Brooklyn, 5745
Edited from Connections Magazine Vol 1 No 2

Not for commercial redistribution

A Guide to the "Seder of Pesach"
by Reb Shlomo Carlebach

     Good Yom Tov! I bless everyone to
have a wonderful Seder. Seder night can be the
highest, the holiest, the deepest and the most
exalted night.

1) KADESH !

     Seder night, we begin with Kadesh (Kiddush).
Everybody knows that holiness is the highest
level a person can strive for. It takes a whole
lifetime to really become holy. Seder night, we
begin right on top. This is what our holy Rabbis
teach us that even in exile, we can work our way
up. Not to be in exile, to be free, means that
I'm not afraid to jump on top, on the top of
the top.

     Seder night, our children feel so close
to us, they are asking us all the questions.
Why don't our kids talk to us during the year?
Because, sadly enough, we look at them with
exile eyes. First, you go to cheder, then you go
to yeshiva, then you go to college, then you get
one PhD, and another one, and you marry a rich
girl, and she pays for your third PhD - you go
slowly, slowly. This is all exile behavior. The
truth is, every child has it in him to reach
right away, from the first, for the highest,
for the deepest. Anyone who is around children
knows that there are times when children
understand more than adults. Children are on the
highest level. So, Seder night, after we call
out Kadeish, our kids say, "Okay, if this is
the way you look at life, we can talk to you
again."

     I want you to know a very important thing.
You always think that everything takes a lot of
time. But, it doesn't have to take time. First,
you meet a girl, you're not sure if you
really like her. You shlep around with her for
a year, then five years, then you get married
and you like her a little bit more, and then
finally, after 150 years, you love her. Really,
though, if you love somebody very much, you
just love them from the first moment on.

     People who think it takes so long to get
rich, when they see a poor man, they are not
inviting him, they think, until this poor fellow
will get rich, it will take so long, why should
I invite him to eat in my home? on Pesach, it
takes just one second. I say, this poor man,
maybe he will become rich in just one second,
so I say "Kal dichfin yetai veyaichal" - let
every poor person come into my house and eat.

     I say to the poor man, don't despair, maybe
you'll be rich tonight, maybe in just five minutes.

     A human being has to work himself up very
slowly. It is a gift from heaven that sometimes,
in just one second, I can reach the highest level.

     To be in exile means I believe in G-d, but
it depends on me and I have to work hard to get
anywhere. Seder night, everybody knows, Seder
night is a different thing. Since it's a gift
from heaven, why not ask right away for the
highest thing? Begin with the highest, begin
with Kadesh.

     What is the difference between asking a
human being for a favor and asking G-d for a
favor? When I ask a human being for a favor, I
cannot have the chutzpah to ask them for
everything. If I don't have a single penny, I can't
go to Baron Rothschild and ask for two billion dollars.
But, with the Ribbono Shel Olam, it's the other
way around. When I have nothing, that's the time
to ask for everything.

          When we were slaves in Egypt, and G-d took
us out, at that moment, we reached the highest
level. "I, and not an angel, I am the Lord."
That was the highest, the most glorious revelation
in the world.

     We treat our children in such a way that it
takes so long for them to mature until we can
talk to them. OnSeder night, I know that
everything can take just one split second.

     Everybody knows, the way we came out of
Egypt was not slowly, slowly but, it was actually
in one minute from "avdut leherut", from
slavery to the highest level of freedom.

2) MAGGID! (Saying the Haggadah)

     Let me tell you my most favorite Pesach
story. After one Seder with Rav Tzvi Elimelech,
the chassidim got together and said, "Rebbe,
there is nobody who makes a Seder like you."
Rav Tzvi Elimelech said, "Let me tell you
something. Moshele, the water carrier's Seder was the
best Seder, this year, in the world. I'll let
him tell you tomorrow what he did."

