"Bobby," a girl I know asked me one day, "when you boys are just hanging around together -- you know, standing on the corner or sitting on the steps -- what on earth are you talking about?" "Oh," I replied quickly, "we talk about things like baseball, the latest records, cars and -- well, that's about all." I stopped there -- but I could have added one last and most important word, "and YOU." But I didn't want to get started on the subject. The fact that boys do talk about girls very often among themselves has been a well-kept secret. In fact, I wish I could hide behind "by Anonymous" on this story. Maybe it's cowardly of me, but I think I have good reasons. You see, when a guy really starts trying to tell a girl certain things about herself, she immediately gets on the defensive and starts up with remarks like, "Well, let me tell you a few things about what's wrong with you!" Or, "It's easy to criticize, but can you take it?" Etc. In the end, a fellow just learns to keep his mouth shut about certain subjects around girls, and just discuss these things with the guys. It's a shame, too -- because the things I'm talking about aren't thou unkind, unfair lines that hurt or embarrass a girl -- these are things that really matter to boys. Let's cell it "constructive criticism" -- something that, even though it's hard to take, never hurts anyone. Let me give you an example of what I mean. Here is a little skit with some imaginary boys talking about some very real types of girls. Each guy will discuss a different type. And, believe me, this is just the way it really is. Maybe if you'll be real honest about it, you will find yourself, or parts of yourself, here. If you do, please don't get mad. Try instead to understand us and what we want and need. On with the show!
Four boys (Bob, Tommy, Johnny, and Bill) are sitting on a stoop talking. BOB: Hey, there's a stock-car race Friday night. Let's make it! TOMMY: Yeah, that sounds like a great idea! Oh, no -- I just remembered something. I can't make it. I have to see Jean Friday night. BOB: I know -- every Friday, rain or shine. Who's the boss, anyway -- you or Jean? TOMMY: Oh, it's not like that. Only she expects me to gbe with her on Friday and Saturday. She doesn't like cars -- so that's out. I wish she weren't so demanding. I feel like I'm trapped, sometimes. If she had something important to did, I'd understand -- or else try to -- and not be jealous. I can't do anything without telling her about it. It's getting so that I'd like to chuck the whole thing, but I really do like her. Girls just ought to realize that a guy needs a little privacy and some time to himself. I guess one day we'll break up over this one stupid thing. I'm a guy, that's all there is to it. I don't like to be told what to do or to be treated like a puppet. JOHNNY: Man, I know what you mean. I just got rid of a chick like that. Has to happen sooner or later, no matter how much you dig 'em. Now I go with Dottie, but she's getting to be a big drag. You know what she does? She dresses up like the Queen of England when we go out on a date. Her beehive is big enough for a flock of crows to nest in, and she has that gook sprayed all over her hair. If you tried to run your fingers through it, you'd break 'em. Eye make-up? Man, she owns the whole store! You know, I told her ten times she looks better without all that stuff on her face, but she just says, "What do you know?" That's funny -- girls always think they're right. They say they want to please us, then they do stupid things like this that embarrass us when we have to show up with them in public. Why can't chicks just be cool? BILL: Now you really hit it! I date a lot of different girls, and I'm going to keep right on doing that until I find one who doesn't giggle, whisper, smirk, talk loud, put on airs, lie to me and try to fool me. One girl I know is always telling me how many different guys call her. Doesn't she realize she's just plain boring me? I'm not running a popularity poll. I'm looking for a girl who'll just be mine alone. Another girl I know is always knocking herself out to please me. Now that's the other extreme. Can't she just be natural? It's O.K. to come on a little, but a guy can't relax with a girl who always tries to show him how much she cares and makes a big fuss over him -- especially in front of other people. That's a real hang-up! BOB: Well, boys, your stories are touching, but I couldn't care less about you. I guess I'm the lucky one. My Betty must be perfect. She wasn't always, though. I remember when she used to do a lot of stupid things, but when I finally got the nerve to tell her she didn't fly off the handle -- she really listened to me and tried. She realized that no guy will bother to correct a girl unless he honestly cares very much for her. I got to hand it to that girl. Sometimes, I was pretty tough. I remember when I made her quit gossiping with all the other girls. You know, some of those girls began to call her stuck-up an conceited, but in the end they realized that being a lady was the grooviest way to be. Betty never brags, shows off, or takes me for granted. She is 'girl' all the way, and makes me feel like a king without being gushy or phoney. I'd do anything for her and she knows it, but she never takes advantage. Yes, Betty is one girl in a million.
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