---------------------------------------------------------------- 28 Nov '05 -- 26 CheShvanN -- 25 Shawwal 06:30 About minus 11 outside. Thanks to the Vanzetti's, I am sitting in a warm shack on a soft_enough chair (having stole two pillows from Honest George, His Domain -- or rather might one say, 'liberated', as_it_is_said "property is theft" (USA New Left 1970's (the 'old Left' being the the 1930's CP_oriented naive American romantic idealists (they was heading for the Mystic East, but stopped short; us young rebels done finished that trip, Rip ("in my end is my beginning" said T.S. Eliot that Twit, and the Beattles repeated, "but play the game existence to the end / of the beginning " (Revolver, as I recall) Leary having said, in the First Ammendment to the Psychelic Creed: "'Turn on, tune in, drop out -- gracefully, gracefully." You want post_modernism, we got post_modernism. Modernism is thus by definition passe -- Bauhaus and all that. Literary digitalization is the culmination of post_modernism. Google and all that. I told Cave Dave 'I'll kill you' -- I thought I was merely making socially acceptable conversation, under the circumstances -- so he said, I'll put up a prayer meeting for you. So we sat in the rebuilt half_underground Circle in the New Buffalo adobe -- it never did look like much, despite that beautifully designed lattia roof -- that's cut aspens -- the chevre -- that is, the men -- and how young we all were then -- were up on the roof, and couldn't decide just what to do next, so they smoked some pot, and then then a sort of collecive inspiration came up with the pattern in which to lay the lattias - - and I took my money, about 200 a monthh, and went down to Albuquerque and bought some copper sheets -- there's an old tradition that you should have copper in the winter, keeps off bad spirits -- your own if not those of others folks, "dead or alive" (USA slogan for 'wanted' ("dead or alive") hunted outlaws, 1800''s) -- and Blone Larry McIntire made a hood for the central fire_pit, but it got all sooted over on the first fire -- I supposel they were burning pinion, not 'cedar' -- much less oak -- scrub_oak, of course, this is from the Mesa's -- once in a tipi the FireMan made the fire of oak, and in the morning, when one talks, Justin Case noted that and thanked him for having taken such extra care -- oak smells wonderful -- I used to pass by San Felipe pueblo in the winter, on my red Suzuki 80 -- the burning pinion smelled great -- but anyhow, that Circle never did look like much, for all that Helen Steere put a few mosaics of corn on the walls, made of pieces of broken cups, blue and yellow and white, -- and that was before they had the orgy there, after which the Indians did not want to use it for prayer meetings -- and also because we smoked pot, of which they did not approve -- they used to say, "Don't mix them" -- and of course that is the real reason for PVK's no_drugs rule -- and also, as I've noted, R. Shlomo said of pot, "Chevre, it's time to get out of diapers" -- Hatzkela told me he said that -- and Hatzkela is the last of the metabolic potheads -- he goes up to the edge of the abyss of crazy without it, but Hatzkela is very strong and stops short of the edge -- he is an excellent sofer -- the frumies say so -- and he once told me that he took Thorazine to do his script -- I was shocked -- I mean, also he takes a mikveh beforehand, which is tradition -- a mikveh is to get off tameh -- tameh is usually translated, 'defilement', but save all that sexual guilt for the Christians -- 'funky' will do fine -- Sonia LaBove one defined 'funky' as 'a room in which a hundred people have been screwing' -- she was a potter, married Niel Nelson the more_or_less poet, and they went into Iyengar yoga, going out to India to study with Mr. Iyengar -- I stopped by their place in Albuquerqe during one of my flipouts - - rich folks used to take a cruise to Beermuda instead, that was in my grandparents era -- once when I was flipping out I was rescued by the Bored_again Jesus_freaks -- 'Jews for Jesus', "save the mark" (expression from the 1700's or so) -- who decided to take advantage of the opportunity by converting me -- I always say, nowadays, a Jew who has just been baptized is deemd a Jew with wet hair -- for us, to be Jewish is one's destiny and if need be fate -- that's why they mis_term the Shoah thhe Holacaust, a sort of wave_offering -- though there's not much sanctification in an involuntary martydom -- there is not much redemption from murder, at least not for the victims -- and PVK said of NIK, once, 'she is consoling those who died suddenly ' -- he meant, before their time -- there's this little hill in Cambridgee -- off Agassi Street -- I went to Miss Fields' nursury school there -- maybe that was even in that very house, "save the mark" (which means roughtly, Heaven preserve us) -- Massachusetts of course -- with a nice elegant old house on top of it -- in Colonial times, which means 1600's it was a hanging hill -- witches no doubt -- old ladies who had gotten a bit strange in