;.cR. Shlomo/ May 5, 1976 B'nei Jeshrun NYC / input sa
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=sh76050a 
R. Shlomo May 5, 1976, 1 of 2  
2 of 2  =sh76050b
Teaching on  Leviticus  19:2--19:4 (Parshat Kdoshim)
Given at B'nai Jeshrun, NYC;  Weekly series of lectures chaired byR. Meir Fund, of Brooklyn.

At one point B'nai Jeshrun had a major disaster -- roof fell in,if I recall -- I don't know how much, if any,  uncopied R. Shlomomaterial was lost
I don't know who has the originals of those tapes, nor theentirety of what's been transcribed

This May 5, 1976 teaching was apparently transcribed in hardcopy,but not input, as A1, which I inventoried as such from thecollection of Haskala Sasson, and xeroxed to the collection of R.Joshua Witt.  When I get a copy of same, I can proceed with thisinput.  If that ain't forthcoming, I may input from tape. 

This tape Copied from Haskala Sasson, I'll send my relativeoriginal to Yakar.
Niggunim will be copied to a separate tape & sent to Ben-ZionSolomon.

Sources include:  Beis Yakov, Ishbitzer, Leviticus 19:2--19:4 fromParshat K'doshim , 

Topics include:  Holiness, joy, doing a favor, Lord's prayer,shabbos, shabbos before creation, on losing objects, yirah, Jewishavoda zora, why does night bother to change to day, Maritalobligation on shabbos (aka sex ), Elijah the Prophet, death,taste, joy, shabbos, babies, shabbos befroe craetion, children,shabbos for children, be here now, critique of Cartesian dualism,"for you the world was created", making a song for a eprson,holiness, the secret of life in a nutshell, crossing the Red Sea(parshat B'shellach ) , prayer as continual thanksgiving, shabbotof consolation (after 9 of Av ) , parshat (    ) [Rivka at thewell] , the happiness of the compleat apikores &I the angst of theba'al tchuva, love is having someone to talk to, Yom ha'Atzmaut(Israel Independence Day) , peace

Rebbes cited:  Reb Mendele VITEBSKE in Tiberias(?), SAMZER, ALIKER(on honoring parents); story of Reb Mendele LISKER and the TOSHERRebbe
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TYPIST'S 2 WORTH:
.a4
I'm tempted to term the B'nai Jeshrun teachings 'mid-level'(although some of R. Shlomo's remarks indicate that he wasaddressing an audience some of whom could not be assumed to haveany formal Jewish education):  they don't have the density andfrequent Hebrew of the "Mishkanot" (Witt home) teachings, where R.Shlomo could presuppose a group well-educated in Jewish studiesand fluent in religious Hebrew.  Nor do they have the warmth, norquite the density, of the Moshav teachings.{FN3q-sa}  I would say,though, that they've got more warmth and colour than what I'venoticed so far of the Yakar teachings.  Guess that proves that itwas impossible to charge money for R. Shlomo teachings.  So maybeit should still be.
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START SIDE A {000}
APPARENTLY STARTS IN MEDIAS RES, 
MUCH BACKGROUND NOISE         

_______ Where is this deepest depths coming from?  You know if Ido something without thinking -- give me the b'racha, I'm givingit to them.  ______ Holy means it is coming from the deepest,absolutely deepest depths of my soul.  Because otherwise Iwouldn't be there.  You know I cannot tell youm someone asks me, give me some water, I give it to them.  And I say, all the watersof the world were contained in this glass of water?  And I didn'teven think of it?  Utmost, not  only concentration, it has to comefrom the utmost deepest truth of my heart. 

	You see there's one thing.  Holiness is beyond not lying. **It's not that I'm not lying.  [If] it's a lie, not only did Ilie, I can't give over.** {FN05a1-sa} 
When I lie, it just wasn't there.  _____
But on the level of holiness if it was not on the level of thedeepest depths of the truth of my heart, it wasn't even there.
 
	And he said the deepest depths:  
	At the wedding there's supposed to be so much joy.  And whyis it really, sometimes, you walk to a wedding, you come in to awedding, and there's no joy.  You can hang yourself, you want toforce yourself to be happy but there's nothing there.  But forgetabout _____  Why is the wedding supposed to be so full of joy.

(Can you all move a bit closer, you'll save my life, thank you.)

Because a bwedding is forever, right; hopefully you don't getmarried every week.  Or every month.  You know, eEverything whichis on the level forever, you're touching the infinite.  The momentyou touch something infinite -- 

	You see, Infinite, the joy, come from the same place.Infinite and joy come from the same place.  
______ if somebody dies, why are we so sad.  *Because suddenly werealize how finite life is.

	Why is it that a baby causes so much joy?  Because it looksto me like this baby ('s from infinite??).  The wedding, there'sso much joy.

