3 billion people, thats 3 billion snotty, 'fuck yous''
I had orignally intended on updating today with some news articles and comments, but I sidetracked myself with pornography. Its hard to keep motivated reading lines of text, with images of spread cunt on the other opened browser. I need a girlfriend. I need a crack whore. I need a third hand.
Now for the social commentary portion of our update...
I spent last Friday in a constant state of drug and alchohol intoxication. I was destroyed by the time I got to the club, and by the end of the night I figured I was going to die of some kind of substance overdose. Any fucking ways, I was sitting outside when my, 'oh shit... theres a fight about to happen' radar starts bleeping, so I make my way over to the disturbance. It was the typical Y-Bor city stand off, some fratboy out of towner thinking hes some badass since hes from New York, screaming at like twenty mexicans. As per standard procedure, fratboy ripped off his shirt and starts making his way to a mexican dude, when he got hit in the head by a fucking bottle. He in turn runs away to chuck a bottle, the cops come and break everything up and send everyone on their way. End of story right? Nope... The fratboy walks down the road and puts his fucking arm through a plate glass window. The cops, in turn mace him to hell and throw him on the ground into an ocean of his own blood. I've seen this shit before, but I don't fucking understand. What forces someone to induce pain upon themselves after they just got their asskicked? I've never had the desire to punch through fucking glass or whatever. Is it that humilating to get your New York ass handed to you by a Floridian that you have to go make a bigger ass out of yourself by impaling your arm on sheet glass? There's easier relief for post-fight anxiety then that. Raping fat old 90 year olds is my usual solution.
-somah
2/22/01 (6:16 pm est)
Where is my mind?
Wow... updating. What the shit? Anyways allow me to make my standard apology for being away for so long. I started a new job, started school, and started drinking religously. Allow me to enter into another tirade and steal your time to update you with the various, meaningless hight-lights of last month.
1) I started going to a club. Every Friday, I put on my official skateboard costume, adopt my official punk-rock attitude, and drink my official, 'I'm too fucking good for domestic," Becks beer. I spend the night looking at mod-rock girls and devestating my liver.
2) I met a girl... well a goth girl. One who also happened to have the I'm goth, 'so allow me to divulge supposed 'shocking' details about my boring, bland life' attitude. I actually shouldn't have minded, since that's what this webpage has become. I did though. I'm a card-carrying, certified hypocrite. Anyways, I disregarded her attitude because I saw a chance to give my masturbation hand a break.
3) I fucked a girl... well I tried too. See topic 4.
4) I learned that Mini-Thins, alcohol, and marijuana do not produce an effect similar to Viagra. I had a run in with stupor-induced temporary flaccidity syndrome. Allow me to waste more of your time. I need to make this update look like it has substance as well.
So there we were. Siting on my luxorious, comfortable bed (couch). blah.. let me skip to my point. Ok, so we made out for a bit, when I decided to get fucked. In pure super pornstar-fashion, I managed to one hand remove her bra, as well as her belt. So as I hovered over her, aiming my dick and readying for that poist-penetration bliss, I realized I cant get my dick to go in. Thoughts of, 'holy christ, shes fucking tight' rolled over in my head when I noticed her reaching between us for my dick. No sweat, shes gonna get it in for me. Wrong. She was trying to jack my dead cock back to life. Fifteen minute handjob later and I'm ready to go.
After about 10 minutes of her destroying my back with her nails, and drinking my blood and I feel myslef slowly going limp again. I tried to fight it and regain composure without her noticing. 'Just fuck her harder, I kept telling myself. 'Wow, shes screaming harder I must be getting firm again'. Nope. I slid completely out of her., which for some reason became amusing as hell to me and I started laughing. She didn't seem to share my amusement, so I had to rectify the whole fucking situation.
Did I say rectify? Make that attempt to rectify. I felt obligated into making goth-girl cum, so I started to go down on her, but as I reached like her belly-button, my, 'you don't really like eating girls out' instinct goes off, and I hesitatated. I dunno if she noticed it or not, so i attempted to pull a fake-out off by pretending that the hesitation was really teasing. So I head down again, but found myself halted at her waist by hesitation. I drove the vampire home.
5) I don't see that goth girl anymore. She decided she had enough of the, 'Hi, this is my token-punk boyfriend, who can't fuck' relationship we were in.
6) I met a new chick. This one wasn't goth and was fucking super hot. She had smiled at me for about two weeks in a row, so after like 15 beers I was able to approach her. I introduce myself, blah, blah, blah. She tells me her name's Blaze. I had to choke, 'ey3 ph34r j0r k-r4d hax0r er33t n4m3' out of my mouth and back down my throat. Anyways, I ended up making an ass out of myself and running away before getting her phone number.
There you have it, my excuse for not updating. My life still sucks when not updating, so I might as well attempt doing it regularly.
Shit, I didnt link anything, and I'm too high to go back and link relevant shit in the last few paragraphs. Here's some stolen links for you monkeys.
Enjoy your day...
[link theft 1] [link theft 2] [link theft 3] [link theft 4]
-somah
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please notify me of any broke ass links.