Brooklyn, 5745
Edited from Connections Magazine Vol 1 No 2

Not for commercial redistribution

A Guide to the "Seder of Pesach"
by Reb Shlomo Carlebach
(continued)

5)  TZAFON!  (Afikomon)	

     Seder night lasts one second - it takes no
time. When I have to make up with somebody I do
not love, until I make up, it takes so long. When
I make up with someone I love so much, it takes
no time because we love each other anyway. If
we would have been slaves in Egypt, it would
have taken a long time to become free. But, the
truth is, we were never slaves. We were alwavs
free. And, to return to what we really were, took
just one second. Seder night is when G-d gives
every Jew a taste of what they really are.

     Our children don't talk to us sometimes because
they think we really don't see them. Pesach
has so much to do with seeing. "Lo yeiraeh lecha
chametz". "You shall not see chametz" - don't
see chametz. People who look at chametz all the
time, don't see their own neshama (soul), don't
see their own children, don't see G-d. Seder
night, when there is no chametz in the house,
when the house is clean, then suddenly G-d gives
me the vision of seeing my children again, of
seeing how they really are and how fast they
can reach the highest level.

     The saddest day in the life of children is
when they are disappointed in their parents. When
babies are born, it is clear to them that their
parents are the best people in the world. They
cannot imagine anybody being better than their
father and their mother. Sadly, they grow up and
they realize that their parents aren't the best.
The don't want to talk to us anymore. Seder night
the Ribbono Shal Olam gives my children back the
vision to see, even though at this moment I am not the
best I can be,  what I really am, and how fast it will
take me to get there. And, then my children are so happy,
they love me so much again because it is restoring
their vision, the way they remember me.

    Why do children love their parents so much?
The way children know their parents is in a very
deep way. They don't know biology, they never read
a sex book, but they know this is my father,
this is my mother.  Imagine if, when children are
born, we would have to take them aside and explain
to them the facts of life and why this is their
father and this is their mother. How close would
they be to us? And, sadly, when they find out how
a baby is born, they love us less, because it
takes away all the holiness.

     An exile Jew is one who has read a book on
G-d, on theology, he is a Kabbalist. It's like
an adult, looking at his parents. Pesach is when
we are looking at G-d again, like a baby on the
day it's born. It's not less, it's not stupid.
It is the highest.

     Seder night, G-d gives us back the vision.
"Ani Hashem, Ani velo acher". "I am the Lord, I
and no other." How beautiful everything is. How    
little it takes to reach the highest place.

     Why do our children steal the afikomon and
then give it back to us? There is a lot of talk
about it. First of all, what are we giving over
to our children? Do you think our children
remember everything we say? Do you think my daughter
remembers that last year she wanted to turn on
the television on shabbos and I told her not to? No.
She remembers those moments when I didn't say
anything. She remembers those holy moments, those
secret moments.

     Do you think children don't know how much
we pray for them before they were born? They
know everything.

      Seder night is when I am giving over
Yiddishkeit to my children, I am giving over to them
G-d knowledge. The Torah was given later, on
Shavuot. G-d knowledge is when it is clear to
me, there is nothing to think about - that is
Seder night, So, you know what the children do?
They take the afikomon and hide it. And, they
tell me, I want you to know what I am taking
from you. I am taking from you all the secrets.
All the things which nobody knows, I know about
them. Sometimes secrets, unholy secrets, the
more you tell them, they become unholy, they
become profane. Holy secrets, when you tell them
to somebody you love very much, become even
deeper secrets. My children tell me, you are
giving over to me tonight all the hidden things,
the deepest depths. Then, I say to my children,
please, can you give back a taste of that bread?
Can you give me back a little taste of all
those holy moments, those deep prayers?

     At my Seder, I had the privilege of doing
something special. A lot of people eat the
afikomon with the teeth of a rasha. They sit
there and tell jokes; they talk about the food.
I had the privilege to make, at my Seder, a rule
that from afikomon on, no one is permitted to
talk. They are barely permitted to breathe. it is
so holy, because when my children give me back
the afikomon, it is not only my afikomon, it is
the afikomon of my father, and my mother, and my
bubba, and my zaide. It is the afikomon that goes
back to Avraham Aveinu.

    Everybody knows that when the angels came to
visit Avraham Aveinu, it was Seder night. Who
stole the afikomon at Avraham's Seder? It was the
holy mother Sarah who stole the afikomon. Who
knows more secrets than our mother Sarah, the
secret of secrets? So, the angels said to Avraham,
"Ayeh Sarah ishtecha", "Where is Sarah your wife?"
"Where is she keeping the afikomon?" Avraham
answered, "hinei baohel", "Lo, she is in the
tent." It is all hidden, all hidden away.

5)       Eliyahu HaNavi

     I saw this custom by a lot of Rebbes. When
we open the door for Eliyahu HaNavi, the prophet
Elijah, some people just open the door, say
"Shfoch Chamatcha". (spill thy wrath), and keep
on going. The way I have been doing it the last
few years is so special. Everyone takes a candle
and we all go down to the street, to greet
Eliyahu HaNavi and there we stay for a long time.
Once, when Neshamale was little and some
people brought me a chair, we were sitting by
the door for two hours. Neshamale was sitting in
my arms. It was so holy, so special.

