The Brothers Saotome -- A Self-Insert Anime Fanfiction Multi-Crossover {Ranma 1/2, Sailor Moon, Gold Digger, etc.} Disclaimer: Aside from the characters that my friends and I portray, all characters, references to other anime series, etc. are property of their respective owners. Don't bother trying to sue me, I'm broke.... What happened last time: Last time on the Brothers Saotome, the stars of the show arrived at the Tendo house. All was explained reguarding their curses, their significant others, and their journey across China. Chapter 2: Kunos, Kunos Everywhere! ()- other languages, FYI's ~~- thoughts <>- Sound effects **- Written Dialogue *********** It was a little while after that fiasco that Genma and Soun brought up the whole fiancee' business. After everyone was gathered in the dining room (And Akane was revived), Soun began to speak. "Now we need to decide who is going to marry whom so that the schools may be joined. And since Ranma and Miss Ukyo are already a couple..." Bro and Ucchan both turned pink at that comment. "...that leaves Ryu, Duo and Ken. Now boys, you each have a choice of one of my three girls to be your fiancée. There is Kasumi, age 19, Nabiki, age 17, and Akane, age 16. Choose one and you three will unite our families and make the Anything Goes School the stronger from your union." When we proved to be obstinate in our decision, Pop thought he would 'help' us along. He started with Duo. "Duo m'boy, for the honor of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts you and your brothers must marry a Tendo and..." "Pop, do you really want me to send you back home to Mom in a _mailing tube_?" Duo asked with a fanged grin that could make any man cringe in fear. Pop brilliantly replied with a well put 'uuh..' and quickly moved on to me. "Ryu, there comes a time in every man's life when he must..." "Pop, do the words 'panda-skin rug' mean anything to you?" Pop 'eeped' and finally moved on to Ken; but not before Shampoo put her two yen into the exchange. "Shampoo always want bear-skin rug for home. Think Stupid Pop make very good furniture." But while Pop was trying to get over his yellow streak, Ken suddenly flew over the table and crashed into Nabiki who was directly across from him. She opened her eyes to find Ken's hands on her breasts (which I then noticed caused him and her to turn a delightful shade of red). Ken, in a moment of pure perverse genius, apparently managed to launch himself over the table and get a hold of Nabiki's ample assets, all the while keeping a straight enough face that made it look like some kind of accident. Behind him, Duo and Ranma were smiling like the cat that ate the canary. (I'm one of the few who know that the perverse genius that thought this up wasn't Ken, it was Duo. And that it was Duo's foot that 'assisted' Ken into that position.) And for some odd-ball reason, Soun took this action to mean that Ken was taking the initiative. "So you want my Nabiki, eh son?" Soun beamed proudly, "So be it then! Ken will marry Nabiki!" "Hey, wait a minute..." "GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF MY SISTER!!!!" Akane screamed before sending him into the koi pond via 'Mallet Air'. I smirked, and said all that could be said in this situation: "Nice fall, but that landing's gonna hurt him big in the long run..." Duo and the Fatherly Pair were holding up signs of their own. Genma's read "9.6", Soun's read "9.7", and Duo's read "8.9". Upon seeing the odd glances the two fathers directed his way, he shrugged. "The start was good, but the finish lacked panache." I covered my face and groaned. ****** Nabiki was sitting on the roof outside her window, watching the sun tilt slowly below the horizon, casting its dying radiance across the night sky, and trying to puzzle out how exactly all of this had happened. "Yen for your thoughts." She turned to see Ken standing behind her. "Oh. You." He smiled. "Yes. Me." "You come to grope at me again? It'll cost you..." Ken chuckled. "No thanks. I think that if I'm going to enjoy a privilege like that, I'd rather be found deserving of it first." Nabiki felt a rather perverse instinct rise up in her and she ever-so-slightly thrust her chest out. "What? Am I not good enough to be your fiancée?" Ken 'Urk'ed. "Well, no... I mean, yes... I mean..." "So you don't think I'm sexy enough?" "No, that's not what I meant." "Then what did you mean?" "Well, I mean, well, you ARE attractive and all... it's just..." "Just what? Is my chest too small for your liking?" Smiling wickedly, she jiggled. Ken froze. Nabiki looked up at him to find him staring straight at her