=sc_aa3_1
RETYPE INPUT OF MS. AA3 , PART I (PAGES 1--13)
   
NOTES WILL BE DEEP6'D TO =SCSAAA31
PART II, PAGES 14--38, WILL BE INPUT AS =SC_AA3_2

---------------------

HEADER.  TAPE 9, SAN FRANCISCO, SUMMER 1973, THURSDAY

The seems to be one in a series of RSC talks hosted by Rabbi
Leibowitz.   


This cluster of transcripts includes Ms. AA7, AA6, AA5 , AA4, AA3,
AA2
At some point the party moves to Jerusalem, and that's Ms. AA1

Ms. AA7 is December 1974.  All the rest of this cluster is Summer
1973.

The transcriber for all these Ms., except maybe AA1, is the usual
one, from the handwriting
[ this transcriber has neat handwriting, writes on a lined pad,
makes errors in Hebrew script, and ofen spells 'level' as 'leval'
]
Don't know who.  Maybe Illana Rappaport (Schachter) but that's
just a guess.

No further Provenance Info on Manuscript.

This manuscript is listed in my inventory of the Witt collection.
(=inv0494a + =inv0494b)
Those invdocs are included in =in94964.zip, which is on my
Website, www.geocities.com/sa73122a , /sa73122 , /sa73122c

------------------

Here is my listing of these mss.:

From =inv0494a
INVENTORY OF R. SHLOMO MATERIALS, Rev. 4/25/94

SET AA:  Original handwritten Ms. in 3-Ring binder, consecutive

         6/90:  Returned from ZF to HS, both Meor Modi'in.

AA1  4 -- Orig -- Arthurs Tape 1 Side 1 & 2 Israel Summer 1973
AA2  36   Orig    Tape 2 Side 1 Jerusalem Summer 1972 (?-qv ms.)
AA3  38   Orig    Tape 9 San Francisco Summer 1973 Thursday
AA4  23   Orig    San Francisco Sunday July 3, 1973
AA5  42   Orig    Another Tape, San Franciso Summer 1973, perhaps
Sunday
AA6  18   Orig    San Franciso Summer 1973 Sunday Tape 2 pp18
AA7  23   Orig    Miami Dec. 26, 1974  Tape 6a

--------------------------


Notes will be Deep6'd to =scsaaa3; Caveat Lector, Hector, viz.: 
Caveat Tabbycat (=Snias Alert), Caveat Blackhat (my perspective is
eclectic, and my practice is not orthodox). 

I do not intend to affront nor confront anyone's religious nor
personal sensibilities, and offer my apologies (that's
apologetics, Critics) insofar as I do so.  

That said, I think there's a lot of good material amidst a lot
more shtuyot in these notes.  It's rather like going out shopping,
at least in galutz if not to the shuk -- you may pass some things
that you'd rather not look at.

I dash off these notes to let off steam, and have not re-read
them, not even to correct typos.  A fortiori, I ain't attempted to
edit much less reconsider whatever I said.



I am practically illiterate in Jewish studies. I can barely read
Hebew script, so someone must correct my transliterations.

I find now that I understand very little of what RSC says.
Somewhat as with Wittgenstein's Philosophical Investigations, the
problem is less one of understanding what he says, than of
understanding why he says it.  

OK:  I find myself getting increasingly impatient with these
teachings.

First of all, its frustrating to be reading a commentary --
especially a popularized commentary -- on a text that ain't
included, nor even identified except by author .  One wants the
original at hand in translation, to critically examine what RSC is
dong with it.	

Second of all, RSC in general teaches from a book, usually one of
the books of Reb Nachman, and so if that book jumps from topic to
topic, so does RSC.    


Third, as Gedalya Flier once implied, RSC's popularization does
get in the way.  It's rather like the aesthetics in a kindergarten
-- all bold simple colours, little subtlety, nothing intricately
joined together.                    

Fourth, there's a gung ho hasidic enthusaiasm that, as a Litvak
Anglophile, I find not quite my cup of tea.  A sort of
all_or_nothing approach to religiosity.

Maybe a thousand years ago, beyond the Arabian deser, a  derbvish,
Shams y Tabriz, came running up to Rumi, a leading Islamic
academician, grabbed the manuscript that Rumi had been working on
for years, and threw it down a well.  Shams y Tabriz said, would
you like me to get it back for you -- it will be perfectly dry. 
Rumi said, No, and became a great Sufi.  I would hae thrown the
dervish down the will and gone back to the Faculty Club.