	But can you imagine:  If you do something on the level offorever, how much joy there is.  
	You know, If you do somebody the smallest favor -- as I toldyou before, I can give you a glass of water, but i this glass ofwater there's so much depth, so much truth, so much infinite thatlike [or 'life'??] I'm giving you all the water in the world. Like, whenever you want to drink water, until Meshiach is coming,I want to give it to you.  {FN05a2-sa}
	Everything is in there.  So this is called holiness.
	Now listen to the deepest depths:  just bear this in mind.
	G-d says, {HEBREW, KDoShIM THIYu, Lev. 19:2, Thou shalt beholy) I want you to be holy, because I'm holy (REFERENCE ibid.).
	You know, if we would only have vessels. You know when G-dgives me one day, every day when the sun is shining, G-d gives meall the day there is.  Anything G-d is giving me is on the levelof holiness.   If we would only have vessels.  So G-d is beggingus, please be holy, because I'm holy.  I'm giving you everythingon the level of holiness.  You know when G-d gives me -- when G-dgives me one piece of bread G-d gives me all the bread there is inthe world, every food there is, everything there is.  {FN50b2-sa}
	Then it says {HEBREW: AiSh AMo v'ABiO, Lev. 19:3, Ye shallfear every man his mother and his father } respect, stand in awebefore your mother and and your father.  
	Now friends you've got to open your hearts because this istouching the deepest depths ____ :
	The BEIS JAKOV said, which was blowing my mind the wholeweek:
	What is father and mother doing to a child?  {100} What'stheir main function. Their main function is, because if I wouldn'thave a father and a mother, and I would just be created by  G-d,it would blow my mind. _____ 
	What was the trouble of Adam?  Because he did not know how totake it yet, right?  The sanctity of G-d.  _____ I was created byG-d, right.  

	So you know what a father and mother are doing to theirchildren?  On one hand they cover up G-d, right.  Becauseeverybody knows that there are 3 partners in my creation, fatherand mother and G-d.  So parents, you know what they do, they coverup the third partner.  But woe unto them if they cover up.  Theyhave to cover up in such a way that the baby-le should know therewas a third one. {FN3a-sa}  If, G-d forbid, the baby grows up andthinks, the only ones that created  me are my father and mymother, this is the utmost destruction of the world.  This isdestruction of this child.   
	You see:  The third partner is utmost light.  But this lightis so much I can't take it.  So what my parents are doing to me,they're covering up this light a little bit.  They're covering upthis light a little bit, that I should be able to take it.
This is the most awesome thing in the world.

	So it said, {HEBREW,  AISh AiMO vABIO TYRAN (Honor thy fatherand they mother, Lev. 19:3} My relationship to my parent is on thelevel of holy.  You know, it doesn't just mean that I have tostand from my parents, and it it doens't also mean that my parents stand in awe before me.  It's everything together, it's one thing. My relationship to my father and my mother is on the level of awe,on the level of awesome.  Because this is the deepest depths of mycreation, right, I have to know exactly -- You see, on one hand, Ihave to serve G-d, I have to know there is one G-d, on one hand Ihave to know there is a world, there really is a world.  There isa world. 

	If someone comes to tell you, there's only one G-d, and theworld is an illusion, you know what, this person doesn't believein G-d, because G-d created the world.  And if he says the worldis an illusion, doesn't believe in G-d.  Because G-d says, Icreated the world.    _________ {HERE R. SHLOMO WAS SPEAKING QUITERAPIDLY; HARD TO CATCH.} You want to be more G-d than G-d?
_____

	You know, I want to share this with you, and I want you tothink of it in the deepest depths:
	My relationshop to my parents is not the question, like,someone would think: How does the baby relate to you as a fatherand mother.   That's very sweet and beautiful but it isn't whereit's at.  This touches the deepest depths of my creation.   Thistouches the deepest deepest depths of my being.  

	And I want you to know something, again, without gettinginvolved in _____:  
	We're living in a generation where there's never been moreanger on the side of the children against their parents, in thisgeneration.  Because the parents took up?? the chutzpah to coverup.  Most parents cover up.  They say we created you, we createdthe doctor, we created -- an Accountant.  You created anAccountant?  What's about the third partner?  Ah, y'know, don'ttake it that  serious, y'know, give them a few crumbs [ofreligious knowlege] and he's ok.  That's what war's(??) all about. And then the parent say, how come my child doesn't respect me. Ah, because you took the whole Awe out of the whole thing, right? 
l2
[One of the first teachings I recall hearing from R. Shlomo - I assume this was in the early 70s, maybe at Ruach Camp
{FN05a3-sa}.was:  he was speaking of the baby, and the babycomes down to earth, and so the baby asks his parents, whydid you bring me down to earth, and the parents say, oh, justto hang out, watch TV, have a few beers -- and the baby says,for this you took me out of heaven?] 
l1

	You know what awesome is?  I'll tell you.  Awesome is --
But imagine there might be an atomic powerhouse -- I'm not doinganything, just playing with a few buttons.  You know what you'redoing? You know what you're doing?
l2
[NB I heard R. Shlomo use this same image in 1993, at Yakar -sa] 
l1

	Now listen, we're going higher and higher and higher, let metell you something, this is the deeepest depths:
	Some people think that the highest thing is infinite.  It'snot true.  There's something deeper than that.  
	And again just let me must give you an example:
	**Imagine I love somebody very much and I marry this girl andwe live happily afterwards.  Not only we live happily afterwards,we met again in heaven, {FN05a5-sa}
and we're studying together in paradise.  Very high. **
{200}
But imagine at one time I met one girl and I said hello to her,just one second, and it was the highest thing there was in mylife.  It was not finite and it was not infinite.  ______ [Youmight say in objection:] "What's beyond finite, forget it."  

