=scaa4a
Retype input of Ms. scaa4
Header.  San Francisco, Sunday July 3, 1973

The seems to be one in a series of RSC talks hosted by Rabbi
Leibowitz.   


This cluster of transcripts includes Ms. AA7, AA6, AA5 , AA4, AA3,
AA2
At some point the party moves to Jerusalem, and that's Ms. AA1

Ms. AA7 is December 1974.  All the rest of this cluster is Summer
1973.

The transcriber for all these Ms., except maybe AA1, is the usual
one, from the handwriting
[ this transcriber has neat handwriting, writes on a lined pad,
makes errors in Hebrew script, and ofen spells 'level' as 'leval'
]
Don't know who.  Maybe Illana Rappaport (Schachter) but that's
just a guess.

No further Provenance Info on Manuscript.

This manuscript is listed in my inventory of the Witt collection.
(=inv0494a + =inv0494b)
Those invdocs are included in =in94964.zip, which is on my
Website, www.geocities.com/sa73122a , /sa73122 , /sa73122c

------------------

Here is my listing of these mss.:

From =inv0494a
INVENTORY OF R. SHLOMO MATERIALS, Rev. 4/25/94

SET AA:  Original handwritten Ms. in 3-Ring binder, consecutive

         6/90:  Returned from ZF to HS, both Meor Modi'in.

AA1  4 -- Orig -- Arthurs Tape 1 Side 1 & 2 Israel Summer 1973
AA2  36   Orig    Tape 2 Side 1 Jerusalem Summer 1972 (?-qv ms.)
AA3  38   Orig    Tape 9 San Francisco Summer 1973 Thursday
AA4  23   Orig    San Francisco Sunday July 3, 1973
AA5  42   Orig    Another Tape, San Franciso Summer 1973, perhaps
Sunday
AA6  18   Orig    San Franciso Summer 1973 Sunday Tape 2 pp18
AA7  23   Orig    Miami Dec. 26, 1974  Tape 6a

--------------------------


Notes will be Deep6'd to =scsanaa5 or some such; Caveat Lector,
Hector, viz.:  Caveat Tabbycat (=Snias Alert), Caveat Blackhat (my
perspective is eclectic, and my practice is not orthodox). 

I do not intend to affront nor confront anyone's religious nor
personal sensibilities, and offer my apologies (that's
apologetics, Critics) insofar as I do so.  

That said, I think there's a lot of good material amidst a lot
more shtuyot in these notes.  It's rather like going out shopping,
at least in galutz if not to the shuk -- you may pass some things
that you'd rather not look at.

I dash off these notes to let off steam, and have not re-read
them, not even to correct typos.  A fortiori, I ain't attempted to
edit much less reconsider whatever I said.

I am practically illiterate in Jewish studies. I can barely read
Hebew script, so somoene must correct my transliterations.

I find now that I understand very little of what RSC says.
Somewhat as with Wittgenstein's Philosophical Investigations, the
problem is less one of understanding what he says, than of
understanding why he says it.

In my opinion, the next step in working with this material is for
somoene familiar with the texts which RSC is teaching , to insert
the appropriate passages from those texts in these transcriptions. 
With appropriate notes as well.
This applies especially to the recorded writings and sayings of
Reb Nachman.

Again:  I make no claims upon this nor any other RSC material that
I have worked on, but acknowlege that others may assert such
claims.
I do ask that anyone using it, and anyone modifying it, indicate
my filename in Source information, primarily for a sort of 'audit
trail' to serve as check on errors.
                                          
----------------------------------------------------------
sa, Campra, 29 May '05 -- malkut sh'b' HOd
         
------------------------------------------------------------- 

EDITORIAL NOTES:

I try to start each line where it's started on the ms.
But sometimes I break it early and start a new paragiraffe, in the
interests of like enhancing clarity. 

A paragiraffe is an outstanding paragraph.

I am still struggling to unlearn all the rules of grammar I
learned in 8th Grade English Class at Belmont Junior High School.

And somtimes I alter the punctuation of the ms., because
punctuation is like Dealer's Choice.
=================================================================
=============================================================== =

START PAGE 1 OF RSC MS. AA5

It's possible to do everything right and with
great fire but you forgot the most important
thing, you know.

