New York, NY
Nisan 5748.

Transcribed by Louise Temple Barrett
for Connections Magazine
Copyright (C) 1988 Inner Foundation
Reprinted with permission
Not for commercial redistribution without consent of
copyright holder and the Estate of Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach

Reb Shlomo speaking:

THE TORAH OF "THE FIRST TIME"

     What is the most important moment between people?
The first moment. Pesach is the beginning for us. Just as
Rosh Hashana is the beginning of the world, Pesach is the
beginning between us and G-d. So Pesach is: I'm meeting
G-d for the first time. Every year I wash myself clean of all
the paganism, because a little bit we all are pagans. A pagan
doesn't mean that I bow down before a piece of wood. In
Hebrew, pagan-worship, which is really a bad English
translation, means worship which is strange to me, which doesn't
fit me, but if I can be a million times higher and I'm less
than that, then I'm a Pagan because this highness is what
G-d wanted. I don't know about you but sadly enough I'm a
pagan, because I could be zillions of miles higher. So, when
do we get rid of paganism? Seder night. Everybody knows
that the essence of Seder night is that G-d will reveal Himself to me.

     The beginning of Yiddishkeit is Pesach. Seder night I am
really close to G-d. Here I'm going to tell you an unbelievable
story about the Yid Hakodesh, one of the biggest
Rebbes in the world who lived one hundred fifty years
ago. He was 6' 4" tall and strong like a lion. At one time twenty-five
Cossacks jumped him. He overcame them and they
were taken to a hospital. The Yid haKodesh passed away very young.
Yet he didn't die, G-d forbid, because he was sick or because he had
no strength, but because- it's a long story- he wanted to
bring Meshiach ... He had no teeth in his mouth- just one
tooth- so people asked him, what happened to you? So he
said, "I was praying that I would like to feel how Abraham
felt when he was praying to G-d for the first time." You
know, Abraham worked by himself. The world was completely
pagan. The Gemara says that basically he began at
the age of three and when he was forty-eight it became clear to
him that there is one G-d. So the Yid Hakodesh says, "I was
praying to G-d, for one time in my life I'd like to pray to
You as if it were for the first time. I was praying, G-d bless
me...   I began shivering so much, my teeth fell out... 

     Seder night I am praying to G-d for the first time. Do you
know what a slave is? A slave is incapable of experiencing something
the first time it happens. You know there am people who meet you for the first
time, and they look at you and they think they know all
about you. Here I want you to know the saddest thing between
parents and children is that parents always know how to look at
their children for the second time. Can you imagine what a
privilege Seder night is - something happens and I am looking
at my children for the first time. Nobody is a bigger expert on
the first time than children. They know the secret of
the first time. We think we know- but we don't. Seder night, we
need our children ... Why don't we invite people to our
house all year long? Because on Pesach, when I see G-d for
the first time, I see people for the first time. Until Pesach came
I didn't invite poor people to my house because I was accustomed to seeing
them on the street. If I would only see them for the first time, I
couldn't be able to stop myself from inviting them to my house. So,
Seder night, everything is for the first time.

     You know why we forget what we really wanted with G-d
before we began - because we've always looked at G-d for
the second time. Why was the Torah given on Shavuos?
Why didn't G-d take us first to Mount Sinai - or G-d could have
given us a Torah in Egypt and then take us out.
But first He took us out, then He gave us the
Torah. I want you to know that the Torah is a very delicate
thing. The Gemara says the Torah could be a drug of life
and also could be a drug of death, hasweshalom, G-d forbid.
You know, laws are very delicate. You need laws, and on the other
hand, you can become such a law person that you don't
know any more, right? I heard a story that the holy Baal
Shem asked in heaven, "Who will sit next to me in heaven?"
He wanted to know who will be sitting next to him in
heaven if he makes it, and who is sitting next to him in hell
if he doesn't make it. Okay, he goes to a city and there's a
yiddele who doesn't know anything, he just knows he's a
Jew. Friday night he invites the whole city and a rock
band. Gevalt. The Baal Shem Tov saw he must be crazy. This is
Shabbos, what's he doing? Then he says to the man "What
are you doing?" he replies, "I'll tell you something, I was a
little boy when my father died, and all he told me is I'm a
Jew. I asked him, what a, I supposed to do if I'm a Jew?
He said on Shabbos you have to be so happy and make the
whole world happy. So that's what I'm doing, right? I'm
inviting the whole city, getting a little rock bandela and
mamash we're dancing all night." So the Baal Shem Tov
gathers his Hasidim in a circle around the yiddele
and they see the yiddele sitting next to the Baal Shem Tov
on a golden throne. This is supposed to be the
neighbor in heaven of the Baal Shem Tov. Then, they show
him - he has to go to the other city and this will be his
neighbor in hell ... Okay, a Rabbi, and all day on Shabbos he
sits on a chair and doesn't move because he's afraid
maybe them might be an ant on the floor, and maybe he'll
step on it, and you're not permitted to kill on Shabbos. So he
is sitting there all the time and there is no joy in the house,
and when his children do walk around  - little children can't sit on a
chair all the time-he makes them miserable and says, you,
don't keep Shabbos. For the whole city, Shabbos is the saddest
thing in the world, because the Rabbi is teaching that
the laws are so intricate, whatever you do, you do wrong.
Then, when he eats, he doesn't know if it's Kosher-and it's
misery, misery - but, he's keeping all the laws, right? So
the Baal Shem Tov gathers the Hasidim in a circle around this
Rabbi and they see him sitting on a black throne of
fire and ashes. This will be his neighbor in hell.

     You sea, it's so delicate. The Torah can be a drug of
life, and G-d forbid, it can be a drug of death. You
know, for the first Misnagdim [opponents], Pesach was
miserable, because first they didn't know if the matza was
good or not and they only had exactly eight matzas and they
would sit up all night guarding them that not one drop of
water should fall upon them. How are we celebrating Pesach
when Pesach is so heavy? Gevalt, are we cleaning our house.
We do everything - it's so heavy, right? But what's the first
sign that you are really doing it for the sake of G-d? It's
filled with joy - and the joy is not of this world ...