chest and blushing mildly. His eyes slowly traveled upwards to fix her eyes with an odd gaze. Slowly, his hand reached out to caress her cheek for a second with the back of his index finger, his eyes not straying from hers even as his hand traveled down the hollow of her throat to caress the top of her bosom with a feather-light touch. His actions sent a nervous shiver down her spine. Abruptly, he stopped and pulled his hand away, the fire in his eyes flickering out like a wet candle. He sat down next to her, both of them nervously silent. Ken swallowed audibly as he smothered his desire, and sat resting his head on his drawn-up knees and watching the sunset in silence for a time. "You never responded to my statement," he spoke, breaking the stillness. She raised an eyebrow in query. "Yen for your thoughts." "Make it 500 yen and we'll call it a deal." He chuckled. "So be it. Now what's on your mind?" She sighed. "Wondering just how it is that my life has been turned upside down in the space of 30 minutes." "I figured that might be it." She looked over at him, and found he was already staring at her with a peculiar contemplative expression on his face. He subconsciously reached into his shirt and pulled out his dragon necklace before continuing. "Listen Nabiki, I'm not exactly fond of the idea of an arranged marriage either. Hell, if I had bumped into Akane or Kasumi, I would have been rather violently opposed to the idea. And I'm not just talking about turning the old man into a floor rug." Nabiki wondered what he meant by being violently opposed IF he bumped into her sisters. Did that mean he was more hesitant about complaining because he had bumped into HER? Ken continued. "However, since I ended up here, I've learned not to even bother with the old man's schemes and simply live my life as I would anyway, regardless of the stunts he pulls. Now, that being said, I think that no matter what our parents say, it's still completely up to us what we do with our lives and I'm CERTAIN that if we pushed hard enough we could get this engagement canceled... or we could go through with it. Point is, as far as I'm concerned, it's up to us what to do with our lives, not the old man and your dad. Now the question is... what do we want? Do we want to stay engaged for the time being and give ourselves a chance, or do we want to end things now and just quit?" He got up and slowly began walking off, before turning back to her. "I'll pretty much always be up here in the evenings. I enjoy watching the sun set. You're welcome to join me if you wish, but it's up to you." He turned to jump off. "Wait..." She heard herself say. He turned back. "Yeah?" ~Quick Nabiki, Think of something.~ "Uh... You still owe me 1,500 yen." "The deal was 500." She smirked. "I told you if you were here to grope me some more it would cost you..." He did the weirdest thing just then. He chuckled, and threw her a coin. "Keep the change." And then he bounded off. Nabiki looked down at the gold coin in her hand, and her eyes got as big as dinner plates. This was easily ten times what she had just asked him for, and more!(3) Feeling more utterly confused than she ever had in her life, Nabiki headed back through the window into her room. Meanwhile... "I told you it would work..." "Yeah, whatever. Shut up before I thwack you. Now, come on, let's see what he does." "Are you guys sure we should be doin' this?" "C'mon Ranma-honey, don't be a stick in the mud." "Shampoo want to see what Ken do too." *** Ken bounded from rooftop to rooftop, hoping that the cool night air would cool the burning blush on his face. ~What was I DOING back there?~ he thought, as he bounded from place to place. ~I can't believe I lost control like that... I thought I was way beyond that point by now.~ If there was anything Ken took pride in, it was his hard-earned control of his actions around women. He often admitted to his friends and to himself, that he had a greater appetite for sex than most, but he also believed deep within himself that he had an incredible amount of control over it. He had thought he could reign it in just as easily as he could let it out. That being said, it was obvious why these recent events were troubling him. With something like this, he couldn't afford for his control to slip just because Nabiki jiggled at him. He knew quite well what could happen if he lost it, and the thoughts of what might happen if he did scared the living shit out of him. ~I've got to do some thinking. I can't let that happen again.