=scaa5a
Working title =scaa5a ... b ... 
Final title =sc_aa5
Type input of RSC Ms. AA5

Heading only:  "Another Tape, San Francisco Summer 73, perhaps
Sunday"                                 

The seems to be one in a series of RSC talks hosted by Rabbi
Leibowitz.   


This cluster of transcrips also includes Ms. AA5 , AA4, AA3, AA2
At some point the party moves to Jerusalem, and that's Ms. AA1

Ms. AA7 is December 1974.  All the rest of this cluster is Summer
1973.


The transcriber for all these Ms., except maybe AA1, is the usual
one, from the handwriting
Don't know who.  Maybe Illana Rappaport (Schachter) but that's
just a guess.

No further Provenance Info on Manuscript.
(Provenance is in Rhode Island)

=================================================================

START PAGE 1 OF RSC MS. AA5

ANOTHER TAPE, SAN FRANCISCO SUMMER 73 PERHAPS SUNDAY

I'm serving G_d.  And if I'm not on the level

[ in USA slang of RSC's time, "on the level" meant, bona fide, in
good faith -- I think though that here that is just an undertone,
not the primary intended meaning.  Though that undertone fits well
here.  ]

then I'm going through the motions.  I mean, it's
very holy.  I'll be rewarded for it, in heaven,
but it isn't.  
Heartbreaking.  

Ah, this is very beautiful.  
Listen to this:

If I look sad, momish I walk in
here what happens to the person sitting next
to me.  They feel a little bit uncomfortable, right.

[ This point is developed more fully in =sh_onjoy , The Tora of
the Little Piece of Ham, a talk given at Another Place Farm Sunday
December 6,  1981.  It happens to be the first RSC teaching I
transcribed.  It is commentary on a passage from Reb Nachman.  It
begins, (to paraphrase):  If I walk down the stairs and steal a
little piece of ham from the stewpot, this is a retail sin.  But
then if I walk in to give my teaching looking like a hangdog, this
is a wholesale sin -- how dare I bum out the whole universe. ]
    
Here is the text, which is included (in W.EXE format,
EinstienWriter) in =learning.zip on my primary Website,
www.geocities.com/sa73122a

START EXCERPT, RSC, =SH_ONJOY , edit sa 

( I use 3-dots ... only to indicate ellipsis, that is, to indicate
that I omit some text spoken by RSC .  I do not use 3 dots to
indicate a ... well- , if not over- -bred pause ... as they used
do in San Francisco , in the Reign of Caen at the Chronicle:

There is "retail sin" and "wholesale sin".
A "retail sin" is, like, let's assume I was coming here, and I was
too hungry, and let's assume there was a piece of ham lying there,
and nobody was looking, who'll know that I took it {0a}, running
up to my room, eating a little ham ... Let's assume it was a
terrible sin; it was a little retail sin.

[But] when I'm sad, that's not a retail sin, it's a wholesale sin. 
It's affecting my whole being.

 ... [If I eat] a little piece of ham and I come down, and Emmy 

#l2

[Emmy is Emmy Rainwater, co-host of the seminar, with Medicine
Story {Wampanough Tribe, Martha's Vinyard, in Massachusetts'
territory recently occupied by the USA}]

#L1

didn't notice that I stole it, nothing happens.  [But if] I walk
down sad, every person that looks at me gets the creeps.  I change
the vibrations of the world. {1} It's not merely a wholesale, it's
a world [sin] ... And who am I to commit a sin against humanity,
against the whole world.

So again, the moment you go into the service of G-d, the moment
you decide to become a perfect human being, at that moment it has
to be clear to you that the greatest sin in the world is to be
sad.  And he [R. Nachman] says, hold on with your last strength to
be happy.  You have to feel like you're drowning in the ocean, and
you have just one piece of wood to hold onto, and the name of that
peice of wood is joy.  You have to fight with your very life. 
Because if you're not filled with joy, you're absolutely drowning.

END EXCERPT
-----------------------------------------

RESUME INPUT OF PAGE 1 OF RSC MS. AA5

Why do they feel uncomfortable.  

Even if they
love me a lot they'll overcome all those uncomfvortable
feeling and just say, you know, got to stick it
out.  He's my friend.  I've got to stick around
while he's crying.

But this doesn't go, right.

Imagine I'm sitting her momish and laughing
like the holy ROBSHITZER .  Luaghing my head off.
so everbody will feel so comfortable, right.
(aa5-2)

Why.  Its very simple.  Hey brother - See, he's
doing his serving G_d with joy while I'm doing
my thing.

RABBI LEIBOWITZ:
"You don't feel uncomfortable when someone
laughs hysterically?"

RSC:
If it's stupid laughter.  [ But not ] if its holy laughter -- 
I said, like the ROBSHITZER , not like Red Button[s]
in Miami you know.  Yeah brother.
-------------------------------------------------------------
START INPUT OF PAGE 2 OF RSC MS. AA5

So he says something very strong:

Imagine if I'm
standing here, you if someone would let
me look down into the abyis, to the abyis of the abyss.
(AA5-3)

Very uncomfortable, right.  Frightening.
(aa5-4)

So the
truth is, when you see a person sad, at that
moment you're momish confronted with
nothingless.
(aa5-5)

You see that this person is just
struggling betweeen being and non-being.
(aa5-6)

Imagine
if you see one foot I'm standing on the roof, 
the other foot is just about gevalt, you know, 
hanging down.  I can, G_d forbid ---- 

[ 'slip off my hypothesis onto my ass', 
is, I believe, the intended meanaing if not necessrily
phraseology'.]  

You say
listen, do me a favor.  You make me nervous,
you may be the greatest acrobat in the 
world.  Put your second foot on the ground.  I'm 
afraid to see it right. 
(aa5-7)
(aa5-8)

Or if you want to do
it I just don't want to see it, right. 
(aa5-9) 

So 
when someone is so sad --  
but he says:
You've
got to realize -- the same thing with G_d. 
 
[ Without the tape, from which to tell meaning from inflection, I
have to guess at how to punctuate the preceeding ]

Very
strong.  When I'm walking around sad, you
momimish make G_d uncomfortable you know.

I mean G_d says, listen, I love you
I'm your G_d you know, promised you , you
know. signed a contract on Mt. Snai.  I'll
stick it out 

be with you 
[ transcript sic, but maybe: 'beneath you' ], 

but I really don't feel comfortable
(aa5-10)      
------------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 3 OF RSC MS. AA5

with you, you know.  

I'll tell you something
very very deep: 
(aa5-11)

Imagine -- when you smile
your're filled with joy.  When you look at somebody
momish they look back at you.  When you
momish cry they can't look back at you really.
(aa5-12)


Momish they try but they can't look back at
you.  Like to say we cried eye to eye you know.
Just doesn't go you know.  You can smile eye 
to eye but you can't cry eye to eye.  

So you
know:
We know this world is just a little
mirror of heaven, right.  You have to realize
its very beautiful when you cry but its not 
really.  You make G_d feel uncomfortable about 
it.  Not so good.
(aa5-13)


QUESTION:
[ Questioner not identified.  From a remark on Ms. Page 5, it
appears to have been someone named Chana. ]

"I don't understand.  Crying is such a pure,
such a beautiful confrontation with 
(The Divine NAME) and [ also with] other people."

RSC:
It depends how you're crying, you know.
You can cry with Being.  You can cry with 
Nothingness, you know.

