=escaa5a et seq (=escsa6b... ) Final docname: sc_e_aa5 'Flying Edit' of =sc_aa5 Heading only: "Another Tape, San Francisco Summer 73, perhaps Sunday" ---------------------- EDITORIAL FOL_de_ROL FOLLOWS: "A Flying Edit is to a professional edit as is to lunar cartography the Memoirs of the Cow Who Jumped Over the Moon." "To edit Shlomo, take out every third mamash." R. Joshua Witt N.B.: It is my intention in this Flying Edit to preserve all the conceptual material presented by RSC, and to neither delete from nor add to that conceptual structure, although I will try to bring it out more clearly. I will not necessarily preserve style, for that you go back to the verbatim -- or input tapes if/when they have been preserved, found, and input. I do not intent to prune style nor conceptual structure for the comfort of the average reader, as it is said, "Don't let Yael over_edit my teachings" (heard, best's I recollect, said of RSC at Modi'in (sa). I am greatful to Miriam Gal-Or for xeroxing and responsibly mailing me (Airmail Registered) this an other RSC xerox manuscripts. All packages sent SeaMail from Israel may be claimed on the beach of the Gallapogos Islands, if the turtle stays chaste till it gets there. This set of xerox ms.'s is a xerox my xerox of the BZ Collection with is a xerox of the HH collection which is a xerox I made of a small part of the Witt Collection, which Witt maybe got from Hatzkela who maybe got it from HLP. The numbering of manuscripts is mine, and accurately, maybe, iconically represents the order in which I pulled them out of the Witts' file drawer on day in maybe '86. Needless to say. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Heading only: "Another Tape, San Francisco Summer 73, perhaps Sunday" The seems to be one in a series of RSC talks hosted by Rabbi Leibowitz. This cluster of transcrips also includes Ms. AA5 , AA4, AA3, AA2 At some point the party moves to Jerusalem, and that's Ms. AA1 Ms. AA7 is December 1974. All the rest of this cluster is Summer 1973. The transcriber for all these Ms., except maybe AA1, is the usual one, from the handwriting Don't know who. Maybe Illana Rappaport (Schachter) but that's just a guess. No further Provenance Info on Manuscript. (Provenance is in Rhode Island) ================================================================= START PAGE 1 OF RSC MS. AA5 ANOTHER TAPE, SAN FRANCISCO SUMMER 73 PERHAPS SUNDAY ---------------------------------------------------------------- I'm serving G_d. And if I'm not on the level then I'm going through the motions. It's very holy: I'll be rewarded for it, in heaven, but it isn't. Heartbreaking. This [ NEITHER AUTHOR NOR TEXT STATED ] is very beautiful:ÿ /------------------------------------------------------------- INTERJECTION: [ This point is developed more fully in =sh_onjoy , The Tora of the Little Piece of Ham, a talk given at Another Place Farm Sunday December 6, 1981. It happens to be the first RSC teaching I transcribed. It is commentary on a passage from Reb Nachman. It begins, (to paraphrase): If I walk down the stairs and steal a little piece of ham from the stewpot, this is a retail sin. But then if I walk in to give my teaching looking like a hangdog, this is a wholesale sin -- how dare I bum out the whole universe. ] Here is the text, which is included (in W.EXE format, EinsteinWriter) in =learning.zip on my primary Website, www.geocities.com/sa73122a START EXCERPT, RSC, =SH_ONJOY , edit sa ( I use 3-dots ... only to indicate ellipsis, that is, to indicate that I omit some text spoken by RSC . I do not use 3 dots to indicate a ... well- , if not over- -bred pause ... as they used do in San Francisco , in the Reign of Caen at the Chronicle: There is "retail sin" and "wholesale sin". A "retail sin" is, like, let's assume I was coming here, and I was too hungry, and let's assume there was a piece of ham lying there, and nobody was looking, who'll know that I took it {0a}, running up to my room, eating a little ham ... Let's assume it was a terrible sin; it was a little retail sin. [But] when I'm sad, that's not a retail sin, it's a wholesale sin. It's affecting my whole being. ... [If I eat] a little piece of ham and I come down, and Emmy [Emmy is Emmy Rainwater, co-host of the seminar, with Medicine Story {Wampanough Tribe, Martha's Vinyard, in Massachusetts' territory recently occupied by the USA}] didn't notice that I stole it, nothing happens. [But if] I walk down sad, every person that looks at me gets the creeps. I change the vibrations of the world. {1} It's not merely a wholesale, it's a world [sin] ... And who am I to commit a sin against humanity, against the whole world. So again, the moment you go into the service of G-d, the moment you decide to become a perfect human being, at that moment it has to be clear to you that the greatest sin in the world is to be sad. And he [R. Nachman] says, hold on with your last strength to be happy. You have to feel like you're drowning in the ocean, and you have just one piece of wood to hold onto, and the name of that peice of wood is joy. You have to fight with your very life. Because if you're not filled with joy, you're absolutely drowning. END EXCERPT -----------------------------------------------------------\ RESUME EDIT OF INPUT OF PAGE 1 OF RSC MS. AA5 [ As noted, RSC is retelling and commenting on a text, but author and book are not stated ] If I look sad, the person sitting next to me feels uncomfortable. Why do they feel uncomfortable. At best, if they love me a lot, they'll overcome all those uncomfortable feeling and just say: 'Got to stick it out. He's my friend. I've got to stick around while he's crying.' But this doesn't go, right. Imagine I'm sitting her momish and laughing like the holy ROBSHITZER, so everbody will feel comfortable. They will think: He's doing his serving of G_d with joy. RABBI LEIBOWITZ: "You don't feel uncomfortable when someone laughs hysterically?" RSC: If it's stupid laughter, but not if its holy laughter, I said, like the ROBSHITZER Rebbe, not like Red Buttons in Miami. (ms. aa4 p2) So he says something very strong: If I look deep into the Abyss, it is very uncomfortable and frighening. When you see a person sad, at that moment you're momish confronted with nothingless. (eaa5-1) You see that this person is just struggling betweeen being and non-being. Imagine that you see me standing with just one foot on the roof. You say listen, do me a favor. You make me nervous, You may be the greatest acrobat in the world, but please stand normal. I'm afraid to see you like this. If you want to do it I just don't want to see it, right. [ The discussion has moved from depression