~ As if his mind was still on replay, the moment came back to him when his hand had darted downward to caress Nabiki's assets. It had been quite an effort to keep himself caressing just the tops, and it had taken all his willpower to stop himself from continuing. And yet, the heat of that moment wouldn't leave him alone, and he decided that he needed a more direct solution. Ken suddenly pulled an about-face and headed back towards the Tendo residence. Soun was just about to get to sleep when he heard a loud splash coming from outside, and, looking out his window, he saw something he never thought he'd see. A brown-furred ferret was climbing out of the koi pond, and was flapping its WINGS. Soun fainted. ******** (2)I returned a valuable artifact that Pop had 'borrowed' from a group of wandering monks while we were in China. As a token of gratitude, I was given a scroll that teaches this technique. (3) Let's just say you can find the strangest things inside mountain caves. ******** The next morning was a strange one for the members of the house of Tendo, as they found themselves waking to the sounds of violence in the backyard. This quickly prompted a hasty dressing and a rush down the stairs to stare out the back door at the group of people who seemed intent on beating the living snot out of each other. Genma stood on the porch, watching as the group trained. They had broken off into groups of 2: Ukyo and Shampoo, Duo and Ryu, Ken and Ranma. Ukyo and Shampoo were jumping around the yard, trading blows like there was no tomorrow. Duo and Ryu seemed to be working on increasing their defense and reaction time, as each would spend several long seconds contemplating the other before lashing out as quick as they could, trying to get in a surprise hit past the other person's defenses. Ranma and Ken, however, had erected a small firepit in the backyard, and were currently staring into it with a look of intense concentration on their faces. A split second later, they both let out loud Kiyai's as their hands became twin blurs around the fire, snatching objects from it at a speed that none of the Tendo sisters could even keep up with. "Well... this is interesting." Nabiki spoke up. "Just... what are they doing?" "Practicing." Genma said in an aside to the group on the porch. "They've been getting some special Amazonian Wu Shu training from Shampoo in two of it's most powerful attacks: Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken, and the Hiryu Shoten Ha." "Impressive..." Soun said from his spot on the porch. Genma nodded once, then moved back and sat down on the porch next to Soun. Just then, Kasumi called everyone in for breakfast. As if the words hit a switch in each of their minds, all four of them ceased their mutual attempts to pummel each other and quickly assembled at the table. A little while after, as Genma and Ranma were fighting over the last morsels of food, Nabiki stood up from the table and mentioned what time it was to Akane. She balked and rushed through the rest of her meal as the brothers looked on. "What are you in such a rush for, Akane?" Ryu asked before Shampoo fed him another bit of rice. "If we don't hurry we're gonna be late for school!" she replied, frowning. "You all should be hurrying as well." Ranma suddenly lost the fight for the last few pieces of rice as he looked up at her in astonishment. "Since when?" "Since right now, boys," Genma said as he set down his chopsticks and straightened up, "It's time you all started to work on your other training. A Martial Artist can't afford to be slow in other departments…" "Kinda like you Pop?" Duo asked, finishing up his meal. "Yes Duo like m-Hey!!" All four brothers laughed out loud at their father's lack of attention. ******** As the eight of us proceeded towards the high school ******** The rain was no problem. The student body was oblivious to my curse's activation, being far too busy chuckling at ol' Bokken Brain's plight. Things got weird when Kuno came back to his senses. "I... where is the cur, Ryu Saotome? And where has the beauteous Akane Tendo gone? And my lovely violet-tressed maiden?" His quizzical expression was enough to make me chuckle, which got his attention. "But hold! What is this vision of feminine loveliness that doth grace mine eyes? Let me gaze upon thee, my Tigress!" The way he rushed at me with his arms outstretched made it fairly obvious that he had a lot more than mere 'gazing' in mind. I decided to be a little bit sneaky at this point. Ryu's mentioned the ki-healing technique those monks taught him. What he forgot to mention was that Ranma, Ken, and myself were each taught something as well. Ken got the ability to make a sort of barrier with