!There's a very strong saying
that this world is like a wedding.!
(aa4-1)

Imagine,
they did everything at the wedding, the dancing,
the eating.  The only thing is, he forgot to 
put a ring on her finger, right.  It's a small
$thing, right.  TAkes only one second, you know.
Timewise, since we did everything else, so he
didn't put the ring on her finger.  What difference
is there.

People, a lot of people, do everything
right but this one sweet little thing they forgot 
to do.  
(aa4-2)

And everybody has this one sweet
little tihng which is the most importnat
thing, which they forgot.  G_d forbid.
(aa4-3)

So whenever
a person is doing anything he always has
to think, you know, penetrate.  Am I
doing , even while I'm doing right, with
this doing right am I doing this most
import thing.

Very strong, you know.

Those two contradicitons are the strongest really
which a person has to know all the 
time.  

On the one hand I have to know I'm
-----------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 2 OF RSC MS AA4

like everyobdy else.  On the other hand, I have to know
I'm so special there's only one like me in the 
world.
(aa4-4) 

On one hand I have to know I haven't
begun yet to serve G_d.  On the other hand I have
to know I'm doing so much, you know.  
Strong.

Only thing is, we have to know exactly when
to think and what to think at that paricular
moment.  

There are moments I have to know
I didn't do anything yet.  If at that moment 
I think oy I did so much, bad scene, right.
There are moments I have to know I'm 
exactly like veryone else.  If at that moment
I think I'm better than somebody, so this is the 
hardest thing in the world.
(aa4-5)       

(aa4-5)
{ This sounds like the Sufi slogan, from HIK I assume:  "Democracy
of the ego and aristocracy of the soul."}

Now listen, something very strong:

When G_d told us,
I am the LORD your G_d [ lst of the 10 Commandments ]
it was in singular
not plural.  Cause really, no one can teach
me about G_d.  Can teach me everything but
you know its like the ring.  Only the groom
can put the ring on, you know.
(aa4-6)


Listen, he says
I hired musicians, I'll hire someone to put the
ring on you know.  

When it comes the
most most important thing, you better do it
yourself.  

And the same way, when it comes  
---------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 3 OF RSC MS. AA4

to knowing G_d, you know, I can read books 
about everything in the world, someone can
teach me.  When it comes to the one thing,
knowing there is one G_d, it is just G_d and
me.
Very very strong you know.

The strongest
thing is that nobody can teach me, that's the
saddest thing in the world, you know, nobody
can teach me.

Yopu know, before Meshiach is
coming, before the last day, you know the
strongest thing in the world will be, it will not
be so much between good and evil.  Good and
evil everybody knows what is going on.  The
 great thing --- 

We talk about judgement day, 
you know.  Judgement day means not -- ok,
G_d will judge the world, but the most
important thing before the great day,
(aa4-7)
everybody will really judge themself. 
That's the most important thing.  Everybody will
be strong enough to look at himself, with great
honesty look at himself.  

And the judging is
not between good -- ok, the question is, should I kill
somebody, should I love somebody, ok.  This is not
so much the free choice, I don't have to stand
in judgement, you shouldn't kill, oh I better
---------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 4 OF RSC MS. AA4

not kill.  Question is, even on the highest leval, on
the highest level, holiest level, I have to think this
isn't holy enough yet. 
(aa4-9)

This isn't pure enough yet.
This isn't it yet.
(aa4-9a)  

This is what it is, you now.  Because
when the Meshiach is coming, it will be the utmost
of G_d revelation.  And if a person can be just a
little bit better and he isn't, in a certain way , you 
know, he blocks out the coming of the Meshiach.
(aa4-10) 

The
Meshiach can only ocme for people who want the
utmost, right.  The utmost utmost.  If I'm happy
with a little utmost, you know, a little bit holiness -- 

He says something very strong.:

[ So OK, I guess RSC is teaching Reb Nachman texts, as usual, but
someone else must identify those texts from these contexts. ]

You know, people 
have about ten thousand worries.  He says:
The best
thing is from all the ten thousand worries, make
one worry, you know.  Put it all together, and
it won't be so heavy, you know.  Make it together.
(aa4-11)            

