Reason
When Rodya is ill, Razumihin comes every day, and drags Zossimov along as well. God forbid Rodya should die. God forbid dear Rodya should leave him.
Though Rodya doesn't know it. But there's something Razumihin loves about Rodya's dark eyes, and something that hurts him terribly when Rodya is angry. It's unfair, he thinks. Damn Rodya. What right has the little ingrate, the queer, reasonless boy, to make him unhappy and ecstatic at the same time? Why should he care so terribly much if Rodya lives? Any friend is brokenhearted to lose a friend; why does he feel it would be doubly so, three times so, for him?
He sits and watches Rodya while he's ill, grumbling and cursing and worrying. He paces; he mutters prayers that he feels foolish making; he brushes back Rodya's damp hair; he sits in the one chair and just watches, feeling more helpless than anyone ever has.
Dounia saves him. Dounia is like her brother, but loving her makes so much more sense that it's painful. He loves Dounia, and he loves Rodya, and he makes the right choice.
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Back to Chapter Four.