;.cR. Shlomo/weddings/3ming/introductory considerations
;.l1,6,60,66,1,0,10,75,192,2,15,20,25,127,10,0,
sh3w6int
R. Shlomo
Weddings
3ming
6th doc
GENERAL INTRODUCTION TO WEDDINGS
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< my.ak

MARRIAGE KEEPS A MAN HUMBLE, AND KEEPS HIS LIFE INTERESTING
A teaching of the "old" Lubavitcher Rebbe

	 I wouldn't like to marry a girl who says yes to everything Isay.  It would be boring stiff, right.  The beautiful thing in theworld is, if you meet somebody who doesn't say yes all the time.
  
	I have to tell you something, just to mention Tsaddikim, youknow my holy brother, my twin brother, I hope his light is shiningupon me and upon us.  The day after he got married, the oldLubovitcher Rebbe nebech, was paralyzed, so he couldn't come tothe wedding.  So my brother came to him the next day.  So theLubovitcher Rebbe said to them, why did G-d make it that peoplehave to get married?  G-d could have created the world indifferent kind of ways...  So who dares to speak up in front ofsuch a holy man.  So they didn't say anything.  So the Rebbe says,"I'll tell you.  When you are alone, you think that you are alwaysright.  So G-d gave you a soulmate to let you know that you arenot right."  It's a gevaldt teaching, right!  Some men think,disgusting, I got married, and here she always says no to me. HEY, GEVALDT, you should dance like crazy.  Thank G-d there's aperson in the world who tells me I'm wrong.  
	I bless you that you should a little bit contradict eachother, but you should do it with so much love, with so muchsimcha.  Because you know, at the end, you know what you bothagree?  You both agree that you are soulmates.  And you both agreethat the greatest thing in the world is for you to be married. And the rest doesn't count.  
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.p
HOW MARRIAGES ARE MADE IN HEAEN

 <w -y&s

(music, Shlomo singing the opening)
Mazel Tov, my beautiful friends. Life is so deep.  And therelationship between people is so deep..it is heavenly. And onlyone G-d 	ini heaven, the one who knows the deepest depths ofevery human being; `HE' can put two people together... Rememberwhen sometimes we meet people, and we think the outside fits, theinside doesn't fit, the inside of the inside. 
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 < w-y&s

A WEDDING SHOULD BE HELD AT THE PROPER [`INDIAN'] TIME 

       The holy Rizhiner says, not only they call out exactly theperson you should marry, they call out exactly the place and thesplit second. So, you trust my judgment? I'm telling you, I'lltell you exactly what the time is...
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< my.ak

	There are three partners in every human being. Father,mother, and G-d.  Everybody knows that forty days before a personis born, they call out in heaven who this person should marry. And all the holy Rabbis say, why does it have to be forty daysbefore they are born?  Can't you wait until they are eighteen orlet's say sixteen and call out then who they should marry?  Butthe answer is because there are three partners.  The father,mother, and G-d.  And as much as we love our parents and ourparents love us, but really to decide who's my soulmate, there'sonly One.  

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< w-aa&r (ca. 1973?) 

WHY EVERYONE IS INVITED TO A WEDDING

You know, in heaven, they decide who should marry whom.  They alsodecide the exact moment when the wedding should be, and they alsodecide who should be there. 
	 Do you know what I mean to say?  You know, some of us thinkthat we met {the bride and groom} just now.  When they were calledout for each other in heaven, we were already on the wedding list. It's very special.  You know that means that our souls are reallyrelated to each other.  And so, long ago, G-d decided that {they}are to be married.  And I want this one to be there, and this oneand this one.  
	And you know, the craziest thing in the world.  Tonight atthe concert, I invited everyone to come to the wedding.   I meanhow could I not, right?  And it means that those people who said,"I'm too tired" or, "I can't come" - everybody who obviously wasnot invited by G_d to come, didn't make it, right?  But everybodywho was on the list is coming, right?  
	You see the difference in being on a human list and being onG-d's list is very simple.  When I get an invitation, usually Idon't go.  I usually decided that I shouldn't go, because if youthink that I need an invitation to come to your wedding,alreadywere not that close.  Do I need an invitation to my own wedding? No.  I just go.	      
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THE HASSIDIC TRADITION OF INVITING ALL THE POOR TO ONE'S WEDDING

< abe
 
   There's a Torah from Reb Nachman, why is it that I invite thewhole world to my chupah?  Why don't I invite the whole world inthe morning when I'm putting on tefillin.  It's also a mitsva.  Ishould invite the whole world. What's so special about gettingmarried.  And basically, it's a private thing.  You know, I wouldsay, Choson and Callah should go up in the mountains by themselvesand come back and say Mazel Tov, we got married.  
	So Reb Nachman says the deepest Torah in the world.  Eachtime a man and a woman get married, they are building  a newworld, mamash another world.  And they don't build a world justfor themselves.  They want to change the whole world.  They wantto  build Gan Eden again.  So we're inviting the whole world andthey say, we swear to you from now on there will be a new world.  