	In order to make myself clear, I have to tell you one tora-leof the ALIKER, and I want it to sink into you:
	The holy ALIKER says like this:  It [Leviticus 19:2-3] saysbe holy, and then it says, respect your mother and your father. The holy Aliker says, someone would say, how can I respect mymother and my father, they're the creepiest folks  I've ever seen,right.  They're the biggest creeps I've ever seen. {FN05a6} 
And it might be true.   Then again you know sometimes childrensay, let's be honest, my parents, I have nothing to do with them,I can't relate to them, and forget it.  
	The holy Aliker says, do you know there are 3 partners,father, mother, and G-d.  And he says:  For one time in theirlife, at  one moment, they did something, and they were partnerswith G-d.  So they have to be.  Maybe they're not holy forever.  But there was one moment in their lives when they were holy.
	It's a mind-blowing tora.

	And again listen to this.   First G-d says, be holy, and thenG-d says, if you really know what holy is, can you imagine what itis to have a child, to be a partner with someone.

	First of we talk of about holiness on the level of Ishbitzer. It's very holy.  Now we are getting out of the whole thing offinite and infinite.  It's deeper than all this.  If you say, G-dis Infinite, it's a desecration of G-d's NAME, `G-d is Infinite'?
	Like I would say, y'know, _____ cute thousand dollars ____. `G-d is Infinite', that's all you have to say about G-d  -- HE'sInfinite?.  So what did you think HE was, right.  

	OK.  First we say, you have to be on the level of Infinite,or holiness.  Now we get deeper into all this. 
	Listen to this dearest friends:
	There is something very deep about me doing something alone. It's very high.  Imagine if I would need 2 more people to do it. On one hand you would say, it can't be that great because youcan't do it alone.  On the other  hand, it takes a lot just to get3 people together.  A strong thing.
	G-d created the whole world alone.  Very high, very holy.  G-d spoke to us on Mt. Sinai.  _____.
G-d took us out of Egypt alone.  There was one thing where G-dtakes two partners.  It's unbelieveable.                              
	But first G-d says, do you know how holy the world is, do youknow how holy you are.  Then it goes one step higher, do you knowwhat it is, do you know how holy children are.  
	It's even deeper than that, it's awesome. 
	And you see, the parents look at their children with thisholy awesomeness. It's awesome.  Exactly how much to cover, howmuch not to cover.  Then I relate back to them on this --awesomeness.

	Now we come to the third level, the level of shabbos. Shabbos you can teach them(?).

	I want to share this with you: 
	The Beis Yakov says, {HEBREW: } you should keep bothshabboses.  Two shabboses.  What are the 2 shabboses.  So the holyBeis Yakov said, there was one shabbos before creation, and ashabbos after creation.  The shabbos before creation was when G-ddecided -- _____
	Let's put it this way, remember 6 days G-d worked, right, andthen a shabbos.  On what level {300} was G-d before creation?  Thelevel of Shabbos, right, HE didn't do anything.  So when did  G-ddecide to create the world?  At the end of shabbos, right.  At theend of the shabbos before creation, G-d decided to create theworld, six days of work,  the creation, right, and then shabbos.  
	So the holy Beis Yakov says:  When G-d created the world, G-ddid not create the world because somebody was asking for it.  Itwas not on the level of prayer. G-d created {HEBREW: olamhesed(?).}.  That means [there??] is something in the world whichG-d gives you without asking.
	This is on the level of the shabbos before creation.  Theshabbos after creation, this is the level of prayer.  The shabbosbefore creation is on the level, that G-d gives you withoutasking.  And the Sahbbos after creation it's the level of prayer. That means you can't work for it, right.  When do I pray? -- Ican't do it, right.  It's the end of the 6 and I don't havestrength any more,  I can't do it. {FN05a7-sa} 
I can't do it.  I don't know how to do it.  I tried.  Tried for 6days.  When it comes -- I'm at the end, I'm beginning to die(?) --that's shabbos.  That's the ____
l2
[N.B.:  This seems to be a gloss  on '6 days a week you shalldo all your work', to which the standard lst-level commentaryis (I recall reading it, but forget where): 'how can anyoneget all their work done in 6 days' - sa]
l1

	And I want to share this deepest depths with you.   Who isteaching me the secret of knowing, what leve is this is what Ihave to do -- if it's on the level of the shabbos before creationor if it is on the level of after creation.   This is the functionof father and mother.   Friends, if you don't bkow your minds onthis, then nothing will ever happen.  It's the deepest depthsthere is.