to self_destructive manic depression. ] He [ the author whom RSC is teaching ] says: And similarly with my relationship to G_d -- When I'm walking around sad, I make G_d uncomfortable. G_d says listen, I love you, I'm your G_d you know, promised you , signed a contract on Mt. Snai. I'll stick it out be with you BUT -- I really don't feel comfortable with you, you know. (ms. aa4 page 3) I'll tell you something very very deep: When you smile your're filled with joy. When you look at somebody they look back at you. But when you cry they can't really look back at you. They try but they can't. You can smile eye to eye but you can't cry eye to eye. This world is just a little mirror of heaven, right. When you cry, you make Heaven uncomfortable. QUESTION: [ Questioner not identified. From a remark on Ms. Page 5, it appears to have been someone named Chana. ] "I don't understand. Crying is such a pure, such a beautiful confrontation with Heaven and also with other people." RSC: It depends how you're crying. You can cry with Being. You can cry with Nothingness. I made it very clear I'm not talking about crying in general. I'm talking about -- 'aTzvOT -- Atzvos- This dead kind of sadness. (Page 4 of Ms. AA5 ) On Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur we're crying all the time. It's the holiest tears, right. Or, similarly, imagine that someone come up to you and says, I love you, I want to be the greatest friend to you, and is crying while he's saying it. It opens your heart in a thousand ways. But if someone in just kvetching -- imagine it's an older woman, even your mother, distressed at getting a bad trim in the beauty parlour -- all you can do is pet her on the back. RABBI LEIBOWITZ: "What about deep sadness coming from things that G_d caused to happen to you. If G_d wants you so much to be happy -- why doesn't 'HE' help you. You said 'HE' feels very uncomfortable when you are sad. (Page 5 of ms. AA5 ) RSC: OK, I want you to know something very strong. Listen to this. But remind me to come back: We're accustomed to just rattle off the prayers, and we think we have to say everything in the siddur. The TRISKER MAGID was so real, One Selichos he didn't say Slichos. You know Selichos is -- the Saturday night before Rosh HaShana we say special prayers. [ In minhag Sfard Slichot are said before daybreak throughout the month of Elul; in Ashkenazi custom they are said in the week of Rosh HaShana, customarily at midnight. ] His hasidim aked him what happened. He says: We begin selichos, we say, G_d, YOU were right, and we are ashamed. YOU are right, whatever you did and we are ashamed, whatever we did. That year there had been pogroms all over. He said, I just can't say it. Sorry, G_d, I can't say it. Taka a gevalt momish you know. That means that every word you utter must be real. The Trisker Magid could not say the Slichot whole heartedly, with full believe, so he did not say them. (Page 6 of Ms. AA4) To return to the topic of the 'smiling face' and to your question, Chana, about tears: There is a very big difference between crying before somebody, or crying about something. If I'm crying before G_d, it's the holiest thing. Maybe 'HE''s crying with me. But [ if ] I'm crying about something and I'm telling it to G_d, not so good. Got to cry before G_d, you know. [ I am not clear about RSC's distinction here. ] But anyway, the most important thing is, you have to know: If you're shinning below, here, G_d is shinning. (aa5-23) You see, all this is delicate, you know. It's not ultimate and yet there is something to it, you know. He says: If you smile below here, then G_d smiles back at you from ahove. Something very holy is going on between you and G_d . But sometimes not so much. The world 'sadness' is not good translation of the word 'AtzmOs' . RABBI LEIBOWITZ: "Melancholia" [N.B. -- 'Melancholia', is a medieval or anyhow pre-modern term, seems to to correspond to the modern term 'depression'. ] RSC: No no. I's even deeper than that. Atzmos actually means to shut yourself off. R.L.: But that's the implication of 'melancholia'. You do shut yourself off. (Page 7 of Ms. AA5 ) RSC: I understand -- you're sitting there mopeing away. There are two kinds of sadness. There is 'medEvas' , which is bitterness, which is living sadness. And 'atzmOs' is dead sadness. Dead sadness. 'Bitterness' is, 'I wish I could do better'; Gevalt, why didn't I It's "'I' didn't do it right", you know. Why didn't I do better. Just knowing I didn't do good enough, I'm sad. (eaa5-2) This is living sadness. And then I walk out from there and I want to do better. And then the deepest thing is, the difference between MedEus and AtzmOs. The BAAL SHEM TOV says, it is very simple: If after you cry you see another person do you love them or do you hate them. If your crying was a living kind of cry, then every person looks so beautiful to you. You think: 'I'm not so beautiful but he or she is so beautiful, right. I'm so happy with them. PAGE 8 OF RSC. MS AA5 But if you have this dead kind of sadness, then everyobdy looks ugly to you, you know. In that state, passersby in the street may seem to you to be disgusting creatures. But if you're in a state where you can't look at them, G_d can't look at you either you know. Then he says: If your level of joy makes you feel one with the world, because you feel the Oneness of G_d -- but if you can't stand people -- then this is not G_d joy. And he says: If the joy is coming from a very high and very deep place, it does not make you stupid. So if then you behave crudely, telling distasteful jokes or what_not, then that was not true joy. (eaa5-3) You have to realize one thing: The higher its coming from the deeper it goes. If it doesn't reach you that deep it doesn't come from that high. Then he says: When you are in the dead kind of sadness, deep down, you really think, there is no G_d . You think the whole thing is a fake. At that moment you really reached the bottom of dead sadness. Therefore he says: Keep away from it, as far as you can. He says: You walk in the street and suddenly you're so happy, you don't know why. He says: because at that moment they declared in Heaven, to give you something. Even if it might be a hundred years from now, your soul heard it and was happy. How can you understand what's going on if you're sad. PAGE 10 OF RSC MS. AA5 Then he says something more beautiful. He says: Tears open the gates but joy breaks down the walls. That's a gvealt. If you want to know if you haven't lost yet the wholeness of your soul -- remember, we aleays talk about it -- : I have a soul and then there is the allness, the wholeness of me. If a person