their ways, I suppose -- like not having a man to live with, as_it_is_said (Women's Liberation Movement, USA 1970') -- "a woman without a man is like a fishh without a bicycle" -- so anyhow, so spiritual grouop has brought this holy man over from the Mystic East -- which is a neighborhood in one of the areas of outlying Boston which one ordinarily has no reason to visit -- ok, that was an in_crowd quip, ie, for Bosonians -- he was from India I suppose -- and arranged for him to stay in that fancy Cambridge house -- and he said, or so I was told, 'I can't stay here, someone was murdered here ' -- gvalt, this was 300 years ago, and the poor soul has been doing "hard time" (USA prison slang for someone who does not adjust reasonably comfortably to his new lifestyle) on that damned hilltop -- Chanah , who founded the Canaan Family as an explicitly Jewish analogue of The Abode -- Leah Golumb, one of the founders of Moshav Mevo Modi'in, knew her -- suffered a breakdown -- she had been so full of joy, riding around in her little car the 'Honey Bee', bringing a gift of challot to the Abode before Shabat -- and how could they have failed to take better care of her -- I think the SO has not done well, nor even honorably, in handling mental breakdowns -- they tend to just put them in an ambulance and take them away to be locked up -- so anyhow, she jumped out a window oncc and that was that -- maybe when they were about to lock her up -- the Roman Catholics say, suicide is a mortal sin -- Judaism just regards it as a rather shabby copout -- rather like women regard male homos as men too cowaradly to face the challenge of bringing joy to the feminine mysteries -- and somone once wrote, in some relativey upper_class USA popular fiction (the USA has only a relative upper class, only England has had the time and insularity to develop a proper upper class, like a drinkable Bordeaux ) - "I think there must be a special place in hell reserved for a man who would refuse a woman" -- I wrote and keep trying to peddle a memorial note, called "chana*.* as I recall -- sucide is allowed in Judaism -- even encouraged, I gather -- in 3 situations -- to escape from incest -- shucks, the Ancient Egyptians did thaat one as a matter of noblesse oblige -- to escape from being compelled to murder someone else -- "for who is to say that your blood is better than his" (Talmud, as I recall reading) -- and to escape from being coereced into idolatry -- OK mazaltov, what's idolatry, and where can I find a nice group -- non_smoking of course -- that doesn't mind visitors -- I used to speak wistfully of wanting to go to orgy, and Susie said, I'll play the phonograph -- she loved music, and dancing, and children -- as I've said, he first noticed her in Paul Wienpahl's class on Spinoza's Ethics -- that was at UCSB, his real love was Zen -- so everyone else in the class but her and me was taking notes as fast and frantic as they could -- she was just sitting in her chair, dancing to the music of Spinoza's ideas -- So anyhow, we say in the Alenu, one of those passages in the Siddur that could do with good editor, if that's not a contradiciton in terms -- "and they bow down to nothingness and the void" -- and R. Zalman said in an article , that does not mean the 'Void' as the term is used in Zen -- so I always think of a crowd in a disco -- so anyhow, it seems to me that to be locked up in a "looney bin" (USA slang, 1900's, but a bit more honest and no less precise than 'custodial instiutionalization' -- and then be subjected to a "shrink" (also USA slang -- some bastard member of that profession once said to me, upon my admission to the highly_regarded psychiatric facility of Mass General Hospital in Boston, next door to the prison, in 1970 -- it was called 'Bullfinch', after the bird who gave the bread to build it, long live reakeoffs -- and after I had walked out of it -- successfully, thanks to the kindness of my parents, though I do think I showed a bit of skill in doing so -- no doubt with "invisible means of support" (as they used to say of those who live on a income from a Fund or funds) -- and PVK often said, in the late 1990's anyhow, if someone asks you to do something, to not immediately react -- you might say, at least to yourself, Wait, I must first consuolt byx Guidance -- "the spirit of Guidance" as HIK says -- my mother often called it 'Bullshit' -- oy, it's either more coffee or go back to sleep, so let's wrap this up -- So there I am in the New Buffalo Circle, in the good old days, before the Orgy -- I had wanted to go to it, but it seemed to ber late getting started -- I mean, I suppose that is not the sort of social event to which eeryone always feels obliged to arrive on time -- and I never have been much of a night_owl -- I suppose that's because I was born at daybreak -- I used to always get up by sunrise, and nowadays I try to be up before daybreak -- of course PVK says that is the best time to meditate -- and his very best , most refined anyhow, mediations, would be the so_called 'Early Morning Meditations' , which would