July 28, 2005	Music: Led Zepplin
Society  -   Stupid Kids These Days

I was getting a drink at the water fountain, and this kid is standing next to me spraying me with a water gun. I'm like, "Stop you stupid kid!" He keeps on doing it and kept on asking me if I was done yet. Then I got pissed off and told that stupid 5 year-old that Barney was probably just some homosexual middle-aged black man in a purple felt suit. He cried. I laughed. They don't make kids like they used to... let me tell you what. When I was five, I had to recite Chairman Mao's dictates as my kingtergarden teacher, Comrade General Zao, whipped me with a metal chain while I stood on burning coals. Bare feet.

July 27, 2005	Music: Usher
Personal  -   A Growth Spurt??

Have I hit a growth spurt? I mean... I guess it's possible. Some people grow into their mid or even late twenties. Well... I guess it's semi-official now. Your boy is 5' 9" tall (maybe a little over even).

July 27, 2005	Music: Jackie Chan (I'm completely serious...)
Political  -   People Who Support Bush

I see a lot of "Viva Bush" or "Bush and Cheney" stickers driving around, so I'm going to put something out there. IF YOU DON'T HAVE A FAMILY MEMBER OR A FRIEND SERVING IN IRAQ YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO PUBLICALLY SUPPORT BUSH. Just remember, people are risking their lives over there. People, people as young as 19 or 20 years old, are being shipped to that desert shithole to fight a war whose justification changes faster Michael Jackson's nose. I've lost two friends in that conflict already. Everyday I pray that my best friend, who's still serving, will return to his family and friends safely. Two men, who themselves draft-dodged their way out of the Vietnam War (but thanks for protecting Texas for us George), are sending hundreds of thousands of young people to fight a country that didn't have the means nor the intent to attack the United States. Seriously... the closest thing they got to WMDs is a camel with a hand grenade strapped to its hump. I hope you're enjoying your vacation at Crawford Mr. Bush (or is it Martha's Vineyard this time around??).

July 26, 2005	Music: AC DC
Pop Culture  -   Enrique Iglesias... Stop Whispering!

My mp3 collection is, somewhat unfortunately, graced by the presence of a few Enrique Iglesias songs. I don't know how they got there, maybe I was hampered by the influence of some temporarily conscious-altering substance at the time, but I can't possibly think of any drug powerful enough to make any person download Enrique Iglesias' music. Anyhow, so it's playing on my iTunes, and I'm like, whatever... I'll just let it run its course and get to the next song on the playlist.   As I'm listening to this guy, something hits me. He doesn't ever SING. He just... whispers... like it's some kind of secret he doesn't want to share with anybody else. I mean, come on man... what are you trying to hide? Because it sure ain't that mole on your face.

July 25, 2005	Music: The Doors
Society  -   Rules for Shirtlessness

So I was taking a stroll down the street the other day (I don't know why, it was hotter than a gorilla's armpit outside), and I see this grotesquely obese, pale-skinned, shirtless guy just leisurely walking across the intersection. I just feel lucky I hadn't consumed a whole lot of food prior to this most stomach-churning visual engagement.   I mean, seriously... the government should pass some major regulations against this kind of public indecency. I'm thinking, something like if you have body-fat % over 40% than you should be forced to spend a year doing hard labor in Somalia. If you can make it out alive (meaning those poor starving people don't eat your fat ass), than you will be readmitted back into society.   A comment to all you overexposing tubbies out there: leave the shirtlessness to us good looking people.

July 24, 2005	Music: Jay-Z
Pop Culture  -   Russell Crow, Australian for Dumbass

You guys might have heard about the incident in the New York hotel a few weeks ago involving our favorite bar brawling, beer drinking, crappy rock music making Australian actor. This douchebag chucked a phone at a bellhop's face because he couldn't get through to Australia. WTF??? I mean, people say I have some anger issues, but this jerkass makes me look like Mr. Rogers. Then, of course, he went on his whirl-wind apology tour, denouncing his "bad behavior" in hopes of a reconcilation with the unfortunate, aforementioned bellhop and his adoring fans...   The latest media coverage has uncovered a hidden racist streak in the fellow... he apparently made some highly disparaging remarks at an Asian waitress in a PUBLIC restaurant. I hope he gets bit by a rabid dingo.