Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? 
  Father : No. Why do you ask that? 
  Son : Well, where did you get mummy then? 
  
  :: :: :: 
  
  Lady : Is this my train? 
  Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company. 
  Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to Kuala Lumpur. 
  Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy. 
  
  :: :: :: 
  
  Peter : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red           spots! 
  Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home. 
  
  :: :: :: 
  
  Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again? 
  Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time. 
  
  :: :: :: 
  
  Wife : Do you want dinner? 
  Husband : Sure, what are my choices? 
  Wife : Yes and no. 
  
  :: :: :: 
  
  First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" 
  Second Guy : "You're lucky, mine's still alive." 
  
  :: :: :: 
  
  The girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged, will you give me a ring?" 
  "Sure," replied her lover "What's your phone number?" 
  
  :: :: :: 
  
  A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, 
  
  "Order, order." 
  
  The drunkard immediately I'll have a scotch and soda." 
 
  :: :: :: 
  
  'For twenty years my husband and I were very happy' 
  'What happened then?' 
  'We met.' 
  
  :: :: :: 
  
  Customer : 'If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Brighton in two days' time?' 
  Post Master : 'Well it might do'. 
  Customer : I bet you, it won't. 
  Post Master : Why not? 
  Customer : It's addressed to London. 
  
  :: :: :: 
  
  An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist. 
  'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.' 
  'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist. 
  'How long has what been going on?' said the man. 
  
  :: :: :: 
  
  Girl : Do you love me ? 
  Boy : Yes Dear 
  Girl : Would you die for me ? 
  Boy : No, mine is undying love 
  
  :: :: :: 
  
  1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window 
  2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor. 
  1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions. 
  
  :: :: :: 
  
  Man : How old is your father ? 
  Boy : As old as me 
  Man : How can that be ? 
  Boy : He became a father only when I was born. 
  
  :: :: :: 
  
  Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field" 
  Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field. 
  Teacher : How ? 
  Student : Ladies first.