Parvus Saltatus
Written for Taira.
Remus was shy before he knew Sirius, James, and Peter. After he knew them, he was still soft-spoken and quiet, but he wasn't afraid of people any longer. He decided it was because the feeling of having friends made him realise people could like him. That had seemed strange at first.
But Sirius, James, and Peter were definitely friends.
Slowly, however, Remus began to notice that he always wanted to be paired up with Sirius in classes. He liked to work with Sirius more. After classes, they did schoolwork together (actually, Remus did schoolwork and Sirius procrastinated and distracted him). Remus was also highly embarrassed to realise how much he liked it when Sirius leaned over his shoulder to look at something he was pointing out. It happened oddly often. Or he would point to a book he was not quite tall enough to reach on a library bookshelf, and Sirius would stand beside him and stretch his whole body out to get the book down. Or he would be reading in bed and Sirius would lean over him to open or look out the window. He always ended up colouring deeply and hiding his face in whatever was closest--book, homework, or The Daily Prophet, which he had been receiving regularly since halfway through third year.
Sometimes he had dreams about him and Sirius. That, too, was embarrassing.
Then, one morning, he woke early after another of the dreams. He sat up in bed feeling utterly wretched. When he checked, the clock on his bedside table read 5:00 AM. Remus groaned.
"Shhh!" Someone prodded his shoulder hard.
"What?" He looked over in surprise. Sirius was standing with his back against the wall by Remus' bed.
"D'you want to wake everyone up?"
"'Sorry."
Sirius smiled. "You should be. Move over." He prodded Remus again and sat on the bed beside him, knees drawn up. Remus noticed that Sirius had a nice, clean smell.
"Why're you up?"
"Couldn't sleep." Sirius laughed softly. "I have bad dreams."
"I hate nightmares," said Remus sympathetically.
"Not nightmares. Bad dreams."
"Oh. Well, that's just as bad, isn't it? It makes it miserable. You can't sleep and then you're exhausted, and if you do fall asleep, then you dream, and--well, it's awful. Bad dreams are worse than nightmares because nightmares are just frightening but when you wake up, well, you're all right, but bad dreams make you hot and sort of sticky and that's nasty. I just had one, too." Remus was half-aware he was babbling, but he couldn't stop talking with Sirius sitting right next to him.
Sirius was looking at him, and--Remus realised--trying not to laugh. "You can be so funny, did you know that?" Then Sirius slid his hand into Remus' hair and kissed him.
"Funny?" Remus gasped, when Sirius finished the kiss and sat back, grinning a little. "I was trying to be--"
"Sympathetic and understanding and something, I know. But you're not, Remus; you're funny. It's wonderful."
"You're horrid."
"You don't think so."
Sirius kissed him again, and this time Remus kissed back. It was agreeable with the embarrassingly pleasant feeling he was used to having when Sirius was touching him or getting too close.
"That was nice," said Sirius, really laughing.
"You smell nice," said Remus at the same time. He was not afraid to admit that now.
"I do?" Sirius asked.
"Yes," said Remus breathlessly.
"Thanks."
Again, they were kissing one another, in the odd, bluish-white light of early morning. Remus had been a little cold when he'd first woken up, but he wasn't now.
Suddenly they heard James' bleary voice demanding, "What are you two doing? What time is it?"
"Five-ten," Remus informed him blithely.
"Five-ten?" James' voice went very loud. "Bloody hell, go back to sleep."
"You ought to be up by now anyway," said Sirius. "It's shameful you're still in bed."
"Shut up!" James buried his face in his pillow.
Remus felt far too ecstatic to ever go to sleep, and he found it incomprehensible that James could be tired. He wanted to touch Sirius' hair and see what it really felt like to have his fingers in it, and he wanted Sirius to kiss him again.
"Sirius--"
"Ignore him. It's better anyway." Sirius raked his fingers through his hair and Remus was envious of them. "Merlin knows how we'd explain. Can you imagine? 'Oh, James, we're sorry to keep you up, but we're having a mad snugglefest here in bed'," said Sirius, in a hideous falsetto.
"Oh, be quiet," said Remus, and kissed him. He was delighted to realise it was just as good when he began kisses as when Sirius did.
"'Oh, James, goodness gracious, we're so sorry to wake you up'," Sirius continued between kisses. "'It's a dreadful shame! But the wild passion overtook us and we simply had to answer to its bestial call!'"
"Would you two shut up?" James roared, raising his head from the pillow.
"'Sorry!" Sirius cried, still in falsetto.
"What in hell are you doing? What's wrong with your voice?" James actually sat up this time.
"Nothing," Remus said.
"Good. Then shut the bloody hell up and let me get some sleep. Go down to the common room if you want to scream." James burrowed back under the covers.
"Yes, sah!"
Sirius looked from Remus to the sleeping lump of James, his lips twitching slightly. "Well. I suppose we'd better go down to the common room, hadn't we, if the almighty James says so?"
"Right."
Casually, Sirius folded his hands behind his head and tilted his chin up. "You know, my dream was about--Oh, about something or other. About you, I suppose."
"Oh," said Remus. "So was mine."
Sirius started for the door. "Well, then. Come on. James'll be up again in a minute, and who knows what he'll do then."
Remus followed him down the stairs happily.
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