I find myself increasingly drawn to John Austin, who said, Let us
worry less about the Good and the True and the Beautiful, and pay
more attention to the dainty and the dumpy.
And similarly those films of Eric Rohmer, filled with the trivial
but harmless talk of the bourgeoisis.
And even, charmingly, the Manhattan Upper West Side sensibility of
J.D. Salinger, eg in Franny and Zooey . 
And incresingly longing for Aristotle's Golden Mean, whatever that
is. 
My grandmother would always set out a glass of dry sherry and some
cheese and crackers before supper, although the family fortune had
been lost in the Depression.




In my opinion, the next step in working with this material is for
somoene familiar with the texts which RSC is teaching , to insert
the appropriate passages from those texts in these transcriptions. 
With appropriate notes as well.
This applies especially to the recorded writings and sayings of
Reb Nachman.

Again:  I make no claims upon this nor any other RSC material that
I have worked on, but acknowlege that others may assert such
claims.
I do ask that anyone using it, and anyone modifying it, indicate
my filename in Source information, primarily for a sort of 'audit
trail' to serve as check on errors.
                                          
---------------------------------------------------------
EDITORIAL NOTES:

Hitherto I  tried to start each line where it's started on the ms.
That holds for =sc_aa7 , =sc_aa6 , =sc_aa5 , =sc_aa4
That facilitates my proof-reading the input against the ms.
(though I only do so when I fear I maybe left something out )
But in this doc I'll stop doing that.


But sometimes I break it early and start a new paragiraffe, in the
interests of like enhancing clarity.  
And somtimes I alter the punctuation of the ms., because
punctuation is like Dealer's Choice.

A paragiraffe is an outstanding paragraph.  All R. Shlomo's
paragraphs are paragiraffe's.

=================================================================
===============================================================
START PAGE 1 OF RSC MS. AA3

Transcriber begins with an ellipsis ... indicating that the tape
begins after the start of the lecure .

--------------

 ... that, a lot of people wanted to bring
the Mesiah.  They did eberything they could
and it didn't work.  Why.  Because they were
so holy, evil knew they were holy, made
them so much much trouble.

So what did my 
father do.  He decided, I'll hide myself.  Because 
Reb Shalom you know was walking around
like a business man.  He was the first rebbe
who didnt look like a rebbe.  He looked like
a business man.  He walked down the street,
talked to girls who sold apples.  All kinds
of things.  He says, do you know when my
father was talking on the the street to people, he
was momish bringing the Messiah.  Because
evil did not know what he is doing at
that time.

But then he says, because the 
world wasn't ready, so G_d took him away.

So he says:
DaId HaMeLekh, David the King, is obviously
brining the Messiach.  So what's King Dovid
doing.  Noody knows.  Eberyobdy thinks
what is he doing there.  But G_d knows
he's driving out evil.  he world thinks
he's doing all kings of crazy things, but 
G_d knows he's driving out the evil
---------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 2 OF RSC MS. AA3

of the world, right.  Way way out.  Because
its like this, you know:  Evil is so shallow that
evil doesn't know what's going on inside.  
That's very strong to remember, you know.
Evil's only approach is to outside.  Inside, evil
cant touch.  
Like, a a deal with G_d.  Inside, can't touch.

So King David made himself outside like
he is just crazy,

[ REFERENCE:  This is the story of David when he takes refuge from
Saul in PHilistine land, and when he is discovered he pretends to
be an idot, and is driven out of their turf.  Tht is commemorated
in Psalm:    ]

he doesn't want to do anything
all his life.  So evil left him.  He drove evil out
because evil left.  He thought, King David is so
evil I don't have to work on im.
(aa3-1)
                
Therefore evil left me so I could serve G_d all the time --
because I did eerything so hidden.
(aa3-2)


This is very beautiful.  It says:
"My soul is praising G_d" -- if the humble people in the 
world hear him they will be happy.
Dovid haMelch
(aa3-3)
says like this.  As much as I'm
praising G_d all the time, you know, I personally
praise G_d all the time, even if G_d is not
so good to me I still praise 'HIM'.  

But I can not make other people praise 'HIM' if 
I say, you know, 

"Praise G_d everything 
went wrong with me.  Praise G_d you 
know.  I'll turn on the world.  Wow, G_d 
was so bad to me.  Doesn't it make you happy.",
(aa3-4)


---------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 3 OF RSC MS. AA3                    

you know.