	I want you know know something:  
	How did the 3 partners meet -- How did G-d -- ____(dealwith??)(or: (one of those you-can't-even-[anthropomorphically]say-it's) `be with'??) {Fn05a8-sa}
the man and ____ with the woman, and G-d, and they met, and theydid something together.  Unbelieveable.  
Why did they meet, and when (or: 'where'??) -- {FN05a9-sa}
did they meet?
	I want you to know, listen to this:  the utmost meeting(s??)of the shabbos before creation and the shabbos after creation wasat this moment.  Because where `weren't they praying  for childrenso much -- so much. 
	Can you imagine how much Abraham and Sarah were praying forthe first Jewish baby Yitzhak?

	Just let's take another example:
	Abraham and Sarah and G-d are creating Yitzhak.  You knowwhat went into this baby?  100 years of Abraham, of serving G-devery trillionth-l of the trillonth of a second.  And holy Sarah, can you imagine for 90 years, our holy mother Sarah.   How much ofa ___ (prayer??).  And how much G-d was praying that there shouldbe an Abraham and a Sarah.  

	OK, this is the deepest depths: The very creating of the babywas on the level of the shabbos before creation. The baby didn'task.

	And now I want to share something deepest depths with you:
	How do you know if you love somebody very much, if someoneloves you very much.  Listen to this:
	Someone comes  and brings me a gift.  Thank you very much. Imagine someone brings me a gift, I've never seen this personbefore, but you know something, in the last few weeks I've heardthere was a very holy book which was reprinted in Israel, I'm justpraying, please G-d I gotta have this book, and  in walks thisperson, I've mever seen before, and they bring me this book.  Andthey just gave it to me, not because I asked for it.  
	You know what that means -- oh, forget about books.  
When someone loves you very much, they give you a gift, whenthey're giving it to you, it feels, like you always wanted thisone thing.  You know, you wanted just this one thing, just somuch.  {400} They didn't ask them.

	You see:  There was shabbos and yet -- it's all called`shabbos', right.  If it doesn't connect, wouldn't have the samename.
	You know what the holiness of parents is -- that it doesconnect.

	Let me tell you something even deeper:  
	The utmost connection of the 2 shabboses is, imagine I want to ask you a favor but I don't have the chutzpzh to ask.  Andyou're still doing it.  You know how deep this is?  
l2
{Apparently a disruption outside, R. Shlomo:  If you would,someone just go out and tell him to leave, it's such achutzpah, you know. _____}
l1

	There is such a things as doing something very beautiful, andthere is something even deeper: to taste what you did.  
	Imagine somebody asks me _____.  OK, imagine I'm sitting inYerushaliim, my hotel, and someone comes to me and says, listen, Iwant you to know {FN05a10-sa}
tomorrow night my daughter is getting married, and I'm $300 short,and I gotta have the money tomorrow morning, otherwise the weddingcab;t take place.  OK, I have rachmones on the yiddele, I take outa checkbook, give him $300 and that's it, never heard from himagain. {FN05a11-sa}
Or I tell you something else.  He says, y'know, I need $300beecause my daughter's getting married, and can you please come tothe wedding. I give him $300 and I come to the wedding.  And I seethe sweetest cutest holiest couple in the world.  And you knowwhat it is, I'm tasting what I'm doing.  Or imagine 5 years laterI walk on the streets of Jerusalem and I see this utmost sweetestcutest young mother and a little baby-le.  And suddenly Iremember, I have a little part in this baby , I gave you $300 forthe wedding, right.  I don't tell it to her!, _____ but I'mtasting what I did.  
	The holy Beis Yakov says:  You know what shabbos is, G-dgives us a taste of what we're doing.
	You know what the saddest thing in the world is:  We do a lotof good, don't kid yourself, we do much more good than we'll everknow.  You see, our problem is not that we're doing so much wrong,our problem is, we don't taste what we're doing good.  
	The holiness of shabbos is -- now listen to this top tora-le:
{HEBREW:  v'yomer tikes?? hov?? roshet shevet??  shabbos}.  Onthat day G-d will pay you.  The initials, v'yomer tikes sfora?? --Bet Shin -- that's `ShaBoS'.  Bet -Shin.  On shabbos G-d pays you.
	What does it means G-d pays you?  
	The greatest payment G-d can give you is:  that you'retasting what you did.  Shabbos everything is taste, {HEBREW}.
Shabbos is on on the level of taste.  What am I tasting onshabbos?  On shabbos I'm not doing anything.  And maybe somepeople think, shabbos is the highest thing, I taste lochsen.  But-- OK, you taste lochsen too.  But what do you taste when youtaste lochshen on shabbos?  When I taste lochesen on shabbos is{500} {HEBREW (repeated) v'yomer   }.  G-d gives me a taste, whatI'm doing.
	