     The next day, after davening, the chassidim
went up to Moshele the water carrier and said,
"The Rebbe wants to see you." Moishele came
before the Rebbe, and he began to cry bitterly.
He said, if 'Rebbe, I'll never do it again. I'm
so sorry. I don't know what came over me." He
was crying. The Rebbe said, "Listen, Moishele,
just tell us what you did."

     Now, I always tell my friends that basically
we Jews are not so much into drinking. But, in
every city there is one Jew who drinks for all
in that city. Then, there is some kind of higher
drunkard, who drinks for the Jews of that country.
And then, there are some lamed vov drunkards who
drink for all the Jews of that generation. And
then, there are some drunkards who drink for all
the Jews from Avraham Aveinu until Mashiach.
Anyway, this Moishe, the drunkard, was a lamed
vovnick. His greatest joy in life was drinking.
The saddest thing is, on Pesach you can't drink
whiskey. So, he had a tremendous idea. He'll
stay up the whole night, erev Pesach, and he'll
be drunk for the rest of Pesach, he'll be drunk
right thru. Anyway, he drank, and even a drunkard
who is a religious Jew knows that ten minutes
after nine, on Pesach, you stop. He stopped exactly,
and he was out.

     Seder night, his wife came to wake him up
and said, "Moshele, it's really not fair. Every Jew
has a Seder. Every house has a Seder. We have
little children, and we don't have a Seder. So
what's going on here?" And, he said, "By then,
did I regret that I drank so much at night. Did
I regret it! I would have done anything not to
be drunk. But I couldn't help it. I said, 'Please
wake me up in an hour. I just can't get it
together yet.' Anyway, my wife kept waking me up
every hour, every half hour. Then, suddenly, she
came to me and said, 'Moishele, in five minutes,
five minutes, it's gone. You didn't have anything
and the children are waiting.' "Gevalt".
he said, "was I broken. Here, my children are
so holy and I am such a lousy father, I didn't
even give them a Seder. So, I said to my wife,
'Please, call my children.' She called the children
in and I said to them, 'Please, sit very
close to me on my bed. I have to talk to you.
I want you to know, children, that I am so sorry
that I drank. I am so sorry that I am a drunkard.
But, I want you to know that if my drinking can
make me not have a Seder with you, then it's not
worth it.' So, I said to my children, 'I swear
to you, Seder night, tonight, that I'll never
drink again. But, right now, it's Seder night,
I am so sorry, we didn't eat matza, we didn't
eat maror. But, let me just tell you the Pesach
story, in a nutshell.'"

     Moishele said to the Rebbe, "You know, I
was still drunk. But, I tried my best. I said,
'Children, I want you to know that G-d created
heaven and earth in seven days. And, I want you
to know that Adam was thrown out of Paradise
the first day. Then everything went downhill.
There was a flood, there was a tower of Babylon;
that was as much as I knew. Then came Avraham.
He began fixing the world again. Avraham, Yitzchak,
Yaacov and his twelve holy sons. Then Pharaoh made
slaves out of us, and tonight, G-d took us out
from Egypt. And, I said, children, I want you to
swear to me right now, that you'll always know
that the same G-d who took us out from Egypt is
still alive. It's the same G-d. Whenever a Jew
cries to G-d, G-d always hears our prayers and
takes us out from all our troubles.'"

     "Rebbe, I'm so sorry. I couldn't say anything
more because I was still drunk. I turned
over and I fell asleep again."

     So the heilege (holy) Reb Tzvi Elimelech
was crying bitter tears. He said to his
chassidim, "Did you hear that? Did you hear
that? I wish that one time in my life, I should
be privileged to give over Yiddishkeit to my
children, the way Moishele the water carrier
gave it over to his children Seder night." Gevalt.

