;.cR. Shlomo/Wedings/3ming/ring
;.l1,6,60,66,1,0,10,75,192,2,15,20,25,127,10,0,
sh3wring
R. Shlomo
Weddings
3ming
Ring
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THE RING IS GIVEN BY THE GROOM TO THE INTENDED RECIPIENT
<abe

You know children before they are born, their fingers...  They putall their fingers right through also, and you "Mikadesh" themalso.  What a privilege.  Just imagine how cute those kids will bewith such beautiful parents.                                                    	You remember the Torah, the Heilage B'neiYissaschar says, why don't we make a Bracha when children areborn?  So he says, the Bracha of the wedding is over the children. But there is one little thing to it.  You're not permitted to be"mafsik".  When I make a Bracha over an apple, I can wait until Ieat the apple, but I cannot do anything else.  So I bless you, theholiness which G-d gives you right now should have no hefsek.      
THE RING IS SHOWN TO THE WITNESSES, AND THE WITNESSES LOOK AND SEETHAT THE BRIDE IS NOT ALREADY WEARING A WEDDING RING.

THE WITNESSES {eidim} NEXT CONFIRM THAT THE WOMAN UNDER THE VEILIS IN FACT THE BRIDE.

	Now Eidim [ for one second, I'm lifting the veil, just forone split second, you have to look at the Callah for one second. Mamash, the sweetest Callah in the world.  

IT IS NEXT CONFIRMED THAT THE RING IS OF SIGNIFICANT VALUE, ANDTHAT IT BELONGS TO THE CHATTAN.  {?From the Talmudic teaching thata woman can be legally acquired -- ie married -- by a gift ofsignificant value.-- sa}

OK, now let me see the ring for one second.  Adim, you see it'sworth a pruta at least and it's mamash your own.  Yes, you boughtit mamash.
  	OK, one second chevre, I need silence because I want theEidim to concentrate and Chosson and Callah to concentrate in thedeepest way.  {To the groom:} I'm sure you want to marry her but Iwant you to summon your whole  ratsone (will).  
	{To the bride}: I want you to take your whole Neshama, yourwhole heart, your whole life, and mamash to be Mikabel (toreceive) this ring, not only in your hands, in your fingers.  Iwant you receive this ring from the deepest depths of yourNeshama.  From the deepest depths of your heart.  And you knowit's such a privilege to  get married in Chodesh Kislev.  Theletter of Chodesh Kislev is "", Samech.  Mamash a ring is Samech
    Gevaldt.  
 	Let me tell you one fast Torah while they bring the cup. Everybody knows that the letter Samech is the fifteenth letter inthe Aleph Bais.  And therefore everybody knows, Hamisha Asar BeAv, on the fifteeneth letter of the Aleph Bais is the day wheneverybody is getting married.  "B'nos Yisroel Yoitsos"  ۉ.  Because it's the letter Samech and this is the day whenmamash the Ribbono Shel Olam gives every young man a ring to marryhis holy bride.  
 
	I just want to tell you something.  It says "Min hameitzarkorosi Kah"    .  Ribbono shel Olam, I feel so bad,I'm so low, I'm so mamash depressed.  "Anoni"   .  Ribbono Shel Olam, answer me with the fifteenth letter of theAleph Bais.  Give me a little Samech so I marry my soulmate.  Sothen I'll feel so good, I'll be mamash so wide. 

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< MY.AK

There are so many Torahs, why the ring is round.  
	One of the Torahs...  you know the world is round... You knowG-d created the world, there are two kinds of walls, four cornersand round.  So your holy bride gave you a Tallis, a Tallis hasfour corners.  This is very beautiful, four corners of the world,it's the four corners of our life.  
	And then there's something even deeper.  You know what it is,when you get into corners, when you get into a corner, sometimesyou lose the center.  So you say to your holy bride, "Thank you somuch for the Tallis.  Thank you so much for the seven walls."  
	And you tell your holy bride, you know women have somethingthat we men will never have.  They can build a house, we can't. You know I can be a bachelor and live in the most beautiful house. It's not a house, it's stones.  A room?  A woman makes the house. Rav Yossi would call his wife his house.  So you say to your holywife, thank you so much, I can never build walls like you, but letme give you a little ring to let you know, to let you know- I'llbe so careful with your walls.  
 