I made it very clear
I'm not talking about crying in general.  I'm 
talking about -- right -- 'aTzvOT -- Atzvos-  This
dead kind of sadness.

Listen:
Rosh HaShana
Yom Kippur we're crying all the time.  It's the
------------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 4 OF RSC MS. AA5

holiest tears, right.  Imagine if someone will
come up to you and says, you know, I love you
so much, really I want to be the greatest 
freind to you, crying while he's saying it.
You know, open your heart in a thousand 
ways. 
(aa5-14) 


But if someone comes up and cries and 
says, you know, I was in the beauty pallor 
(aa5-15g)

sniff sniff.  And they created me, bo hoo.  And
I paid five pounds boo hoo hoo.  
(aa5-16)

You know,
what do you feel then, you know.  Say its
a beatufiul confrontation, you know.  Oy vey.
And even if this woman is your mother,
right.  And you really love your mother just
you can't stand what she says, right.  You 
say ok, you know.  Oy vey.  You pet her on the 
back.
(aa5-17a,b)

RABBI LEIBOWITZ:
"What about, what about deep sadness 
coming from things that G_d caused to 
happen to you.  If G_d wants you so much 
to be happy -- why doesn't 'HE' help you.  
I mean you said 'HE' feels very uncomfortable.
(aa5-18)

RSC:
OK, I want you to know something very 
strong.  Listen to this.  But remind me to
--------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 5 OF RSC MS. AA5

come back:

The holy TRISKER MAGID

[ Transcriber notes that Rabbi L. remarks in the background --
"He'll never get back to it" , and that RSC replies "We'll come
back" ]

The holy TRISKER MAGID -- 
You know . We're
always accustomed just to rattle off the prayers.
We think if it says it in the prayer book we've
got to say it.
(aa5-19)  


The Trisker Magid you know aws
so real, One Selichos he didn't go to say
Slichos.  You know Selichos is the Saturday night
before Rosh HaShana we say special prayers.
(aa5-20)                   


His hasidim aked him what happened.  He says
we begin selichos we sa,y G_d, you were right,
and we are ashamed.  You are right, whatever
you did and we are ashamed, whatever we did.
That year wert a few pograms there all over,
you know.  He said, I just can't say it.  Sorry,
G_d, I can't say it.  Taka a gevalt momish you
know. 
(aa5-21)

So, this is very good, you know.  Means
every word you utter it was momish real.  Like
momish he couldn't say G_d is right, couldn't
say it.

But anyway, he says like this.
Coing back to the smiling face.
I'll tell you something
very deep you know, because, like you said
Chanala about tears.  There is a very
--------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 6 OF RSC MS. AA5

big difference between crying before somebody,
or crying about something you know.  If I'm
craying before G_d, it's the holiest hting.  Maybe
'HE''s crying with me, you know. But I'm
crying about something and I'm telling it to G_d, not
so good.
(aa5-22)

Got to cry before G_d, you know.  

But 
anyway, the most important thing is, yxou have
to know if you're shinning below, here, G_d
is shinning.  
(aa5-23)

You see, all this is delicate, you 
know.  Its not ultimate and yet there is
someting to it, you know.

He says:
If you smile below here, then G_d smiles back at you 
from ahove.
Something very holy going on 
between you and G_d .

I wnat you to know something very very deep you know.  
Sometimes no so much.
The world 'sadness' is not a
good translation.  The word 'Atzmos' 

[ The transcriber puts a horizontal line over the the o in Atzmos,
presumably indicating that the accent is on that sylAble ]

RABBI LEIBOWITZ:  "Melancholia"

[N.B. -- 'Melancholia', is a medieval or anyhow pre-modern term,
seems to to correspond to the modern term 'depression'. ]

RSC:  No no.  I's even deeper than that.  Atzmos       
actually means to shut yourself off. 
(aa5-24)

RABBI LEIBOWITZ:  That's melancholy.

RSC:  I don't know whatever you call it in
English but -- 

RABBI LEIBOWITZ:  Sorry, that's the language I've been speaking
----------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 7 OF RSC MS. AA5

lately.

Transcriber notes that a lady remarks;  "Wow, you're weird."

RABBI LEIBOWITZ:  "You finally found out.  I only know you 24
hours."
(aa5-25) 

RSC:  Yeah brother .  I don't think its that word.  Yeah, but its
not that.  It is but -- 

R.L.:  But that's the implication of 'melancholia'.  You do shut
yourself off.


RSC:  I understand, you're sitting there mopeing away.  
There is two kinds of sadness.  There is 
'medEvas' , which is bitterness, which is living
sadness.  And 'atzmOs' is dead sadness.  Dead 
sadness.  
   'Bitterness' is, 'I wish I could do better'
you know.
(aa5-26)
Gevalt, why didn't I do better.
(aa5-26a)	  

It's 'I' didn't do it right you know.
(aa5-27)

Why didn't I
do better.  Just knowing I didn't do good enough.
I'm sad.  This is living sadness.  And then I walk
out from there and I want to do better.  

And then
the deepest thing is, the difference between 
MedEus and AtzmOs, the BAAL SHEM TOV says, is
very simple:
If after you cry you see another
person do you love them or do you hate them.
If you cry, it's a living kind of cry, then
every person looks so beautiful to you.  You
think:  'I'm not so beautiful but he or she is so
-----------------------------------------------------------------
                                          
START PAGE 8 OF RSC. MS AA5

beautiful, right.  I'm so happy with them.  But if you
have this dead kind of sadness, then everyobdy
looks ugly to you, you know.
(aa5-28)

You've seen sometimes 
you cry you look out the window and
see all thosr disgusting crestures walking down
the street you know.
(aa5-29)


So this kind, this kind of
crying, you now doesn't, just, G_d can't look
at you either you know.
(aa5-30)	


Then he says somrthing
very strong:

If a person wants to know
what level is his joy, you know.  Very simple:

If your level of joy is it momish -- makes you
One
(aa5-31) 


You see you havae to realize one thing.  If I feel one with the
world, because I feel the oneness
of G_d.  so if I walk around and I say I'm
filled with joy but I can't stand people, that
means so its not G_d joy.
(aa5-32)  

But then he says
also very deep:

If it really -- the joy is coming 
from such a high place, very very deep you
know, if it doesn't make you stupid you know.

Some people think -- Oh, I'm in such a good mood
today I've got to tell you a dirty joke.  So
good today you know.  
(aa5-33)

If this is how deep it
touched you, it brings out all the garbage you
had piled up for the last few years, then its
------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 9 OF RSC MS. AA5

not the joy we're talking about, right.

He says:
If it comes momish 
(aa5-34)	

from a very high level -- 

You see, you
have to realize one thing:  

The highter its coming
from the deeper it goes, right.  Like a 747 goes very 
deep you know.
(aa5-35)

If it doesn't reach you that 
deep it doesn't come from that high.

Then he says,
this is something way out, most probably true:

Everybody knows in their own way.  If you want to
know if you have this living kind of sadness or
dead kind of sadness, he says: 

When you are in 
the dead kind of sadness, deep down, you raally
think, you really think
(aa5-36) 
there is no G_d .  Think the
whole thing is a fake.
(aa5-37) 

If, even if this is only for
one split-second you'll test yourself, you'll see,
[ If you are in the pits, you will see yourself thinking]
Acch, you know G_d, who needs G_d.  Who is G_d
The whole thing is a fake.
(aa5-38)	

That means at that
moment you really reached the bottom of dead
sadness.
(aa539) 

Therefore he says:
Keep away from it, as
far as you can.