	When can I taste what I'm doing in this world?  You know when I taste it?  If those 3 partners who created me would really 
______ working out -- absolutely harmonious, right.  Exact does. I need so much father, I need so much mother, I need so much ThirdParty [to create the optimal genetic-celestial mix for what, on adharmic level,  I need to do in my incarnation].  Exactly.  Theyknow exactly what I have to do.  And then when it becomes shabbos,I taste it.

	I want to tell you something else:
	A lot of parents only think you have to teach your children,  what to do, what not to do.  But you know something, you're apartner with G-d.  And you know what G-d did to the world when HEcreated the world, he gave them shabbos.  You know what shabbosmeans?  That G-d gave the world a taste of what they're doing. It's not that you teach your children.  You gotta be shabbosdik, afather and a mother [and then under the influence of shabbos theywill see for themselves what they need to learn].  Give them ataste.  

	You know:  When did the world taste -- when did the world --
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LOTS OF WHITE NOISE IN BACKGROUND, ALMOST EQUAL TO VOICE, MAYBEBECAUSE THIS IS A LEAST A 3RD GENERATION TAPE

_____ and he also says something very beautiful: 
	Imagine I lost something.  Anywhere.  When did I find itback.  And imagine all of Israel, the whole 4 corners, and I cameto the holy Temple, there as a special place, and you know thepeople would say, you know I found it somewhere something, lets'ssay I found a watch, then every yiddele who lost a watch wouldcome -- you know, I lost a watch, so it happened, where did youlose it, they would say, I lost in in Tel Aviv on Diezenboff,which corner, the western office(??), that's it, you know, yourwatch.  
	But you know, on the deepest level:  Everything you lost youfind back.  You see whatever I lost is somewhere, nothing getslost in the world, it has to be somewhere.  And you always _____ I help you to?? find it back.  
	Not only objects, you know, let's say, I once had a goodthought, then I lost it, you know.  There was one time when Ireally had such -- I decided I'm going to be a real holy yiddele,or what happened?  All those holy thoughts, all those holy -- youknow --
	And I'm saying thias because we have to find back a lot ofthings we lost, so maybe tonight we'll -- so I'm calling out rightnow, I lost a lot of things I have to find back.  

{APPARENTLY A COMMENT FROM R. MEIR FUND}

R. Shlomo:  That's a very strong question, you know.  Meir'll [R.Meir Fund, presumably] is right, because when somebody findssomething you have to _____ -- you have to identify it, you haveto give a sign.  ______ Anyway, good question.

I want to share something with you very deep, friends:
	_____ 
	Let's forget between one person and the other.  You imagineI'm sitting alone in my room.  I'm not lonesome, I'm alone, I'mnot lonesome.
	[If] I'm sitting with a person I love so much, and we can'ttalk to teach other, then I'm lonesome.  Because there issomething going on between us, and it's not complete, [so] ithurts.  Let's say on a spiritual level, if I have a bottle and itsempty, it doesn't hurt.  If it's half full, then the other half,which is empty, hurts??.  
	I'll tell you something very deep:
	Imagine a Jew, he doesn't want to be a Jew, he's empty, itdoesn't hurt that much.  I don't know, I've not been in the _____. But let's assume there would be a Jew who's absolutely void ofeverything Jewish.  So his not being Jewish, or he's not beinghuman, doesn't hurt him.  But imagine, a little bit of the ____
and the rest isn't ______.

	You know, everybody knows, that it says {YIDDISH?  yotzerdas,  yotzer _____}, the more you understand, the more it hurts. What does it mean? the more I understand whawt I'm supposed to be,and I'm not yet, the more it hurts.  It hurts that I'm not-yet.

	So it's a strange thing friends:  On the one hand the peoplewho walk around and they have no hurt in their heart, it meansthey're so empty, they're so void of everything, doesn't evenhurt.  And the people are really like filled with hurt, they'rethe ones, because the're a little bit full.


	Ok, just for the sake of understanding, and I want to you tobear with me, because I don't have any idea what I want to say,just bear with me friends:
	Everybody knows there's Ahava and Yirah.  I sure some of youwere learning Rabbi [Zalman?] Shachter the last few weeks, 
l2
{N.B.: SO APPARENTLY THIS LECTURE SERIES EXTENDED OVER ATLEAST A NUMBER OF WEEKS, SPRING 1976, NYC, B'NEI JESHRUN}
L1