But he [ the Psalmist, David haMelekh) says:
I'm begging G_d, let
me tell the people something which makes them
happy.  As much as I personally believe that
whatever YOU do is OK, but I'd rather YOU
do me such things  as I'll be able to tell all
the holy, the humble people of the world, to 
make them happy.
(aa3-5)

What did the world react.
You know, the word got around, that King David
was crazy.
(aa3-6)

So what did the enemies say.
They say he was really crazy, you know.
He didn't make himself.  He's momish crzy.  
So therefore he says, I thank G_d because
G_d knows I wasn't crazy, you know.
I'm just thanking him that I made myself
crazy.  The humble peple of the world, the
real holy people, they also know and are happy.
They heard the story and they knew I wasn't
crazy, cauge I'm happy that G_d helped
me.  But the arrogant people really think
that I was crazy.  
(aa3-7)
You know.  

Could be
today you know.  King David was way out.
All the straight folks you know, they didn't
go for him in a big way.  
(aa3-8)


I don't know
if you remember, Kind Dovid momish
--------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 4 OF RSC MS. AA3

had all the schleppers with him.  King David
when he began his kingdom didn't have
anybody with him.  Just the schleppers.  The poor people.

You know, the world is like this.  When I do something good, I
tell everybody.  What I believe in -- most people don't tell you
what they believe, they're afraid.  Because maybe -- 

It has to be the other way around.  
Whatever you do good, why should you tell.  
Whatever you believe in, you got to tell.
Very strong.

You know, we have tfilin shel yod, tfilin of the hand, to tie our
actions to G_d. and we have tfilin shel rosh, .  
Tfilin shel yod, our actions we cover [ ie, conceal, veil ].  
Tfilin shel Rosh is open.  Eerybody has to know exactly what
you believe.
Ver strong.

That means when someone meets you -- [even] before they talk 
to you, like whst you reslly believe has
to be written all over you.  On your face
and your hands and your head.  
Very strong.
(aa3-9)                                        

Just run in the street and tell
them.  

[ But] We run in the street and tell them -- 
not really what its all about; [instead]  we tell you
what we did yesterday.  Who cares.  

When I believe in something I have to tell the world.
-----------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 5 OF RSC MS. AA3      

This is a letter which REB NACHMAN wrote to REB NATHAN , actually
Reb Nachman's biggest pupil.

[ BZ pointed out, from Reb Nachman we have just a few books:  the
teachings that Reb Nachman wrote -- I think that's Likutei Maharan
-- and also teachings of Reb Nachman that Reb Nathan wrote down. ]
(aa3-10)	

He wrote a letter to you, he wants you to read the letter and to
read it in such a way, that I know is was 
[ sic is was but 'tis viz. it was, Cuz' ] 
written to me [, McGee ].
So he says:

 I want you to read the latter and say your name and your mother's
name and read it.  
OK, and I'll read it to you.
And he says:  I'm begging you, really say your name and your
mother's name, because it will be good for you.

OK.  It's way out, you know.  If you want to e completely with it,
why don't you also say your name and your mother's name while I'm
reading it, OK.

[ RSC THEN READS THE LETTER OF REB NACHMAN TO REB NATHAN,
INSERTING HIS OWN NAME ]:

"OK, you Shlomo ben Naftali ben Pesa, my sweet close friend and
pupil, I'm crying out to you.  I'm begging you, stop for a few
minutes and listen to what I have to tell you.  Becasue I'm
talking to you about your eternity.  I want you to know how much
work I put in to my own self, till I was able to tell you to come
close too. [ transcriber has 'close to' ]
Do you know how many miracles happen
---------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 6 OF 

to you.  How many wonders.  Till you got a little closer to G_d. 
Therefore I'm begging you the most important thing is, don't fool
yourself and don't let anybody else fool you.  Don't you know that
there is nobody else can fix your soul.  Only you can fix your own
soul. and all the levels which you wanz to reach, only you can
reach them." 

And therefore he said:

"The only only of getting to this, you have to be alone. And you
have to talk to yourself.  You have to talk to G_d. and got to
msmish tell 'HIM' everything.<2  

He says:

"It sounds maybe simple"

he says,

"but"

he says 

if you can do it with all simplicity, momish like a child.  Doing
it really with all your heart."