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< my.ak

	At a wedding, all of Israel is here. Not only the living. According to the Zohar HaKodesh, every wedding, Avraham Avinu iscoming, Yitschak, Yaakov, the four holy Mothers, everybody'sthere.  
	So I just want to sing a song to greet all the holy souls,all the people from the other world who are coming.  ... it's justafter Tisha B'Av - Chamisha Assar B'Av [the 15th of Av].  I wantto sing the Skolener nigun,"Chasdei Hashem".
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< my.ak

THE WEDDING ABOVE AND BELOW

	We have seen couples, they get married, it's a legalceremony, and they're married, legally, but it takes more thanthat to be a husband and wife.  It takes so much more. Our holyKabbalists tell us that when the wedding is happening here below,G-d is marrying both of you up there.   
    Sometimes, you meet couples -- you know in this world, it wasa beautiful wedding, but you have a feeling that nothing happenedup there between their two souls, between the most real part ofthem.  

	... So now all of us, we're here, this little physical world,I don't know how much we can have a glimpse of up there, but  Iwant you to stand up and not only stand on your feet, I want youto stand on the top of your soul, and I want you to be so tallthat you reach heaven.  And I want us to sing "Aishes Chayil".  

	... There's a Holy Temple below and there's a Holy Templeabove.  And when two people get married, they're building the HolyTemple.  And later on, {the bride will} walk around to bring itdown a little bit to this world, the walls, but right now it'sjust really up there.  And you know what the sign is that it's upthere.  That it's only one split second, because how long does theBedecken take?  One second.   

	Do you know how long the revelation on Mount Sinai took?  Onesplit second.  A billionth'l of a split second because if I haveto say the Ten Commandments, it takes so long, right.  When G-dsays Ten Commandments, it's a billionth'l*  of a split second. Let this second carry you forever, you and your children.

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WEDDINGS IN ISRAEL

<abe
Can you imagine what a privilege for the both of you to getmarried in the Holy Land.

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< my.ak

    WHY WE CAN'T REHEARSE THE ENTIRE WEDDING
  
	So you'll ask me, I could have shown this {that the groommust stand in the center of the chuppah??} yesterday.  Not true. Because your greatest G-d revelation that ever happened to you and{your bride}  is right this moment.  You know that G-d is thecenter of the world.  
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<w-r&z

	You know, sometimes I wonder - people are always complainingabout our young generation, that they're not morally on thehighest level.  They're not Jewish enough.  And then when itcomes, mamash, 2 young kids want to get married on the highestlevel,  people cannot disturb it fast enough.  
	  People will think that Yiddishkeit was only  in Europe. America's not frum enough.  Really!  Let me tell you friends, ourgeneration is so holy.  I can swear to you that since thedestruction of the Temple, we didn't have such kids. Take it orleave it.  

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< w-r&z

WEDDING LIKE ROSH HASHANA, YOM KIPPUR, SUKKOS, AND SIMCHAT TORAH.

 	n Yom Kippur the High Priest would walk into the Holy ofHolies for all of Israel; which is very holy, earthshaking,  butimagine if someone has the privilege to walk into the holy ofholies just for my children. There is nothing but G_d.
      Everybody knows Hatan and Kallah  goes Rosh Hashana, YomKippur, Succos, and Simachat Torah. 
	Everybody knows Rosh Hashana is like when there there is nomoon, minon li___ geval, when everytHing is hidden.  It is sodeep, there is so much closeness, that so to speak even G_ddoesn't want any light on it.  
	You know when you're very close to somebody,...anybody cansee it.  So the first thing is at the beginning of the weddingthat the Chatan covers the face of the callah, right now I'mtaking you to the place where even G-d's light doesn't shine,becase even G-d's light is disturbing[?-recheck tape], just G-dHimself.  
	And then comes the Huppah which is like Yom Kippur, mamashyou're walking into the Holy of Holiest, praying for yourchildren, praying for all generations to come till Mashiach comes. 
	And then comes all the dancing, all the dancing, and you walkinto your house and it's like a little Succah, and we bless youyour house should be a Succot Shalom, and we bless you that yourhouse should always {be open to?}  the holy guests, Avroah, Yitzakand Yakov, Moshe, Aaron, Yoself and David, 

	...  Yosef HaTzadik has always his eyes open, because , heonly sees what G-d wants him to see. He's so holy.  I just want tobless you and me that Yosef HaTzadik should look at us.  ...  withhis holy wife Osnat. 

Then at the very very end, I see somebody really rushing fast. Youknow, because he has a lot to do in the world. Eliyahu Hanavi. Hesays, "You know, I really don't have all night time to be there. Ihave a lot to do tonight. But I just want to be there for oneminute to see what's going on."

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E21<[21]<FROM T12,  "Chaya/Marriage" PP1-2: 

Shavuot is the day of our marriage to the Ribono shel Olam.
Standing under the chupah of Mount Sinai....The bride and groomwho met under the Great Chupah will build the sweetest house inthe world.
	So many marriages don't work because the husband doesn't havehis makom and the wife doesn't know her makom.  
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< w-y&b

THE BRIDE GOES TO THE MIKVEH BEFORE THE WEDDING

	{To the bride}  I can imagine with how much holiness you wentinto the Mikvah. From now on, your Mikveh should be just joy. Youshould be surrounding yourself all over with joy and withsweetness, and with holiness... and with bliss from heaven.  
	And you should be able to put your children... Sometimes amother puts children into the bath and takes some soap and scrubbsthem. I want you to take joy, mamash and wash them clean. Becausejoy is the greatest soap in the world.   Instead of all theshampoos, I want you to take a little simcha and wash their hair agevalt.  It'll smell so good and be so beautiful.
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