I'm sure some of you know a little bit about the {HEBREW: esersphiros} the 10 emanations, but this time I don't want to talkabout them, I'm just hoping you know about them.  
l2
{N.B.:  THAT REMARK IDENTIFIES THE AUDIENCE AS PREDOMINANTLYINTRODUCTORY-LEVEL}
L1
There is such a a thing as love and there is such a thing as fear. Just for the sake now, this moment, I want to say that Ahava means -- could mean just loving, how could you not love, this is nothing-- Ahava is that feeling, mamash, of certain completeness.  Yirah,fear -- fear makes you mamash hurt.  Fear means,  this feeling ofutmost -- it hurts me that I'm not complete.  
	But everybody knows that my two hands are ahava and yira, myright hand is ahava, {100} my left hand is yirah.  The Gemora says-- the Zohar Kodesh says, like a little bird, in order to flyneeds 2 wings, so in order to reach G-d, how do you fly up toheaven, you need two wings.  The two wings are ahava and yira,love and fear.  And forget the word 'fear' now, that's a badtransalation.  Just for this sake, right now, I'd like totranslate:  ahava is that absolute joy that there is something,right,  and yirah is this absolute pain that it's not complete.
	Let's say, for instance:  When you pray, if you really pray,how do you feel after you finish praying.  On the one hand you'reso glad you prayed, on the other hand you're filled with pain, whydidn't I pray better??.  I was standing before G-d, why didn't Ipray better.  I want you to please bear with me, I'm not talkingnow about pain like you know pain.  I mean the absolute elevatinghigh pain, you know -- ah, it could have been so much better.

	Listen, when you know when you love somebody very much, youknow what happens when you talk to each other.  You know so on onehand, I want to tell them 2000 things, right.  But when you walkaway, you realize, I didn't say anything.  I didn't say anything. So this is yirah.  No, it has to be so much more, so much better. 
	There are also two kinds of ______.  
	Imgine I had a great holy master and this person teaches meall about shabbos, all the laws of shabhbos, everything aboutshabbos, so mamsh makes me complete with [knowlege of] shabbos;very beautiful.  But one time I walk down by the holy Wall, fridaynight, and one yiddele, like mamash, shining from one corner ofthe world to the other, says good shabbos to me.  Suddenly I'm   really know what shabbosdik [or: `shabbos is'(?)].

	I don't know if you remember this story, I told some of you:
	The helige REB MENDELE VITEBSKE --
	You know, maybe some of you remember:  The real holytzadikim, the real holy people, don't do anything unless they havepermission from the lamed-vav tzadikim, the 36 holy people.  I'msure most of you know that, according to Rebbe VISHINER??, thereare 36 holy people in the world who uphold the world; mamash it'sdeep.   
	So Reb Mendele Vitebske, I don't know if andy of youremember, 200 families, the first hidishe(?)  settlement, they'reon the way to Israel.  Ok, they arrive in Israel, they live inZfat??.  After 20 years, remember, Reb Mendle Vitebske makes a bigfeast.  Ya, so what happened?  So he says so:  
	He says, if you remember, we were on our way to Israel, and Ihad not yet been given permision from lamed-vav tzadkik, so I wasgoing slowly, because I was waiting for one of the lamed-vavtzadkim to meet up with me.  He says we're absolutely coming tothe border between Russia and Turkey, and this lamed-vav tzadikcomes to me, _____, he says Mendele do you know where you aregoing, to the holy land.  And when he said it to me -- and believeme, Reb Mendele Riminover [sic; but presumably a mis-speak] knew alot about the holy land -- it was absolutely the highest anddeepest -- we have no concept of that kind of holy, of that kindof completeness and humility and strength -- so he said, I knew,the way he said it to me, I mean, that I really don't know yetabout the holy land.   He said, I've been now for 20 years, andlast night, for the first night, suddenly I knew what the holyland is all about.   So he says,  I'm making a little feast.  Ok,so there are those two lights(?).

	Here I want to share this with you, just open --
	The Beis Yakov says the most unbelieveable thing:  physicallyand even also spiritually, because we know the physical {200} andspritiual is one -- one is just like the cessation of the other --he says, why is a person just waking up, why do I suddenly wakeup.  so he says, listen to this:  because G-d puts into me,suddenly that I want to wake up.  A little light.  The Rabbenushel olam, G-d puts a little light into me, suddenly I want to beup.  You know, when I'm sleeping --

(Question:  Excuse me, Rabbi Carlebach, you know, I really have --
{Response: _____ tell me again ____}