Sometimes, he says, you walk
in the street and suddnely you're so happy,
you don't know why. He says, because at that
moment they declared in Heaven, to give you
sometihg.
(aa5-40)

  Even it might be a hundred years
from now.  But your soul heard it and was 
----------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 10 OF RSC MS. AA5

happy.  This is very deep.  How can you understand
what's going on if you're sad.

Then he says
something more beautiful.  He says:

Tears open
the gates but joy breaks down the walls.  That's
a gevealt.  If you want to know if you haven't
lost yet the wholeness of your soul  -- remember,
we aleays talk about it -- :

I have a soul and
then there is the allness, the wholeness of me.
Ig a person wants to know if I still have this wholeness, very
simple.
(aa5-41)

If I do something and 
I'm completely happy with it. 
(aa542)

Becuase joy
comes from that wholeness of me, you know.

See, as much as I'm sad when I'm missing
something, outside of me, I'm also sad you
know if I'm missing something a little
part of my soul. 
(aa5-43)

It isn't there you know.
How can I be completely happy if part of
me is missing.
(aa5-44)  

(aa5-44a)
[ If anyone tells me once more than I maybe don't have a soul, I'm
going to join the Jesus Freaks just so I'm sure that I at least
have a spare.   

but if Im completly
happy, if I can for one moment feel this
complete joy, that means my soul is still
complete.
(aa5-45)

Then he says the strongest vitamin
is joy, because joy makes you strong in 
a million ways.  Physically, mentally,
spiritually.  Momish makes you strong.
----------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 11 OF RSC MS. AA5

Then he says again, there's all kinds of strength
you know, imgine kvais imagine I could eat 
dog food and be strong.  Also maybe strong. But
then the hightest, the highest lebel of strength which
a person neefs to live in this world, this is joy.
(aa5-46)ÿ


Like its man(??) joy.  Not just joy you know.  Cause
the whole world is filled with joy. the highest
level of joy.

Then he says something very beautiful:
If someone asks you [for advice], [then] when you give
them a real real true advice, 
(aa5-47)

[eg, "Jump in a lake." ]

it fills you with
joy.

      
Now he says something very crazy:

If 
you walk in the street and suddenly you're
very happy its because somewhere in the
world a very holy soul was born.  Way out [ in the outback mayhap]

He says:
When you tell stories about holy people,
you tell other people that there is holy people in
the world, it fills you with joy.

Ah, this is very deep:
Se were talking Friday and 
other times so much about KavoD you know.

What's the utmost of a person's own revelation.
When do I reveal myself the most.  
(aa5-48)


Like my
KovoD, my honor is shineing from one corner 
of the word to the other.  

He says:
The utmost of KavoD is when I'm happy, you know.
----------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 12 OF RSC MS. AA5

When this holy joy fills me.  Ther is something
about a person you know, the real holy
honor surrounding him -- because joy comes
from such a high place and KavoD comes
from such a high place.  

If you don't understand
something he says I guess you're deep deep down
sad.  
(aa5-49)

[ the transcript is punctuated "something he says" , which makes
this a comment by RSC , but maybe it should be punctuated,
"something, he says: " , in which case RSC is merely translating
another remark by Reb Nachman .  The latter fits RSC's style, the
former doesn't. ]


Ah, he says:
What does it mean to be
happy with what you're dong.  

Everyone
says I'm happy with what I'm doing.  What 
means happy.  

Happy means:  If I'll never
do anything again, and if I'd only be born
and hang around this world 80 years just
for this one thing, I would do it; that's called
I'm happy with this one thing.  
(aa5-50)

And if you can be on the level with every mitzva you're
doing you're on that level, to feel if I
would only be born for this one morning
to put on tfilin, if I was just boRn for
this one ShaBaT would have been enough, that's
called joy.

R.L.:  "So why doesn't it make you sad that 
you don't have another one of those?"

RSC:  But then G_d will give you another one,
you know.  Listen, I tell you what.  You
-----------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 13 OF RSC MS. AA5

know if G_d feels you're good -- G_d is
a merchant, right, selling Shabos.  If its good
to do business with you, you know. 'HE''ll make
another deal.

RABBI LEIBOWITZ:  "I want that in writing."

[ It is.  V_ShoMRU BNeI YiSRAeL AeT Ha_ShaBaT ... BeYiNI B_BeIN
BNI YiSRAeL AOT HiYA L_'OLaM ]

RSC:  
Oh, this is momish very deep:
Remeber we were
talking all the time there is such a thing as
AeMeT, there is such a thing as truth, and there
is such a thing as believeing.  He says:  Real 
joy is a combination of truth and believing.
Momish deep.  This is momish real
with me if I believe that what I know and if
I know what I believe, AeMeT and AeMuNaH they
both work together strong inside of me, complete
in that, then I'm filled with joy.  
Says
momish very deep.  If my joy comes from 
AeMet & AeMuNaH , truth and belieiving, then it's
called Jewish joy, holy joy.  Otherwise it's
called pagan joy.

Hey brother, strong.  Maybe 
the UJA banquiet wasn't so good after all.

OK, he says, how do you know how deep the joy
reaches you.  He says if it momish makes
you get up like mad and dance like mad
that means it reached your feet.  Otherwise.
--------------------------------------------------------------

START PAGE 14 OF RSC MS. AA5

it didn't reach you compeltely yet.

Then he says 
something very storng.

Um -- You know Reb 
Nachamn always talks about imagination
He says that if you're sad, it's not that you
have sad imagination.  Whrn you're sad your
imagination isn't real.  Because imagination is
flying, right. 
(aa5-51) 

And if you're sad, you're so happy
you can't fly, you know.  Can imagine
you're flying but the whole thing of imaginig
flying, even that is impossible because you're
too heavy.                        
(aa5-52)

But if you're filled with joy then you
have momish wings and you can fly.  

He
says, the gretest joy in the world is when a
person is really his own judge.  If person can
sit down and really like spy on himslef to know
what he did, what he has to do better, that
means he is momish in touch with himself.
(aa5-53)

Most of the time we do things, we live through
them but we just -- then we read in the
newspapers we did it.  But I never tell myself.
It's much better if I hear it from myself.  Very
deep you know.  Somethinh happend to you 
and then your best friend hears it from
somebody else that you did it.  They're angry.
----------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 15 OF RSC MS. AA5                                 

Can you imagine how angry my soul is that
I never told my own soul what I'm doing.
What else.

Now he says something very strong.  What 
did the snake really do to Eve you know.
(aa5-54)

How
did the sanke get through to her.

He says the
snake made her sad.  

He says wow, you
can't eat this tree you know.  And he started
being so sad.  He says at the end he says 

[ Who -- the Snake or Reb Nachman ]

I
want you to know that all this talk is all meaningless because how
could I tell you to be happy.  He says it's up 
to everyone.  But I'm jmst egging you you 
know, be happy.

QUESTION:  (Transcribe notes:  Not heard)

RSC:
No, if you love other people, if everyobdy is ok
to you you're filled with joy, you know.