wants to know if I still have this wholeness, very simple: If I do something and I'm completely happy with it. Becuase joy comes from that wholeness of me. As much as I'm sad when I'm missing something, outside of me, I'm also sad if I'm missing a little part of my soul. But if Im completly happy, if I can for one moment feel this complete joy, that means my soul is still complete. Then he says: The strongest vitamin is joy, because joy makes you strong in a million ways. Physically, mentally, spiritually. Momish makes you strong. START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 11 OF RSC MS. AA5 Then he says again: Zhere's all kinds of strength. Imagine I could eat dog food and be strong. But the highest level of strength which a person needs to live in this world, is joy. Because the whole world is filled with joy. the highest level of joy. Then he says something very beautiful: If someone asks you for advice, then when you give them a real true advice, it fills you with joy. Now he says something very crazy: If you walk in the street and suddenly you're very happy, its because somewhere in the world a very holy soul was born. He says: When you tell stories about holy people, you tell other people that there is holy people in the world. It fills you with joy. Ah, this is very deep: We were talking Friday and other times so much about KavoD. When do I reveal myself the most. Wehn is my KovoD, my honor, shineing from one corner of the word to the other. He says: The utmost of KavoD is when I'm happy, you know. When this holy joy fills me. START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 12 OF RSC MS. AA5 Ther is something about a person you know, the real holy honor surrounding him -- because joy comes from such a high place and KavoD comes from such a high place. He says: If you don't understand something. I guess you're deep deep down sad. He says: What does it mean to be happy with what you're dong. Everyone says I'm happy with what I'm doing. What means 'happy'. Happy means: If I'll never do anything again, and if I'd only be born and hang around this world 80 years just for this one thing, I would do it. That's called 'I'm happy with this one thing'. And if you can be on the level with every mitzva you're doing -- if you're on such a level that you feel: 'If I would only be born for this one morning to put on tfilin, if I was just born for this one ShaBaT, that would have been enough -- that's called joy. R.L.: "So why doesn't it make you sad that you don't have another one of those?" RSC: But then G_d will give you another one, you know. START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 13 OF RSC MS. AA5 If G_d feels you're good -- G_d is a merchant, right, selling Shabos. If its good to do business with you, you know, 'HE''ll make another deal. RABBI LEIBOWITZ: "I want that in writing." [ It is. V_ShoMRU BNeI YiSRAeL AeT Ha_ShaBaT ... BeYiNI B_BeIN BNI YiSRAeL AOT HiYA L_'OLaM ] RSC: Oh, this is momish very deep -- Remember we were talking all the time: There is such a thing as AeMeT, there is such a thing as truth, and there is such a thing as believeing. He says: Real joy is a combination of truth and believing. IF I believe what I know, AND IF I know what I believe, THEN AeMeT and AeMuNaH both work together strong inside of me, complete in that, AND THEN I'm filled with joy. [ Nu, so you thought only Thomists could, like, deploy Aristotelian logic in conceptual exegesis of religous whatevers? ] He says: If my joy comes from AeMet & AeMuNaH , truth and belieiving, then it's called Jewish joy, holy joy. Otherwise it's called pagan joy. He says: How do you know how deep the joy reaches you. If it momish makesyou get up and dance like mad that means it reached your feet. Otherwise it didn't reach you compeltely yet. START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 14 OF RSC MS. AA5 Reb Nachamn always talks about imagination: He says: If you're sad, it's not that you have sad imagination. When you're sad your imagination isn't real. Because imagination is flying. And if you're sad, you're so happy [ that(?)] you can't fly. [ ?You might suppose that?] You can imagine that you're flying -- but the whole thing of imagining flying -- even that is impossible because you're too heavy. But if you're filled with joy then you have momish wings and you can fly. He says: The gretest joy in the world is when a person is really his own judge. If person can sit down and really like spy on himself to know what he did, what he has to do better, that means he is momish in touch with himself. Most of the time we do things, we live through them but we just -- then we read in the newspapers we did it. But I never tell myself [what I did ]. It's much better if I hear it from myself. Very deep you know. Something happened to you and then your best friend hears it from somebody else that you did it. They're angry. START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 15 OF RSC MS. AA5 Can you imagine how angry my soul is that I never told my own soul Now he says something very strong: What did the snake really do to Eve. How did the sanke get through to her. He says: The snake made her sad. Snake said to Eve, Wow, you can't eat this tree you know. And he started [ to make Eve ] being so sad. He says at the end: I want you to know that all this talk is all meaningless because how could I tell you to be happy. He says: It's up to everyone. But I'm jmst begging you, you know, be happy. QUESTION: (Transcribe notes: Not heard) RSC: No, if you love other people, if everyobdy is OK to you, you're filled with joy. The BAAL SHEM TOV says: When I'm filled iwth joy I can meet my biggest enemy and I love him. Because I don't give a damn. He hates me -- ehh -- who care, you know. R.L.: "I wish I could be that happy." START PAGE 16 OF RSC MS. AA5 RSC: Yeah, I know what you mean. But if I can walk around and still [ to my mind ] 'this one hates me; this one like me', obbviously I'm not filled with joy, because if I were filled with joy, I I wouldn't care. He says: Why does G_d forgive us on Yom Kippur for everything we did wrong. Because there's so much joy, right. So we say to G_d, Listen, I did this; 'HE' says ok, you did it, who cares you know. Then we say G_d, you know we're planning to do wrong again this year. 