So the Beis Yakov says, can you imagine, somebody wakes up and hesays to you, I really have nothing to do today.  So according tothe Beis Yakov it's a lie, because if you would have nothing to dotoday, you wouldn't wake up.  What makes you wake up.  Because G-dis putting into you this great light and a little light.  And youknow what you have to do.  _____ I gotta wake up, I gotta dosomething.  Something very special.  And at that moment with thislight shining into you , you're like a little holy prophecy.  Atthis moment, it's mamash deep deep inside of you, like it'sabsolute the closest, like mamash, G-d is telling you waht youhave to do today.  
	And the only thing is, all day long, when you "really" "wakeup", you know (in the light of it??) all those stupid thoughtscome over you, and you forget.  The holiest thing is, hold ontoit.  Hold onto that little light.  Because all day long --
	Now listen to this:  Why is there suddenly sunshine in theworld, why is the night changing to day {FN3b-sa}.  This is whatthe Beis Yakov says, and I think it's so beautiful, some of youmay remember, in a nutshell:  According to the Beis Yakov -- andby the way, the Beis Yakov is one of the holiest masters, wholived about 100 years ago  -- says like this:  It's not thatthere's daylight, and then suddenly the daylight is pushed aside,becomes night,  and then daylight comes and pushes out the night,becomes day.  
	First there's(?) daylight.  And then suddenly we realize, Ineed more than that.  I need so much more than that.  And Irealize that all this light I was seeing all day, was not really 
_____ (light at all??).  So suddenly I realize it's night.  Andthen suddenly before dawn, G-d is is shining into me, and into theworld, what they can do, what I can do, and what the world can do.{FN05a12-sa}
And this is -- you know, in other words, that great light, thislittle light which is shining into me, has no words yet.  It's sodeep, and so holy, it breaks me up.  
	Like imagine, I want to tell you something, takes on a verydeep meaning, so open your hearts:
	Imagine I call up the business association, I say listenbrother, I got to meet you, I got to tell you something, about ashipment of Coca-Cola.  Ok , now I tell him about the shipment ofCoca-Cola, he doesn't know what I mean, and if he does know, it'smeaningless, right, but I tell him, that's what it is.  When Ilove somebody very much, and I say to them, I want to tell yousomething, maybe what I really want to tell them is not so great,but the very fact, just telling them,  I want to tell yousomething, is so deep.  Such a great light.  Which is maybe deeperthan the lights??   
	So evey morning at dawn {FN05a13-sa}
there is this absolutely tremendous, G-d says, world wake up,yiddele wake up {FN3c-sa}.  ____ gevalt, so deep.  And then duringthe day I want to connect myself to this light, to this littlelight, and I make it bigger and bigger.  And then I realize, oy, 
that light was so much deeper last night(?).  It's night.  I go tosleep and I get up, I'll never have it again.  Next morning beforedawn, something happens, and the rabbenu shel olam wakes me upagain, and says ay(??)  -- what do you care if you didn't do ityesterday, {300} do it today.   Deepest depths.

	Ok, I want to share this with you friends:
	Forgetting about day and night now.  Inside of the inside ofthe inside there was a little light burning within us, right,which has no words.  And I know I got to so something, right
I have to do something in the  world, gotta do something, I'm nothere for nothing, I'm here for something, and I'm still asleepspiritually mostly [or 'most of the time'], and divine-ly, and  G-d--ly, I'm still asleep.  I want to wake up so  badly.  Andthere's a little light inside, pushing me.  


	Ok now listen to this, I want to share this with you, deepestdepths, just help me again:
	Last shabbos we read, G-d says, {HEBREW: (Leviticus 19:2)k'doshim tiyu _____} be holy because I, G-d, I'm  holy.  Then itsays {HEBREW, Leviticus 19:3, aish imo v'abo} fear your mother andyour father, and {HEBREW:       }and keep shabbos. {REFERENCE:Leviticus 19: __}.  Then it says, {HEBREW: Lev. 19:___} don't turnto idols.

	Now listen to this; I want you to just `knock it into yourhead' and after that it will make some sense:
	First it says:  Be holy, because I G-d am holy {Lev. 19:2},then it says -- again, 'fear' is a bad translation, I have noother translation, it means means `respect', or `stand in awe' butjust for the sake [of quickly advancing the discussion, use as aworking translation] it says  {Lev. 19:3} "fear' your mother andyour father, and then it says {HEBREW: Lev. 19:3}, keep shabbos,then it says {HEBREW: Lev. 19:4},  don't turn to, and really means-- idols --.

	And now listen to this, this is from the very very deepest??-- just open you hearts:
	Obviously, you know the torah goes higher and higher.  Youknow imagine first I went to kindergarten, I went to school, and Ialready have 15 Ph.D's hanging on me
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[Presumably in the humanities -- Typist.]
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and I get my 3rd Ph.D in advanced mathematics, and suddenlysuddenly after I get already my 5th Ph.D in [transfinite,presumably -- Typist] mathematics, you know, one will come and[say] listen, don't forget I told you 1 and 1 is 2, 1 and 1 is 2. ______ {YIDDISH: shande??} Who are you talking to, right.
	First G-d says be holy, honor your father and mother, andkeep shabbos, -- and also, don't worship idols -- that's stupid,right, I mean who are you talking to, right. {FN05a14-sa}
You can start saying, don't worship idols, be yiddele, keep holy,and keep shabbos.  So obviously we don't talk know aboutworshipping idols.  Also also, it doesn't say don't worhip idols,it says {HEBREW: al tikunim Lev.: 19:4 } don't turn to them.[Rashi interlinear translates 'Turn ye not unto the idols andmolten' ]
	Ok, I just want to share this with you at the beginning, andthen we'll get into it:
	____aliya?? the Beis Yakov says, aliya?? means, like,imagine, this would be a cop that has a little hassle, you know,aliya comes from something to hold onto.  But he says the deepestdepths:
	A lot of people think that to hold onto something, they knowthe whole thing.  I know one little thing about it, I havesomething to hold onto.  I'm holding the book in my hand, I wouldsay, listen brothers, I'm a master of this book, don't you see meholding it. {FN05a15-sa}
You can hang yourself for 2000 years, you don't know one word ofthis book.  
	People say, listen, I {FN05a16-sa}know all about G-d, 
I know all about yiddishkeit, people walk up to each other, I knowall about you {FN05a17-sa}
, I know all about you I know when you were born and I know yourbank account, and also where you live.  So what do you know.  Thisis idol worship.  
	You know what idol worship is?  {FN3d-sa} If you think youknow something about G-d because you know something.
	Nebuch I told you, once I had this book in my hand, and thisyiddele came up to me, and he came to?? keep it eventually, so helooks to all 4 sides, and suddenly it sees, it says printed byShulshin?? and Brothers.  Ah -- I know the printer.  Do you know - I mean, he knows the book, right, because he knows the printer.That's what we do, right.  Someone asks you, what do you knowabout Shabbos.  Shabbos:  always it comes up on Friday.  I knowall about shabobs, right.