     There is a strong Alexandera Torah. It is very
deep and so important for us today. The Holy Alexandera
asks, "Why doesn't the Seder begin right away with
questions? The children could ask questions and
then we would answer." He answers that there are certain
things which are s-o holy - don't ask questions.
Just take them the way they are. There are certain
things in life you have no right to ask about
because if you ask, you degrade them, you
profane them. So, he says, when it comes to
kadesh (kiddush), don't ask. Urechatz (washing
the hands), don't ask. Carpas (vegetables), don't
ask. Magid (saying the Hagadah), then - you can
ask. And, he says, the world is analyzing everything
in the world, and they don't know when to
stop. They are destroying everything holy, by
asking questions about things one shouldn't ask.

     It's so clear to me that we adults analyze
everything our children say. Was it clever, was
it good, was it stupid? Then, the child is likely
to say, I don't want to talk to you. You destroy
everything I say. But, Seder night, our children
see that we know when to stop. We don't tear
everything apart. Out children say, Okay, I
want to ask you a question. Don't analyze it.

     The first fixing, when you come out into
freedom is, leave things whole. Imagine, if I
tell a girl, I love you so much and she
starts analyzing, how do you love me, when do
you love me? Who wants to talk to her again?
She can ask me what my name is, who my father
is, what am I doing? But, certain things, don't
ask, don't question. I always think that the
book, "Why I am a Jew" is a real exile book.
What do you mean, why am I a Jew? Don't ask
questions. Why do you love Israel? Don't ask.
Don't touch it. Psychology, which analyzes
everything and pulls everything apart has not
fixed the world yet. The world is still broken.

     When G-d took us out of Egypt, the first
thing was, leave things as they are. Later,
you can ask. At a certain point, you can ask.
And, even while you are asking, leave a little
bit of privacy. There are certain inner depths
that you don't ask about.

     I'm sure it's clear to you that our children
ask the deepest questions and the truth is that
we don't have the answers. You can read the entire
Haggadah, but the questions are still questions.

     When somebody asks me a question and I
answer, then basically our relationship is over.
But, if someone asks me a question and I say,
you know, I have the same question, let's make
the question even deeper, then we become so
close to each other.

     I have a feeling that when Eliyahu HaNavi
(Elijah the Prophet) comes in "Tishbi Yitareitz
Kushiot Ubaayot (He will answer all questions)",
he doesn't say anything. He walks into the
Seder and he doesn't say anything. He doesn't
answer. Suddenly, the question is so deep, maybe
it doesn't need an answer.

     We lose our children because we tell them
we have the answers to everything. our children
know that it's not true. They don't want to talk
to us. Seder night, I tell my children, so, I'm
a few years older than you. You think that I
know more? Maybe I know the story a little bit
longer, but, I don't know the answer. I don't
know the answer. Then, our children feel so close
to us. So close.

3)          Mah Nishtana

     There is a Torah from the Baal Shem Tov.
 The Mishneh says, "Vecan haben shoel",
"And here the child asks." On this
the Holy Baal Shem Tov says, whatever
we do here is happening in heaven also. Not
only are our children asking us, we can also ask
G-d at this moment, for everything in the world.
"Vecan haben shoel". here we can ask G-d for
everything in the world. Why do we wear white
Seder night? The Holy Sokochover answers with
"Vecan haben shoel". Our children open up for us
the gates to the Holy of Holies. And we know
that by all the Tzaddikim, first their children and
grandchildren would say, Mah Nishtana and then, they
would say it.

     Let me tell you one more story right now.
The heilege (holy) Zeditchover had so many
grandchildren. But, one particular year, he
said, "My grandson Bereshel should ask Mah
Nishtana." Bereshel was then five years old;
later on he became Rav Bereshel of Donina, a
very great Rabbi. Comes time for Mah Nishtana
and Bereshel isn't there. They started looking
for him high and low. He's not there. Here, I
interrupt myself with another story about
Bereshel.

     Bereshel was the favorite of his grandfather,
because in that year one of the other
grandchildren got very sick. Very, very sick.
The mother of the child was begging the
Zeditshuver to please pray for him. Nothing
happened. One night, the boy's condition worsened.
It seemed he was going to leave the world. The
Zeditshuver, from 12:30 A.M. until three in the
morning, did not want to be disturbed. He was
writing his commentaries on the Zohar and did
not want to be disturbed. But, someone had to
tell him. They decided to wake up Bereshel and
he will tell the zaide. Bereshel was five years
old. They tell him, tell zaide that if he doesn't
pray now, it will be too late.