Without getting too personal, I would like to share a story
with you that actually happened to me. Maybe some of you know
about it. A few years ago, the Humanity Foundation
had a big conference in Toronto, to save the planet.
Obviously, it was organized by a lot of Jews. It
was during Easter and they had special
Easter prayers. Nothing for Pesach. The leader
of the group was named Yossi Cohn. Gevalt. As it so
happens, Yossi is a good friend of mine. I said, "Yossi,
you respect every religion except your own. We
have two Seder nights, there will be thousands
of people, many Jews. Can't you do something
for them?" He said, "Okay, you do something."

     I played there the night of bedikat chametz.
There were hundreds of kids. I told them about
bedikat chametz, how holy it is. I Invited them
all to a Seder. Since I didn't know who was
coming, we put up signs all over, saying that
anyone who wants to come to the Seder should buy
a box of matza and should bring hardboiled eggs,
enough wine for four cups, gefilte fish and one
candle. I had to be home. This was in Toronto,
and I had to be home to make a Seder first with
my kids. From there to the Seder at the
University of Toronto was about an hour and
twenty minutes walk. I told them I'll begin the
Seder at 11:30. I got there a few minutes before
twelve and there was not one sound in the whole
building. I walked up the steps and thought,
obviously not even one person came. I want you
to know, to my most unbelievable surprise, 1500
people were sitting at the tables in complete
silence. 1500 peoplel People of every race, every
religion were there. As far as I was concerned,
that was the highest Seder on the planet. The
fire and the holiness, their readiness were unbelievable.

    I explained the Haggadah as much as I could.
Then we ate matzo, the egg, a little fish. We
benched, (said grace). About 3:30, we went out to
greet Eliyahu HaNavi. I want you to know, there
were 1500 candles standing by the door until a
quarter to five. I was telling Eliyahu HaNavi
stories and all kinds of other things. Until
this very day, I travel all over the world, I
meet people who tell me they were at that
unforgetable Seder.

     Eliyahu HaNavi does not knock on doors. A
lot of us are waiting to hear a knock at the
door. Sometimes, one should wait to hear a knock
on the door. But, at great moments, you have to
open the door first.

     One hippie asked me, "Seder night, Eliyahu
HaNavi comes in and then we say, "Shfoch chamatcha
al hagoyim" (spill out your wrath upon the nations
who do not recognize You). Wouldn't it be even more
beautiful if, since Eliyahu is coming, we would
say words of love and peace? This is a Torah of
Shalom Bayis. Eliyahu HaNavi comes in and the
truth is, the world needs a lot of cleaning.
There is a lot of evil that has to be wiped out
from the world. You know what I say to G-d?
Please, can You do the cleaning by Yourself?
Shafoch chamatcha al hagoyim - can You do it?
Right now, I am so high, I don't want anything
to do with cleaning. I just want to tell the
world there is one G-d. I personally don't want
to be cleaning. During the year, we can't get
enough of cleaning. We have to say bad things,
that this person needs to be cleaned out, that
person needs to be cleaned out. Like Rav Kook
said, everybody wants to clean out someone else's
apartment. But, when Eliyahu HaNavi ccnies in,
it's clear to me, Ribbono Shel Olam, I don't
want to be Your cleaning man anymore. The only
thing I want to say now is Hallel. "Not for us,
0 Lord, not for us, but for Your Name do we sing praises."

     I want to tell you one more story. It's a
"today" story. A few years ago, on the day after
Pesach, I had the privilege of playing for
Hadassah of New England. The concert was very
beautiful, but the women were more interested in
going to beauty parlors than they were in
spiritual things. Sometimes, you say something
and you don't even know why you said it. I said
to them, "My dearest, beautiful ladies. I don't
know if you saw Elijah the Prophet. To tell you
the sad truth, I didn't see him either. But, I
swear to you, the children saw him. What a
privilege to be mothers of children who saw
Eiljah the Prophet."

     A very beautiful lady came up to me. The way
she looked, you wouldn't think she had any depth
inside. But, you never know. She came to me and
said, "Do you know what you said? I can testify
to it. My husband is a psychiatrist. Seder night,
we have a little Seder. This year my husband
calls me up on the phone to tell me, 'All this hocus-
pocus is getting on my nerves.' Now we have a little girl, Maxine.
He said, 'Maxine will ask me four stupid questions
and I'll have to answer. It's stupid, the whole
thing makes no sense. Let's just eat dinner and
that's it.' So, I said, 'You're right. I don't care so much either.'

     About three o'clock in the afternoon, my
little girl Maxine comes home. Her eyes are
glowing with joy. She says, 'I can't wait for
my friend Elijah the Prophet to come visit me.
Do you know Elijah the Prophet is coming tonight
to see me.' I realize that I cannot do this to
her. I call my husband in his office and say,
'Listen, we have to have a little Seder because
Maxine is so excited about it." He says, 'Okay,
we'll have a little Sederle, she can ask the four
questions, I'll mumble a few words. But, that's all.'