I want you to know:
The Baal Shem Tov
says -- this is very strong -- that when I'm 
filled iwth joy I can meet my biggest enemy and I love him ,
right.  
(aa5-55)

Because I
don't give a damn.  He hates me -- ehh -- who 
care, you know.

R.L.:  "I wish I could be that happy."

RSC:  Yeah, i know what you mean.  But if I
can walk around and still  [ to my mind ] 'this one hates
------------------------------------------------------------------- 
                                       
START PAGE 16 OF RSC MS. AA5

(I marked this page of the Ms. "Pt. 2" but that was merely for my
convenience in photocopying the set I borrowed from BZ."

me; this one like me', you're not filled with joy
obviously because otherwise I wouldn't care.  

He says:
Why does G_d forgive us on Yom Kippur
everytjing we did wrong.
Because there's so much joy, right.
(aa5-56)	

So we say to G_d, Listen, I 
did this, 'HE' says ok, you did it, who cares
you know.  Then we say G_d, you know we're 
planning to do wrong again this year.  'HE' says
OK.
(aa5-57)

We were talking about Heaven and hell.

[This is clearly a reference to a previous lecture by RSC, but I
have no idea which one, nor whether it is preserved in any for by
any person. ]

We have it here in front of us.

[So this is clearly a reference to the Text by Reb Nachman that is
under discussion in this lecture, but I don't have any of the
texts of Reb Nachman at hand, and ain't familiar with them anyhow,
so I can't guess which text is being referred to. ]     

It say:
If someone reads Krias Shema, SheM'a , if someone 
says in the morning, twice a day or three times a day
(aa5-58) 
you have to say Hear Israel, the LORD our G_d, the LORD is One.
He says:
If someone says it and he's momish uttering
the letters properly, then he says, like, they
cool hell for him, you know.
(aa5-59) 

If he's supposed 
to be in hell, they cool it for him you know.
(aa5-60)
Put an air_conditioner in.
(aa5-61)

OK.
Now he says:
Those words [ of the Kriyat Shma ] have to be understood very
deep.                              
'Cause you have to understand he says that:
What is hell.
Hell is the utmost of non_being.
The utmost, the utmost of Being is the Torah
-----------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 17 OF RSC MS. AA5

right.  G_d's word is the utmost of being.  And if
you're not conne t4ed to the Torah, if you're not
connected to G_d's world, you're not being.   
[ or: "you're not_being" ]
(aa5-62)
Less
and less and less.

But he says:
Even in saying
G_d is One, also its very deep. Even that can
be on the level of non_being if you're not saying 
it really and I'm putting my heart into it.
(aa5-63) 

You
know, , I can like walk on the street 
(aa5-64)
and give
a Yidala kvais a nickel, but if I'm not
doing it, if I'm not MEDACHDIK , if I'm not
saying the letters properly, if I'm not doing
completely then also my being is not there
completely.
(aa5-65) 

QUESTION (Questioneer not identified -- Sounds like Billy the Kid,
famous Chicago Assistant Prosecuter or some such, before he went
to Eretz Israel and started digging trees .)
"Shlomo, why give just a Yidala a nickel."
(aa5-66)

(aa5-66)
When he was a college student, my father used to answer the
telephone, "It's your nickel, you speak first."
So one day the voice at the other end of the line said, "Do you
know who this is?  This is the Dean of the College."
My father replied, "Do you know who THIS is?"
The Dean replied, "No --- "
"Thank heaven!" said my father, and slammed down the phone.

RSC:
Anybody, did I say yidala.  Yeah, ok, listen
you know me better than that, right.  Yeah, brother.
       
[ In other words, RSC is underlining the halacha that we are to
give tzdaka to all who ask, not just to fellow Jews. ]

Now listen to this:  You know, I think I told 
you once:

Someone stopped the BELZER Rebbe on
the street and asked him, What time is it.  So
he says its now kvais, he says, let's say,, It's 
17:20 and 4 seconds.  Someone says to him,
isn't that a little bit too much. 
(aa5-66a)


So he says, you don't understand:
The most important
thing in the world is, whatever you do, do 
----------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 18 OF MS. AA5

it complete. Absolutely complete.  Someone asks 
you what time it is, do it complete.
(aa5-67) 

You know, Heaven and
hell is not just, I mean obviously its not just
somewhere.  Heaven and hell  It is you know.  But
the more I'm doing it completely, the more I'm
our of hell.  If I say SheM'a YiTRAeL 

[ Script sic, Tav not Sin 
So in short, entries in Hebrew script are apt to be inaccurate. ]

G_d is One
and I do it in the most complete complete
way, at that moment I'm out of hell, because
Ø
I''m really there.  I'm completely with it.  If 
I'm saying it half, I'm half out of hell.
(aa5-68) 

So he says like this:
If I say it and I'm only uttering
the letters, its also good.  At least hell gets cold, right.
But if I'm saying it with all my heart, then
I'm completely out of it.  

You know, we never know 
what kind of a favor we do ourselves when
we do something complete at that moment.
Very strong thing, you know.

Another word to 
remember:
Heaven is completeness and hell is
incompleteness.  
You know, it's very strong.

Sometimes, lately a lot of people will talk to me,
kvais, people get married, you know.  If its
not completely Heaven, then its like a little
bit Hell right.
(aa5-69) 

If they're not completely together
it's a little bit hell in it.
(aa5-70)	

And if there's a
----------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 19 OF RSC MS. AA5

little bit hell in it it's bad you know.  Got to be
completely with it.

Then he says one thing
its very beautiful at the end he says:

One is always complete.  Two is never complete.
Cause its already two, you know.  How 
complete can it be if its two.  One, momish complete.
(aa5-71)	

Oy oy. 

Give me a little SHULCHAN ARUCH.  Let's learn something straight.
TRANSCRIBER NOTES:  TAPE INTERRUPTS
TRANSCRIBER RESUMES WITH AN ELLIPSIS ...  INDICATING LOST TEXT
The resumed text appears to be a continuation of the discussion of
(Reb Nachman's odd notion of ) hell.  
So I guess the Shulchan Aruch had not got laid on the table.


 ... times to myself.  That means when someone
talks to you and you're not paying
attention you're putting them through hell you
know.  Because they are confronted with your
nto being there, with your absence.
(aa5-72)

This is hell, right.

[Wrong; its the everyday world. ]

But if you have the strength to
be completely there you're putting them at that 
moment into Heaven.  Completely attatched.

TRANSCRIBER HERE ADDS AN ASTERISK, AND NOTES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE
PAGE:

"So you really have to know how to listen."
You're right, so etc.

THE TRANSCRIBER ADDS THE ETC. but I don't know what sort of etc.
yet.

I told some kids yesterday you know -- 
I mean we all are in it.  I know I myself am
very bad in it.  You know what we're 
doing.  Imagine kvais Meir is here.

[ I assume that would be Meir Fund. ]

I'll say listen
Meir let's talk a little bit. Then suddenly
Judy will walk in, I say, wait a minite (minute),
-----------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 20 OF RSC MS. AA5

I've got to talk to Judy.  Then Judy comes in,  I'll
say Oh wait wait wait, got to talk to Lebowitz.
Then I'll say, Oh I've got to talk to !!CHATZKALA!!

[ And here, doing an unbilled Guest Star walk_on, is, I reckon, 
Chatzkala Sasson, famous Sofer, Chief Assistant Postmaster of the
Moshav Mevo Modi'in Central Post Office, to whom we are indepbted
for having preserve this transcript, and much other RSC material.]

you know.  You know, it's a bad scene, right.
You're talking to Meir, talk to >Meir.  Talk to 
Judy, talk to judy.  