his ki, Ranma was taught a better way to enhance his body, and I... well, mine's a bit more complicated. What the monks taught me was how to affect the atmosphere with my ki. That lightning bolt that made Ryu's comeback so dramatic was me polarizing the air around me, channeling the resulting electricity across the outer edges of my aura, and letting it go into the ground without touching me. Sounds tricky, but it's not; very little effort is actually involved (it can only be done when the atmosphere's already predisposed to electrical discharge, i.e. cloudy weather.) A more difficult, but far more useful trick is heating up the air surrounding me. It works wonders for controlling my curse. When I used this trick, Kuno noticed the change right away. 'Change' referring to my Jusenkyo curse reversing itself while Tatewaki was embracing me. I know, I probably shouldn't let him get that close, but this chance to embarrass him was just too good to pass up. His reaction was predictable. "Vile demon! What hast thou done with my feline angel?" "Kuno, I had no idea the rumors were true!" I gave him a minute to digest the implications of my statement before continuing. "But, could you let go of me? I don't swing that way." He was left sputtering as he let go. I smirked as I released my control over the air, letting the cold rain touch my skin and the curse reassert itself. "Now, if you don't mind, I have to get to class." The look on his face as he once again saw me in my female form was priceless. "Ah! My beautiful kitten hath returned to my arms!" he said not-quite-poetically as he grabbed me again. This time, however, he made a mistake. He grabbed my ass. Fun's over now. I heated the air once again and soon felt the heated rain splash on my skin, once more reversing the curse. I was rather irate this time, and the tone of my voice showed it. "Kuno, I told you I don't swing that way. Now you must pay for taking such liberties!" I shoved him away from me, drawing his bokken from its place in his belt as I did so. I was the one wielding the weapon now, and my countless hours of practice with swords showed in the way I served up a beating to Kuno. An X-patterned series of slashes left him bruised. A violent upward strike caught him in the gut and launched him high into the air. I jammed the wooden practice sword about half the blade's length into the ground, and stepped back. I chuckled as he landed on the bokken's hilt. But I laughed out loud at the way he landed on it! Yep, you guessed it. Kuno and his bokken were now one. "Aagh! My noble backside!" Smiling a satisfied smile, I walked to class. Made it in just before the bell rang, too. But unknown to anyone else, a dark figure had borne witness to the proceeding events. "Heh heh heh, such persistant Keiki...looks like me came back just in time..." he said before entering the building via the roof entrance. ****** "Curse that fiend! The Blue Thunder shall have his vengeance! OWW!" "Hush, Kuno-baby. Let the proctologist do his work." ****** A few minutes later, the six of us were in front of the class and introducing ourselves to the rest of the students. "I'm Ryu." "Duo." "Ken's the name." "Ranma Saotome." "I'm Ukyo, Ukyo Kuonji." "Nihao! Shampoo is Shampoo. No make hair care joke, or Shampoo hurt you." She then emphasized her point by hitting the blackboard behind us and pulling her hand back with a generous portion of it wrapped around her wrist. The teacher was considerably paler after this impromptu test of strength and barely managed to mutter out "You may take your seats." before falling into his seat. Shampoo and I found an empty pair of desks near the back. Once we sat down, I quietly asked her, "Was that really necessary Shampoo?" "Yes, Shampoo no like being teased...except by Airen." She said that last part with a very amourous look in my direction, and I found myself blushing a bit at the innuendos that were implied by that statement. ******* (Meanwhile) As a farmer was tending to his field, a young man stopped to ask for directions. He looked a little bit like Ranma but had a tiger-striped bandana around his head and a backpack across his shoulder from which protruded a bamboo umbrella. "Excuse me, but do you know the way to Furinkan High School? It's in Tokyo." "I don' know 'bout no high school, but if ya want to get to Tokyo just go straight down this road. Can't miss it." The young man's face broke into a grin revealing a set of fangs underneath. "At last I've found you, Ryu Saotome..." The young man started down the road as instructed at full speed, but unfortunatly he took the farmer's