;.cR.Shlomo/Weddings/3ming/witnesses
;.l1,6,60,66,1,0,10,75,192,2,15,20,25,127,10,0,
=sh3wwit
R. Shlomo
Weddings
3ming
witnesses
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WITNESSES
{<ABE

When Avraham and Sarah got married, there was nobody there whocould be an Eidus (witnesses) for them, for their wedding.  Therewere no Jews.  So who were the witnesses?    ۅ   .  Heaven and Earth.  And I have a feeling sinceAvraham and Sarah didn't have two holy witnesses, they're comingto every wedding.  They want to be part of it.  Because how comeyou're here?  Because Avraham and Sarah got married.  I want youto know each time we are witnesses for a wedding, we are alsowitnesses that Avraham and Sarah got married.  We are witnessesthat Yitschak and Rivka got married.  We are witnesses that Yaakovand Rachel got married.  Now, everybody knows, all the big rebbessay the same thing, that the Eidim has to be somebody who neverdid anything wrong in their life.  But it's like Eliyahu HaNavi,because of Choson and Callah, mamash, the Eidim are washed clean.  
	{R. Shlomo requests "as a personal favor" that the witnessesinclude a Cohen and a Levi. (Apparently this is not required byhalacha.)  {Apparently R. Shlomo does not limit the number ofwitnesses, and encourages the groom to invite a number of cohenim,levi-im, and even Yisrael-im; though this may just have happenedby chance at a wedding. ( viz. <abe}

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THE WITNESSES CONFIRM THAT IT'S THE RIGHT BRIDE UNDER THE VEIL
<JOSHU
[To the bride]
 without being personal, I lift up your veil because the "adim"mamash (the witnesses) have to see you face to face.

THE WITNESSES CONFIRM THAT THE RING REALLY BELONGS TO THE GROOM
<joshu
[The evidence-gathering, evaluation, and interpretation phases ofsthis legal process proceed approximaely as follows:]
"OK, it's your ring, right."
[That decisively in unchallengably concludes the preceedingevidential/legal processes.  R.Shlomo then offers the followingcommentary:]
    Alot of things we have legally, but they don't belong to me. ... I have books in my house, they are not my books --  they are,legally, but they are not my books, right.  A Gemorra is my book. A Siddur is my book.  You know alot of people are married legally. Is it really your wife?  Is it your husband?  The deepest.        
	So you see, everybody can give a ring.  I can buy a ring andgive it to a girl.  But it's a special, special privilege from G-dthat you can give a ring to a woman and it's mamash, my wife. Mamash, my husband.
	So many people have children. But they are not theirchildren.  Their children.  Ah, this is the deepest deep.  Youknow some people live in the house, but it is not their house. Yea, legally it's their house.  My house.  I bless you [groom]this ring should be so much yours, that everything that you have,you are giving over to [the bride], at this moment.  And also Ibless you that your house should always be your house, yourchildren should be your children, and every holy book of the Torahshouldn't be just a book in the library.  Your book.  Mamash.  

THE WITNESSES CONFIRM THAT THE RING IS FREELY GIVEN BY THE GROOM
<joshu
OK, it's your ring, right.  You have no obligation to give it to[the bride].  You can throw it away, right, and nobody can tellyou anything.  
THE WITNESSES CONFIRM THAT THE RING IS GIVEN TO THE BRIDE
	OK, witnesses, you see this ring.
THE WITNESSES CONFIRM THAT THE BRIDE TAKES THE RING
OK, now you have to hold it between your two fingers.
THE WITNESSES CONFIRM THAT THE BRIDE ISN'T ALREADY WEARING A RING;BY REQUIRING THE BRIDE TO EMPTY HER HANDS OF EVERYTHING
{She is not yet allowed to put on the ring; so her hands arepresumably without any other rings}
<JOSHU
And you have to give it to your mother, all the flowers, just fora few minutes.  OK, without being personal, just show yourhands... give me your other hand also.  She has no rings on, sofar.  
THE GROOM THEN PUBLICALLY DECLARES IN THE PRESCENCE OF WITNESSESTHAT WITH THAT RING HE IS MARRYING THE BRIDE
By custom, this is said over a glass of wine, as it is a joyousoccasion.  
<joshu {In this case R. Shlomo apparently acted as agent for thegroom, although the groom may have said the formula -- I don'tknow}
	OK, Yankele, you are holding the "kos", I'm playing. Witnesses, you are all ready.  (Singing the brachos under thechupah)  "Harey at mekudeshet lee, b'tabat zu k'daat MosheV'Yisrael."  Mazel Tov!! (singing) 