begin before sunrise and end after it -- just as we optimally do with the shaharit 'davening' - -- and Jonazthon Daniels said, you hit tthe Psukei d'Zimrot, the recital of psalms, just when the birds are singing and -- the Talmud says this, in Berachot, one of the first pages in the Talmud -- you optimally hit the Amidah just at sunrise -- you can't do that delibertely, since you can't 'interrupt your prayers' from the start of the Shma to the end of the Amidah -- and Jonathon Daniels says, that is the moment when the birds top singing for a moment -- so this is the Amidah, which must be said silently, or at least speaking only to oneself, in such a was that others are not distracted -- oy, so speaking of orgies, I was annoyed at having had to wait -- I mean, I had been waiting throughut my belated adolescence -- so I said, well, if they can't get it together on time, they can darned well have it without me -- and sometime the next day I asked someone how it was, and they said, oh, nothing very much, Shiva just rolled around in the dust with a few people -- and Shiva later joined the Jesus freaks -- at which point I finally talked to her -- I mean openly, with some emotional honesty -- and said, I suppose I should have waited in line, and she said back to me, I think rather wistfully or maybe 'sadly' -- 'There never was any line' -- So anyhow, back to the prayer meeting, and then make the coffee and cool out with the IHT -- so during the night, I am focussed intently on the spiritual center of the ceremony, Joe Sunhawk, who Cave Dave asked to run the Meeting -- they had a friendly relationship -- for some years Cave Dave was on silence, so he would communicate only with gestures, and when he did that with Joe Sunhawk, Sunhawk would answer him only in gestures -- so Cave Dave told me, we had been friends, and I once did my best to get him out of jail, using a stolen telephone credit card to call someone in Chicago who seemed to be good at that sort of thing -- this was after Cave Dave found Jesus and , the Jesus Freaks being of a most honest sort, turned himself into the Chicago police for heving hit a cop during the Chicago police riots -- mazaltov, I mean even HIK, as PVK quotes him in these KIT's, says, in effect, love your neighbor and all that, but don't be a chump (USA slang) about it -- -- When Sunhawk teased him too much, Cavve Dave would call him 'Sunbird', or so he told me -- We sort of broke when Dave Dave -- I keep making that typo, which means I must be writing from what I hear in an inner auditory mode -- moved into Fat Larry's pit house -- wwhich I had wanted to score for the chick who mas living in my room, and wanted to move into it the loom I had scored or something like it -- when I took over that room , where Martha hat her loom -- she got knocked up by Funky Bob, so immediately her mother appears at New Buffalo to see her through the early stage of the pregnancy -- she was rather a skinny little thing, not the sort of plump ones who love food and have no trouble coming -- pardon my dash of reality, I won't do it again -- I suppose in retrospect that the chick had also wanted to move out of me -- she once said, 'my psychotherapist says, you can forgive a man almost anything if he makes you happy' -- So anyhow, then Sunhawk comes over, this is in the middle of the prayer meeting, and a Chief usually stays in his place all night long -- and stands so I have to look at him, not at the spiritual focus -- and as I've said, at his mini_darshan during an Abode Camp lecture, no doubt on tape if the tape aint' gone bad yet, when I was trying to ask PVK to encourage me to go back to grad school and pick up my Ph.d in philosophy, only instead I asked him some sort of general question, elgantly worded of course, about what he thought of philosophy, and he started off by saying , some have said that philosophy is like looking for a black cat in a coal mine -- in the dark ' -- and then he suggested that I focus more on people -- which was not the answer I had gone to all that trouble -- trouble with myself, I should say now -- to seek out -- and so I say something to Gedalya Persky, who was running the Camp last year -- so this does date it, if anyone wants to seek out that tape -- and like Sufi's too, rather than joining me in the dungeon of my dungeon -- you can quote that if you like, even though I don't have the spelling write -- it's 'grand dunjeon' or something like that, meaning, to use an old word, a 'funk' -- yes, 'funk', as in 'blue funk' -- a sort of mild depression -- so like a good Sufi, Gedalya sublimates his sympathy into an empathic re_inforecment of the positive aspects of the matter, and says, in effect, Heck, you have no compaint, that was great advice, you've already got your money's worth from this Camp. When Gedlaya came under the -- shadow, really -- of Dovid Din, who had gone from being a Green Beret -- and what they did in Vietnam, however courageously, you really don't want to know -- into being an ultra_frumie, I once heard R. Dovid Zeller remarking to ZR, I suppose in 