!He says [ Reb Nachman in an Open Letter to Reb Nathan] something
so beautiful:

"Do you know how much your soul is missing to talk to you. Do you
know how much your are missing yourself. Can you imagine you're
living so long in this world and never spoke to yourself.  If you
could only hear the way your own soul is missing you, then nothing
in the world could be between you and your
(aa3-11)
-------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 7 OF RSC MS. AA3

own soul and when you talk to your own soul then you can judge
yourself in such a holy way, a deep way, a high way, and just with
a few words you can fix your own self.  Your Nefesh, Ruach,
Neshama.  And you can fix the world until all eternity, because
every person has to know that the whole world depends on me.  
(aa3-12)
Because if the world difn't depend on me I wouldn't be alive."

And now he says:

"I want you to know one thing.  I'm yelling out to you", he says,
"to let you know that because your whole eternity depends on it,
therefore_because its the hardest thing to do.  Because everything
which is not important is easy to do.  But that thing which is
really important is almost impossible even if its so simple."
(aa3-12a)
                                          
He says:

"You'll have 10,00 excuses and 15,000 questions.  In the meantime
you won't do it. "

Therefore, he says:

"My holy brother, my holy sister, have compasison.  Don't stand
before G_d without anything.  Don't stnad before you own self in
shame."

He says:

"And please don't you know, the life of your children and
grandchildren, till the end of generations, depends on you."

He says:

"I know
--------------------------------------------------------------

START PAGE 8 OF MS. AA4

you're ready to die for G_d.  But I'm not asking you to die for
G_d.  I'm askng you to take off a minutes."


Oy!
Better sing a little song after this.  Its too heartbreaking you
know.

PRESUMABLY A BREAK FOR SINGING
RSC RESUMES, PRESUMABLY TEACHING A TEXT FROM REB NACHMAN

What is called holy.
He says like this:

What is a holy word.  A holy word is that every word I utter I'm
completely compltely given to that word.  Not that I utter those
words.
(aa3-13)

Like, I'm giving birth to those words, you know.
Even deeper than thdt.  Completely ocmpltely with that word.

But then he says:
If that word is that holy, then that word is written on me.  Then
I'm as holy as the holy Torah.  

That means: because the holy letters are written on the parchment.
And people who have those holy worgs written on them, they're just
so holy.                                     

[ That was a very nice explication by RSC of Reb Nachman's analogy
'written on me' ]

That means holy words are -- If you are one with the words you
utter, ocmpletely on.

So deep, you know.

If I and the word I utter are two, its not holy.  it may be good
and sweet and cute, not holy.  Holy wors are if I'm completely one
with the words.  Not only I'm one with the word, it's like written
on me.  

That means I could say to you 
------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 9 OF RSC MS. AA3

look at me.  Its written on me the word.  OK
In order for a person to know what he wants to, what she want to--
- 

OK, what is my soul really.  
We're learning about it already.

In a certain way, you know, my body is really finite, in a certain
deep way.  
And my soul is really infinite.  Infinite.  
What's infinte.  
Infinite is:
When I want something, I'm missing something, you know, its more
infinite, you know.

I'll tell you something very deep you know, on a whole: 
A lot of times we are closer to people when we miss them than when
we are in front of them, right.
(aa3-14)

Because when we miss them its on an infitne level, right.  But
when we're standing next to them its finite, right.  I am here and
you are there.  

So our  two infinie parts is ok, but the question is, are we on a
finite level, also.  

But the real real deep relationnship is when the finite and
infinite are so much together that I can stand next to someone and
stll miss them.  
Or I can misf them verc far and still love them at the same time,
you know.

So what is my soul.  My soul is compltely missing, right.  What's
my soul.  I said its missing.  I didn't say its always missing
something, right.  What's my soul.  
(aa3-15)

I'll tell
---------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 10 OF RSC MS. AA3

you something vevy deep:

Most people the moment thay have what they have they stop having a
soul, right.