Remember the great Rabbi, momish he hadn't eaten
in three days and he momish had nothing.  But 
he was momish so happy you know, he was
studying, going strong.  His wife came in and
she said to him, you know I can't understand 
you, you know I'm blowing my mind, I
hae so many worries on my head and
you --- 
He says, I'll tell you:  

!There are all
-----------------------------------------------------------------
                           
START PAGE 5 OF RSC MS. AA4

kinds of geniuses, you know.  There are geniuses
in learning.  I'm a genius in worrying.  He says,
wjhat you worry in two weeks I worry off in
five minutes, you know.

Anyway, its a good
thing to be a genius in worrying sometimes, Because
it won't help anyway, so you might as well
knock it off fast.!

That's true, you know.  The
strongest thing a person has to know, always
strong, in a very strange way:

I have to annihilate 
myself before everybody in the world. 
I'm sitting
with ten people, I habe to be on the level of
complete annihilation, right.  Cause otherwise I'm
not becoming one with them.   

On the other
hanf, strongest thing in the world is not to
give up one ounce of yourself, right.  Don't
annihilate yourself, don't.  Don't annihilate
yourself before the world.

Again, takes a lot of
judging, you know.  You've got to be the highest
judge in the world to know exactly, you know.

I'll tell you something very strong:

The peple who don't annihilate themselves before the world,
on the highest level they really annihilate
themselves before every little creature.  Because
they know exactly the secret, when to annihilate
----------------------------------------------------------
                                  
START PGE 6 OF RSC MS. AA4

when not.  Before what, and before who.  Before yes
and before no.
(aa4-12) 

But the people who don't annihilate -- Hey, brother!

QUESTION, QUESTIONER NOT IDENTIFIED.  But Cf. =sc_aa5, where R.
Leibowitz repeatedly challenges RSC's use of the term
'annihilate':

"Shlomo, you said you have to annihilate yourself
before the whole world --- "

RSC:
You now, let's say for instance anybody I 
meet, I have to annihilate myself a little bit
before them, you know.  But yet wou see what it 
is, we know how to annihilate, maybe, sometimes
we annihilate ourselves but doesn't mean I have
to do what they think is right, you know.

You see, for instance I can annihilate myself before
somebody else as a person, you know, but it
doesn't mean I have to annihilate myself before
their ideas.  And we don't know exactly the
difference, you know.  

When I want to make 
peace beetween me and someone doesn't mean
whatever they say is right.  Maybe 100% wrong, I
just love them you know.  
(aa4-13)

Is also annihilation,
right.  but it's anotehr kind of annihilation.
So delicate, you know.

I'll tell you something
very strong:

Most people think when I make
peace mans I have to give in, right.  Not true.
That's a low kind of peace.
High kind of 
---------------------------------------------------------------
                                             
START PAGE 7 OF RSC MS. AA4

peace is that no one gives in one inch and there is
still peace.  
(aa4-14)	

Because if the whole idea of peace would
be based on lying to each other, you know, on
cutting each other short, you know then peace
wouldn't be the highest thing in the world.  It's the
holiest thinh in the world, because it's so holy and
so deep you don't have to give in anything, 
you know.
(aa4-15) 

Remember by Aaaron haCohen we
were learning, AHaRON Ha_KoCheN , the greatest peace_maker
in the world between people and he never said one
lie.
(aa4-16) 

Because how do we bring peace between people.
We lie her a little bit.  Lie here a little bit, and
we get them together.
(aa4-17) 

Then they lie to each other, 
you know.  

The whole idea of peace is not to lie.
(aa4-18) 

Listen to this:
Shabos is called ShaBaT ShaLOM 
Shabos is a day of peace.  ShaBaT also everybody
knows is a day of truth.  Becaue the Gemorah
says even the lowest creature can not lie on 
Shabos.
(aa4-19)

That means there is a peace during
the week, a lie_ing peace.  The peace of ShaBaT 
is, I'm not lying at all.
Oy.