instructions a bit too literally, and continued in a straight line even after the road veered off to the right. ******* Even though some of the class was still a bit stunned by Shampoo's display of power, it was looking to be just another typical day at school, at least until the public announcement system rang out: "All students and teachers, meet in the school auditorium right away." Curious glances were exchanged, then everyone did as they were instructed. Within moments the halls were filled by the student body as it made its way to its destination. Almost as soon as the students began walking, they noticed something different about the school. "Who put these busts of some weird-looking guy with a palm tree growing out of the top of his head in the hall?" Ranma asked. When they had first come to school the hallways had looked normal, but now there were a series of busts of the same, smiling man with sunglasses lining both sides of the hallways. Each one looked identical to the others. "Busts?" Shampoo asked as she looked at the short statues of the heads as well. "Yeah," Ryu explained. "Those statues you're looking at. Those are called busts." Shampoo looked in confusion at her Airen. "Shampoo thought bust was another word for breasts." She pointed at her chest. Ryu began to squirm a little under the close scrutiny his eyes unexpectedly gave him reguarding the Amazon's own 'bust'. "Well, yeah. It is." "Why they call the short statue bust if it stop before it get to bust?" "Ah, well..." Ryu was trying hard to come up with an answer, when Ukyou swatted him in the head with a spatula. "Quit asking dumb questions." She hefted the spatula before her. "We have to get to the auditorium." As they continued to move towards the Auditorium, the young girl with the bandanna approached the lot of them. "Hi there! My name's Sakura! What's yours?" she asked the group. Each of them gave their own introductions to her, and by the time they all reached the auditorium building Akane and Sakura were deep in an animated conversation over the martial arts. Ranma and the rest of the group hurried inside to avoid getting trampled by the rest of the student body. "Let's hurry and grab a seat next to the bleachers." However, the entirety of the bleachers were filled up by then, so they ended up settling for a tight cluster of chairs on the floor. The majority of the homeroom followed suit and sat in a pattern similar to that of their class. The auditorium filled up quickly. Soon all of the students were on chairs on the floor or the bleachers, while the teachers of the various departments went to the stage and used the set of chairs that was located next to the podium. "Do you smell coconut?" Akane asked as she sniffed the air. Duo sniffed the air and was about to agree when the doors leading to the auditorium burst open. Everyone turned to see the cause of the disruption behind them was the man from the busts; the palm tree growing on the top of his head was the giveaway. Puzzled expressions dominated the auditorium once everyone had a full view of him. The man was nearing his forties and was wearing a garish combination of Hawaiian shirt, shorts, and even sandals that were hard on the eyes. He speeded along, using a skateboard to move quickly and effortlessly, almost like a demon on wheels. Rather than go straight up the aisles and to the stage, he built up some speed and chose to leap in the air with his skateboard over the crowd. The man zipped up the aisle, pulled up to the podium, did a small circle and then stopped. Ranma noted that the teachers appeared just as confused as the students at the eyesore's presence. While everyone was whispering in confusion, the man turned on the microphone at the podium, and without any further fanfare, began to speak. "Aloha everybody. Today I be introducing you to de new big kahuna around here: me." The man allowed that to soak in. He had them off-guard, just the way he liked. It would make what was to come so much easier for him. "Dat's right, my little keiki. I de principal. I wen' leavin' de assistant in charge so I can go to Havai'i on sabbatical. But dat brudda quit because o' some stress issues, so da school board wen' callin' me back. 