'HE' says OK. We were talking about Heaven and hell. [This is clearly a reference to a previous lecture by RSC, but I have no idea which one, nor whether it is preserved in any form by any person. ] We have it here in front of us. [So this is clearly a reference to the Text by Reb Nachman that is under discussion in this lecture, but I don't have any of the texts of Reb Nachman at hand, and ain't familiar with them anyhow, so I can't guess which text is being referred to. Almost anyone who reads this could, and I hope does, insert in this doc the appropriate references from Reb Nachman's Nachlass. ] It says: If someone reads Krias Shema, SheM'a -- if someone says in the morning -- twice a day or three times a day you have to say Hear Israel, the LORD our G_d, the LORD is One -- He says: If someone says it and he's momish uttering the letters properly, then he says, like, they cool hell for him, you know. If he's supposed to be in hell, they cool it for him you know. Put an air_conditioner in. OK. Now he says: Those words [ of the Kriyat Shma ] have to be understood very deep. He says: What is hell. Hell is the utmost of non_being. The utmost of Being is the Torah START PAGE 17 OF RSC MS. AA5 G_d's word is the utmost of Being. And if you're not connected to the Torah, if you're not connected to G_d's world, you're not being. [ or: "you're not_being" ] Less and less and less. But he says: Even in saying G_d is One, even that can be on the level of non_being if you're not saying it really and I'm putting my heart into it. I can like walk on the street and give a Yidala kvais a nickel, BUT -- if I'm not doing it, if I'm not MEDACHDIK , if I'm not saying the letters properly, if I'm not doing completely -- THEN , also , -- my being is not there completely. (aa5-65) QUESTION "Shlomo, why give just a Yidala a nickel." (Eaa5-4) RSC: Anybody, did I say yidala. Yeah, ok, listen you know me better than that, right. Yeah, brother. [ In other words, RSC is underlining the halacha that we are to give tzdaka to all who ask, not just to fellow Jews. ] Now listen to this -- You know, I think I told you once: Someone stopped the BELZER Rebbe on the street and asked him, What time is it. So he says its now kvais, he says, let's say,, It's 17:20 and 4 seconds. Someone says to him, isn't that a little bit too much. So he says, you don't understand: The most important thing in the world is, whatever you do, do it complete. Absolutely complete. Someone asks you what time it is, do it complete. START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 18 OF MS. AA5 You know, Heaven and hell is not just, 'somewhere'. the more I'm doing it completely, the more I'm out of hell. If I say SheM'a YiTRAeL G_d is One, and I do it in the most complete complete way, at that moment I'm out of hell -- because I''m 'really there'. I'm completely 'with it'. If I'm saying it half, I'm half out of hell. So he says like this: If I say it and I'm only uttering the letters, its also good. At least hell gets cold, right. But if I'm saying it with all my heart, then I'm completely out of hell. You know, we never know what kind of a favor we do ourselves when we do something complete at that moment. Very strong thing, you know. Another word to remember: Heaven is completeness and hell is incompleteness. You know, it's very strong. Sometimes, lately a lot of people will talk to me, kvais, people get married, you know. If its not completely Heaven, then its like a little bit hell right. If they're not completely together it's a little bit hell in it. And if there's a little bit hell in it, it's bad you know. Got to be completely with it. START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 19 OF RSC MS. AA5 Then at the end he says: One is always complete. Two is never complete. Cause its already two, you know. How complete can it be if its two. One, momish complete. Oy oy. Give me a little SHULCHAN ARUCH. Let's learn something straight. TRANSCRIBER NOTES: TAPE INTERRUPTS TRANSCRIBER RESUMES WITH AN ELLIPSIS ... INDICATING LOST TEXT The resumed text appears to be a continuation of the discussion of (Reb Nachman's rather odd notion of ) hell. So maybe that day they'd put the Shulchan Aruch outdoors to feed the Holy Hobo's. While the Holy Beggars sat inside feasting on Torah. (eaa4-5) When someone talks to you and you're not paying attention you're putting them through hell you know. Because they are confronted with your not being there, with your absence. This is hell, right. [Wrong; its the everyday world. (sa)] But if you have the strength to be completely there, you're putting them at that moment into Heaven. Completely attatched. SOMEONE REMARKS: "So you really have to know how to listen." RSC RESPONDS: You're right. I told some kids yesterday you know -- I mean we all are in it. I know I myself am very bad in it. START PAGE 20 OF RSC MS. AA5 You know what we're doing: Imagine kvais Meir is here. [ I assume that would be Meir Fund. ] I'll say listen Meir let's talk a little bit. Then suddenly Judy will walk in, I say, wait a minute, I've got to talk to Judy. Then Judy comes in, I'll say Oh wait wait wait, got to talk to Lebowitz. Then I'll say, Oh I've got to talk to !!CHATZKALA!! [ And here, doing an unbilled Guest Star walk_on, is, I reckon, Chatzkala Sasson, famous Sofer, Chief Assistant Postmaster of the Moshav Mevo Modi'in Central Post Office, to whom we are indepbted for having preserved this transcript, and much other RSC material.] You know, it's a bad scene, right. You're talking to Meir, talk to Meir. Talk to Judy, talk to judy. But that's what we're doing all the time you know. We're doimg it all the time. [For example:] Kvais, I want to daven now. Then suddenly I'll think I've got to do this, got to do this. And this is momish like -- it means: Rven if I do something and I finished doing it, this is only beause nothing happened such that I could do something else in the meantime. But it means I'm never with anything. So he says: The most important thing is in the nmorning -- this is a little bit about waking up in the morning -- One of the first things you have to decide when you wake up in the mornng, is: Today, whatever I do, I won't be distracted into doing something else. Very very important. That means: Everybody is always thinking -- what do I have to do today. You don't know what you have to do today, becasue you're not a prophet. But one thing you have to momish determine in your own heart. Whatever happens, that's what I'll stick to. Got to do it. (eaa5-6) START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 21 OF RSC MS. AA5 TRANCRIBER NOTES: SIDE 1 ENDS; SIDE 2 BEGINS You know, its very strong if you can do it: If you wake up before dawn and you know you have to go back to sleep because you're too tired. If you can learn one word, one line you know. Very very holy. Because it's a very special time you know. It's a time between Heaven and earth. It's a time between time you know. Tell you something deep, in a