<BGSOUND SRC="onroad.mid" LOOP=INFINITE>
T H E   O U T H O U S E
The service station trade was slow.
The owner sat around
with sharpened knife and cedar stick,
piling shavings on the ground.

No modern facilities had they.
The log across the rill
led to a shack, marked "His" and "Hers",
that sat against the hill.

"Where is the ladies restroom, sir?"
The owner, leaning back,
said not a word but whittled on,
and nodded toward the shack.

With quickened step she entered there,
but only stayed a minute,
until she screamed, just like a snake
or spider might be in it.

With startled look and beet red face
she bounded through the door,
heading quickly for the car.
Just like three gals before!

She missed the foot log--jumped the stream.
The owner gave a shout,
as her silk stockings, down at her knees,
caught on a sassafras sprout.

She tripped and fell -- got up, and then
in obvious disgust,
ran to the car, stepped on the gas,
and faded in the dust.

Of course we all desired to know
what made the gals all do
the things they did. And then we found
The whittling owner knew!

A speaking system he'd devised.
To make the thing complete,
he tied a speaker on the wall
beneath the toilet seat.

He'd wait until the gals got set
And then the devilish tike
would stop his whittling long enough
to speak into the mike!

And as she sat, a voice below
struck terror, fright and fear.
"Will you please use the other hole....
we're painting under here!"

(author unknown)
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Reviewed Jan. 2004
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