'You de only man fo' dis job,' dey tell me." Actually, they had said there was no one else on hand that was willing to take the job, but since the end of the journey was the same, what difference did it make in which path was taken? "Lucky for dem, I was already saying to myself, 'Kuno, you gotta bring extra special presents for all your keiki!" Everyone's ears picked up on the word 'Kuno'. Tatewaki, who still had managed to attend the meeting despite the 'intrusion' of his derrier earlier today, suddenly found himself the center of attention, and reacted accordingly. "It is true, this black mark on the Shooting Star of Furikan High-" "I thought it was 'Blue Thunder'?" someone mentioned. "Be silent!" Kuno snapped. He took a moment to compose himself. There was no sense in denying the truth. "Loathe though I am to admit it, this half-mad creature is my own sire." "As they say, Like father, like son..." Duo commented dryly. The principal continued on his speech. "Anyway, You keiki ready for da big fun?!" He pointed at two students towards the front of the auditorium, a girl and a boy, and indicated they should come forward. They looked at each other curiously, wondering why they were singled out, then approached the podium. As they climbed the set of steps to the stage, the principal grabbed two wooden chairs and offered them the seats. Both of them accepted and sat down, pointed outwards to the crowd. The principal's teeth gave off a predatory gleam as he smiled. He moved directly behind the two students. "From now on, here's new school rules. ALL brudda's get dem buzzcuts, ALL sistas get dem bowlcuts!" The principal whipped out a set of shears. It was over faster than it had begun as two sets of brown locks gently tumbled to the floor. The two students ran their hands over the scalps where their hair had been a moment before, and upon realizing that it wasn't some horrible nightmare, both burst into tears. If the principal took notice of their reactions, he gave no indication of it. He returned his attention to the student body and allowed them to admire his handiwork. The students' 'admiration' took the form of cries of denial and protestation at the idea of having their hair sheared off, or nearly all of in the case of the girls. ******* It was obvious that Kuno and this guy were related by now. Both of them were completely nuts! "Bro, I'm havin' a hard time figuring out whether this guy is just nuts, or just stupid." Ranma nodded. "My guess: Both." By this time the other students had upgraded from throwing verbal abuse at the Principal to throwing physical abuse in the form of various blunt objects and gym equipment. "Woah-ho-ho! Bad Keiki! Bad!" The Principal said, ducking under the assault. "You no let Headmaster finish the whole story. When you hear dat you understand better..." That managed to get their attention for a second. "Now you Keiki wan' fight for your own freedom ya?" The chorus of 'YES!' was almost deafening. "Well den...Here's what we gonna do. As you keiki know, Furinkan be having da big Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics match against St. Hebereke in a week. Da big Kahuna wan his school ta win big, so he be willing to give WHOLE student body a "Pardon from All School Rules" if our team be da winna!" He stopped talking long enough to pull down a projection screen with a picture representation of the Principal's hair rule. "But if our team be losin', den all school rules be put in effect. An if Keiki no agree ta terms, den da Headmaster just be skipping to da part where all keiki's start following da rules right now." He took a few practice clips with his shears for emphasis. The audience was soon a buzz with whispers about what they could do. Now most of the students still weren't willing to put such a big gamble on the upcoming gymnastics match despite the Principal's add-on threat. That was because St. Hebereke's MARG team had held an undefeated record for the entire year so far. And given the rumors surrounding the team leader, Kodachi "The Black Rose" Kuno, defeat (and bad haircuts all around) seemed all but assured for the students of Furinkan High. Too bad no one thought to tell the lot of new transfer students these little FYI's, before four of them spoke up. (Though even if we did, we probably would have done the same thing anyway.) The four of us(well, six now counting Ukyo and Shampoo) went into a football huddle and discussed what we should do about this almost no-win situation... "Something doesn't feel right about this,"Duo quipped, stroking his chin in thought. Ukyo nodded. "Tell me about it, Duo-honey." "I'll bet that Macadamian Nut's gonna sabotage us if we go along with this bet." Ranma said, not trusting this guy a single bit. Shampoo turned to me. "What you think, Airen? You is too too quiet..." There was a moment of silence before I spoke. "It's a sure bet that the Principal's up to something with this little idea of his. So far, he's got all the cards and a game face so unreadable