     My husband came home annoyed, and said,
'Maxine, let's go. Ask the four questions.' She
asked them, he mumbled a few words and then we
ate dinner. Then, my husband said to Maxine,
'Now, go to sleep, so you'll get to school
tomorrow on time.' She said, 'Daddy, Elijah the
Prophet is coming to see me.' This was too much
for my husband. He said, 'We are not old fashioned
Jews who believe in fairy tales. We are modern
Jews. We don't believe in fairy tales. Go to
sleep right now.'

          My little Maxine ran to the window. In her
whole life, she never cried so much. I walked
up to the window and said, 'Maxine, why are you
crying so much?' She said, 'Mommy, can't you see
Elijah the Prophet standing by our door, crying?'"
I just hope that wherever this little Maxine
is now, that she still waits for Eliyahu HaNavi.

     You know, friends, so many of our children
are so holy. They are all "matza children". Sadly
enough, we put chametz into them. Our excuse is,
we want them to rise. We want them to be higher
more civilized. That is not what we need. We need
to be matza Yidden, someone who knows the way it really is.

     This is a story of Rav Tzvi Elimelech. He
told this story about his father. In those days,
people were so poor, but a way of making money
was to become a tutor in a rich man's house.
They taught children from Succoth
to Pesach, they made a few hundred rubles, and
lived on that the whole year. So, his father
became a tutor for a rich man. The first shabbos
that his father was there, there were no guests.
His father said to the rich man, "How can you
have a shabbos without guests?" The man said, "I
don't waste my precious money on guests." Rav
Tzvi Elimelech's father was so innocent. He said,
"Do me a favor. Take it off my salary. I cannot
eat without poor people at the table."

     He stayed there from Succoth until Pesach. A
few days before Pesach, he walked in and said,
Now, give me my 500 rubles." The rich man said,
"What do you mean? You owe ME 500 rubles! Because of
you I had to spend twice your salary on the poor."
Anyway, Tzvi Elimelech's father realized that this rich
man would not let him go without getting his 500 rubles
back, so  he ran to his room, took his things
and left. In the meantime, his wife didn't have
a single penny. The grocer and the butcher were
asking her when she would pay them and she would
tell them that her husband was bringing money on
Pesach. So, he thought, how can I come home without
any money? What am I supposed to do? He
arrived home in the middle of the night. He was
afraid to go home so he went to the Beis Midrash (study house).

     Rav Tzvi Elimelech said, "I was seven years
old. then. I went in the morning to daven and
there was my father in the Beis Midrash! I said
to my father, 'Why didn't you come home? We miss
you so much!' He said, 'I didn't want to wake you
up.' I ran home to tell my mother that my father
came home. She was so happy. I ran back to my
father and told him, 'For four weeks we had
nothing to eat because the butcher the grocer
didn't trust us any more. Now, we went and
told them that thank G-d, you are here. Now my
mother is preparing the best breakfast for you.
We are so happy you came home.'

     Well, my father davened so long. He didn't
know what to do. He took an hour to pack his
tfllin up and I was pulling him the whole
time, saying, 'Let's go home already.' We walked
in the street. He walked so slowly. Finally, we
came to the last corner before the house. Suddenly,
a Cossack came charging along and stopped right
in front of my father. He said, "I am looking for
Reb Feivel.' My father said, "That's me." The
Cossack took a little bag and threw it at my
father and then took off. There was pure gold in
it. Pure gold. So, Rav Tzvi Elimelech said, "That
Seder night, when my father opened the door for
Eliyahu HaNavi, I started yelling and I said,
"Father, look -- The Cossack is here again!"

Every Pesach is so good, so holy. Whatever we
can give over to our children all year long does
not compare to what we can give them one minute
by the Seder.

     I remember that from the age of three on,
every Seder, my father would say to us, to my
sister and my twin brother and me, children,
tonight you are sitting at G-d's table. It is not
my table, it's G-d's table. At G-d's table, you
must behave in a different way.

     What I remember the most about my father is
Seder night. And, my father made his Seder like
my zaide, who made it like his father. Seder
night is seriousness, holiness, awareness.

     Some of us are so worried that our children
should be religious. First, make Yidden out of
them. Shavuot, the giving of the Torah, comes
later. First, comes Pesach. Pesach is "vehigadta
lebinkha," And you shall tell your children.
The way to give Yiddishkeit to children has to
be with so much simcha, so much love. Eliyahu
HaNavi is the master at bringing parents and
children together. So, at the end of the Seder,
any parents who got close to their children,
Eliyahu HaNavi knocks at their door and tells
them - before Mashiach is coming, and I'm
running all over the world to fix the relationship
between parents and children, I won't have to come
here because here it's already fixed.

     I want to bless you that when Eliyahu walks
into your house, he should tell you the good news
that before Mashiach is coming, I'm not coming
to your house, because I see that, baruch HaShem,
you did it.

     "Veheishiv lev avos al banim -- and the hearts of
the fathers shall return to the children." Seder Night
is the time to pray that your children have whatever
they need.

      The deepest holiness of us Jews is not only in the
way we keep Shabbos and eat matza. The deepest
holiness is how we pray for our children. 

