifty ways to win at sabotage,
fifty ways to win at sabotage...

Just show him who's Bosse, Chaos
Wipe him off of the board, Dark Lord
Send him over the hill, Bill,
just listen to me
Leave him in the pit, Amit
Take a good chance, Sir Lance
Take over the room, Creeping Doom
and taste victory.
Sabotage Holiday
(thx to 10cc)

I was sittin' on my favourite seat
Concentratin' on playin' right
A question mark came up to me
And I looked round in a state of fright
I saw four pieces one mad
Another from the gutter
They looked me up and down a bit
And turned to each other

I say
I don't like sabotage, oh no
I love it
I don't like sabotage, no no
I love it
Don't you walk thru my space
You got to show some respect
Don't you walk thru my space
'Cause you ain't found me out yet

Well he looked down at my question mark
He said I'll take you right out now
I said You've got to be jokin' man
I've got back up from me brothers
He said I like it I want it
I'll take it off your hands
And you'll be sorry you crossed me
You'd better understand that you're alone
A long way from home

And I say
I don't like Open Rush, no no
I love it
I don't like Mini Rush, oh no
I love it
Don't you cramp up me style
Don't you stomp on me men
Don't you walk thru my space
'Cause you ain't found me out yet

I hurried back to the fourth rank
Thinkin' who is this brother
I heard a dark voice beside me say
Would you like someone harder
He said I've got it you want it
My movement is the best
And if you try me you'll find out
And wallow in a Sabotage Holiday

And I say
Don't like Rush Sabotage, oh no
I love it
I don't like Mini, oh no
I love it, oh yea
Don't you walk thru my space
You got to show some respect
Don't you walk thru my space
'Cause you ain't found me out yet

I don't like Sabotage
I love it (Sabotage Holiday)
I don't like Mini Rush
I love it (Sabotage Holiday)
I don't like Open Rush
I love it (Sabotage Holiday)
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