you'd think he was wearing a mask." My frown quickly turned into a smirk. "Which means that he's got a good idea of how things'll turn out if we accept his terms as is. Ranma! what's the best way to deal with an opponent that seems to know all your moves in advance?" Bro blinked for a sec, then smiled as he realized what I was talking about. "You'd give them something that you normally wouldn't try to otherwise." "Exactly! We need to throw a wild card into this game to give us some leverage against that Freaky Tiki...something like...a fill-in for Furinkan's usual team roster!" "Aiyah! Ryu so clever!" "And just how do we convince Hula Hair of this changeup?" Ken asked, still a bit unconvinced. "We do to him what he's doing to us..." I replied, pulling my braid into view. "We give "da Big Kahuna" an offer he can't refuse..." To make a long story just a little bit shorter, my idea to convince the principal to allow the roster change worked, but only after the four of us had raised the stakes by agreeing to become the Headmaster's Deputies if Furinkan lost the match, as well as letting 'Hula Hair' pick the fill-in. Out of all people, he chose AKANE. Hope this doesn't come back to bite me in the bum... ********* That evening after school, Akane began practicing in the dojo with the weapons loaned to her by one of the members of the gymnastics team. To help her through this crash course, the Saotome Brothers watched Akane as she prepared for the match in a week's time. But as the boys found out realitively fast, Akane had the attitude needed for success; just not the grace... Akane sighed as she tried using yet another one of the gymnastic tools open to her. She knew she could do better with the hoop. After all, she couldn't possibly get tangled up in it like she had with the ribbon. It had taken her nearly half an hour to untie the knot she had somehow formed when she accidentally hog-tied herself with it. ~And the fact that those jerks were laughing the whole time didn't help much either...~, Akane thought to herself. She then took the hoop and began going through the motions ok, till she came to the part of rolling through the hoop. Halfway through it one of her arms got caught on the hoop making her collapse in a heap on the wood floor. Ken shook his head embarrassed. "Ryu...this plan of yours isn't gonna work..." Ryu winced as Akane had tried the hoop a second time and failed it the exact same way. "I know it looks bad(ugh...very bad), but that doesn't mean we should throw in the towel. 'Fortune favors the bold' after all..." "The Bold, yes. The Pathetic, no." Ranma said while Akane pulled herself out of the hoop. It was as she found herself stuck in the hoop for the third time that Shampoo entered the dojo. After taking in the bizarre scene, she asked, "Why not let Shampoo help Akane with weapons? Shampoo learn when very young, so should be able to teach Akane okay." Ryu's eyes brightened as an idea hit him. "That's it Shampoo! Maybe with your help, Akane'll be able to get enough skill in this sport to have a fighting chance." Shampoo blushed a bit at her Airen's praise. "Ryu really think Shampoo can help that much?" Ryu grinned. "Let's just say our chances at winning have gone way up with you around.." And it certainly looked that way at first. Akane was a fast enough learner that she got a handle on many of the basic techniques one could use with the ribbon and clubs. But when she tried one of the more difficult maneuvers with the ribbon, she slipped on one of the medicine balls that had been laying on the floor and twisted her ankle. What with everyone going in to check on Akane, no one noticed that Ryu got a small smile on his face. Shampoo felt it several times before giving Akane the verdict. "Shampoo think it sprained, not broken. Akane should go see doctor and make sure, though." "Great," Akane said sadly as she allowed Shampoo to help her to her feet. "How am I supposed to fight when I can't even walk?" "No can stand, no can fight," Shampoo confirmed. "But the match! I have to fight, the whole school's counting on us!" Akane then remembered something. "I know! Ryu could use that healing trick on me. Then I'd be able to fight ok right?" Ryu seemed to pale just the tiniest bit."Um...Well, actually my Healer tech doesn't really work too well on sprains...sorry Akane." Shampoo looked puzzled for a minute. "But when Shampoo get sprained wrist last month, tech work fine then...how come not now?" Ryu flinched, so much for that idea. Akane grimaced as she looked at Ryu. "Doesn't work on sprains, huh? RYU...." The eldest brother rolled his eyes