	You know sometimes -- I don't want to say anything bad --  alot of men, they love their wives but they always push the walls,a little bit here, a little bit there.  Then G-d forbid, at theend when the walls fall apart they say it's not my fault.  {To thegrrom} I want you to be so careful -- because I want you to know,the seven walls which {your bride} built for you, gevaldt are theyholy.  They're done with so much love, with so much sweetness

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< sh2wmosh < moshe.ak

THE RING: Advanced teachings

	You remember all the Torahs we learned about "Samich", theHeilage Reb Avram Eiger's Torah, and then we find in the ZoharHaKodesh, that Yidden Mikadesh with HaTabas (marry with a ring)because it says,    , (Somech Hashem l'kalhanoflim, G-d holds up all who fall)  
	I want you to know, what was the first thing Adam HaRishondid for his wife?  She felt so broken when she did somethingwrong.  So what did Adam do?  He gave her a ring.  Somech Hasheml'kal hanoflim.  Held her up! 
	Remember we were learning it alot of times, that "" ""ۙ   The Mem is a "nes" (miracle) and the Samich isa "nes".  And the Ishbitser says Mem is beautiful, from all foursides, but it has corners, and sometimes you get close to someoneand then you get to a corner.  The Samich, it's so beautiful,wherever you put your hands, it's just so beautiful. 
	You know alot of people,  there are good husbands, but theyare mem husbands.  They mamash surround their wives, but gevaldt,but first of all they put her in a corner whenever they want to. Also there are mem wives.  You know they love their husbands, butthey push them in a corner.  We bless you, your marriage should bea Samich, no corners at all.  And not only no corners;  you knowthat the Samich, anything circular needs a center.  We bless youthat you should always be the center for each other.  And I blessyou that everything holy should be the center of your life.  Andyour children should be the center of your life.  
	
     You hold it (the ring) with your five  fingers.  And thenEsther, with your fingers, five fingers.    "Hei" [the fifthletter of the Hebrew alphabet], right. 	You are holding it withyour five fingers, it's "Hey", and her five fingers is "Hey", andthe taba'as (the ring) is a "Yud" and she holds it on her finger,it's a "Vav".  So you have "Yud, Kay, Vav, Kay", [theTetragrammaton] but above all... 
	The Heilage Reb Eigar says, when the woman shows her finger,she blesses you.  You know the Gemora says,      ۑ (Making couples is as hard as crossing the Red Sea)   When wecrossed the Red Sea, it says   ,       it was the highestmoment.  Baruch Hashem crossed the Red Sea right now.  So what areyou going to say?         So Esther says to Moshe, do youknow what we have to say,          .   
	I want you to know, your heart should always point at eachother.  Everything, whatever you do... [The bride] will say, "Thisis my husband".  [The groom] says, "You know what, ?? this is mywife." 
(Singing)

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< w-r&z

THE SEVEN CIRCLES, AND THE CIRCLE OF THE RING  (KIDDUSHIM): 
(I)  A teaching by the grandson of the Razminer Rebbe, on theTorah b'racha,
  
	The {marriage} ceremony has 2 parts.  The first part iscalled Kiddushin, and the Chatan puts the ring on the finger ofthe holy bride.  
    Every morning you say the bracha, 'Asher bachar banu micol haamim venatan lanu et Torato'.  
	The the holy Razminer had a son whose name was ChaimYehoshoua David.  Anyway, he didn't have children until after acertain point.  So he came out with a book called 'ChinuchHabanim', about how to educate children.  He writes in theforeword, "I'm just writing this book to remind G-d that I needchildren".  And I was always asking people, "Did he ever havechildren, this Rebbe?"  Nobody knew.  
	And just this Friday, I went to buy a new Hagada, and I saw aHagadah called `Tzemach Menachem', by Menachem Mendel, the son ofReb Yehoshoua David, the holy Radzminer.  
	And he said a very beautiful Torah from his father.  He said,sometimes we talk about the Torah and sometimes we call the Torah`davar Torahto'.  All the Halacha, nigle's galgishe torahs, arecalled Torah {teachings}.  `HIS' Torah {'ToRaH-to'}is called THETorah.  The way it is in heaven.  	
	The secrets of the Torah are a gevalt.  So we say `asherbachar banu mikol ha'amim'.  Means the chosen ones.  The peoplewho gave us all the Halachas, what to do.*  

But even more so, `venatan lanu et torato'.  All the secrets.  
	There's sometimes we do a mitzvah, and we don't feel thesecret of it.    And there are moments when you do a mitzvah, youcan't help it, but you feel all the secrets, all the secrets, allthe holy secrets.  
	There's no mitzvah in the world,  that you feel, mamash withyour bare hands, the secrets of it.  When you stand under theChuppah.  
	So we bless you, 'venatan lanu et torato'.  G-d should blessyou with, G-d should give you, all the secrets of the Torah, thesecrets of marriage, of being married, of knowing what it's allabout to be a Yiddele.  

	aAll the holy Kabbalists agree that we absolutely don't know,what Chuppah Kiddushin is all about.  But even not knowing it,just giving you a little taste.  


(II) THE 7 CIRCLES, AND THE CIRCLE OF THE RING

{N.B.:  It is here clear that first the bride walks around thegroom, then the groom gives her a ring}

	You know the Callah walks around 7 times.  You see the thingis, G-d is giving you the roof on top of you {ie, the Chuppah,like a Sukkah} and {the bride} is building the walls around,walking around 7 times.  Like hakafot on Simchat Torah, we make awall around us with holiness.  

