Two Fools
Written for Lillie.
Fools are drawn to one another.
Antonio is a fool, a big, bearded man who captains a ship, in love with a slip of a boy who is married to a beautiful fine lady. Andrew is a fool, too, a gawky, poor, stupid fellow who makes one want to laugh and pity. Antonio has no right to love anybody, and nobody has any right to love Andrew.
They meet outside the walls of Olivia's house, both running away--Antonio will go back to sea, to hide in the waves and storms and far-awayness; Andrew will go back to his parents' house, with his bird in its cage, to pretend he was never humiliated.
They look at one another for a moment. Andrew starts to talk, sadly, using all the wrong words, about Olivia and how fair she was, but there's something about the way he says it that tells he's more unhappy about not being loved than about not being loved by her. Antonio joins in, with all the right words, to tell him how dear Sebastian is, and with everything he says, it's clear that he's agonised because he is not even hated by Sebastian rather than that he is not loved.
Andrew is a fool. He turns his foolish golden head to one side, looks at Antonio, and holds out a hand. They could have a drink together, he says. It is the wrong thing to say. It isn't wise and it doesn't solve anything. Antonio pauses.
There is the gentlest kind of sympathy in Andrew's foolish eyes.
So the two fools go to turn themselves into madmen, to drown themselves, and the next day Andrew follows Antonio down to the dock.
Where are you going? is what Antonio asks him, when he suddenly realises that's not right.
With you, is what Andrew says, smiling a little in his foolish way, the bird in its cage hanging over his shoulder. Antonio reaches out to him. Then, perhaps, Andrew can see the saddest kind of affection in Antonio's foolish eyes. He comes on board the ship, shaking as it rocks in the water.
Fools are drawn to one another. Fools cannot leave one another.
Perhaps it is because they are the only ones who really know how to take care of each other.
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