[ Wrong again. ]
(aa3-16)

Most people, right.  The more they have what they need, the less
you feel their soul, right.
(aa3-17)	

Why is a poor man so precious. Because he needs so much and he has
nebach nothing , so his soul is more shining because he misses
something.
(aa3-18)	

His sou is really in touch, right.  Cause he misses somethng.  He
needs something.  But the moment you have something and you stop
missing it, then your soul isn't working anymore.
(aa3-19) 

So sadly enough, without getting involved, a lot of religious
people, right, the moment they're a little bit religious, they do
a little bit Shabos, a little bit Yalmukah 
(aa3-19g)
, their soul stops for them because they think they have
everything.  They're not missing anything.  
(aa3-20) 

But this is noz real soul service right.  The soul is, my soul has
to be completely -- even whatever I do shouldn't cut off the wings
of my sou, becaus my soul is, G_d is infite.  Everything is
infinite.  So because I did a little deed_ala , beause I did
something therefore I stop missing, right.

But he says something very deep:
---------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 11 OF RSC MS. AA3

In order to bring forth this holienss of my soul, my real soul,
what I'm missing all the time, I have to listrn to my soul telling
me whst my soul is missing.  Because the moment my soul tells me
what my soul is missing, then this beceomes really momish real. 

You know, a lot of people have something in their heart, but its
not real enough to fight against this what they have which is so
strong.

Listen, something very deep:
Where do your  words come from. Words come from a very deep place
in your heart.  Words don't come from that place 'what_you_have',
words come from that place where you're missing something.  And
you talk out of that part of you which is missing.  Its missing
something.  

So when you meet people with very dirty language, they momish are
only missing dirty things, you know.  

Because words come from that part, what_are_you_missing in life. 
What are you waiting for. What are you waitng for, you know.

So therefore he says like this -- 
then you have to know something very deep:
You know every word you utter, something really happens to you,
you know.  Somemthing absolutley happens to you at that moment.
-------------------------------------------------------------
                       
START PAGE 12 OF RSC MS. AA3

Not only when we do something, something happens.  
When I say a word something happens.
When I say holy words then suddenly my soul is wanting something
more holy , more deep.
If I say something stupid, then in a certain way my soul gives up,
says forget it.
'Forget it', G_d forbid.
(aa3-21) 

OK, listen to this: 

You know, holiness depends on how much, how much you're yearning
for something.

Imagine I meet a poor man and I give him a nickle, right.  That's
a sweet act, a good act.  But the thing is, while I'm giving him
the nickle how much am I yearning to give him something.  That's
how holy the act is, right.
(aa3-22)	

While Im praying you know I want so much to pray, thats holy.
If while Im praying I say alright Im praying already so thats it ,
you know.  If while Im learning, studying something, I want so
much to understand what Im learning.  I want so much to be with
it.  It should be momish part of me -- thats how holy the learning
is.

Oy yoy yoy.

He says:
With missing something or yearning for something you dont know how
far you can get.  You can reach the highest.  And he says, people
had such holy souls they could have 
reached the highest.  They didn't reach it because                 
                 
-----------------------------------------------------------------

START PAGE 13 OF RSC MS. AA3

they didn't yearn for it enough.                               

What am I living from.  What gives me life.  My heart, right.
Even physically my heart is yearning, right.  Going, beating all
the time.
(aa3-23)	
Yearning for somethig.  Inhaling, exhaling.

What happesn to my heart.  You know, we always think that my heart
is living from the inhaling.  Its not true.  My heart is living
from the between inhaling exhaling, exhaling inhaling.  In between
you know.
(aa3-24) 
How things are, gvalt.

I really need just a little bit fresh air, you know. Then you take
a little bit, and you say Oy, it wasnt good enough.  Got to do
something better you know.

Sadly enough, the moment you do it you just think I'll do it the
way, I'll breathe the same way I did before.  You're old.  You're
dead.  
(aa3-25)
Cant you imagine if we could be on that level you know that each
time we take a breath I would think Oy -- I didn't do it ---

TRANSCRIBER NOTES:  Tape Ends.

TRANSCRIER REMARKS:  Note -- this tape was not in good condition.
Thus this is all that was playable.  Still, I enjoyed it,
especially Reb Nachman's letter.
-------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 14 OF RSC MS. AA3

Header states only:

NEW TAPE, SAN FRANCISCO, SUMMER 1973

I will put the rest of Ms. AA3 -- ie, Pages 14--38 -- in a new
doc, with final docname =sa_aa3_2
================================================================
END DOC =sc_aa3_1
NOTES TO BE DEEP6'd TO =scsaaa31                                   
                             
===============================================================
sa, Campra, 31 May 05 -- 22 AIYaR -- gvurah sh'b' YESOD --
23 Rabi' al Thaanay
A clear fresh spring day, mountains green almost to treeline
==================================================================