	And then you give her a little ring.  It's also surroundinglight comes from a very high place.  Surrounding light is round. No beginning, no end.  You put it on her finger.  
	This is so deep.  We have no vessels to understand it.  Justgive you a little taste of how deep it is.  Where the light iscoming from.  
	And you know, all the holy Rebbes, when a Chatan would cometo see them before the Chuppah, they would tell him, "Prepareyourself.  Today, G-d gives you a taste of life, of holy life. You'll never have a chance to taste it as deep as right now".  


	Wwhen you do a mitzvah, you can do it just simply doing themitzvah.  It's very deep.  But you know what the Bracha's doing toyou?  The Bracha is giving you a little taste of reminding you,'Asher kidishanu bemitzvasov'.  With G-d's Torah.  Because I'lltell you a secret.  It's not just the action and the doing.  It'smuch more than that.  Can you imagine the Bracha over the ChuppahKiddushin?  What kind of a Brachah, how high this Bracha reaches? Gevalt.  
{(Bracha over wine) (ANOTHER BRACHAH)}.
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{N.B.:  What is that 2nd bracha?}
l1

 Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov. (singing)  

	I want you to know something very beautiful and very deep. You know, according to Halacha, (it's very, very strong) 
l2

{I think here there is a missing phrase, something like 'the groomhas to give the bride a ring with a value of 
l3
(`at least'? -- that is the halacha, but if we add 'at least' thisteaching isn't as neat
l2
a peruta'
And then as-it-were the 'minor premise of this Torah syllogism'would be to note spelling of the Tetragammaton}
l1

 G-d's name is Yud, kay, vov, kay.  

	And yud kay is the Chatan, and vov kay is the Callah.  Sotherefore, he has to be mekadesh her with a ring, which has thevalue of a prutah. The ring must have the value of a shave prutah. A prutah is prat, vav key.  Prat means it brings both, you know,the vav kay.  You see, it`s very deep.  
	The Chatan is responsible for holy thoughts in the house, andthe Callah, the woman, is responsible for holy action, which isvov kay.  Very, very deep.**  

{To the bride} So we bless you, you should always be shave prutah. Every action you do, should mamash be worthy of vov kay. It shouldbring forth the vov kay.  And if the vov kay is shining, then theyud kay is shining also.  Very strong.  

	 The Chattan is holding the ring like this, right?  Like alittle yud, and his fingers, 5, yud kay.  And the Callah isholding out her finger like a vov, and her 5 fingers like a kay. And the ring, which is even deeper than yud kay vov kay, the ringcomes from such a high place.  The deepest depths of the world.  
-  - --- - ----- -----         -------     -------     --------
{N.B.:  In w-r&z the circles--ring--witnesses blend teogether.}
(THE RING, CONT.)

   {To the groom} It's yours.  You can even destroy it if youwant, right?  100%. Okay, good, good.  

Take it between your 2  fingers and make a strong yud.  Mamash,yud kay.  And I'll tell you something very, very deep.  You knowChatan comes from the words,` neches darga'.  To go down.  

	I want you to know *everybody talks about Womens Lib. {N.B.: This teaching is from the early 1970s.}  And they're right.  Thereis something very deep going on in the world.*  I want you to knowthat yud kay is only holy, because yud is such a small letter. Just so small.  If you want your Rebbetzin to be the holiestRebbetzin in the world, you have to make yourself so small.  Verysmall.  And believe me, she is sure to make you big.  Because vavkay makes you feel so holy, so deep, and so high.  So I bless you,always to be on the level of yud kay.  

	THE WITNESSES SEE THE BRIDE TAKE THE RING FROM THE GROOM, WHOTHEN PRONOUNCES THE LEGAL FORMULA THAT HIS GIFT OF THE RING ISINTENDED TO LEGALLY MARRY HIMSELF AND THE BRIDE

And now, holy adim please watch closely.  {To the bride} Put yourfingers together so it should be vav kay.  `Hary at mekudeshetli... ' 
Mazel Tov.  ( singing)  		  

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< w-y&b

THE GROOM MARRIES THE BRIDE BY GIVING HER A RING

	In heaven it says exactly what split second you should putthe ring on.  
{Reference here is to the traditional wording in the ketuba, whichstates that the wedding will be at an appropriate time.}

	You know we can hang ourselves on a wall it'll be  at thatmoment.  At a wedding there's no reason to get excited overanything because everything is G-d's time, nothing you can do. Mazal tov mazal tov.  
	There's no reason to be excited over anythig anyway, the onlyreason for anything to be excited about is that G-d created HeavenanD and Earth, bcause this is mind-blowing