But that's what we're doing
all the time you know.    We're doimg it all the 
time.  


Kvais, I want to daven now.  Then suddenly
I'll think I've got to do this, got to do this.
And this is momish like, it means even if
I do something and I finished doing it this
is beause nothing happened that I could do
something else in the meantime. But it means
I'm never with anything.  

So he [ Reb Nachman, I presume ] says:
The 
most important thing is in the nmorning -- this 
is a little bit about waking up in the morning.

He says:
The first thing is, one of the first
things,  you have to decide when you wake
up in the mornng, today, whatever I do, 
I won't be distracted, do something else.  
Very
very important.  

That means:
Because everybody
is always thinking -- what I have to do today.
You don't know what you have to do today
becasue you're not a prophet.  But one
-----------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 21 OF RSC MS. AA5

thing you have to momish determine in your own
heart.  Whatever happens that's what I'll stick
to it you know.  Got to do it.

TRANSCRIBER NOTES:  SIDE 1 ENDS
TRANSCRIBER NOTES:  SIDE 2 [ BEGINS ]

You know, its very strong if you can 
do it.  If you wake up before dawn and you
know you have to go back to sleep because you're
too tired.  If you can learn one word, one
line you know.  Very very holy.  Because it's a very special time
you know.  it's a
time between Heaven and earth.  It's a time
between time you know. 
(aa5-73)
       

Tell you something deep.
In a crazy way you know,
I remember
that, this Conservative Rabbi you know.  It was
a whole big thing:      

I was supposed to give a
song at his shul.  And he just didn't like
me all the time, so he didn't.  Its nischt.
But then crazily enough I met him in the
airport in Budapest.  And suddenly he was
very friendly because he had nobody else to
talk to, he was so happy with me you
know.  

You know what it is.  If you
meet someone, even if you don't care for
-----------------------------------------------------------------
                    
START PAGE 22 OF RSC MS. AA5

them so much, but if you meet them somewherr
in between flights you get very close you know.

You know, you can never get as close to day 
and night as when you meet them in between
you know, at the airport there.  Day goes this
was night goes the other way a few minutes
a little airpot there.  So when you meet day
and night they're at the apricot airport and
you're there and you're learning one word
that means you're receiving from there very deep.

R.L.:  "Is it evil that distratcs you, it tells 
you do this do that.  You have to do this ---  "
(aa5-74)              

[ No it ain't, and that's a stupid question.  sa ]

RSC:  Sure, because evil doesn't mind you doing
ten thousand things; evil doesn't want you
to do the one thing right.

I'll tell you something very strong:
Like someone said to me you know
it's very easy to be married to eighteen 
women, it's hard to be married to one you 
know.
(aa5-75) 
You know there is something to it you 
know.

GIRL:  "Shlomo, in the Pirkei Avot it talks aobut
if you're on the way and you're studying 
Tiorah and if you see a tree, or a bird
-----------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 23 OF RSC MS. AA5

and you say how beautiful that tree is, how
beautiful that bird is, it's a sin?"

RSC:  G_d forbid.  That's a very bad translatino.  It's 
good that you bring it up, OK.  

I'll tell you
what .  This is momish a tora from Reb Ncahman,
a whole tora of Reb Nachman was based on that
you know.

You see it says: HaLIMeD M_PSQ
he cuts himnself off from his learning.  

Now
what it means on a simple level:  

I'm learning
right and then suddenly I see a tree 
(aa5-76)


(aa5-75a)
[ Must have been one of those fast-growing potseeds I put in the
flower pot when the cop come by to ask if had I license to sell
that cow. ]

and
suddenly I think what I was learning has
nothing to do with the tree, right.  I say, it's 
a beautiful tree, then I'm momish dead.  Because
if what you're learning doesn't connect to the
tree, then you weren't learning G_d's word
right.  

He momish -- MPSQ means to cut off
you know.  If I'm learning G_d's word
and it cuts me off from anything in the
world, then I wasn't learnign right.  I don't
kmow what you were doing.  

This is the ordinary 
translation.  But Reb Nachman says momish
way out.  I'll tell you later, OK?

REJOINDER, PRESUMABLY FROM THE CHICK WHAT ASKED THE QUESTION:
"It's very pertinent; we're talking about
distraction."                                               
(aa5-76)
(aa5-76a)

[ A rather elegant point, a bit of a meta.  This chick is maybe a
mathematician from away across the Bay. ]

(aa5-76a)
[ So OK, what we got us here is:
PiRQeI AvOT 3:7  (Metsudah Siddur, Ashkenaui)

Rabbi Yaakov says:  One who walks on the road while he is stuying
and interrupts his study to exclaim, How beautiful is this tree. 
How fine is this field' the Scrpture regards him as if he sins
against himself."                               

PiRQeI AvOT G:Z 
 ... RaBI Y'aQov AOMeR :
Ha_M__Ha_LeKh B_DeRReKh V_ShONeH V_M_PsIQ M_MShNaT_O V_AOMeR 
"MaH NAeH AILoN ZeH, NAeH NIR ZeH" -- M_'aLeH 'aLIV Ha_KaTUv K_ALU
M_TChIV B_NeFeSH_O


So the word in question is
V_M_PsIQ  M_MShNaT_O                
translated here "and interrupts his study"

RSC recalls it imprecisely as;
HaLIMeD M_PSQ
                                          
RSC then seems to focus on 'cut off' , not merely as cutting off
one's study, which is what the text seems to me to say, but
rather, as being in some sense cut off from the world, or his
soul.

And that seems to me an interesting but forced reading.
So I'm not sure that RSC's apologetics to nature lovers for this
passage will work.

And I must say, I'm rather bored with orthodox apologetics, I find
more spiritual depth in starting from the assumption that the
sacred scriptures are revealed through human agency, and hence apt
to include errors.

Incidentally, a field ain't inherently beautiful, so someone who
remarks on the beauty of a field would seem to be thinking of its
financial or anyhow agricultural value, and that would be a bit of
bringdown form studying Mishnaos or whatever.

On the other hand, if (as is my impression) the tree in question
is specified as an Israel oak (Alon), and if accordingly a fruit
tree could not have been the designata, then 'how beautiful is
this tree' refers only to its aesthetic and spiritual aspects.



-------------------------------------------------------------
                     
START PAGE 24 OF RSC MS. AA5
                          
RSC RESUMES:
I'll tell you what you have to do.  I'll tell you
somehing very very strong, believe it or not:

What is the whole idea of putting on tfilin
in the morning on your hand.  

The whole idea
is that I'm tying my hand to something, right.
(aa5-77) 

Because the whole thing is, eberybody can do a
lot of good things but unless you tie yourself 
to it you won't finish it.  Just can't.  You've got
to tie yourself.  It's very very strong.    
(aa5-78)

The two most important mitzvas of the day is tzittzit and tfilin. 
And both are everything there is.  

QSheR SheL TFiLIn QSheR   It's the tying, right.  Tzittzit,
filled with ties.   Anything you do and if you're
not tied to it, then you do it, it passes you
by but you're not with it completely.  Got to
tie yourself to it.  And the strength to tie myself
to something is the whole idea of tfilin
you know.

