Horseradish – Lemony Snicket

 

The expression “Those who can’t do, teach” is a curious one, because if you look at the world, you’ll see that teachers aren’t particularly worse at doing things than anyone else, so perhaps the expression might be better worded as “Nobody can do anything.” (p. 36).

 

It is one of life’s bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting. (p. 57).

 

Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator. (p. 68).

 

No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don’t read is often as important as what you do read. (p. 71).

 

A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking books off the shelves and staying up late reading them. (p. 75).

 

Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them. (p. 87).

 

It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things. (p. 111).