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<sh2wmosh < moshe.ak

WITNESSES:

	The Heilage B'nai Yissascher says, everybody knows, if ever,ever in your life you did something wrong, you cannot be an "Adis"(witness) anymore.  That means, chas v'shalom that all theKedushins,(weddings) most of the Kedushins aren't legal, becausewho knows what the adim did before.  So the Heilage B'naiYissascher says, you know if it's Yom Kippur for chasan andkallah, do you know what they are doing?  They are bringing downYom Kippur also for the adim.  So I want you to know, all the holywitnesses here, that it is the deepest privilege to be an adis.  
	I want the adim to open your eyes.  I have to lift the veilbecause you have to see the holy face of the bride.  
	[To the groom]  Show us the ring... Adim, you see his ring? Mamash your ring. [Ie, the witnesses must confirm that the ringthey saw belongs tothe groom.]. 
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< w-Y&s

THE WITNESSES

   Okay, now we come to the real thing. 

 	the heiliger Bnei Yissaschar says that to be witnesses by awedding, you have to do tshuvah also, so since the  Ribbono shelolam needs kosher witnesses, the chatan and kallah's Yom Kippur isextending to the edim, and hopefully to all of us.
[The bride gives her bouquet to someone for a moment, sothat thewitnesses can see that she is not already wearing a ring.]

	You have anything in your hand?  Okay, witnesses, can you seethere's no rings on her finger so far? 
[I THINK AT THIS STAGE THE VEIL IS LIFTED FOR JUST LONG ENOUGHTHAT THE WITNESSES CAN CONFIRM THAT IT'S THE RIGHT BRIDE.]
   Okay, where's the wine?  (music)
 	Reb Nachman says It's a mitzvah to marry a woman; that's notlike tfillin, even like Shabbas, it's a different kind of mitzvah,
(blessing over wine)
(blessings over the mitzvah)

   Okay holy witnesses...okay,  Susan you have to hold up yourfinger. Yonatan, I know you're a big mkubal maybe you don't knowall the words yet, but inside you have the whole thing... you knowthe five fingers, God's two fingers, 
(he explains how the hand spells God's name) 
[THE TRANSCRIBER DID NOT TRANSCRIBE THAT PART.  ONE SIMPLY MUST GOBACK TO THE TAPE.  MAYBE YAEL M'SINAI, IN NEW YORK CITY, HAS ACOPY.  sa]
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.p
< w-aa&r
WITNESSES:
{Apparently the Ketuba is read -- that is to say, the marriage iscontracted, I assume between the parents, not the bridal couple --over a glass of wine; so one starts, I gather, with 2 blessings: over wine and over -- reading the Ketuba?? Idon't know}
Apparently 2 witnesses are sufficient, but R. Shlomo seems toprefer more -- at least Cohen, Levi, and Yisroael -- 

The first order of business is for the witnesses to confirm thatthe ring belongs to the groom, and to no one else -- a test thatit belongs to no-one else is that the groom could, then and thereif he chose, throw it away, and no-one could challenge his rightto do so.  Because the groom must give the bride a gift, and if itwhat he gave her didn't belong to him, she got a gift, but he didnot give it to her, he only delivered it, or passed it to her (asone passes stolen goods); an ordinary-language-analysis philospherwould say:  it was not he who gave her the gift.