You know, I can think of G_d all
day but unless I put the tfilin on, I tie
myself to G_d with ties, it's nothimg, right.
Very very strong you know.

Listen to this.  I
want you to know something very beautiful.

Kosher is 3 letters, Q Sh R (Quf , Shin , Resh )  And it says
you know, SHEKAR , SheQaR lies also.  Its means
----------------------------------------------------------------
                                     
START PAGE 25 OF RSC MS. AA5

its the same letters, Quf, Shin, Resh.  That means you have
free hcoice.  Or you're tied to it completely, or the
whole thing is a lie.  

[ This is a free choice?
"So he organized the angels, and led them out on strike."]
(aa5-78a) 
(aa5-79) 

But now listen to this:

In the Zohar Kodesh it says
QoReSh QSheH Ha_MuiShQaN 
the walls of the Holy Temple, QoReSh you know , 
the beams.  

That means like this:
If you tie yourself , then you momish stand like a 
beam you know.  Momish you become one of 
the walls of the Holy Temple.  But if you
don't, if you don't tie yourself , you end
up with lies you know.  

That's very very 
stong you know.  Takes a lifetme to work on
it you know.

APPARENTLY A QUESTION:
"Yeah, but the truble is people don't want
to tie themselves to something unless they get 
paid in advance."

APPARENTLY RESPONSE BY RSC:

So they didn't tie themselves to the thing; 
they tied themselves to money.  So at least
they're tied to money, you know.  It's
something you know.

APPARENT RIPOSOTE:
"Spiritual benefits."
                  
RSC RESPONDS:
That's a bad scene, yeah.

THE NUDNIK PERSERVERS:
"What if you forget why you were tied?"
                      
RSC RESOLVES THAT ANXIETY:
That means you weren't tied you know.

----------------------------------------------------------------
                          
START PAGE 26 OF RSC MS. AA5

Hey listen.  If you don't remember who you are
married to then you weren't married, right.

Tell you something very deep:
You know, a boy
writes a litter to a girl --  He says, I proposed to you
last night and I forgot what you said.  So she
said --  Oh, I remembered somebody proposed, I
couldn't figure out who it was, you know.

You know, that's what it is, you know.  If I don't
know, then the thing doesn't know, you know.

The question is always wherr its coming from, 
you know.  
If it touches your heart, you
remember it.  
If it doesn't touch you, you forget
it.

THE QUESTIONER PRESSES THE POINT:
"What I'm trying to say:  that if you tie yourself --
let's say the tfilin -- if you do it every
day, how do you remind yourself while you
are tying it?"

RSC REPLIES:
Then you're tying it to tie.  That's the strongest
tie there is, that's a doublr tie.

QUESTIONER:
"And if you have to remind yourself every
day or know why that deeply, then why do
you need to be tied?  with a material thing?"

RSC:
Becauas G_d in Heaven knew that unless
you tie yourself every day, like for instance
--------------------------------------------------------------
                   
START PAGE 27 OF RSC MS. AA5

food you need every day strength, right.  Same
wit tying.  You need tying every day again you
know.  Strong thing.

!The beautiful thing about life
is that it starts alway s a million times a day.!

So the beautiufl thing is that my tying yesterday
doesn't affect me today, you know.  I remember
I tied yesterdy but it doens't tie mt to it
yesterday.

The holiness of life is that everything --
you know, imagine G_d could have made it
such a way, once a life we put on tfilin,
one a life is Yom Kippur, once a life is ShaBat,
once a lifetime we eat.

QUEASTION [THE QUESTIONER IS APPARENTLY JUDY.  SEE BELOW.] :
"No I understnd that.  What I mean is,
with what do we tie ourselves?"

RSC:
So that's the whole thing.  The secret of
tfilin is, is when we put on tfilin something
happens to you that you have the strength
ùto tie yourself to something.  That means
you're a person who'sliving on the level of
ties.  

And if you -- I mean who am I to say
it -- but according to us, if you don't put on
tfilin you're a little bit -- your ties are
not so strong.  You're not so much of a 
tie person.

[ Well, this is a very gentle way of expressing the orthodox
position on tfilin. ]

RABBI LEIBOWITZ:  "Judy wants to know what happens

[SO EVIDENTLY THE PREECEEDING QUESSTIONER HAS BEEN JUDY]
(aa5-80)

-------------------------------------------------------------

START PAGE 28 OF RSC MS. AA5

(I had marked this page of my Ms. "Pt. 3", but again, that was
just because I had to break it into 3 parts to put on the
automatic feed of the Xerox machine at the Modi'in shopping
center.)

women?"                   

RSC:
That's a very deep thing.   
I want you to know something utmost; listen to this.
About women's lib you know.
I'll tell you something very strong.

!First of all a woman, if you feel --  imagine you
wake up one morning and you feel if you put
on tfilin you'll tie yourself more to to G_d, go
right ahead and do it you know. the thing
is only that women are not obligated.!  

[ This is of course standard halacha, but present-day orthodox and
ultra_orthodox custom barely tolerates it. ]

Because imagine you have a baby crying you
say, 'Listen baby damn you I got to put on
tfilin.'  Doesn't go you know.  Cause it's more
important [ to take care of the baby than to put on tfilin ].

I want you to know first of all
something very very deep.  Two things:

First of 
all according to the Zohar women are much
more on the level of ties than men.  Women
are more faithful than men you know.  They're
more on the level of ties you know.  In a very
deep sense you know.  Like you look around
you know, I'm sure when you look around
there are more women who are faithful to 
their husbands than husbands to their
wives.  because women have this holiness
of faithfulness.

Reb Nachman talks about it in a 
------------------------------------------------------------------
                         
START PAGE 29 OF RSC MS. AA5

very deep sense:

You see, Eve was created already
on the afternoon before Shabos.  So the rays of 
Shabat were there already.  Xo she was created --- 
actually the laxt thing G_d created in the world
was woman not man, you know.  So it means
her credtion comes from a higher place.  So she
has this holiness of ties anyway, you know.  

But 
if you feel like doing it [ putting on tfilin ] you can but [
because you are a woman ] you don't 
have to.  

But I'll tell you something else very deep.

Somoene says to the holy PHYSKER , what do you
think of divorce-ing, you know.  So he says like this:
that the thing is that the husband, if they're momish
togther -- 

Let's put it this way.  You know the truth
is that every -- believe it or not every person 
really has a soul mate somwhere, as much as
we see people walk around-  Everyobody has a
soul mate you know.  And its momish like a
team.  And they have to do something together.
(aa5-81)  

He says, the truth is G_d gave the women a few
things to do and the men a few things to do.
Whatever they do they really do for each other.
The means the truth is when the husband 
puts on tfilin, if they're with it, she
feels it also.  And she is like feeding the
---------------------------------------------------------- 
START PAGE 30 OF RSC MS. AA5

baby which is the greatet mitzva in the 
world at this poinz you know.  So she's doing
it and he's doing it also you know.  

So the
whole thing of divorce is, if at one moment
they're not together any more, that they don't
feel what each other is doing, the greatest
mitzva is to get divorced, because how can
they live without doing the things they have
to do.
(aa5-82) 

That means, a person in order to
live has to do both, what the women is doing
what the man am do .
[ text reads: 'is doing'  How about 'am do too'? No? Nu? ]

Otherwise I'm not
complete.