crazy way you know: I remember this Conservative Rabbi. It was a whole big thing -- I was supposed to give a song at his shul. And he just didn't like me all the time, so he didn't. Its nischt. But then crazily enough I met him in the airport in Budapest. And suddenly he was very friendly because he had nobody else to talk to, he was so happy with me you know. START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 22 OF RSC MS. AA5 You know what it is. If you meet someone, even if you don't care for them so much, but if you meet them somewhere in between flights you get very close you know. You know, you can never get as close to day and night as when you meet them in between. Day goes this way, night goes the other way -- a few minutes, a little airpot there. So when you meet day and night they're at the apricot airport and you're there and you're learning one word -- that means you're receiving from there very deep. R.L.: "Is it evil that distracts you, it tells you do this do that. You have to do this --- " [ No. (sa) ] RSC: Sure, because evil doesn't mind you doing ten thousand things; evil doesn't want youto do the one thing right. I'll tell you something very strong: Like someone said to me you know it's very easy to be married to eighteen women, it's hard to be married to one you know. You know there is something to it. START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 23 OF RSC MS. AA5 A YOUNG WOMAN: "Shlomo, in the Pirkei Avot it talks about if you're on the way and you're studying Torah and if you see a tree, or a bird and you say how beautiful that tree is, how beautiful that bird is, it's a sin?" RSC: G_d forbid. That's a very bad translatioN. It's good that you bring it up, OK. A whole tora of Reb Nachman was based on that, you know. You see it says: HaLIMeD M_PSQ he cuts himnself off from his learning. Now what it means on a simple level: I'm learning and then suddenly I see a tree (eaa5-7) and suddenly I think what I was learning has nothing to do with the tree. If with that attitude I say, it's a beautiful tree, then I'm momish dead. Because if what you're learning doesn't connect to the tree, then you weren't learning G_d's word, right. He momish -- -- MPSQ means to cut off, you know. If I'm learning G_d's word and it cuts me off from anything in the world, then I wasn't learning right. I don't kmow what you were doing. This is the ordinary translation. But Reb Nachman says momish way out. I'll tell you later, OK? REJOINDER: "It's very pertinent; we're talking about distraction." (eaa5-8) [ A rather elegant point, a bit of a meta. This chick is maybe a mathematician from away across the Bay. ] REFERENCE: PiRQeI AvOT 3:7 (Metsudah Siddur, Ashkenaui) Rabbi Yaakov says: One who walks on the road while he is stuying and interrupts his study to exclaim, How beautiful is this tree. How fine is this field' the Scrpture regards him as if he sins against himself." PiRQeI AvOT G:Z ... RaBI Y'aQov AOMeR : Ha_M__Ha_LeKh B_DeRReKh V_ShONeH V_M_PsIQ M_MShNaT_O V_AOMeR "MaH NAeH AILoN ZeH, NAeH NIR ZeH" -- M_'aLeH 'aLIV Ha_KaTUv K_ALU M_TChIV B_NeFeSH_O So the word in question is V_M_PsIQ M_MShNaT_O translated here "and interrupts his study" RSC recalls it imprecisely as; HaLIMeD M_PSQ ---------- START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 24 OF RSC MS. AA5 RSC RESUMES: I'll tell you what you have to do. I'll tell you something very very strong, believe it or not: What is the whole idea of putting on tfilin in the morning on your hand. The whole idea is that I'm tying my hand to something, right. Because the whole thing is, everybody can do a lot of good things but unless you tie yourself to it you won't finish it. Just can't. You've got to tie yourself. It's very very strong. (eaa5-10) The two most important mitzvas of the day is tzittzit and tfilin. And both are everything there is. QSheR SheL TFiLIn QSheR It's the tying, right. Tzittzit,filled with ties. Anything you do -- if you're not tied to it, then although you do it, it passes you by, since you're not with it completely. Got to tie yourself to it. And the strength to tie myself to something is the whole idea of tfilin. I can think of G_d all day but unless I put the tfilin on, unless I tie myself to G_d with ties, it's nothimg. Very very strong you know. (eaa5-11) START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 25 OF RSC MS. AA5 Listen to this. I want you to know something very beautiful: Kosher is 3 letters, Q Sh R (Quf , Shin , Resh ) And it says you know, SHEKAR , SheQaR -- lies also. [ That is: Bearing in mind that that Hebrew is essentially written entirely in consonants, with the vowels regarded merely as optional aids to pronounciation -- then the same three letters, in different order, are used both for the word Kosher -- healthy, or anyhow dietarily acceptable -- and for Shekar -- Liar . (eaa5-12) Its the same letters, Quf, Shin, Resh. That means you have free choice: Either you're tied to it completely, or the whole thing is a lie. [ This is a free choice?] But now listen to this: In the Zohar Kodesh it says QoReSh QSheH Ha_MiShQaN The walls of the Holy Temple, QoReSh you know , the beams. That means like this: If you tie yourself , then you momish stand like a beam you know. Momish you become one of the walls of the Holy Temple. But if you don't tie yourself , you end up with lies. That's very very strong. Takes a lifetme to work on it. QUESTION: "Yeah, but the truble is people don't want to tie themselves to something unless they get paid in advance." RSC: So they didn't tie themselves to the thing; they tied themselves to money. So at least they're tied to money. It's something. RIPOSOTE: "Spiritual benefits." RSC: That's a bad scene, yeah. QUESTION: "What if you forget why you were tied?" RSC: That means you weren't tied. START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 26 OF RSC MS. AA5 Hey listen. If you don't remember who you are married to then you weren't married, right. Tell you something very deep: You know, a boy writes a letter to a girl -- He says, I proposed to you last night and I forgot what you said. So she writes back: I'm so glad you wrote. I remembered somebody proposed, I couldn't figure out who it was. You know, that's what it is. If I don't know, then the thing doesn't know, you know. [ I don't know what any of this means. (sa) ] The question is always where its coming from. If it touches your heart, you remember it. If it doesn't touch you, you forget it. QUESTIONER: "What I'm trying to say is: If you tie yourself -- let's say the tfilin -- if you do it every day, how do you remind yourself while you are tying it?" RSC: