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�Funny Stuff�
Britney Jokes
�My computer is like Britney Spears; cheap, white, and plastic.
�What do Britney Spears and PEPSI have in common?
They both have plastic jugs.
�Britney spears wrecked her $200,000 Ferrari after she downshifted into second gear going 85 miles an hour. But never any danger of her gettin' hurt. She wasn't hurt 'cause luckily, both her and the car have the dual air bags, so they're fine.
�"Sony Playstation 2, coming out with an Experience Britney Spears video game. Very realistic. In fact, the chips are made from the very same silicone as Britney."
�What do Britney Spears and a beer bottle have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.
Funny News From The Onion
Almost No Effort Made To Stop Kid From Eating Cigarette Butt
HALLOWELL, ME�While waiting for a bus Tuesday, Stan Geraldson watched 2-year-old Jason Kemper pick up a spent cigarette butt and place it in his mouth, but made only a minor attempt to stop him. "Hey, ah, you shouldn't..." Geraldson told Kemper, whose mother was engaged in a conversation a few feet away. "Don't... eat that." Geraldson said he would have done more to stop Kemper if the item had been fiberglass or something.
Funny News (True)
Man Says Election Sticker Ruined Jacket
Apr 7, 6:23 PM (ET)
STAMFORD, Conn. (AP) - A man says election day has left its mark on him and he is not happy about it. Robert Bonoff wants the city to pay for a new suede coat that he said has been ruined by a voting sticker.
Bonoff says the "I voted today" sticker he was handed and asked to wear after voting in the March 2 presidential primary ruined his suede coat.
Bonoff said he showed the coat to a dry cleaner who said the sticker's mark cannot be removed. He has filed a claim with the city seeking $106, the purchase price of the coat, including sales tax.
When the damage was brought to her attention, Democratic Registrar of Voters Alice Fortunato said she told Bonoff to get the coat cleaned and bill the city. When that didn't work, she forwarded his case to the city attorney.
"I'm very sorry that he feels that the sticker ruined his coat," she said. "But there's not much this office can do in that regard."
Stamford Director of Legal Affairs Tom Cassone said Bonoff will not be compensated. The city is not liable for damage caused by stickers handed out at the polls, city-sponsored blood drives or other events, he said.
Weird Facts
�The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
�On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
�Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
�A snail can sleep for three years.
�No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH".
�Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
�Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
�The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
�Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
The Couple Upstairs-had me rolling
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