 Cohen, Levi, and Yisroel for witnesses.
I want you to know why I'm so strong on having so many witnesses.  First of all, it goes without saying, that this ring, mamash,belongs to {the groom}.  You are witnesses it belongs to {thegroom}?  
{N.B.:  The witnesses are not required to say anything, nor doestradition encourage them to do so; their silence is taken forassent.  This may be what's behinds the Christian formula 'if anyman [I think the Christian formula is non-egalitarian] know whythismarriage should not take place, let him speak now or foreverhold his peace.'}

	basically the bride is covered during the ceremony, becausewhere the bride is reaching, is not for us to see.  Only, the holyRabbis gave us permission, for 1 split second, to lift the veil,for the witnesses to see her face.  That means that the witnessesare privileged, mamash, to look to that  high place.  Sotherefore, it's very special to be a witness, you know.  It meansthat G-d is giving you a chance to see mamash to the highestplace, where the Rebbono shel Olam  is putting husband and wifetogether.  You know, my most dearest loving friends, do we haveany idea, the faintest, faintest idea where that place is inheaven?  Where G-d is putting 2 people together?  
	You see, one day when Messiah is coming, that place will beopen to the whole world.  G-d's oneness will shine into the world.But before Mashiach is coming, there is only opening for 2 peopleto get together.  
{The "two people" here apparently refers tothe bridal couple, notto a limitation of 2 witnesses.  Although it does seem to be anarguement for limiting the number of witnesses to 2 -- and alsofor specifying that if possible they be a Cohen and a Levy,inasmuch as those are presumed to be still the holiest of the sonsof Israel,though if they're off at the horseraces one could makedo with 2 run-of-the-mill tzaddikim. -- sa}

    OK, now for 1 split holy second, I want all the witnesses justto look for 1 second. OK, lift the veil.
{To the groom, because the groom does not know the marriage vow byheart:} , you have to recite after me.  There is only one wordwhich I cannot say, because you have to say it. "LI", to me.  LI.
Reb Shlomo shouts out "Mekedeshet".  MAZEL TOV. Singing. 
You are not permitted to be mafsik too long between the brachas,because they have to go together.
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< my.ak

WITNESSES
  
{To the groom and bride} 
  You couldn't have found a better,{stronger -- sa-- for R. Shlomohad just then asked the guests to sing 'ayshe hayil'}  sweeterwoman in the world.  And you couldn't find a better man.  Butgevaldt, you know who did it all?  Just One.  One in the world. When people get married, it's not just to get married, there arewitnesses, that there is one God.  There are witnesses that thereis one G-d in the world who is really taking care of us. 

	The {bedecken is the } highest ceremony up in heaven.*

And according to our holy tradition, you need witnesses.  So whoare the witnesses up there that you got married.  Your children.  
	 And do you know the way to get up there.  Would you know theway to the Himalayas?  No.  To get up to heaven, it takes morethan just a few mountain climbers, so your children come to thisworld and they know the way.  They take both of you up there. AndReb Levi Yitschak Berditchever says, that is the most awesomemoment of the wedding, when the children come and they are thewitnesses.           

	I bless you with all my heart, you should always, always beso loving to each other.  But you know what, you know what keepshusband and wife together?  The children.  Gevaldt, do they keepthem together.  So I bless you that your children should alwaysremind you where G-d put you together up there.  OK, we sing"Aishes Chayil".

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< my.ak

THE WITNESSES:
  Teaching of sthe B'nai Yissachar 

	  Everybody knows, the B'nai Yissaschar says, Al peh Halachah(according to the law) that anybody whoever, chas v'shalom, didsomething wrong cannot be a witness.  So the B'nai Yissascharsays, that's the end of it.  Is there anybody in the world whowould have the chutspa to say I never, ever made a mistake?  Sothat means, all the weddings are off, right.  Bad scene.  So youremember we were learning last week, that the Chosan and Kallahgive their Yom Kippur to the witnesses. 

	 You know, sometimes there's a way of making a person better. But then there's something even deeper.  Like, in your presenceit's like going to the Mikve.  Mamash you drown in something soholy.  You drown in something so beautiful.  So when you come out,you are a new person.  
                                                                  	{To the groom} Is this your ring?  That means, if you wouldthrow it away right now, {your bride} couldn't have any claims onyou.  Mamash your ring.  Good.  So hold it between your twofingers.  {To the bride}  you have nothing in your hands.  Youhave to close your fingers and just this one finger.  
	yYou remember when we crossed the Red Sea.  We said "Zeh KaliV'anvehu".  This is my G-d.  The Talmud says, when you find yoursoulmate, it's like crossing the Red Sea.  So while you arecrossing the Red Sea, {the bride} says, "Zeh Kali V'anvehu".  Thisis my G-d.  The more you know where G-d is, this is the way youknow the world.  That's the way you know your husband, yourchildren.  So you tell {the groom}  "I'm ready for "Zeh Kali", I'mready to point to G-d, I'm ready to point at my husband. And oneday I'll be ready to point at my children."  
	(The groom  gives the bride  the and recites the marriageformula: )         (You are madeholy unto me with this ring, in the way of Moses and Israel)
	Mazel Tov!!!
	Singing
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< w-r&z

