Saga of the Privy

Dedicated Too Life History Project

For all who have had (or not had) the pleasure...

One of my bygone recollections, as I recall the days of yore, Is the little house, behind the house, with the crescent over the door.

Twas a place to sit and ponder, with your head bowed down low; Knowing that you wouldn't be there, if you didn't have to go.

Ours was a three-holer, with a size for every one. You left there feeling better, after your usual job was done.

You had to make these frequent trips whether snow, rain, sleet, or fog To the little house where you usually found the Sears-Roebuck catalog.

Oft times in dead of winter, the seat was covered with snow. 'Twas then with much reluctance, to the little house you'd go.

With a swish you'd clear the seat, bend low, and with dreadful fear - You'd blink your eyes and grit your teeth as you settled on your rear.

I recall the day Grandpa, who stayed with us one summer! Made a trip to the shanty which proved to be a hummer.

'Twas the same day my Dad finished painting the kitchen green. He'd just cleaned up the mess he made with rags and gasoline.

He tossed the rags in the shanty hole and went on his usual way, Not knowing that by doing so he would eventually rue the day.

Now Grandpa had an urgent call ..... I never will forget!!! This trip he made to the little house lingers in my memory yet.

He sat down on the shanty seat, with both feet on the floor.

Then filled his pipe with tobacco and struck a match on the door.

After the tobacco began to glow, he slowly raised his rear: Tossed the flaming match in the open hole, with no sign of fear.

The blast that followed, I am sure, was heard for miles around; And there was poor ol' Grandpa just sitting on the ground.

The smoldering pipe still in his mouth, his suspenders he held tight; The celebrated three-holer was blown clear out of sight.

When we asked him what had happened, his answer I'll never forget. He thought it must be something that he had recently et!

Next day we had a new one which my Dad built with ease. With a sign on the entrance door which read: No Smoking, Please!

Now that's the end of the story, with memories of long ago, Of the little house, behind the house where we went when we had to go!