     Bereshel walks up to the higher floor, to
his grandfather. He knocks on the door. His
grandfather asks, "Who's there?" "Bereshel."
"Why aren't you asleep?" Bereshel said, "Zaide,
I came to bring you the most unbelievable good
news. I want you to know that Moishele is getting
better every second. But, zaide, please pray for
him. Please, zaide, pray for him."

     The holy Zeditshuver prayed for him. He
got well. The Zeditshuver called in all his
children and grandchildren. He said, "Do you
know why I couldn't pray for Moishele the whole
time? Because the way you asked me to pray for
him was with so much sadness, so much brokenness.
I felt so broken. I douldn't pray. But, you know
who is a Rebbe? Bereshel. Did you hear how
he asked me to pray? He said, 'I bring you
good news, Moishele is getting better, but I
want you to pray.' Didn't I understand what was
going on? When Bereshel is sent up in the middle
of the night to tell me. But, the way he said it,
with so much hope. I want you to know, Bereshel
is a Rebbe." And, the truth is, Bereshel really
became the successor of his grandfather later on.

     Back to Seder night. Everyone is looking for
Bereshel and, suddenly, he comes in. Water is
running down from his payos (sidecurls). He
just came from the mikva. Before asking his
grandfather Mah Nishtana, he wanted to go to the
mikva. His mother yelled at him, "What chutzpahl"
But his grandfather said, "Let him alone. Bereshel
is a Rebbe."

     This is a Torah from Rav Nachman. Sometimes
our children ask us, and we can take our time in
answering. Sometimes if we take our time, we
will lose them. Rav Nachman says, if our children
ask us, is there one G-d and we say, let's talk
it over - we've lost them. If they ask for advice,
what should they do, what career they
should have, we can say, let's talk about it.
If they ask, are you a Jew, if you have to think
about it, that's not good. He said, Seder night
is when our children ask, is there one G-d?
And, our answer has to be right away. Don't take
any time.

     I remember once reading a book written by one
of the outstanding Jewish leaders of the other
religions. This outstanding leader writes in the
forward to his book that when he was a little
boy he once asked a rabbi if there is one G-d.
The rabbi said, let's discuss it. Come to my
house and we'll discuss it. He quoted from here,
he quoted from there. The boy said, I'm just
asking one question, is there one G-d or not?
He couldn't get an answer out of him. The next
week, he met a swami and asked him, is there
one G-d? The swami said, yes, there is.

     Seder night is when I tell my children,
there is one G-d. There is one Torah.
There is Eretz Yisroel. I have no time. It has
to be fast.

     When somebody is drowning, imagine if I
would say, let me call a Rabbi and ask if I
should save this person, because I heard that
last year this person ate ham on Yom Kippur.
I call one rabbi, the line is busy, so I call
somebody else. All these things are cute. In
the meantime, the person is drowning.

     You know the problem with us Yidden, you
know why Mashiach didn't come yet? Because we
waited, wegaited so long. How did Moshe Rabbenu
get us out of Egypt? Right now is the time -
"Bachatzot halayla" in the middle of the night -
right now, don't think. This is "mochin megadlus"
a high mind. It is not, not, thinking. It is
clearer than thinking. It is clear to me. It is
on such a high consciousness level, a deep level.

     When I see somebody drowning, where do they
grasp me? Do they reach for my head? They reach
for somewhere else; they have to touch the deepest
depths of my understanding, that triggers
something so holy.

     So, Seder night, everything is fast, but
it's so clear, and it's so good. "This I do
not say other than when matza and maror are
placed in front of me." Everything is clear.
I can tell my child this ismatza, this is
maror, I am a Jew, there is one G-d.

