How To Put An Elephant Into A Refrigerator
Analysis:
1) Differentiate it and
put into the refrig.
Then integrate it in the refrig.
2) Redefine the
measure on the referigerator (or the elephant).
3) Apply the Banach-Tarsky
theorem.
Number
theory:
1) First factorize, second multiply.
2) Use induction.
You can always squeeze a bit more in.
Algebra:
1) Step 1. Show that the parts of it can be
put into the refrig.
Step 2. Show that the refrig. is closed under the
addition.
2) Take the appropriate universal refrigerator and get
a
surjection from refrigerator to elephant.
Topology:
1) Have it swallow the refrig. and turn
inside out.
2) Make a refrig. with the Klein bottle.
3) The elephant is
homeomorphic to a smaller elephant.
4) The elephant is compact, so it can be
put into a finite collection
of refrigerators. That's usually good
enough.
5) The property of being inside the referigerator
is hereditary.
So, take the elephant's mother,
cremate it, and show that the ashes fit
inside the refrigerator.
6) For those who object to method 3 because it's
cruel to animals.
Put the elephant's BABY in the
refrigerator.
Algebraic topology:
Replace the
interior of the refrigerator by its
universal cover, R^3.
Linear algebra:
1) Put just its basis and span it in
the refrig.
2) Show that 1% of the elephant will fit inside the
refrigerator.
By linearity, x% will fit for any x.
Affine
geometry:
There is an affine transformation putting
the
elephant into the refrigerator.
Set
theory:
1) It's very easy!
refrigerator = { elephant } 2) The
elephant and the interior of the
refrigerator both have cardinality
c.
Geometry:
Declare the following:
Axiom 1. An
elephant can be put into a refrigerator.
Complex
analysis:
Put the refrig. at the origin
and the elephant
outside the unit circle.
Then get the image under the inversion.
Numerical
analysis:
1) Put just its trunk and refer the rest to the error
term.
2) Work it out using the Pentium.
Statistics:
1) bright statistician.
Put its tail
as a sample and say "Done."
2) dull statistician.
Repeat the experiment
pushing the elephant to the refrig.
3) Our NEW study shows that you CAN'T put
the elephant
in the refrigerator.