Then you're tying it to tie. That's the strongest tie there is, that's a double tie. [ This seems to be R. Solevetchik's point, in Halachic Man, that a ritual mitzva done for its own sake is exceptionally meritorious. ] QUESTIONER: "And if you have to remind yourself every day, or know why that deeply, then why do you need to be tied -- with a material thing?" RSC: Because G_d in Heaven knew that unless you tie yourself every day -- for instance food you need every day,, for strenght -- Same with tying. Every day you need to tie again START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 27 OF RSC MS. AA5 !The beautiful thing about life is that it starts alway a million times a day.! So the beautiufl thing is that my tying yesterday doesn't affect me today. I remember that I tied yesterdy but it doens't tie mt to it yesterday. The holiness of life is that everything [ recurs continually ]. You know, imagine G_d could have made it such a way, that once a life we put on tfilin, one a life is Yom Kippur, once a life is ShaBat, once a lifetime we eat. QUESTION [THE QUESTIONER IS APPARENTLY 'JUDY'. SEE BELOW.] : "No I understand that. What I mean is, with what do we tie ourselves?" RSC: So that's the whole thing. The secret of tfilin is, is when we put on tfilin, something happens to you that you have the strength to tie yourself to something. That means you're a person who's living on the level of ties. And if you -- I mean who am I to say it -- but according to us, if you don't put on tfilin you're a little bit -- your ties are not so strong. You're not so much of a tie person. [ Well, this is a very gentle way of expressing the orthodox position on tfilin. ] START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 28 OF RSC MS. AA5 RABBI LEIBOWITZ: "Judy wants to know what happens to women?" [ I think that this -- the question of how women establish the spiritual link which for men is established by tfilin -- was only the secondary force of an essentially metaphysical problem -- resolving the paradox of establishing a spiritual link through a physical medium. (sa) ] RSC: That's a very deep thing. I want you to know something utmost; listen to this. About women's lib you know. I'll tell you something very strong. !First of all a woman, if you feel -- imagine you wake up one morning and you feel if you put on tfilin you'll tie yourself more to to G_d, go right ahead and do it you know. The thing is only that women are not obligated.! [ This is of course standard halacha, but present-day orthodox and ultra_orthodox custom barely tolerates it. ] Because imagine you have a baby crying you say, 'Listen baby damn you I got to put on tfilin.' Doesn't go you know. Cause it's more important [ to take care of the baby than to put on tfilin ]. I want you to know first of all something very very deep. Two things: First of all: According to the Zohar women are much more on the level of ties than men. Women are more faithful than men you know. They're more on the level of ties you know. In a very deep sense you know. I'm sure when you look around there are more women who are faithful to their husbands than husbands to their wives. Because women have this holiness of faithfulness. START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 29 OF RSC MS. AA5 Reb Nachman talks about it in a very deep sense: You see, Eve was created already on the afternoon before Shabos. So the rays of Shabat were there already. So she was created --- actually the last thing G_d created in the world was woman not man, you know. So it means her creation comes from a higher place. So she has this holiness of ties anyway, you know. But if you feel like doing it [ putting on tfilin ] you can but [because you are a woman ] you don't have to. But I'll tell you something else very deep. Somoene says to the holy PHYSKER , what do you think of divorce-ing, you know. So he says like this: that the thing is that the husband, if they're momish togther -- Let's put it this way. You know the truth is that every -- believe it or not every person really has a soul mate somwhere, as much as we see people walk around -- [ in "the madding crowd" of "all the lonely people" ] Everybody has a soul mate you know. And its momish like ateam. And they have to do something together. He says: The truth is, G_d gave the women a few things to do and the men a few things to do. Whatever they do they really do for each other. The means the truth is: When the husband puts on tfilin, if they're with it, she feels it also. And she is like feeding the baby, which is the greatet mitzva in the world at this point, you know. So she's doing it and he's doing it also you know. START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 30 OF RSC MS. AA5 So the whole thing of divorce is: If at one moment they're not together any more, that they don't feel what each other is doing, the greatest mitzva is to get divorced, because how can they live without doing the things they have to do. (eaa5-13) (eaa5-13) [ As_it_is_said, "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle." (1970s Graffiti in and around Harvard Square, Cambridge, Massachusetts ) ] That means, a person in order to live has to do both, what the women is doing what the man is doing. Otherwise I'm not complete. So the whole thing of getting married is that I have a soulmate, she's doing her thing, I'm doing my thing, between the two of us we're complete. That means if a man sits and learns all night, and the woman said how come I'm not learning, it's not true. START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 31 OF RSC MS. AA5 Lets say, Avraham and Sarah. Top couple in the world. I'm sure they were the most together in the world, right. Obviously you know. Avraham was doing things. R.L.: Just coincidently, the PHYSHISKER would try and bring them back together. RSC: Yeah sure. You know, do you know the story, famous story about the holy Physhisker, His wife -- and everyobdy thought she's a bitch. Anybody wanted to see her husband she made them so much trouble, you know. Tried to talk them out of it you know. So everyobdy said you know, oh what a bitch. OK, so nobody said anything. But then, at her funeral, the holy VORKER says. I want to tell you somethimg: Do you know that the holy Physhisker, when anybody came to him, so he would say, before you even talk, whatever pain you're suppoed to have, I accept it upon myself. Then he'd start talking. You know, the holy Physhisker had nebach, had I think 14 or 15 children died. Only one son was left you know. And this was only because people came to him and they said my child is sick. Momish he would say G_d forbid. If