Then something very beautiful:
Listen, I like to live in a 
clean house, in a beautiufl house, right.
You have to realize something very strong that the Gemorah
says:
--------------------------------------------------------------
	

START PAGE 8 OF RSC MS. AA4

says:                        

If you live in a beautiful house it really
opens the gates of your soul, you know.  Cause 
anything you can live in a narrow way
and you can live in a wide way.  Beauty
comes form that world of widenss.  
(aa4-20)


You can eat
an apple, if it doesn't look so clean and so good
you can eat it also but it doesn't give light
to that wideness in your soul, right.
(aa4-21) 

You eat
something that looks momish good, you know,
when you eat it it just opens the wideness of
your soul also.  Very special thing.
(aa4-22) 

So he says:
It's the same thing when you do a good deed.
Besides doing good, try and make it beautiful 
also.  Becasue if you do a good deed in a 
beautiful way, it opens this wideness in your
soul.

You know, I can walk up to a poor man,
gie him a nickel.  And I an do then thousand
things and make it bautiul, in the most
beautiful way, you know.
(aa4-23)

We can walk
up to a poor man ans day here, I'm giving
you charity.  Can walk up to a poor man
and say listen hrother, giving you a gift.
It's a differnet thing, you know.

I want you to know something very strong:

you know
---------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 9 OF RSC MS. AA4  

[ there seems to be a gap in the discussion here, but this is how
the pages were numbered, apparently by the transcriber, in
addition to my numbering.    I dunno.  The life of an academician
is spiced with entropy.  And an archivist too.]

it really blows my bind because you can see on
what the level the holy VORKER was to even think of it.

It says therfore:
G_d says:  I command you to
say  NOTN LITN give and give.

So the simple
translation is G_d says to us 'I command you tell
Moshe he should tell the Yidala you should
give and give.'

[ So ok, that identifies the parsha of he week - but I don't have
a full chumash at hand }    

So the Gemora says:
Why does it say give and give.  Even giving a hundred
times.  

That means if a poor man comes to me
in the morning nine o'clock give him something.
Ten after nine he's back.  So I tell him listen,
I gave you ten minutes ago.  No.  He comes
ten o'clock --- 

I told you about those two
creepalach in Williamsburg.                                       
(aa4-24) 
They're twins, they
look alike you know.  Listen the way they operate.
Lets say lets call them Moishe and Yonkala.
Moshe comes Monday morning knocks on the
door.  OK you know, give him something.  Tuesday
morning he's back  so you say, listen, you
were here yesterday.  Aha, that's my twin 
brother.  We look alike.  So you think OK, it's
possible.  Wednesday he's there again.  So you
say listen to me, for the third time , one of 
you two is coming back.  He says, I'll
---------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 10 OF RSC MS. AA4

tell you something.  My twin brother has so much
chutzpa he comes back twice, but I haven't 
been here yet.
They're the famous twins of
 Williamsburg, you know.
(aa4-24) 

But anyway, the thing
is like this.
The holy VORKER says something very
very strong you know.
That he translated which
is really very strong.
Not that G_d says to
Moishe tell the children of Israel they should
give and give.  He says, G_d told us when you
give you have to tell the poor man, soon you
will be so rich you will give and give.
Means
while you're giving him you have to tell him,
don't be downhearted. Someday you'll give and
give and give.  You have to tell it to him.

Can
you imagine on what level that kind of
giving is.  To give the poor man so much
strength, to tell him, Listen brother, maybe today
you are poor.  I'm sure tomorrow you'll be so
wealthy.

So this is also on a spiritual level.
Very very important you know.  When someone
lets say pours out their heart to you, or
tells you something.  And you've got to 
momish make it clear to them, listen, tomorrow
you'll be very high also.  Very high.  
(aa4-26)

You'll
---------------------------------------------------------------

START PAGE 11 OF RSC MS. AA4

be higher and higher and higher.
(aa24-27)	
Cause then something
happens to this holy wideness.

There's a 
passage that says, 'I was thinking of my ways.'
[ Psalms I assume, but don't know which ]


So he says:
Tht means I gave heavinesd, you know.
(aa4-28a)
Heaviness.
(aa4-28b)Every act I'm doing is very
heavy, whatever I do, very heavy.

