;.cR. Shlomo/Weddings/3ming/Kinyan -- the handkerchief
;.l1,6,60,66,1,0,10,75,192,2,15,20,25,127,10,0,
sh3wkin
R. Shlomo
Weddings
3ming
Kinnyan -- confirmation of ketuba by taking hold of ahandkerchief, or any other object
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THE GROOM INDICATES HIS ACCEPTANCE OF THE KETUBA BY TAKING HOLD OFA HANDKERCHIEF, OR ANY OTHER OBJECT {R. Shlomo sometimes prefers aSefer Kodesh}
{I do not know if the handkerchief etc. must be given to the groofas a gift.}

<JOSHU
	Why was Avraham chosen [to found the Jewish people] and notNoach?  The Torah says Noach was a big tsaddik.  You know whyNoach wasn't chosen?  He was very holy, but things didn't touchhim.  
	You know you can be very holy, do everything right, but thequestion is, where does it touch you?  You know when G-d says toNoach, I'll destroy the whole world, he said OK.  What can you do? 	You know what the Lubliner says?  I want to mention his nameunder your chupah, the Heilage Chozeh m'Lublin.  After the flood,it says, "V'yisha'air ach Noach",    the only one whoremained is Noach.  So the Lubliner says, "V'yisha'air ach Noach", ۅ   after the flood, the same Noach.  The same Noach?!? You see the destruction of the world, and you walk out the same? You are cute and you're sweet, you are a tsaddik, but you are notthe one to bring Mashiach.  
	Ah, the Heilage Zeide Avraham, when he heard G-d isdestroying S'dom, he says, No, I won't let You!  
	You know why Noach wasn't taking in poor people?   What can Ido, G-d made him poor.  So, what can I do?  So Avraham says,Ribbono Shel Olam, I won't let you.  
	So you know what this whole "Kabbalas Kinyan" is all about? You can stand under the chupah, you can live hopefully a hundredyears, or two thousand years with [the bride].  But the deepestquestion is, where does it touch you?  So how much does it mean toyou?  So mamash we bless you, we give you this handkerchief. "Kinyan" means, this is a Torah from all the Rebbes, "Kinyan"comes from lashon, "Kin", a nest.  That every word should dwell inyour heart, every word should be so deep in your heart.  He says,ۋ      (k'nesher yair kino al gozlovyirachef, like an eagle hovering over its babies) I want you toknow something, I want to bless you that your children should livein your heart.  I bless you that Tara should live in your heart. All of Israel should live in your heart.  
	[To the bride]..., I want you to know right now, G-d isgiving you... Your heart was pretty big so far.  Make it evenbigger. Do you know why?  If you would ask me how big a heart dochildren need, how big a heart does a husband need?  Infinite,right.  But in order to be infinite, we have no object which isinfinite, so we take a cute little handkerchief.  
{THE GROOM TAKES THE HANDKERCHIEF}
	 Do you know how many people before you got married?  Zeides,bubas, all the way to Avraham.  You know, Avraham and Sarah, theywere not chosen yet when they got married.  But Yitschak andRivka, right.    So I want to bless you, that all the Yiddenbefore you and after you.  They should give you strength to makethis... 

?? KABALLAS KINYAN; MUTUAL PROMISES BETWEEN GROOM & BRIDE? SAIDWHILE JOINED BY A HANDKERCHIEF??

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< allen

	OK, now you are married in your head and in your heart.  Youwant your hands to be married.  Give me your hand.  Remember aboutthe tannayim?  You wanted your hands to reach heaven, everysecond, every minute.  Mamash, you know, I want you to receiveevery word which is written; this is the greatest love letter ofyour life.  Your soulmate.  And you know if G-d  gave it to you,it's the best thing you ever got.  So we bless you.  You knowthere's a saying, the Talmud says, "Blessed is the one who has allhis teachings in his hand."  Alot of people  have good teachingsfrom their head, but the hands...not so much.  I want your handsto be married.  And whenever [the wife asks a favor of thehusband, or the husband asks a favor of the wife, the other wilsay] "I'm waiting all day long to do you a favor.  Why did youwait so long?"  Mamash, we bless you with everything.  OK, hold upyour hands.