THE HALACHIC REQUIREMENT TO LIFT THE VEIL TO BE SURE IT'S THE RIGHT BRIDE

	And before, everything has to be clear.  The whole thing ofYiddishkeit is that it has to be clear.  
	When I'm sitting, I don't have to be clear.  When I'mwalking, I have to be clear where I'm walking.  Otherwise, haveyou ever felt that you are walking, and you don't know where youare going?    Every step makes it so heavy when you don't knowwhere you are going.  When it comes to walking, you have to beclear.  
	You know what the holiness of Halachah is?  Why are lawscalled Halachah?  It has to be clear.  Halachah has to be soclear.  You have to know where you're going.  {haLaCHaH = etym.'the way to go'} 
	According to Halachah, it's not enough just to see this girlstanding there with the veil on her face, and to assume this isthe Callah.  You mamash have to lift up the veil to make it veryclear.
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< y-y&b

WITNESSES TO THE KIDDUSHIN (THE RING CEREMONY)


    It is awesome to be a witness because if you did a little bitwrong chat v'shoom, then your whole witnesses is falling apart.  
	And {if} a few witnesses is falling apart then the whole {marriage ceremony}  is falling apart.  
	The holy tzaddikim said a gevalt thing, the moment the groomdecides that you should be a witness, \ has no choice right, Hehas to forgive you everything and wash you clean  like mad, thatmeans holy  {the bride and groom}  are extending their Yom Kiuppur{forgiveness of sins} to the witnesses, so please witnesses extendit upon all of us we should also have a little share in this holyshampoo from \ this holy perfume coming down from heaven to washour souls as clean as before we were born, and even more beautifulthan that.  

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	THE WITNESSES DETERMINE THAT THE WOMAN UNDER THE VEIL IS THEBRIDE
{N.B.:  It clearly is not the groom who lifts the veil.  I do notknow if one of the witnesses can do it. Apparently it is a man whodoes it.  A woman cannot serve as a witness, but I do not know ifa woman could lift the veil of the bride.  Apparently if the onewho lifts the veil is not a witness, he cannot look at the face ofthe bride.}

	According to Halaka, since the {bride} has a veil over herface and adim (witnesses have to see very clear, so  look at thebride with great concentration, for one second I'm lifting theveil.  
	Do you know where {the bride} is right now in the highestheaven, you know where she is?  And the witnesses are given theprivilege to reach that high and to see the bride  the way she'sshining up there in heaven, gevalt I envy you for being witnesses.

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< y-t

KIDDUSHIM: WITNESSES, KIDDUSHIM B'RACHA, GROOM'S STATEMENT UPONGIVING THE BRIDE THE RING

{R. Shlomo notes 2 witnesses.  He apparently likes to have a Cohenand a Levy, but apparently in this case, unlike Torah reading,there is no requirement that they be given preference overYisrael's}}
{He also nominates R. David Herzberg as Chief  'unterfeurer',which I assume may be approximately translated `gopher', as-it-issaid, in the name of Mr. Mike Duncan, CEO of the RealityConstruction Company (upper Arroyo Hondo, 1968+) 'a gopher will gofer anything'  He then calls for 2 cups, plus one that can bebroken.  He then says the blessing over wine, to which the groomresponds 'Amen' (He is quite clear that (a) it is not the groomwho says it and (b) that the groom must respond 'Amen'.  He thenrecites the following blessing, to which the groom must respond'Amen':}

	KIDDUSHIM B'RACHA
      
	 "Boruch Atoh Hashem Elokenu Melech HaOlam Asher KiddishanuB'Mitsvasav V'tsivanu al Arayos, V'asar lonu es Ha'arusos,V'heeter lanu es HaNisuos lanu, al Yidey Chupah v'Kiddushin. Boruch Atoh Hashem, Mikadesh Amo Yisrael al Yidey Chupahv'Kiddushin."  Amen.
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