Lets say, you
know, if I have to carry a handkerchief I don't
think about it.  If I have to carry 2000 pounds
from here to the door I think three times.  So heavy.
I don't want to carry it for nothihg, right.  

If I
would know how heavy everything I'm doing
is, I'd think four times before I'm doing it.  But
also while I'm doing it, its heavy on me.  I
feel it.  It's so heavy you know.  
It's strong.
(aa4-29)

Then he says something very strong:
You know what it is, he says:
Whatever a person does has to be
valueable to me also.  If I say, you know, I'm
doing this because of G_d, because of religion, because 
of -- it's nothing.  The question is, it it important
to YOU.  Does it mean a lot to you.  You do it.

You know what it is.  
If I do something out 
of habitt, then its not heavy, and its meaningless,
everything.
You know what it is.
In Hasidus
its very strong.   You have to be important
to yourself.  

!Its holy, its very very holy to
--------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 12 OF RSC MS. AA4

be humble, but it has nothing to do with being 
negated.!
Oy.

(The Transcriber records that 32 years ago on a Sunday in San
Fracisco somebody did sneeze, to which the Rabbi made reply, G_d
bless you.)

Somebody says:  I'm glad it wasn't 3000 pounds.

RSC:
Yeah brother.  Yeah brother.  Yeah, that's true.  A little
handkerchief and 3000 lbs.

Somebody says:  Shlomo, isn't there a saying , 'You sneeze on the
truth.'

RSC:
No, no.  When you doven you pray and you
sneeze, that means G_d listened to your prayers. 

According to Reb LAIBLA AIGER , when you sneeze
Saturday night its also because the whole
Saturday night is on the level of prayer, because
its the Feast of King David.

So whenever I sneeze
Saturday night that means _G_d heard my prayer.
Very strong thing.
                                          
A LOCAL WIT QUIPS;
"So the best prsyer is when you have a cold." 

RSC:
Yeah, you mean you're closter to G_d when you
have a cold.  Pretty good you know.  So we
shoulf sell pills to get a cold. Get religious and
have a cold.  It's a new thing.  Go like wildfire brother.

SOMEBODY SNEEZETH AGAIN.

THE RABBI RESPONDS, SAYING: 

G_d bless you.
(aa4-30)
It works, brother.
I'll tell
-------------------------------------------------------

START PAGE 13 OF RSC MS. AA4

you something very strong: 

[ Elmer's Glue_All ]

You know there are days
when so many good things are happening to
us you know.  A lot of good deeds.  So many
sweet things happening.
There are days nothing
happens.

Very simple.  Its not the ultimate but
there is some truth to it, you know.

He says:
On the day when I walk around with really holy
thoughts in my head, when Im really on a
holy path and everything holy happens to me.

If I walk areound depressed and angry and
disgusted, can't reach me you know.

The BAAL SHEM TOV says something very strong:
Where am I.  Ok my feet are on Judah and Ninth.
(aa4-31)

Where am I you know.  I am where I am thinking I 
am, right.  

[ No doubt, but please don't tell her husband. ]

I am where my thoughts are.  So 
if my thoughts are not with it, then even
the best things which G_d wants to reach me
can't het to me.  You're not here.  They knock
on the door, mailman bringing me packages,
I don't even hear him knock because I wasn't
there. 
So got to be there.

Now listen to this.  
This is strong:
Imagine this is a tape recorder
and I say, I'm not really moving it, I'm
just moving this part here.  Moving around a
little bit.  
No, its stupid, right.  Any part I
-----------------------------------------------------------

START PAGE 14 OF RSC MS. AA4

touch, I move the whole thing.

One one hand, do I 
believe I'm really part of G_d.  But if I'm really
part of G_d that means the way I'm moving
I'm really moving around G_d, so_to_spealk.  Its
in a heartbreaking way you know.  When you 
ask, we always think we're part of G_d, we're
cut off.

[transcription sic, but maybe mis_speak or mis_transcribe for
'we're not part']                                     

We're not cut off.  If I'm part of G_d
it means I'm momish part of G_d.  That means
whatever I move, that the way I move G_d, I move
the whole world.  
Its heartbreaking to think of it
you know, heartbreaking even to know about it.
(aa4-31a) 

Then it says:
'and the spirit of G_d was upon 
the waters', beginning of Berashit.

