I am feeling a little green today. I have not been having much nausea during this pregnancy, though. Nowhere near like with my two sons. Maybe this WILL be a girl! My boobs are sore, though. I got a little sick to my stomach this evening, though, when I cleaned the fish tank for the new fish. It's a Betta named Max. Get it? My son didn't. But Betamax was WAY before his time. And try to explain that to an 11 year old that has all of today's modern technology. All his own, I should say.

So, I believe I have violated all three of my own rules. First, I said I would not tell anyone I was pregnant. Well, I have told 2 people outside of my husband and sons, of course. I told one of my good friends and my aunt. I felt weird not having told her. I am not close to my mother, but to my aunt. So for anyone that would feel weird not telling their mom they were pregnant, imagine that feeling I had with my aunt.

Secondly, I have definitely not written here at least 5 times/week!!! I can't believe July 31 was my last post. I really have no excuse. We did take our oldest school clothes shopping all day yesterday and today. What a lucky kid. That's all I have to say.

Lastly, I have NOT relaxed. I feel stress and anxiety and panic and worry every second of every day. I go to the bathroom at least 50 times a day because I am convinced I am gushing blood. Or I feel something on my leg (probably imagining things) and I am sure that blood is running down my legs. I finally broke down today and told my husband. Of course, he told me not to worry, I don't need to worry, and I shouldn't worry. In a non-hostile way I told him he can't tell me not to worry or expect that I won't. It has gotten to a point where I am even checking on not only my two kids constantly to make sure they are alive, but my fish and guinea pig! I am convinced everyone around me is dying or dead and I don't know it.

Well, at least the times I do write have helped. And I found a great website (www.google.baby-gaga.com) that has forums that connect you with other people with your due date or thereabouts. I have found several other people going through the same basic situation as me and I initially found it reassuring. Not that I don't anymore, but I have just not been on there in a few days.

I am going to kidd myself into thinking I am going to relax right now.