at Akane's building rage. "Alright, alright. You got me Akane...I can heal you up in time for the match. Thing is though, I don't think I SHOULD right now." All in the dojo blink-blinked in unison. "Akane, it's not that I don't have faith in your ability to learn this type of event," Ryu said, "We just don't have the time..." "What do you mean?! I was making progress!" "Yes you were...but could you honestly say that you'd have enough skill under your belt in time to take on, and BEAT, someone who's been at this game for a lot longer than you?" Ryu replied, folding his arms across his chest. Akane started to shout out her retort, but something about Ryu's question stopped her. She thought about it a second, how she'd have to take on Kodachi with only the weapons provided to her, nothing more. She had been trained in the use of weapons before, but had also been taught to NEVER rely on any sort of weapon since it meant a weakness if you were disarmed. And now she was training for a week to do just the opposite of that?! There....there's no way it could work... Ryu smiled a bit as he saw Akane work through his question and come to the same conclusion that he did: If Akane fought, Furinkan would lose. "As long as you're sporting a debilitating injury like that, the whole "wild card" principle of this plan can be brought to the fore... But if not her, then who? Akane looked up at Ryu who nodded at Akane's unspoken question. "If you're about to ask 'Who can we find to fill in for you?' don't bother...I've already got an idea." The firstborn son of Genma turned his head towards the only other girl in the room at the moment, Shampoo. "Ryu want Shampoo fight?" "It's a sure thing, Shampoo...you have the most experience with weapons of the kind that'll be used in the match, you haven't been taught not to rely on weapons like the rest of us have, and honestly, it just wouldn't feel right trying to cheer Bro or Duo on while they fight in a leotard." Shampoo thought about it for a second, giggling slightly at the thought of Ranma in a leotard. She nodded. It was her school too. Besides, just how dangerous could someone that named themselves after a flower be? If she had happened to see the girl from St. Hebereke sneak away from the dojo window, she would have had a clue as to how dangerous... ********* It was a few hours later that Shampoo made it back to the room that she shared with Ryu. Exhausted from her training exercises, she simply rolled onto the futon and stared up at the ceiling to wait for Ryu to join her. As soon as her eyes focused on the rafters, she noticed something new that wasn't there before. An unknown person that was latched onto the supports like a spider, who suddenly let go and fell towards Shampoo screaming, "PREPARE TO DIE!" Shampoo dodged out of the way just in time to avoid being pulverized by the huge baka-class mallet the girl was carrying. Rolling into a kneeling attack pose, the Chinese Amazon got a good look at her assailant. She had long black hair tied into a ponytail on the left side of her head, dark blue eyes that had a cold snap of malice inside them, was wearing a green leotard and had a black rose in her hair. Wait...Black Rose? "Is Shampoo wrong, or is you girl that going to be opponent next week?" Shampoo asked, starting to see some truth to the stories that had been told about St. Hebereke. The figure smiled, and answered the amazon. "Why yes...I am the fair flower of St. Hebereke's School for Girls, a rising star in Gymnastics. I'm Kodachi...the Black Rose. And you, are about to have a most unsightly 'accident'." As the self-styled Black Rose said this, she raised her mallet intending to come through with that promise. But just as she and Shampoo were about to go at it...a shot of bluish light hit the Gymnast dead center and sent her flying out the window. Turning towards the source of the blast, Shampoo saw none other that her Airen in the doorway still holding his Hadoken pose. "Sorry to butt in Sham-chan, but it's late and I wanna get some sleep right away..." he said, grinning. "Besides, you'll get your shot at her next week." She didn't seem all that upset about it, she didn't want to fight right then either. The pair quickly cuddled up in the futon, and soon were both catching 'zzzz's'. ********* PREVIEW OF NEXT CHAPTER: Akane: Hi there! My name's Akane...In the next episode Shampoo and Kodachi go head-to-head in their long awaited matchup! Not only that, but an old rival of the Saotome Brothers shows up. Ryoga: Where am I? Akane: All this and more on the next Episode: "Of Rivals and Roses." We'll see you there!