(The groom then gives the Ketuba to the bride) The greatest loveletter you ever got. 
	Now, my beautiful friends, we need to get much, much closer. We have exactly two more minutes.  OK, Aharon Moshe Shmuel, M'talHashamayim, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you.              =================================================================

< sh2wmosh < moshe.ak

THE KINYAN:

	You know alot of things, you write them, you do them, thequestion is, do they have a place in your heart.  Do you make a"kinyan" ?  A "Kinyan" -- from heaven, bisideat Hashmaya (with 
G-d's help), every word of the Kesuba, every word of the Torah,should find a place in your heart.  
    Your heart should be filled with holiness and goodness, withlove for your wife and children. G-d should bless you,  everythingshould be given to you, .
	And we bless you, one more thing.  That when G-d gives youeverything, [the husband and wife should say, each to the other,],"G-d gives it to us because of you."  "  And both of you shouldsay to your children, "Gevaldt, only because of you."    Yourhouse should be open to all the broken people, to all the poorpeople, to all the people who just need a good world, sometime.   
	OK, chevre,     Mamash, the whole world shouldhave a place in your house and your heart.  The most importantthing,      Mamash your house should be a BaisHaMikdash, your house should be a Bais HaMikdash.
	 We need the holy witnesses to sign.  
THE WITNESSES SIGN THE KETUBA
	(Singing)               
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< w-aa&r


Now I need....  If someone wants to donate a clean handkerchief. Or I'll tell you what.  Do we have an extra 'Likutei Maharan'? Reb Nachman?  Or 'Hishtafhucte Hanefesh' from Reb Nachman?  OK. The thing is that, mamash, we are giving you a little gift.  Andfor that, you make it even stronger.  By receiving it, you acceptupon yourself all those words, even stronger.                                                               7 brachot
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< my.ak

KINYAN: THE GROOM SIGNIFIES ACCEPTANCE OF THE MARRIAGE CONTRACT,BY TAKING HOLD OF A HANDKERCHIEF IN THE PRESENCE OF WITNESSES
    
	Now we need a good handkerchief.  (Can we give it to him as agift?  Good.)  you know alot of people have good ideas in theirhead.  But what about reality?  The deepest reality is our hands. Our head is beautiful, our brains are beautiful, but the hands,we're doing it.  So give me your right hand.  Witnesses, are youwatching, please.  
	You know the hands of Esav are to destroy the world, becausethey have nothing else to do with their hands.  From this minuteon, G-d gives you hands to rebuildthe Bais HaMikdash, to rebuildyour house, to rebuild your marriage, to rebuild your children. So I want you to know from now on, you have different hands.  
	{To the bride} Wwhen {the groom} put the ring on you, youhave different hands from now on.  
	You know why children want so much for parents to carry themall the time?  Because they love the hands of their parents somuch. They know the ring.  My mother has such beautiful hands andwhen their father picks them up, ah, this is the hands from"Kabalas Kinyan".  "Kabbalas Kinyan" is to receive the deepestblessing, the deepest G-d knowledge, the deepest husband and wifeknowledge, the deepest father and mother knowledge.  The deepest.  
 	I want you to hold up this handkerchief up to heaven, G-dshould give you everything.   Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov, 
              Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov
                                   
Singing
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< y-t

"KABBALAS KINYAN"

                                                          		Now we need a little hankerchief or maybe any siddur would begood.  Anybody wants to give me a sefer?    "Taharas".  It's thelast of the six books.    The Maaglei Tseddek, from the HeilageDeizher Rov.  The deepest.  

                                                               	 	Kabbalas Kinyan should be called "Asiyas Kinyan".  Making it. 
	What's kabbalas, to receive?  {To bride & groom} You know howmuch G-d wants to give you right now?  The Chachomim were soworried,   maybe our vessels are not big enough.  So  we're givingyou a little bit more vessels.    You should have vessels for allthe blessings, both of you, which G-d wants to give you.  
 
{Thus R. Shlomo departs a bit fron non-binding custom (as distinctfrom varous binding customs) in preferring a sacred book to ahandkerchief as the object which the groom takes hold of toindicate assent to the marriage contract. -- sa}

.........  v'hacol shorir v'kayom.

	The signing of the Kesuba doesn't have to be under thechupah.        

	The Ishbitser says:  When you give somebody a gift, they areonly close while they are giving you the gift.  After youy giveyou the gift, it's theirs, they have no connection to you anymore. 	He says: when the Ribbono shel Olam gave us the Torah, itsays, Moshe Rabbenu was holding it, and G-d was holding it and hesays:  Moshe Rabbenu only dropped his part, but the part which theRibbono shel Olam is holding, never fell to the ground.  
	So I want to bless you something, you should both hold ontoit.  And whenever G-d forbid one part feels like falling, you holdon strong.  Hold on strong.  I'm giving it to both of you.  Hholdonto it forever.  But make a shaliach to hold it for you. (theKesuba)

{Apparently the bride and groom do not touch the ketuba; thatsuggests that it is regarded as a contract between their parents,not between them.
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