There is nothing wrong with unrequited love. It happens all the time. I won't delude you into thinking that if he can't love you back he is not worth it. In fact, believe that he is. He is worth it all: the headaches, the anxiety, the embarassment, etc. He is worth it because, like you, he needs others loving him. This sounds funny but the world is round for a reason. We are all part of a circle. If you love him and he loves someone else, just think of whom you're hurting by loving him. It's a cycle. Whose love are you not returning?
I know we can love deeply, tenderly and lastingly. I have seen such love and I have felt such love myself. I learned that, aside from love and trust, a fulfilling relationship begins when two people make their time together their number one priority. If we hope to find love, we must first find time for loving. Many couples experienced a tragic moment together that taught them to value their time together. How we see our partners often depends on how we are than how they are. We are not audience but participant observers in each other's lives.
I used to ask myself where the love between my ex-boyfriend and I had gone. Maybe it's because we forgot that we are the ones who make it. Love was not out there. It was here between my ex and me. Before, I was him as a very sweet, caring, patient, and loyal person. But now it's different. It seemed like I'm the only one who does the loving. He really changed a lot. People really do change. Our hurtful and infantile arguments illustrate how we, instead of looking for love, may look for flaws. We spent the relationship struggling to change other's minds. But I realized it a little too late.
We must accept that there are many realities and learn to accept different points of view. My ex then became my eye-opener. He saw what I never could, and do the same for him. We made points of view between the two of us that's totally different from either one of us. He was there with me when it can be too cold or too warm. Both of us were restless, yearning for more than what we had, what we were. Everything was unbalanced and unpredictable. In almost imperfect setting, two not-so-perfect people shared something so very simple---a perfectly imperfect friendship---it's enough. At least he gave me something beautiful to believe in (love and trust).
I have felt so much pain during the relationship with my ex. It was hard to accept that I have loved someone who stopped loving me. Now, I couldn't help ask myself why do I no longer believe those two beautiful ideas (love and trust). Why can't I give myself a chance to be in love again? Maybe I'm just too scared. Or perhaps, maybe because I had been waiting for a perfect moment, a perfect someone, and a perfect me. maybe because I had always felt that beliefs ought to be perfect---ideal, so to speak ugh!
At the end of the day, when all is said and done, loving without being loved back is the best thing to do because feeling so much pain, I learn to heal; knowing so much fear, I learn to stand up to anything, carrying so much sadness, I learn to glorify in joy.
Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress. It is a lifetime venture in which we're always learning, discovering and growing.
Lastly, this may be a clich� but there is someone who is right for you (and even for me), and even if he's not, he'd still be right because loving doesn't make sense until you accept it and make it real.
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