1998, that Dovid Din had in effect wrapped up his career by starving himself to death -- -- so anyhow, back in 1998, when Dovid DDin was only moderately weird -- he was staying in a room at the Abode, and sent up word to ask the Camp staff to get him some toothpaste, which would have meant a special trip to Pittsfield, and Sherdyl said, Heck, we're doing so much for him, tell him to just send them up to the Camprground and we'll brush them for him -- well, Sherdyl is now teaching Agriculture at Cornell, last I heard -- So anyhow, then Gedaly quits the Sufi's -- not that one can do that in an estoric sense, as far as I know, but PVK certainly did whatever should be done to accommodate with full respecte those who chose to leave -- Arif Rechtaffen, who had been Regent at the Abode, left the SO, maybe as a sort of office_politics hari_kiri in atonement for having blown the SO finances -- they had to sell Omega Press, and it took maybe a decade before they re_established it -- when he organized a Conferenc on Cancer in Washington D.C, really as a platoform for PVK to speak to the Establishment -- well, had it it succeeded, he might have done more to prevent if not cure cancer -- wholistic medicine occurs mostly at the stage of preventive medicine, not acute medicine, by then there's not much more to do but chop and burn -- than almost any other physician. It apparently failed, so he apparently resigned in a properly deliberate handover of authority, and then went on to found Omega Institute, an umbrulla organization for wholistic healing -- so of course he never really quit the SO, he just continued playing on the team in a different position -- as if you had a game of meta_soccer, sort of like the 3_dimension chess game that PVK would speak of -- "if you are blocked in the usual dimensions, you can always continue to play in an additional dimension which you had not hitherto taken note of " -- that's my paraphrase, but I think it conforms to the intention behind what transpired as PVK's remar -- So you could have meta_soccur, which is maybe something like Herman Hesse's bead game, and whatever that game of Quidich in the Harry Potter stories was meant to have been -- though I doubt that Ms. Rowling, whom I ain't read, is much of a mystic -- -- though it must be that the kids nowaddays are perceiving psychic phenomena -- maybe this is part of the dawning of that New Age, with an evolution of mankind into more spiritual beings -- womankind has no doubt already been there since that Neolithic Age which Jean Auel so well imagined in her 'Clan of the Cave Bear '' --- maybe her best, and maybe her one goood, book -- it did evoke a prehistoric matriarchy as a highly spiritual community -- and we do know that matriarchic religious societies existed, thugh apparently those around the Mediterranean had a currently unfashionalbe inclination toward a bit of practical infanticide -- the Bible says, it was such abominations that they lost their spiritual claim to the land of Israel -- though economic progress may have had more to do with it, with agriculture and fixed homes one could now feed the noisy little brats -- Oy, I do want to wrap this up, but once I stop I'll most likely not start again -- So ok, also in the prayer meeting, Joe Sunhawk walks over to me, or maybe this is that same time, feels my back -- he was a chiroparcter, and of course an herbalist -- a descendent of Geronimo, maybe his nephew -- and then says to Dave Dave, you are a very wise man -- So ok, that was the story of Cave Dave's -- it's Cave Dave, not Dave Dave, the latter is my auditory typo -- prayer meeting. With a few digressions. I can't now recall why I thought it was relevant to whatever I had in mind -- I think I had invoked the CP_USA as an excuse for stealing 2 of Honest George's pillows -- this which I had not done I would not have had the "Sitzfleish" -- as Frita Aaron , another of the founders of New Buffalo -- she later married an Oklahoma Indian -- once termed it -- to write all this. The End, cut and print but don't re_read. One lap around the privy --- sometimes that's darned near the only thing that keeps me grounded, though I try my best to at least write as if I had a suitably crude sensiblility to get through the rest of this life without flipping out again -- I mean, every hot_air balloon needs some pretty strong crude ground_reopes -- and then on to coffee and wahtever else I can scrounge up for breakfast -- a can of herring -- ok, saridnes it is -- might do nicely -- nicely enough, that is, me and that cat can't eat grass, not with snow on the ground and likely to stay there until the sun comes out here, about 2 months and a week from now sa, Campra, 28 Nov '05 ---------------------------------------------------------------- [ In thsee KITs, two or more quotes are sometimes set out in consecutive paragraphs, but the dude wot said all that [Toenote kit096__1 ] [Toenote kit096__1 ] (or so it's said (as_it_is_is_said, "how do I know -- the Bible tells me so" (USA pop song, 1950's) is only noted after the last quote. -- sa ]