Now listen to 
this:
First of all, G_d's word, the Torah, is always
like water.
Remember, I told you.  Because water
has taste only when you are thirsty.  If you're
not thirsty then water has no taste.  Like kvais
ice cream always tastes.
(aa4-31b)

G_d only tastes
good if you're really thirsty for G_d.  If you're 
yearning for 'HIM'.

But it says, and the spirit
of G_d was upon the water, you know what 
it is.  
When you are learning you got to be
on such a high level that momish you have to
feel that G_d's spirit is upon you.
(aa4-32)   
(aa4-33)

That
----------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 15 OF RSC MS. AA4

means you have to know something is really
happening at that momement.  Whatever you did
before, whatever you do after, at that moment,
really, a very holy spirit surrounds
you.  A  Ruach Elo(k)im, spirit of G_d.

You know, lets put it this way:
Imagine if if physicaly there 
would be a ver very evil smell here.  Could
you concentrate.  No, right.  Becuase evil smell
really.

But then imagine there's a good smell.
Higher higher higher.  

The truth is, you really
can only learn, your soul is only open for
real learning, if you're just surrounded by
this holy spirit.  If, while you're learning, you have this
tremendous holy spirit around you.

Listen,
you only feel cold when its cold.  That means
while you're learning there has to be a certain
amount of heat around you.  Holy heat.  And
this holy heat, this holy warmth, the spirit
of G_d has to be.

Now listen very very important:
We always think we know it but its good
to remember:

!Every morning we say thank
YOU G_d for giving me the Torah.  We don't
say thank you that you gave it to me
-----------------------------------------------------------------
        
START PAGE 16 OF RSC MS. AA4

YOU're giving it to me.
(aa4-34)

(aa4-34)
That is:  Receiving the Torah is an ongoing process, not a fait
accomopli.!

You know, one thing you
know.  Mt. Sinai is still there.  G_d is still talking.
And its happening right this minute.  And you
know the whole thing is, if you want to be a
Mt. Sinai person, you momish have to be here
and you know G_d is teaching you-  If you
open a book and you think Oy, it was printed
kvais three years ago, its already bad. It has
to be now you know.  Has to be real like the 
utmost of newness.

The he says something vers strong:
When you do somethng wrong its very
easy to repent. Becauase G_d created the world
in such a way, there's such a flow of repentance
you know.

I'll tell you something very stong:
While you're doing wrong, what are you thinking.
I'll never do it again, right.  You momish have
utomost repentance, you know. Like its inbuilt
machinery that while you're doing wrong
you're momish looking for repentance.  So why
don't you really do it after that.  Becsuse 
one sevonf after you're doing it you are
filled with sadness.  

Sadness is the most 
deadening thing in the world.  Like paralyzes
 you, you can't do anything.  

So the real
------------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 17 OF RSC MS. AA4

evil is not the evil deed but the sadness afsterward.

So I dont want to burden you with Hebrew but
there's a passage in the Psalms:  'G_d cures those
with broken hearts and tears out their sadness.'

How does G_d cure you.  All the evil.  Cause 
the evil itself, you could cure all the evil 
deeds you did.  The only thing you need G_d 
to tear out the sadness out of you.  Cause the
moment you're not sad you're joyous, you can move.

He says something very beautiful:
Imagine
I hae a little light here.  Im not looking for
more light.  But I have a little light, keeps
me going enough to read and enough to live.

But when I am, G_d forbid, living in complete
darkness and then Im asking for light, I
might as well ask for the greatest light, right.

So he says:
Who are the people who will bring
about the Meshiach, the great light.  Not the
people who have a little light.  Cause they are
happy with the little they have.  Its the people
who momish know we are living in utmost 
darkness.  And if I'm asking already for light,
it might as well be the greatest, right.

There's a very holy saying by the OLD
--------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 18 OF RSC MS. AA4

LUBAVITCHER REBBE:

[ By 'the Old Lubavitcher Rebbe' is meant, the predecesser of 'The
Lubavitcher Rebbe', by which is meant R. Menanchem Mendel
Schneeresohn.  ]

He said:
In former good days in
Eruope there was fourth class on a train, third 
class, second class, and first class.  Second class
was pretty good.  Third class was for kvais the 
middle class.  Fourth class was only standing room.
Real poor beggars.      