     You know friends, we are living in a world
where the devil would like so much to take
advantage of the great moments which we have.
Seder night, every Jew wants to have a Seder.
So, what does the devil do - brings chicken
soup, and kneidlach. Sometimes I ask people,
how was the Seder? They say, Oh, the food was
unbelievable. When you ask about the Seder,
they are not thinking about the Hgggadah, they
are thinking about the food.

     I was in India three years ago. I asked one
boy, he was a yogi who didn't want to come back.
I asked him what he knew about Yiddishkeit. He
said, "Once a year my family got together for
a Seder. The spokesman of the Seder was my uncle
who told over all the dirty jokes he heard all
year. One night, I got up and said, I don't
think this is what the Seder is all about. My
uncle said to me, 'Look who's talking. You
haven't even finished Hebrew school yet. What
do you know?' So, I thought that if all
Yiddishkeit can offer me is a night with dirty
jokes and chicken soup, who needs it, who wants
it?"

     When my daughters' teeth hurt, I send for
the best dentist. When my children are sick, I
call for the best doctor. When it comes to
Yiddishkeit, the soul of the soul, the eternity
of all eternities of my children, would I subject
them to the lowest people in the world, who
don't know anything?

     This is a Torah from Rav Nachman. He says
that, basically, the downfall and the ultimate
slavery in Egypt were brought about because we
ate from the Tree of Knowledge. Eating from the
Tree of Knowledge causes you to eat your bread
with sadness. The beginning of the Seder is that
we eat karpas, we eat a little vegetable and, a
few moments later, we are on the level of eating
bread with simcha, with joy. Matza is on the level
of eating bread with joy. From the beginning of
the Seder, to the matza, we are fixing everything
from the Tree of Knowledge. And, it goes
so fast, so fast.

     Chametz is that everything takes a long
time. This is the downfall of mankind. The world
says, we have to wait for peace. It tales time
until it comes. Always waiting, waiting. Matza
is the first admission in the service of G-d;
today is a great moment - don't wait.


4)        The Four Sons -- Wine vs. Matza

     Basically, we have teeth in order to chew,
to cut down to our size. The truth is, you are
not permitted to use your teeth when it comes
to Yiddishkeit. Don't use your teeth. You can
maybe chew only in such a way that it should
get into your insides, but, don't make some-
thing else out of it.

     What is the difference between the chacham
(wise son) and the rasha (evil son)? They are
both asking, why do you eat matza on Pesach?
Sure, I need to use my teeth in order to get
it inside me. But, the rasha begins to chew,
to analyze what is this halacha - explain to
me everything. What is the matza all about,
the wine? So, I say, please, rasha, don't chew
around in my Torah.

     I have seen many married couples going to
marriage counselors and they chew around in
their marriage. There is nothing left after that.
So, Seder night is not only the fixing of our
stomach - it s the fixing of our teeth. How to
chew, when to chew, what to chew.

     Why do we drink wine first? Because wine
we don't chew - we drink it just the way it is.
It goes into us just the way it is. Matza requires
chewing, but, certain things, you must
take them the way they are.

     What is an exile Jew? An exile Jew is anybody
who chews on Yiddishkeit, who says, this
is relevant, this isn't relevant, this is good,
this is not so good. What are the four cups of
wine? Take it the way it is.

     When you love somebody very much, when you
kiss somebody, you put your teeth in your lips
on that person. You know what you are telling
that person? I am never going to chew. Our
relationship is non-chewable. It's the way it is.

     When Yaacov aveinu brought wine to Yitzchak,
he kissed him. Yitzchak didn't ask for wine.
Yaacov, when he came to be blessed, brought it
himself. Wine represents taking the whole thing
the way it is.

     When the Haggadah says, "veata haclieh et
shinov -- and you break his (the evil son's)
teeth". it doesn't mean cut out his teeth.  It
means cut out the teeth that destroy, teach him
how to chew, and what to chew.

