Random plotbunny, MWPP-era. Wherein Sirius, James, and Peter have a Serious Talk of Utmost Importance (tm).
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"I'm telling you, it's got to be true!"
"You're absolutely daft, you know that?"
"No, hear me out..."
"This had better be good. I've still got three more feet to go on McGonagall's bloody essay on how /not/ to turn an armadillo into a cactus."
"Pete, this is our lives we're talking about here! Transfiguration can wait."
"Spill already, Sirius."
"Yeah, sure. Okay. Take this evening for example. We had steak for supper, remember?"
"How could we forget? It isn't often that we have red meat these days. So what does that have to do with Remus?"
"Didn't you notice how red his own steak was? Barely cooked, if at all! Practically bleeding all over his plate. I tell you, if I didn't know better, I'd swear he'd bribed the house elves just to make it look like his meat was browned on the outside."
"That means nothing, you prat. I like a good, rare steak myself."
"Yeah, but you also ate the stringbeans at supper. And the pudding. Double helpings, if I recall. Remus didn't eat any of that -- just the bloody steak."
"I still don't think that proves anything, save, perhaps, that Peter has an incurable sweet tooth."
"I'm not done yet, James. You've seen how pale Remus is all the time, yes?"
"Hello? He's Scottish."
"He never goes outside, though! Never joins us for Quiddich practice. Never wants to have a snowball fight when it's winter, or play tag in the spring."
"Maybe Remus knows how to control his nervous energy, unlike some overzealous Beaters I know."
"No, no, James, I think Sirius has a point. I mean, Remus is always holing himself up in the library. Rather spend his time indoors with a dusty old book than outside with his friends."
"See? Peter gets it."
"I'm still not convinced."
"Don't worry -- there's more. You've seen how he stays up so late. How he never seems to want to sleep, even when he's nearly falling over from exhaustion."
"If I could function the next morning on as little sleep as he gets, I'd gladly be a night person too."
"It's not just that, though. When he does sleep, he's always so noisy."
"He has bad dreams."
"But why, James? What is so bad that he spends each night whimpering and thrashing, even among friends?"
"I don't know. I'm sure he'll tell us in due time. There's probably something--"
"You remember that time we woke up to those dreams of his, and there he was chewing on his pillow?"
"Christ, Sirius, that doesn't mean anything!"
"I'm telling you, he was chewing the life out of it!"
"If I were that pillow, I'd have been frightened."
"Maybe he got hungry and was dreaming about marshmallows!"
"Or a big, bloody steak, James. One last point, and then I'm done. You can decide for yourselves, but I'm convinced."
"Go on. Convince me."
"Every so often, Remus just gets weaker and weaker. Paler, more listless. Withdrawn, yet a tangle of nerves. And then, he disappears for one, two, sometimes three days at a time."
"His Mum's been sick. Remus has been worried."
"This regularly? No, that's just too much! I say he hunts during those times when he's not around. He comes back to us a little worn, but always with a bit more color to his cheeks."
"God, I think you're right, Sirius. I mean, it'd make sense..."
"James?"
"Hn. I don't know. Those are some decent arguments, but I'm not sure I completely buy it."
"But what do we do if it's true? I mean, a Dark Creature, in our very dormitory!"
"I don't care one way or the other -- it's still Remus! He's still one of us."
"But James, what if he tries to hunt us next? Those types of creatures are so unpredictable!"
"He might not be a Dark Creature!"
"James, look at the facts, already. He likes raw, bloody steak. He's pale, often weak. He disappears for days on end regularly, with tenuous excuses for his disappearances. He's up to all hours of the night with such nasty dreams. And when he does sleep, he rends inanimate objects with his teeth."
"It could all be coincidence."
"I don't think it is."
"I don't /want/ to believe it!"
"You've got to believe it, James. Otherwise all of Hogwarts could all be in trouble."
"But it's Remus!"
"Yeah, James. Shy, pale, unassuming Remus Lupin. Face the facts, James -- Remus Lupin is a Dark Creature."
"Bollocks..."
"James, it's true! You've got to believe me -- Remus Lupin is a vampire!"