	Can you imagine with how much holiness G-d made a littlecovenant between Him and Abraham, can you imagine with how muchholiness Moishe Rabenu made a covenant between all of Israel andG-d.  And all this Holiness is given to you right now, just acovenant betweeen you and {your bride}.   
	Believe me, it's very holy to amke a covenant with the wholeworld.  But to make a covenant with one person it's so deep.  Where that reaches nothing can reach, it's so deep.  I want tobless {bride and groom} , you should renew this covenant everysecond of your life, not only with the same holiness, with deeperholiness, with deepest devotion
 in the world.  	
	Do you know what the covenant between us and G-d is -- theCovenant is that [G-d] says I'll never exchange you for anybodyelse and we swore to G-d we'll never exchange YOU for anybody else-- so  as long as you're in this world, you should be together,  And it should be so deep between you


	When G-d created Adam and Eve, when G-d married them off,  Gd didn't really ask them do you want to get married -- whom elsecould he have married. What else could they do.  		Soit was beautiful, but it's much more beautiufl, much holier andmuch deeper because G-d decided after we were driven out ofparadise, the fixing is that it's one thing we do on our own.   
	You know I don't have choice to be a Jew and it's pretty holyright, but I have choice whom to marry.  That means it's evenhigher.  

	The Rambam says, what does it mean to be created in G_d'simage, that we have no choice.  
	The  closest you can get to \ is, to choose to build theworld.  You know I have choice always, but what did \ choose, whatis the highest choosing \ ever did?  To create the world. So whenyou choose to create a new little world you and {your bride}, thisis the closest you ever got to \ in your life.  

	When \ created the world, HE created Paradise, but obviouslythe walls of paradise were too soft, we can get out of it.  I wantto bless you that when {your bride} walks around you seven times - she's  so soft and sweet, and I know the walls are very soft,but I want to bless you that the walls should be also so strong,mamash to keep your house together forever and ever.  Those wallsshould be the holiest walls in the world.   
INSERT HEBREW,  the walls of Yerushaliyim.  

{To the groom}
	 I know you're always saying {brachot?} but this time m I'mmaking the bracha for you because I'm moitzei you, basically theHasan's supposed to make the bracha, but the holy Hachamiim werem'saken [=the holy Rabbis ordained] that somebody else should sayit for the Hasan, for one reason or another.  So say it with meinside, softly you can say it with me.  And then if you say itwith me don't say 'Amen'. * 

And if you don't [say it then do]  say 'Amen'.  And all of youfriends say 'Amen' very strong.

INSERT HEBREW 

 	{To the groom} I know you're m so filled with giving you'reready to give everying you have, but right now m \ puts into yourhands a little ring and you're m  bulding the Beit haMikdash withthat little ring and let it be the holy of holiest thing you everheld...till Mashiach is coimng. 

{The witnesses ascertain that the bride has no other rings; toascertain that the bride must be holding nothing in her hands}

	Everybody knows that it says 
Maase Yodov Magid Harokia INSERT HERBREW

\ created the world with HIS hands.  
	It says \ created the world with HIS hands and you and {yourbride}  are creating your world with your hands.  
 	When we crossed the Red Sea we said zeh kelii va'anevih,  wepointed with our fingers and we said This is  \.  Everybody knowsto get married is as hard as crossing the sea and not till youcross the sea do you find your soulmate to say  INSERT HEBERW Thisis my ______________


    Do you know what {your bride}  did to you -- m whatever youknow of \ before, it doesn't compare to what you know now, evendeeper.  So for her showing you that there is one \ doesn't shedeserve a little ring on that finger which shows you that there isone \.  I want to bless all the holy couples that their wivesshould always show us that there is one \, and if there is one \then the world is so beautiful, and if there is one \ everythingis good.  
	We bless you with utmost concentration, concentration of theHigh Priest when he walked in to the Holy of Holies..
(Yankele marries Brachele)
("U'vne Yerusahyim ir hakodesh bimheima biyomeinue" (in deepsinging)
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< y-t

TAKING THE RING

	the Tabaas (the ring) is like a Yud, the five fingers is likeHey, the Callah's finger is like Vav, and her five fingers arelike Hey.  Mamash, Yud Kay Vav Kay.  Mamash `Shechina ShruyaBeneihem'.  Mamash the deepest light of the world should bebetween you.                           

{To the bride}You have to hold out your hand.  And the mostimportant thing.  For one second the adim have to look at theKallah behind the veil.  

{To the bride}
 	You have to hold out your hand, close your fingers, just likethis.
	
	THE GROOM'S MARRIAGE FORMULA

{The groom recites}:

	"Harey At Mikudeshes Lee b'Tabaat Zu k'Daat Moshe v'Yisrael." (Behold you are Holy unto me with this ring like the   Law ofMoses and Yisrael).
	Mazel Tov!! (Singing)                         	
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