So the whole thing of getting married
is that I habe a soulmate, she's doing her
thing, I'm doing my thing, between thr two
of us we're complete.
(aa5-82)
(aa5-82a

So this is one thing.  This
is very strong you know.
But again, you
know.  Meaning to say, you know, its taka
a gevalt.

That means if a man sits and
learns all night, and the woman said how
come I'm not learning, it's not true you
know.  
Very strong you know.
(aa5-83)

You see we don't
have any idea.
(aa5-84)

Can you imagine, taka lets
say Avraham and Sarah you know.  Top 
couple in the world.  I'm sure they were
----------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 31 OF RSC MS. AA5

the most together in the world, right.  Obviously
you know.  Avraham was doing things.

R.L.:  Just Coincidently, the PHYSHISKER would try 
and bring them back together. 
    
RSC:  Yeah sure.  
You know, do you know the story,
famous story about the holy Physhisker, his
wife -- and everyobdy thought she's a bitch.
Anybody wanted to see her husband she
made them so much trouble, you know.  Tried
to talk them out of it you know.  So everyobdy
said you know, oh what a bitch.
OK, so 
nobody said anything.  But then, at her funeral, the holy VORKER
says. I want to tell
you somethimg:  Do you know that the holy
Physhisker, when anybody came to him, so he would
say, before you even talk, whatever pain you're
suppoed to have, I accept it upon myself.  Then
he'd start talking.  
(aa5-85)

You know, the holy Physhisker
had nebach, had I think 14 or 15 children
died.  Only one son was left you know.  And this
was only because people came to him and
they said my child is sick.  Momish he would
say G_d forbid.  If a child has to be sick, better
my child than his child you know.
(aa5-86)  
So she
-----------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 32 OF RSC MS. AA5

said I was so afraid.  I didn't want people to
talk to him because I didn't have KoaCH anymore.
I had one son left.  I didn't hae KoaCh anymore
you know.
Gvalt you know.

Then he says
something very strong you know:

When it 
comes to putting on tfilin or davening, you
know, whibh is so strong, you know.  

Imagine
if we could really for five minutes leave this
world behind us.  What paradise you know.
What a paradise.  

Becuase the world is so
beautiful but if you're drowned one inch too
deep it becomes so petty you know.  

!Heaven is
never petty.  Heaven is always big.  Hell, the 
lower you get the more petty you got.!  
First
you fight over an inch, fight over less than
an ich.

You know what the RIZHENER says:
A person becomes less beause of a sheva pruta
you know, he becomes less.  Play on words.

Let's
put it this way, you know:
When you habe a 
million dollar business you know, when you're 
signing a contract, you're with it.  Know what
you're doing, right.  He says, but isn't one
minute [ in Paradise ] more than all the business in the 
world you know.  Be with it.

And then he
-----------------------------------------------------------------

START PAGE 33 OF RSC MS. AA5

says:
Whatever you do , when you doven, put on 
tfilin, for those few minutes, say the words, right,
do it, right.  

[ or:  do it right .  But I think the sense is just 'do it', and
'right' here, as usual, serves for RSC merely as punction, like
n'est-ce pas ]

And be with it, and just do it. 

And then this is very strong you know:

One thing which we always forget, its not only to serve
G_d, to believe in G_d.  It's a very very big
thing: to annihilate myself before G_d.  It's such
a strong thing.
(aA5-87) 

[ They are alternative ways of punctuating the above remark, which
lead to somewhat different meaning.  So what RSC means here can't
be ascertained without the tape. ] 

RABBI LEIBOWITY:  I have trouble when you use that word
'annihilate'.
(aa5-88) 

RSC:  Listen brther if I would know what it
is I would do it you know.  I'm just telling 
you that there is such a thing.  Annihilation
before G_d means, for one minute momosh
know that, thst there really is only one G_d.
(aa5-89)	

I'm here must a little while you ,now.  On 
the lebel of the highest existence only G_d is really
existing, right.  
(aa5-90)	

Only thing is -- that this high 
existence of G_d 'HE' gave me, you know, in
his goodness.   Gave me 'HIS' existence.  But
its, I don't know how to do it myself you
know, otherwise I would do it.  But the strong
thing momish, for one minute, just momish
there is only one G_d.  There really is only                    
(aa5-91)
----------------------------------------------------------------- 
                               
START PAGE 34 OF RSC MS. AA5

One G_d  
It clears you out so much, gives you
so much strength, you know, just -- 

I'll tell you
something very deep:
If you don't know what to do
you know, and for one minute you annihilate
yourself before G_d and then you come out of
it, everything is so clear to you.  
(aa5-92)

The strongest 
soul washing is a little bit annihilation.  Because 
we are so much you know 'I' and again 'I'.
And even in a holy wy.  Am I good.  Am I 
gbad.  Am I Jewish.  Am I not.  Am I a human
being.  Am I not.  Am I this.  Am I that.
But always 'I' you know.  Forget yourself for a 
minute.  

!Then [ commenting on Reb Nachman, I think, but Source not stated
] something very strong you
know:

When you put on tfilin you know, because
tfilin is momish like you're tying  your mind
to G_d you know.!  The mind tying to G_d
has to be on the highest level.  Because the truth
is, the truth is how much are we using up of
our minds.  Very little you know.  But we are
talking about minds tying to G_d.  I don't mean
my little mind that figures out how much
ten and ten is.  Mind tying means the
depths of my mind, all I'm capable with you
know.  And if I tie this to G_d, it momish
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START PAGE 25 OF RSC MS. AA5

helps me to open my mind.  It's really true you
know.  I'm taking my mind, I'm tying it to
something, at least I touched my mind, I did 
somthing with it.  Something which I don't
do all day long.

Then he says: 
The most beautiful 
thing is if you can say every day a little bit
thilim (Psalms).  
It's very strong.  
Even just read
two passages in the Psalms.  There shouldn't be 
a day without connecting yourself to thilim
because thilim, the Psalms is the prayers --- 

Oh -- 
Remember I told you from Reb Nachman:
All
the paraers which have been prayed and will
be prayed till the end of generations, they're
all included in the Psalms.  
Which means
when you read the Psalms you connect yourself 
to all the prayers of the world.  
This is 
very deep you know. 
When you pray you
momish have to conntect yourself to the prayers
of others, you know.
In fact you have to say, 
you know -- 
There's ohter hasidische saying
that says you have to come to G_d and say
I'm a delegation of the world.  I'm talking to
YOU.                                        

Lkke this one Regbe said like this, you know:
Someone comes to the King and they
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START PAGE 36 OF RSC MS. AA5

ask him, who are you, you know.  Kvais, Moshela you
know.  Never heard of you.  Then kvais , I'm a
delgeate of the United States, something else you know.

[Not any more it ain't. ]

He say, the same to G_d , you know.  When you come
to G_d says I'm Moihslea, you know.  Yeah we know
Moishela but he ain't no good, you know.  The he
says I'm a delegation of the whole world to talk
to YOU.  Gotta listen.

So when you pray you can
make yourself a delegate of the world then they have
to listen. 
(aa5-93)

Then he says soemthimg very strong, you know.
Also very strong and I don't know if I'm doing it
but I wish I would, you know.

We always understand
that before you meet people you have to look clean,
right.

How about washing your face before you
talk to G_d, you know.   Got to look clean too, in
'HIS' Presence, very clean.  