So the Former [ Lubavitcher ] Rebbe said something 
very strong:
The real schlepper
goes first class.  Why.  He has no money,
anyway he borrowed it.  So if he borrowed it
why not borrow first class you know.

So he said its us schleppers who will eventually
travel first class because we have to borrow
anyway, why not borrow the real thing.

Then something also.  Oy.  Its heartbreaking.  He says:
Just remember one thing.  That there will
be a time, there will be a day, where every action,
every thought of you, will come before you again.
And you'll be so ashamed. Eery prayer you
ever uttered will stand before you aagain.  How will
it look.

Then he said something very strong:
Those who think I'm serving G_d when
I pray but not when I eat and sleep and do
my busisness, do my own thing; they're completely
cut off from G_d. 

[ Nonsense, says I. ]
(aa4-35)

They're not only cut off
-----------------------------------------------------------

START PAGE 19 OF RSC MS. AA4

when they do their physical thing, they're cut off
from G_d even when they pray.
(aa4-36)	

Because onr of the 
two, are you with it are you not with it.
(aa4-37) 

I can not say, you know for lunch I'm in
New York and for dinner I'm in Honolulu.  Doesn't
go, because its too far away you know.  Make up
your mind where do you live.

Ah, something vers strong:
You know paganism, pagan worship 
is called Avodah Zorah.  That means actually
if you translate it, strange worship.
  
So he says:
Don't worship G_d in a thing which is
strange to you.  It has to be close to you.
Very very important.

I'm sitting all day praying
but if the praying is strange to me, its not
real.  Not vompletely real.  
If its not ten billion
percent real its paganism.
(aa4-38)

I tell you something very beautiful:
You know that cruelty 
is a combination of two word.  AKh ZOR

But, strange.  That means cruelty doesn't 
belong in there, you know.  It's a strange element.

Imagine I'll eat soup, suddenly I'll see a dollar
swimming arouind in the soup.  How
does a dollar bill come into the soup.  Its a
strange element in here you know.  
(aa4-39)

So cruelty
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START PAGE 20 OF RSC MS. AA4

I mean, doesn't belong.  Its called AKh ZOR 
But, strange.  But the thing is -- 

Did you hear hear this.  Its just a stupid joke, just
to release our tension for a second.  

Did I tell
you that the great Rabis of the Talmud would
stop ever little while and tell a joke.  Make
people laugh.  Because if you study you get so
concentrated it'll below you, you know.  You got to
loosen up a little bit.

Anyway, its a stupid joke
but anyway:
The thing is this kvais Marcy Cohen
walks into this gorcery story [sic, story, not store], and she
buys ten
pounds of , you know, they have cake for dogs
whatever its called, Bisquits.  He says to her
you habe a little dog_ala, why do you buy so
much.  She says last night my husband
ate it and he liked it so much he wants
to eat now dog food.  So he says to her, you know
its really dangerous, I don't know whats in it but
I don't think its for human consumption.  She says
I don't care.  He wants to eat it, let him eat it.
A week later she comes bak all dressed in black.
So he says, wha happened.  He says, I told you
your husband will die.  She says your're wrong.
He didn't die from the biscuits.  So he says what
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START PAGE 21 OF RSC MS. AA4

happened.  She says he ran after a car barking
and he was run over. 

[ Yes, this was a stupid joke.  It has no depth at all.
It is a parable for nothing. ]


"Don't make for me an altar of silver, and don't
make for me an altar of gold, but make an altar
out of earth."
(This is from Bemidbar, I think, but I don't have a Chumash nor
Bible at hand.)

So the thing is like this.  I want you
to know this is one of the top passages to remember.
"Make me an altar out of earth."  And even if
nobody translates it its beautiufl, just what it says
you know.  Make me an altar out of earth.  From
the earth.

The menorah was made out of gold,
but the altar was made out of earth.  The real
sacrifices were made on earth.

Now listen to this:
He says like this:
That the person has two 
things.  The person has a lot of yearing for very
holy things.  Very very holy. Then I have a few
things which I have already acquired. 