a child has to be sick, better my child than his child you know. START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 32 OF RSC MS. AA5 So she said I was so afraid. I didn't want people to talk to him because I didn't have KoaCH anymore. I had one son left. I didn't hace KoaCh anymore, you know. Gvalt you know. Then he says something very strong you know: When it comes to putting on tfilin or davening -- Imagine if we could really for five minutes leave this world behind us. What paradise you know. What a paradise. Becuase the world is so beautiful but if you're drowned one inch too deep it becomes so petty you know. !Heaven is never petty. Heaven is always big. Hell, the lower you get the more petty you got.! First you fight over an inch, fight over less than an inch. You know what the RIZHENER says: A person becomes less beause of a sheva pruta Play on words. Let'sput it this way: When you have a million dollar business, when you're signing a contract, you're with it. You know what you're doing. He says: But isn't one minute [ in Paradise ] more than all the business in the world. So -- Be with it. START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 33 OF RSC MS. AA5 And then hesays: Whatever you do , when you doven, when you put on tfilin, for those few minutes, say the words, right, do it, right. [ or: do it right . But I think the sense is just 'do it', and 'right' here, as usual, serves for RSC merely as punction, like n'est-ce pas ] Be with it, and just do it. And then this is very strong you know: One thing which we always forget, its not only to serve G_d, to believe in G_d. It's a very very big thing: to annihilate myself before G_d. It's such a strong thing. [ They are alternative ways of punctuating the above remark, which lead to somewhat different meaning. So what RSC means here can't be ascertained without the tape. ] RABBI LEIBOWITY: I have trouble when you use that word 'annihilate'. RSC: Listen brther if I would know what it is I would do it you know. I'm just telling you that there is such a thing. Annihilation before G_d means, for one minute momosh know thst there really is only one G_d. I'm here just a little while you know. On the level of the highest existence only G_d is really existing, right. Only thing is -- in 'HIS' goodness, 'HE' gave me 'HIS' existence. But I don't know how to do it myself you know, otherwise I would do it. But the strong thing momish, for one minute, just momish know that there is only one G_d. START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 34 OF RSC MS. AA5 It clears you out so much, gives you so much strength. I'll tell you something very deep: IF you don't know what to do, THEN IF, for one minute, you annihilate yourself before G_d, and THEN IF you come out of it, everything is so clear to you. (eaa5-15) The strongest soul washing is a little bit annihilation. Because we are so much you know 'I' and again 'I'. And even in a holy wy. Am I good. Am I bad. Am I Jewish. Am I not. Am I a human being. Am I not. Am I this. Am I that. But always 'I' you know. Forget yourself for a minute. Then something very strong. When you put on tfilin you're tying your mind to G_d . START FLYING EDIT O FPAGE 25 OF RSC MS. AA5 The mind tying to G_d has to be on the highest level. Because the truth is, how much are we using of our minds. Very little. But we are talking about minds tying to G_d. I don't mean my little mind that figures out how much ten and ten is. Mind tying means the depths of my mind, all I'm capable with. And if I tie this to G_d, it momish helps me to open my mind. It's really true you know. I'm taking my mind, I'm tying it to something. At least I touched my mind, I did somthing with it. Something which I don't do all day long. Then he says: The most beautiful thing is if you can say every day a little bit thilim (Psalms). It's very strong. Even just read two passages in the Psalms. There shouldn't be a day without connecting yourself to thilim because thilim, the Psalms is the prayers --- Remember I told you from Reb Nachman: All the prayers which have been prayed and will be prayed till the end of generations, they're all included in the Psalms. Which means when you read the Psalms you connect yourself to all the prayers of the world. This is very deep you know. When you pray you momish have to connect yourself to the prayers of others, you know. In fact you have to say, you know -- There's another hasidische saying that says: You have to come to G_d and say I'm a delegation of the world. I'm talking to YOU. START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 36 OF RSC MS. AA5 Lkke this one Renbe said like this, you know: Someone comes to the King and they ask him, who are you, you know. Kvais, Moshela you know. Never heard of you. Then kvais , I'm a delgeate of the United States, something else you know. [Not any more it ain't. ] He say, the same to G_d , you know. When you come to G_d says I'm Moihslea, you know. Yeah we know Moishela but he ain't no good, you know. Then he says I'm a delegation of the whole world to talk to YOU. Gotta listen. So when you pray you can make yourself a delegate of the world then they have to listen. ( Then he says soemthimg very strong, you know. Also very strong and I don't know if I'm doing it but I wish I would, you know. We always understand that before you meet people you have to look clean, right. How about washing your face before you talk to G_d, you know. Got to look clean too, in 'HIS' Presence, very clean. I mean, the most clean thing is to go to the mikveh every day, but even if you dan't, at least got to be very clearn. He says, if you want to know, if all day you remember that there is One G_d, If you forget, it depends what you did while you prayed, right. If while you prayed you were with it all the way - - START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 37 OF RSC MS. AA5 Listen to me: If I meet somebody and two hours later I forget that I met them, the meeting wasn't so strong, right. But if I meet somebody and it just like all day long lingers in my mind, I really met them. If I pray and all day long I feel it, then I really did. Then he says something very strong you know: OK, you talk much about G_d , you know. We are gadding about (TEXT: g_dding around ) but what do you know about G_d . What do you know about G_d. The saddest thing is how can you expect yourrself to have contact with somebody you don't know. Listen, the first thing if I meet somebody and I love them I like to know who they are, right. He says, how come you don't want to know who G_d is. Why don't you study. Why don't you get into it. Then he says: Don't you know we have such a holy tradition momimsh given over to us becuse G_d told us really who 'HE' is, so why don't you get to it. Why don't you learn. The he says: I want you to remember all the time: Between paganism and G_d worhship its so thin its even less than a hair. START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 38 OF RSC MS. AA5 If you want to know if your prayers were real look at what's the first word you utter after you finish praying. [ "Breakfast!" ] If right after you finish praying you say something stupid, then you werent so high, right. But if after you finish praying you find it hard to talk about mundane things, means you were with it. On the whole, before you start doing something you should momish say to G_d, please, have compassion. Let me finish what I'm beginning. He says: A person has to work on himself so hard to do things less for himself and do things more for the thing itself. That's the hardest thing in the world, you know. Ah, then he says something very strong, you know: When you say '' Echad, G_d is One, don't kid yourself. he says. If you're still a pagan you momish can't say it. If you want to test yourself how pagan you are, how real you are, when it comes to say '' Echad, G_d is One, how much do you feel it, that really G_d is One. If it momish gets you G_d is really One, you're with it. Say G_d is One so therefore you know. START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 39 OF RSC MS. AA5 You know I was telling the kids last night: The service of G_d is momish a deep things. To know that there is One G_d is the deepest depth there is. It's not kid stuff. You know the saddest thing in the world: Everybody understands, everything is deep, atomic power is strong and this is strong. But when it comes to G_d it's kid stuff. It's just so deep. Ah, something very strong, simple as it is: If you want to know how much, when you say G_d is One, how much it meant to you, then you walk out after you pray and you go to your business. How much do you get angry at stupid things. You walk out from the synagogue and the first thing you can do is yell at somebody, then forget it, you know. You walk to your business and right away, your secretary didn't put the [ Memo ] right in the middle of the desk, and [ you utter a cutting remark with a snide quip on the side, Clyde. ] And then the most important thing he says: Please don't lose touch to realize what you're really here for. Even when you're standing in your business doing your thing. You're not here to make business. You're here for deep things. To correct your own soul. To fix your own soul. START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 40 OF RSC MS. AA5 Only thing is, for one reason or another G_d wants you to do business also. To expand your soul into that kind of world also. Then he [ Reb Nachman, Source not stated ] says very very important: !Before you go to sleep, the last few seconds, you really should think of deep things, you'll sleep much better.! (eaa5-q) Like crazy, you know, a world who is watching the Late Show before they go to sleep and then then they go to sleep and its heartbreaking you know, and then they need two more pills. If they could momish clear their minds. Oy! I have to tell you one sweet thing: You know the question of good and bad is not the question of good and bad so much. The quedtion is always of being and not being. If you are good, if you are holy, you are there. If you're more holy your're more here [ ms. sic, 'here'] . Holy means the utmost of being here. G_d is called holy because 'HE''s momish all over, right. 'HE'''s really there. 'HE''s completely, completely there. But then imagine there's a palce where G_d isn't, Then -- depends from where do you know that G_d is. START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 41 OF RSC MS. AA5 If you only know that G_d is becuase you know 'HE' is, then maybe he isn't. But if your of knowlege of knowing that G_d is is from such a deep level that there is no such thing as not being, So 'HE' isn't. Yeah. Let's say if I only know you when I see you in front of me, right. That means while you're in front of me your're really existing. If you're not looking at me, I'mn not looking at you, then I don't know who you are right. There is such a thing. So if you're not there you're really not there right. But if I'm connected to you on a much deeper level than 'you're sitting here or not sittting here', so you're not here, who cares. [ I have just about no idea what the last few paragraphs meant. (sa)] A lot of people always need proof that here is one G_d [ at a minimum, but one will do (sa)] They have to see G_d, they have to see the sworld. Sometimes G_d does a little bit wrong [ No; that's polytheism (sa) ] so they're angry, You know, G_d isn't. But if myconnection to G_d is on a deeper level, then even if I come to a point where momish I could swear there is no G_d, you're still there, right. [ ms. 'your' is lower_case, but transcriber does not in general capitalize pronouns for Deity, so in sum I ain't clear if this 'your' is merely the protagonist, or is the Supreme Being ] But now what about me, you know. My humble self. You know. , in a certain deep way, you known, non_being is the utmost of Being -- because, when there's nothing there I can do anything in the world, right. [ No; quite wrong. (sa)] START FLYING EDIT OF PAGE 42 OF MS. RSC AA5 You know, if you make plans already its very sweet. I'll tell you somethng very very deep: If I meet somebody and I know exactly what I have to do with them, that's a very low level. If we just meet, I don't know what we have to do, I just met them, you know. Its so deep, you know: Whatever we do we'll do, you know. I'll tell you something very deep, on a very low level: Imagine kvais, I tell somebody I'ld like to take you out to a theatre. So I'm not so sure if she wants to go with me or maybe she wants to go to the theatre --- she says yes, you know. Knock off the theatre, right. But if I meet someone and I say I want to see you, you know. What will we do. Who knows. Maybe we won't do anything. Who cares, you know. !So it's always the non_plans, the non_being is much deeper than anything finite.! TRANSCRIBER NOTES: END OF SIDE 2 OF TAPE END MS. AA5 ================================================================ NOTES ARE DEEP6'd TO =scsaEaa5 ================================================================= sa, Campra, 1 June '05 -- tiferet sh'b YESOD -- 23 AIYaR -- 24 Rabi al' Thaanay -- a pleasant cool spring day, green almost to the top of the treeline. ===============================================================