| by seth, not any one else. |
| Gym- er Physical Education at its best. |
| (We open up to happy Little Acres Elementary School where Ms. Billows 1st grade class gets ready for their first Gym Class. Excitement bubbles throughout the students as they talk excitedly of playing fun games and being able to run indoors! Little do they know what awaits them....) Little Timmy: Oh boy I cant wait to play dodgeball! My brother said its the coolest game ever! Little Billie: I dont care what we play I just love gym. ( A door slams open. A woman walks out. But this is no ordinary woman. She is....um....really scary and looks like a man sort of and...she is scary. yeah her name is i guess ms...Ihatekidstheyshoulddie or ms. I for short.) Ms. I: Excuse me young man did i just hear you say "gym" Little Billie: (looks frightened at first but then smiles) Yes ma'am i did! Ms. I: I thought so. (smiles then suddenly turns evil) THIS IS NOT GYM! I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR THE WORD "GYM" IN THE PLACE AGAIN! ANYONE WHO DOES.....Will be...punished (she laughs evilly) Little Jimmy: (squeaks out) Will we be playing games? Ms I: (her left eye bulges in fury) Games? do you play games in math? OF COURSE YOU WONT PLAY GAMES! THIS CLASS IS HERE TO TEACH YOU VALUABLE LIFE LESSONS! Little Jimmy: (cowers, and shakes as his eyes fill with tears) No games? Ms.I: (eyes narrow) There are no such things as games in PHYSICAL EDUCATION! Children : *gasp* Timmy : But my brother said- Ms. I: YOUR BROTHER CAN KISS MY ASS!! Timmy: Oh...... (blinks eyes) Ms.I: So who likes dobge ball? Johny: ME!!!! Ms.I: Run a lap! If i find any of you kids having what you call "fun" you will run a lap! Ok now for showers. Jews in the left shower, every one else in the right. Jews: ohhh.... Steve (assistant): Ok now go take showers. heh heh heh heh...oh god thats great. Johny: (out of breath) But we dont have showers. Ms. I : Get out of my classroom! And when you realize your error you may return. Steve: You will each be given ugly grey uniforms which will not fit you sorrectly. This will improve character and make people like you more. You will not complain about the uncomfortableness unless you want to.... be punished. Johny: Uncomfortableness isnt a word mr. steve. Steve: WHAT DID YOU SAY!?!?!? Johny: I was just helping out sir. Steve: Get out of my site! If i want help i will give it! Johny: how can- Steve: your in my site! Get out! Ruben Suvilka: (spannish giberish) OLAH ME SIKI NO HAS BEN POELO DE HAM?!?! Steve: What? Ruben: My brothers gang will defeat you! No one can stop the deciples! *pulls out a knife and jumps toward Steve* This is for Mexico! (Steve steps out of the way and Ruben flys out the window to a watery death) Steve: Any one else want some? Childen: *shake their heads* Ms. I: Good... now tomorrow for PHYSICAL EDUCATION we will be WORKING on the dodge ball SKILL remember this is not a game this is a COMPETITION. you will compete for my respect and Steve's if you fail to amaze us you will be "droped" from this class. (evil luagh) END PART ONE (1) |