And then 
is something even deeper than that, even deeper
than yearning, and even deeper from what I
have is what is what I am .  Not what Im yerning 
for, not what I have.  But what I really am.

He says:
When you build an alter before G_d, 
do't build it just out of yearning  -- its very
holy, but zhis isn't it yet.  Don't build it out
of the things you really did, holy things.  I'm
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START PAGE 22 OF RSC MS. AA4

not talking about unholy things.  Really holy
things I did.  That's gold  Thats not good enough.  Out
of the earth.  That's real, the simple you, you know.
The most down to earth like they say, down to earth.
That psrt of you which is really the earth of you.
Which is deeper than eberything in the world. Thr
deepest depths of you.  Ehich is the most simple
thing in the world.  I mean simple on a high
lebel. This is where you build your altar.  This is 
where you serve G_d.   

He says, complete complete
simplicity.

He says something like this.

Then he says something verx beautiful:
This is really the 
level of Yakov, because Avraham Avinu was
on the level of love, which is yearning.  This 
is silver.  Yitzak was on the level of gold, you know,
momish he as dying for G_d a thousand times a day.
Gold, he really had it.  But Yakov he says even
that is not good enough, obviously I can do more
than that .  If you setve G_d like somebody 
else then xou wouldnt have been born.  They 
did it already.  So Yakob Avinu negan
serbving G_d on the lebel of this altar of
earth.  ADaMaH , earth, comes from the word
AdaM , man.  ADaM is earth.  Man is the altar.
---------------------------------------------------------------
START PAGE 23 OF RSC MS. A44

Yeah that's also very holy.  But I don't know.
Mamish I'm really turned onto this deep deep deep.
Your own simplicity.  Your real self you know.
Deeper than anything anyone can teach you.

You see, someone can teach me how to yearm.
Someone can teach me how to gain holy deeds.
But nobody can, this holy thing which is not 
taught btween me and G_d, this is where its at.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
TRANSCRIBER NOTES:  END OF SIDE 1.  THIS IS A 90 MINUTE TAPE.

I don't know what happened to Side 2 of this Tape.

=================================================================

APPENDIX:

REB NACHMAN'S NIGGUN:

2/4 Time -- about MM=60 (ie, 60 bps)

This niggun is in 3 parts.

My alphabetic notation should be reasonably clear.
Captital letters are 1 beat  -- eg G D
Lower-case letters bracked in parentheses are 1 beat, eg (gc)
A note is the flat if followed by a -    eg   b- is B-flat
A capital letter followed by a 2 is 2 beats
Bar lines are indicated by /
A letter followed by an an_sign (ampersand, & ) add half of its
value 
So (g&) is a dotted eighth note (in 2/4 or 4/4 time, where a
quarter_note gets 1 beat
n means natural -- eg   dn  is a d_natural eighth note

A plus prefix means either:  this note is higher than the one that
precedes it    or    
in this tune, this note is an octave higher than the same letter
without a plus sign   

There are no words to this niggun.

The mood is calm but optimistic.  It is in no sense a lament.

----------------------------------------

Theme 1:

/ G D / (b'd) C / (gc) (b-a) / (gaga) (b-a) /

/ G D / (b'd) C / (gc) (b-a) / G2           /

(Repeat previous two lines)

Theme 2:

/ (gb-) (b-b-) / (b-(ab-)) (cb-) /

/ (gb-) (b-b-) / (b-(ab-)) (cb-) /    

/  g B- a     /   g C- e-       / (d& (c)) (b-c) / D2 /

/  g B- a     /   g C- e-       / (d& (c)) (b-c) / G2 /  
                                                                

Theme 3:

/ +G2          /  +G2       /  +G +G       /  +G +G     / 

/ (+gf) (+b-a) /  +G2       / (+gf) (+b-a) /  +G2       /  

/ (+gf) (+b-a) / (gf) (e-d)/ (dc)  (fe-)) / (dc)  (b-a) /        

/ G D / (b'd) C / (gc) (b-a) / G2           /
               

(Repeat entire niggun )

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NOTES TO  =sc_aa4.* Deep6'd to scsaaa4*.
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