I mean, the most clean
thing is to go to the mikveh every day, but even
if you dan't, at least got to be very clearn.
He
says, if you want to know, if all day you
remember that there is One G_d,  If you forget, it depends what
you did while you prayed, right.  If while
you prayed you were with it all the way -- 

Listen to me:
If I meet somebody and two
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START PAGE 37 OF RSC MS. AA5

hours later I forget that I met them, the
meeting wasn't so strong, right.  But if I meet
somebody and it just like all day long lingers
in my mind, I really met them.

If I pray 
and all day long I feel it, then I really did.
(aa5-94)	

Then he says something very strong you know:
OK, you talk much about G_d , you know.  We 
are g_ding around, but what do you know
about G_d .  Whst do you know about G_d.
The
saddest thing is how can you expect yourrself
to have contact with somebody you don't know.

Listen, the first thing if I meet somebody and I
love them I like to know who they are, right. 

[ Quite so.  She said, You better get up and go before someone
comes home and introduces us. 
But that was in the good old days. ]

He says, how come you don't want to know who
G_d is.  Why don't you, why don't you study.
Why don't you get into it.

Then he says:
Don't you know we have such a holy tradition
momimsh given over to us becuse G_d told us
really who 'HE' is, so why don't you get to 
it.  Why don't you learn.

The he says:
I want you to remember all the time --  this is very
strong: 
Between paganism and G_d worhsip its
so thin its even less than a hair.  Less than
a hair.  Betweeem being a pagam amd being a 

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[ Tel Aviv beachfron salesperson of glatt kosher herring learning
the laws of advanced snias 14 hours a day wearing  a black suit in
the chamsin sun rather than romping about with all those
thong_wrapped maidens in the surf, Murph'  (Cows Defend Us!) ]
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START PAGE 38 OF RSC MS. AA5

G_d man.  If you want to know if your
prayers were real look at what's the first word you
utter after you finish praying.

["Breakfast! ]

If right after you
finidh praying you say something stupid, then
you werent so high, right.  But if after you finish
praying you find it hard to talk about mundane 
things, means you were with it.  

On the whole,
before you start doing something you should momish
say to G_d, pleasr, have compassion.  Let me finish
what I'm beginning.
(aa5-95)  

He says:
A person has to work
on himself so hard to do things less for himself
and do things more for the thing itself.  That's the
hardest thing in the world, you know.  

Ah, then he says something very strong, you know:
When you
say '' Echad, G_d is One, don't kid yourself
he says.  If you're still a pagan you momish can't
say it.  if you want to test yourself how pagan
you are, how real you are, when it comes 
to say '' Echad, G_d is One, how much do
you feel it that really G_d is One.  Momish
gets you G_d is really One, you're with it.
Say G_d is One so therefore you know.  

You know I was telling the kids last night, like, the
service of G_d is momish a deep things.  To know
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START PAGE 39 OF RSC MS. AA5

that there is One G_d is the deepest depth there is
you know.
(aa5-96) 
It's not kid stuff.

You know the saddest 
thing in the world;
Everybody understands, you
know.  Everything is deep, right.  Atomic power is
strong and this is strong.  But when it comes to 
G_d it's kid stuff.
It's just so deep.

Ah, something very strong, simple as it is:
If you want to know
how much, when you say G_d is One, how 
much it meant to you, 
(aa5-97)
then you walk out
after you pray and you go to your business.  How
much do you get angry at stupid things.  You
walk out from the synagogue and the first
thing you can do is yell at somebody, then 
forget it, you know.  You walk to your business
and right away, your secretary didn't put the
sheet right in the middle of the desk, you know, 
and you blow.

[ Perhaps we should rephrase that. ]

And then the most important thing
he says:

Please don't lose touch to realize what
you're really here for, you know.  Even
when you're standing in your business doing
your thing but don't forget what you're here
for.  You're not here to make business.  You're here
for deep things.  To correct your own soul.  Top
fix your own soul.

Only thing is, for
-------------------------------------------------------------
		
START PAGE 40 OF RSC MS. AA5

one reason or another G_d wants you to do business
also.  To expand your soul into that kind of world
also.

!Then he [ Reb Nachman, Source not stated ] says very very
important:
Momish, before you go to sleep, the last few seconds, you
really should think of deep things, you'll sleep
much better.!

Like crazy, you know, a world who
is watching the Late Show before they go to sleep
and then then they go to sleep and its heartbreaking
you know, and then they need two more pills.
If they could momish clear their minds.  Oy!

I have to tell you one sweet thing:
You know the question of good and bad is not the
question of good and bad so much.  The quedtion 
is always of being and not being.  If you
are good, if you are holy, are are there.  If 
you're more holy your're more here [ ms. sic, 'here'] .  Holy
means
the utmost of being here.  G_d is called holy
because 'HE''s momish all over, right.  'HE'''s really
there.  'HE''s completely, completely there.

But then
imagine there's a palce where G_d isn't,
you know.  Then -- depends from where do you know 
that G_d is.  If you only know that G_d is
becuase you know he is, then maybe he isn't.
But if your of knowlege of knowing that G_d is
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START PAGE 41 OF RSC MS. AA5

is from such a deep level that there is no such thing
as not being, So 'HE' isn't.
(AA5-98) 
Yeah.

Let's say if I
only know you when I see you in front of me,
right.  That means while you're in front of me 
your're really existing.  If you're not looking at me,
I'mn not looking at you, then I don't know who
you are right.  There is such a thing.  So if you're
not there you're really not there right.  But
if I'm connected to you on a much deeper level
than 'you're sitting here or not sittting here', so 
you're not here, who cares.  

A lot of people
always need proof that here is one G_d
(aa5-98a)

[ at a minimum, but one will do ]

they have to see G_d, they have to see th4e sworld.

Sometimes G_d does a little bit wrong
(aa5-99)

[ No; that's polytheism ]

so they're
angry, you know G_d isn't.  But if my
connection to G_d is on a deeper level, even
if I come to a point where momish I could
swear there is no G_d, you're 

[ ms. 'your' is lower_case, but transcriber does not in general
capitalize pronouns for Deity, so in sum I ain't clear if this
'your' is merely the protagonist, or is the Supreme Being ]

still there, right.

But now what about me, you know.  My
humble self.  You know in a certain deep way, 
you known, nonbeing is the utmost of being
because, when there's nothing there I can
do anything in the world, right.
[ No; quite wrong. ]
(aa5-100)

You know,
if you make plans already its very sweet
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START PAGE 42 OF MS. RSC AA5

I'll tell you somethng very very  deep:

If I meet
somebody and I know exactly what I have to
do with them, that's a very low level.  If we
just meet, I don't know what we have to do,
I just met them, you know.  Its so deep, you know:
Whatever we do we'll do you know.                 

I'll tell you 
something very deep, on a very low level:
Imagine 
kvais, I tell somebody I'ld like to take you out to
a theatre.  So I'm not so sure if she wants to go
with me or maybe she wants to go
to the theatre --- she says yes, you know.  Knock off the
theatre, right.  But if I meet someone and I say
I want to see you you know.  What will we do.
Who knows.  Maybe we won't do anything.  Who cares,
you know.  

!So it^s always the non_plans, the 
non_being is much deeper than anything finite.!

TRANSCRIBER NOTES:  END OF SIDE 2 OF TAPE
END MS. AA5
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NOTES ARE DEEP6'd  TO =scsaaa5
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