	Ok, so I'm telling you this before.  Most of us, we'reabsolutely pagans, we know one thing, and we think we know thewhole thing, and even this one thing we don't know.

	Ok, let's start from the beginning:
{400}
	What is holy ?
	Beis Yakov says, holy means, infinite.  Absolute infinite. And listen to this; I want to give you a few examples:
	I can walk up to a poor man, and all I have on me is adollar. I give a dollar, and all I gave him was a dollar.  That'snot called 'holy', it's `good'(??).  I can give him a dollar on alevel of, I want to give you everything there is in the world.____
	You know someone,  I love somebody very much, and they come,oh you know, I'm so thirsty, I need some water, so I can only givethem  a glass of water, but you know what I say to them?  I don'tsay it but _____ that water, I wish I could give you everythingthere is in the world, I love you so much.  But I give them thatone glass of water.  

	I'll tell you something deeper:
	If I love somebody very much and they say to me, give me aglass of water, so I give them, at this moment it was Tuesdaynight, May 4, 1976, I give them a glass of water.  So that'sfinite.  On an infinite level, I give them one glass of water, butI say to myself, and to them, or to the air, I wish whenver youdrink water, I should be privileged to give it to you.
	That's  holy.

	And then he says:  You know what holy means, it means thereis no walls between me and what I'm doing.  
Because the moment I say 'just this and not more' I make a bigwall.  You see, if someone says to me can you give me $10, I sayyeah, I'm glad you only asked me for $10, because if you asked mefor $20 I would not give it to you.  What a wall.  But someonesays, give me $10, I say, I'd give my life for you, here, I giveyou $10. {FN05a18-sa}
	Now listen to this;  then he says the deepest depths first:  
Holy means, that's important.

{Please tell them to close the door?}

	How do you know how much you love somebody?  Imagine somebodyasks me, can you please save my life, you know, big thing, right. So sombody says to me, can you do me a favor, can you give me thisbook.  Unimportant, they can get it themselves, but I do it. Because ______ nothing happens, gave them the book.  If I lovethem very much, you know what happens -- I gave them heaven. Unbelieveable.  'Cause holy means _____ .  The smallest thing. You see,  unholy people say , this is important, this isn't.  
So I want you to get this feeling, holy is the highest kind ofloving there is.  Holy is the utmost deepest _____ .  

	Now listen to this:  If someone gives me $10, why am I notgetting up and jumping like mad.  Because I realize there's somuch more back in the First National Piggy?? [actually sic `City']Bank which I don't have.  So why should I dance for $10.  I haveso little. {500} But imagine if someone one gives me $10 on thelevel of infinte, right.  Someone comes up to me to give me this$10.  I get up and dance.  Because it contained everything thereis.  So he says like this, I want you to think of it in a verydeep way:  holy means on the level of infinte, not only knowlege,but it means infinite also on the level of space and time. It'salways ______ then it's ______. 

	Again, how do you know if you love somebody very much.  Youspend 5 minutes and it feels like you never did anything elsebefore, and like I never did anything else -- Absolutely infiniteand all _____.
	You know what it means to put on tfillin in the morning? When I put on tfillin in the morning it's like, I never didanything else but putting on tfillin, ______
RECORDING STOPS  {526} 
WHITE NOISE CONTINUES
WHITE NOISE STOPS {535}
THIS TEACHING CONTINUES AS =sh76050b, RE-TRANSCRIPTION OF TAPE 2OF 2, MAY 5, 1976.  
HOWEVER FROM THE TEXT I THINK THERE MAY HAVE BEEN MORE THAN 2TAPES FROM THIS TEACHING.
FOOTNOTES (SA) FILED OFF TO \SANOTES

.p
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